Sitting in your bedroom, alone in the dark, face stained with hot tears that never seemed to end and arms wrapped around your knees, you couldn't help but imagine what you would've said to Peter if he hadn't left. There were so many things you should have told him.
If he had stayed, if he hadn't said goodbye-
"Peter," you would have said, "some people long for a life that is simple and planned, tied with a ribbon. Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land, to follow what's written, but I'd follow you to the great unknown, off to a world we call our own."
You would have taken his hand.
Hand in my hand and we promise to never let go
We're walking a tightrope
High in the sky
We can see the whole world down below
We're walking the tightrope
Never sure, never know how far we could fall
But it's all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking the tightrope
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you
...
The headline was all you could see.
SUIT OF IRON MAN FOUND CRUSHED ON SCENE OF BATTLE
You had never met Tony Stark, but knew how much Peter cared for him. He saw him as a father, someone to fill the void left by Uncle Ben and his biological father.
Was he really dead?
Peter would be crushed.
And then came another fear - Peter would do anything to protect the ones he loved. Did he try to save him? Did it kill him, too?
There was a body in the suit, but police said it was crushed beyond recognition, and that it was the only body on scene. So maybe he wasn't dead, or maybe he was, and he just hadn't had an iron suit to preserve his body-
It made you sick to think about. You stood in front of the television screen that was dull of static and whispered to yourself what you would have said to Peter.
"Mountains and valleys, and all that will come in between, desert and ocean. You pulled me in and together we're lost in a dream, always in motion, so I risk it all just to be with you," you choked a little, your voice falling to the faintest of a whisper, "and I risk it all for this life we choose."
Hand in my hand
And you promised to never let go
We're walking the tightrope
High in the sky
We can see the whole world down below
We're walking the tightrope
Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?
Well, it's all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking the tightrope
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you
With you, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
With you, ooh-ooh-ooh
With you
...
Peter hid the ground hard, landing on his back. He groaned and cried out at the feeling of his spine popping and ribs cracking. His face contorted with pain underneath the mask, and then it was slid right off his face, and he could see the smoky sky, and Tony.
"Kid," he gasped, blood dripping from his busted lip. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry," he breathed. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Stark."
It was his fault. He let Pepper get into that suit. She wanted to protect Tony more than anything, and Peter understood. She had the same love for him that he had for you. He had to let her - but then she was grabbed by Thanos and slammed into the ground, and he screamed for her, and Thanos pushed her into the ground, and seconds went by and he heard bone after bone crack.
And now she was dead and everything was over-
"Shut up, you're okay, kid," he said, his voice catching. "You hear me? You're okay."
Peter shook his head, tears falling. "No. No, I'm not-"
"You are, and you're going to go home to that aunt of yours, and that girl of yours, and everything is going to be okay." He nodded fast. "Everything you did-" He choked. "You're a hero. You really are." He held out his hand. Peter lifted his arm. It felt so heavy. He clamped his palm across Tony's and gripped tight. "I'm going to get you out of here, Spider-ling. Just don't give up just yet."
Peter nodded.
"Enough of this," Thanos growled.
Peter got back up. The world was still in chaos. Natasha laid sprawled across the ground, a slash across her forehead. Clint was knelt beside her, gripping her hand and trying to urge her to get up. Vision was gone, Thor was holding his dead brother, and Gamora was collapsed on the ground, sobbing. She didn't get to say goodbye to her sister. Peter Quill held her, his eyes full of anger and glaring straight in the direction of Thanos, who was grinning proudly.
"This is pathetic," he chuckled.
Peter looked around. Thor was sobbing, holding his brother's face close to his. He whispered to him over and over again: "Enough of the tricks, brother-"
Peter grabbed his mask from Mr. Stark and pulled him up with him. They fell against one another, holding each other up, grunting against the pain. Steve looked up at them and gave them a quick nod. He glanced at Bucky and Wanda, and then T'Challa and Okoye, and they all nodded. The Guardians stood - even Gamora, who held onto Peter Quill like he was her lifeline. Hulk placed one giant hand on Thor's back. Loki was gently placed on the ground. Thor stood.
"This is not over," Thor said, "and we have not lost. Not one of us has lost." He looked at the broken, bruised team scattered around him. Wanda and Stephen Strange stared at him. "Hope is not lost," he called loudly.
Peter nodded. The team had less members now. They had lost Pepper, Loki, Nebula, Vision... but the team wasn't broken, not really.
And hope was not lost.