Omkara hoped to have an honest conversation with Gauri today, though what he was going to say, he had no clue. But she wasn't in her room, when he came knocking. Hmm, he didn't see her at breakfast either.
"Om, what are you doing here?" asked Jahnvi, coming from the opposite direction.
"Umm, nothing, I just wanted to talk to Gauri about something. Do you know where she is?" said Omkara, furtively.
Jahnvi gave him a searching look, but didn't say anything.
"Om...Gauri went to work. Papa introduced her to this new group of women entrepreneurs learning how start their own small business. Its a cottage industry sort of thing. Gauri quit her previous job a few weeks ago when she left Mumbai, she thought she won't come back here, and go back to her mother, her city instead. But then she found out that Annika's her sister...and decided to stay here. Annika told me, that Gauri was running late for her work today, so she skipped breakfast and ran. Didn't she tell you?" asked Jahnvi.
"No, she didn't. And she is not obligated to tell me. And she might not even want to, since I can't answer any of her questions either" said Omkara, looking despondent and retreating to his room.
Jahnvi felt concerned for her son. She knew that it was his parents issues, their marriage, that had almost crippled her son for love. He wasn't afraid of commitment, after all he was committed to Riddhima for years. But Gauri was different, and so was Omkara's feelings towards her. Jahnvi desperately wanted to do something for her son, but what?
Back in his room, Omkara sighed as he sat down on his bed. He wasn't mad at Gauri. Their last fight was due to same reason that Gauri had not told him about her parentage.
Omkara knew he was being selfish in the extreme. He wanted that relationship with Gauri, where they would be so close that Gauri would confide everything in him, that she told everybody else: his mother, her sister, even his grandparents. Yet at the same time, he did not answer any of her questions that would encourage her to have faith in him, even think of pursuing a relationship with him. He was afraid to commit because of his past issues, but he wanted Gauri to have faith in him. Was he taking her for granted? Was he being an emotional leech?
He probably was. And that was the root cause of their issues. He was emotionally and mentally exhausted with all the betrayals and toils since the last year, so much, that he wanted something, wished for something, but could not express it.
Omkara sighed and picked up his brush. He couldn't talk to her in person, but he could always feel her, caress her in his painting.
*******************************************************
"Annika, can you hand me that list again?" said Shivaay.
It was late evening and they were in Shivaay's bedroom, looking through the list of victims' families to be invited for the memorial service.
"Sure, Shivaay" said Annika.
"Hmm, that's strange" said Shivaay.
"What?" said Annika, looking back at him curiously.
"The numbers don't tally between the file and the list" said Shivaay.
"Let me count" said Annika, taking both from him.
Shivaay laughed internally. Annika's poor mathematical skills were a running joke between him and Saahil. He made a mental note to tell Gauri about this as well, so that all of them could share on this joke.
Annika pored over the two sets of sheets for a while, did some calculation, and eventually gave up and handed those back to Shivaay. Shivaay tried not to laugh.
"I think I better go to the store room, and unravel the discrepancy" said Shivaay.
"I'll come with you too, I've never seen the store room in this mansion" said Annika excitedly.
Shivaay chuckled at how easily Annika got excited by anything.
The storeroom was rather dusty and smelled musty, since it hadn't been opened in months. Shivaay coughed as he stepped inside, and Annika thumped him in the back, to help him.
"Annika, wait, I'll switch on the lights, its dark in here" said Shivaay, remembering Annika's fear of darkness.
They proceeded inside a now-well lit storeroom, to go through the files. Annika didn't understand much of it, since a lot of them were business files, but Shivaay explained her what they were looking for.
"Huh, looks like I found it" said Shivaay.
"Oh, so is the confusion clear?" asked Annika.
"Apparently, there was a Mr. Harshvardhan Trivedi who worked in our company, head of the accounts department, but he disappeared after the disaster. The records are ambiguous about whether he died in the Mill accident or not. Thats why his family's name was not in the guest list" mused Shivaay.
"They have given an address, Shivaay. It looks like a home address, though its old. I can go tomorrow and find out if their family is still there. Maybe they can shed some light on the reason why his name wasn't there in the victims' list" suggested Annika.
"Annika, you'll go there? Alone? But I should go there" said Shivaay.
"Shivaay, I know you are busy tomorrow with the meeting with the Japanese delegates. Don't worry, if you like, I won't go alone, I will take....Gauri with me. Since, we missed out his family's name originally, maybe it would look more respectful if a family member came to meet them" said Annika.
"I'm so glad, I have you Annika. You care for me so much" said Shivaay, lovingly.
"Ha, ha. Well, I am your wife, of course, I should care for your needs" laughed Annika.
"That reminds me, there are certain other needs also...." said Shivaay, with a naughty glint in his eyes.
"Shivaay" exclaimed Annika.
The file pushed to the back of their minds, as they retreated back to their bedroom.
************************************************
Gauri returned home late. She was so tired that she immediately went to her room, and changed into her nightclothes.
It was a mentally exhausting day. First half of the day, went into understanding how the basics of how an entrepreneurship operated. Gauri was lucky that she ran her own shop in Bareilly for years, so she had enough experience, the issue however was designing and packaging clothes to a diverse set of buyers. The second half of the day went in her private tutor classes. Since, Gauri had made up her mind to work hard, she badgered her tutor with endless questions. Only when the tutor pleaded with Gauri that his wife would leave him if he didn't reach home on time, did Gauri apologize and ended the class quickly.
Gauri realized that she was hungry, and everyone must have already had dinner. Should she go and call Annika Jiji to have dinner with her? Gauri tiptoed quietly to her Jiji's room, but she heard certain giggling sounds coming from the room, so she fleed the spot. Of course, her Jiji would be busy.
What was I thinking? thought Gauri, hitting her forehead lightly, as she took out something to eat from the fridge. Unexpectedly, she was joined there by Omkara.
"What are you doing here?" asked Gauri.
"It is my house. I am hungry, so I came to the kitchen to have something" said Omkara, smiling slightly.
Of course! It was the most logical explanation. Why did Gauri think that he was seeking her? Gauri mentally kicked herself.
"S..sorry" said Gauri, shiftily.
"Looks like we missed dinner again" said Omkara.
Gauri saw the plate of that awful white 'pasta' in his hands, and remembered the time they were in Nanaji's house, and had skipped meals because they were late, and Omkara had made pasta for her.
"I returned home late. Why did you miss dinner?" asked Gauri.
"I was painting, I didn't realize the time" said Omkara simply.
Gauri had heard a lot about how he forgot everything when he was immersed in his work. She had seen his work too. But she had never seen his process. When he finally got back to his art, Gauri wasn't there in Mumbai, to witness it, but she had heard from Rudra about how he went into some deranged state when he was painting.
"Gauri....do you want to see?" asked Omkara, hesitantly, unsure of what she would say, knowing that there is a good chance she might refuse him.
Gauri was curious. So, she nodded.
Omkara broke into a smile. They both picked up their plates of food and proceeded to his room.
Omkara sat on his stool, next to his canvass, looking at his work while he ate, deciding for himself whether he translated his vision properly or not.
Gauri sat on his bed, and looked at the unfinished painting. There was still some more filling in and finishing left, she presumed. She ate her food, as she saw Omkaraji neglecting his plate and working on his painting. For a while Gauri just observed him.
Then it became clear that he was painting a girl. That girl who featured in most of his paintings in the exhibition.
"What do you think?" asked Omkara breaking into her thoughts.
"Its nice" said Gauri, curtly.
"Just nice?" asked Omkara, hearing the crisp reply.
"Its the same girl, isn't it? The one in those paintings in the exhibition?" asked Gauri, hating herself for sounding so curious.
"Yes" said Omkara surprised, after all, for Gauri to differentiate between the sketches of other human figures, and herself, on his canvass, was something....strange yet familiar.
Gauri felt something akin to disappointment mixed with irrational anger. He called her to witness him painting another woman? Men!
"I think I will go back to my room now" Gauri said abruptly, as she got up to leave.
"What happened?" asked Omkara, noticing her abrupt change of tone.
"Nothing, I'm sleepy and tired" said Gauri, not looking at him, afraid her eyes would give her away.
"No, its not that" said Omkara, as held her shoulders, to stop her from leaving, and forced her to look at him.
Was it....was Gauri...did he get that emotion correctly?
"Gauri....are you jealous?" asked Omkara, still searching her eyes.
"No" said Gauri, untruthfully, knowing that he must have caught the lie.
Omkara guffawed. "But Gauri, this painting....its you....the girl, its you."
Gauri's anger abated immediately. She hadn't trusted herself when Omkaraji had hinted something similar during the exhibition, choosing to believe instead that he had made paintings of some other girl, and announced the exhibition to lure her to Mumbai, for Annika Jiji. But now that he had said in actual words, that it was her, Gauri's heart felt immediately lighter and everything seemed brighter, more hopeful.
"I can't believe you were jealous of your own painting" said Omkara, chuckling.
"I didn't know it was me. And I wasn't jealous" said Gauri, frowning.
"Were" said Omkara, teasing her.
"Wasn't. And why would I be jealous? You are free to do whatever you want" said Gauri, carefully extricating herself from his hold and leaving the room.
Her own words reminded her of the reality of situation, and extinguished the joy that had for a brief moment, alighted in her heart.
Omkara sighed, whether in disappointment or frustration he didn't know.
He wasn't free, not anymore. He was imprisoned by a pair of exceptional brown eyes that seemed to look into his soul, and yet did not see what he was desperate to show, but could not say in words.