Tasha found herself falling into the habit of allowing her feelings to show around Loki more and more as they spent time together. He could make her laugh in ways no one else ever could. She wanted to blame everything on their stupid bond, but she knew the reality was she would always love him, and each moment she spent with him had made her fall in love with him all over again.
Part of her wanted to run and scream whenever she found herself falling for him, but there was this other part, constantly growing, that begged her to stay by his side. He was intoxicating; like a drug. Tasha was the drug addict and Loki was her fix. She found herself forgetting life without him, she found herself forgetting her time spent on earth. Her friends. Her new family. Steve. Nat. Sam— even Sam! But most importantly, she found herself beginning to forget her time with Bucky. How long had it been since she last saw him? She couldn't remember anymore.
"Darling?"
Tasha was brought out of her thoughts by Loki's cold hands on her shoulders. He was standing in front of her, looking down with a worried expression. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." Tasha replied as she pulled away from him. "Fine. What were you saying?"
"You've always been a terrible liar." Loki frowned as he rested his palm on her forehead, which he noticed was warm. "Are you not feeling well?"
"I said I'm fine, Loki." Tasha snapped, slapping his hand away from her face, though she instantly craved the cold he offered to offset the heat in her body.
"You are clearly not fine, Tasha." Loki replied with narrowed brows.
"Can you just stop? Please?"
Loki shook his head. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."
"Everything! Alright?! Everything is wrong! I shouldn't be here! I shouldn't be here with you!"
"Where else should you be?"
"Not here. I have a life back on Earth, Loki. I don't want to be here! I don't want to feel these things! Not with you! Not after everything you've done!" Tasha screamed before pushing past him.
"Loki, just leave me alone!" Tasha cried as she heard his footsteps grow near. "I don't want you here, okay?! Just go!"
"I'm not going anywhere. I promised you—"
"Fuck you! And fuck your promises! You never keep your promises." She mumbled in anger.
"Please, Tasha." Loki was the one crying now as he held onto her arms. "Please let me show you everything. Please."
"You chose to lie and manipulate me. You used the tesseract on me for fuck sakes! You can't expect me to bow down to you because we're soulmates. You don't get to break my heart and just waltz back in whenever you want."
"I've made many mistakes, but everything I've done, I've done for you, my sweet... I promise you that."
Tasha sighed. "Loki—"
"Please, darling. Let me show you. Please."
Tasha wanted nothing more than to pull away, but hearing the brokenness in his voice made her heart ache more, if it were possible. After a long pause, Tasha nodded, immediately regretting her decision. Loki held her arm with one hand while the other went to the side of her face, gently caressing the skin as he closed his eyes, opening his mind, body and soul to her.
It was a strange feeling being connected to Loki again after so long. It was an intimacy Tasha wished she would have declined but there was no use now. She watched the memories play across her eyes, like they were yesterday — only they weren't.
*
Tasha let out a deep sigh as she stood in the once lavish garden. Ever since she had returned to Asgard, the plant life became more dull with each passing glance. It was as though the life was being sucked from everything around her the longer she was away from Loki.
How long had it been? Weeks? A month perhaps? All Tasha felt was pain when she thought of her lover, being locked away in a cell due to his own selfish desires. She cursed the day she allowed herself to believe Loki's lies.
"I remember the day Odin found you in that forest."
Tasha clenched her teeth at the voice, soft footsteps moving until they stood beside the young girl. "Mother—"
"Hush, child." Frigga rested her hand on her daughters arm. "I know you miss Loki."
"Miss?" Tasha scoffed. "I don't wish to be within sniffing distance of him."
"You're hurt. I understand —"
"You don't understand anything!" Tasha snapped, shoving her mother's hand away.
"It's selfish for me to ask this of you." Frigga admitted with a frown. "But Loki needs you. I fear without you by his side, he will never get better."
"Get better?! Mother, Loki is... is a monster!" She yelled as tears came to her eyes. "Please do not ask this of me. Please, mother."
"I will not ask of you, my daughter. But the longer you stray from him, the worse you yourself will become. Your beings are bound, heart, mind and souls."
"If he has any of that." Tasha mumbled bitterly.
"All I ask, is that you see him once."
"The last time I tried to see him he screamed at me. I..." Tasha sighed. "What would you have me do?"
....
Tasha tried to push away all feelings as she stepped into the cellblock. A deep sigh left her lips as she entered Loki's cell, who was standing with his back to her.
"Mother wanted me to bring you these." She set down the three books on a small table, her eyes cautiously examining the small room. Everything was in proper order, surprising since the last time she was there he had broke everything. She looked at the books she had brought, smiling slightly when she saw they were her favorites. "You hate these."
"You don't." Loki said quietly, not turning to her.
A sigh left her lips. "I hear you every night." Tasha said sadly as she stood by the glass. "I hear you call to me." She laughed sadly. "And no matter how hard I try, I find myself calling to you. Praying that it was all a terrible dream and that I'll wake up and things will be back to normal... but it wasn't a dream, was it?"
"I shouldn't have included you." Loki said as he turned to look at his lover.
"Included me? That's what you call it?" Tasha turned to look at him and felt her heart break. His blue green eyes were so distant. It was as though he were already dead and gone.
"My love—"
"Do you know what happened? When you used the tesseract on me? Huh?"
Loki was silent as he averted his gaze.
"I had no control of my body as you used me to do your own bidding. You manipulated me. You — you made me kill dozens of people without a second thought."
"I did what I had to do." Loki replied.
"What you—? What you had to do?!" Tasha glared. "Please explain to me how controlling me was a necessity?!"
"You were ruining everything! I had to keep you safe—"
"The only thing I needed protection from was you." Tasha spat.
"Please, let me—" Loki reached for her arm, but she immediately shoved him away.
"Don't you dare touch me."
"Let me explain—"
"You've had your chance to explain. I'm not here for you. I'm here for mother." She lied, her heart breaking as she felt her entire being yearn to be close to him.
"Tasha, please." Loki begged, grasping onto her wrists gently.
"How could you do that to me?" Tasha asked as the tears finally fell from her face. Her green eyes looked up into his as her heart broke. "Why couldn't you just come home?!"
"I'm sorry!" Loki stroked her cheek. "My love, I'm so sorry I hurt you. Please don't leave me."
He is dangerous. He will hurt you. He will break you. He will be your doom. Your love doesn't matter. Your feelings doesn't matter. He will be your death if you stay with him.
As much as she tried to fight it, she found herself relishing in his cold body as Loki pulled her to him. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she felt his lips on her forehead, cheek, and jaw before he pulled her to the bed. He laid with her atop him, his hands caressing her back as she tried to forget all the horrible things he had done.
The tears came to a halt as she laid quietly with her head on his chest, her heart still compared to the racing it had done earlier. She felt content, a sick, dark feeling consuming her but instead was shoved down deep and replaced by hope.
And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
What a stupid lamb.
What a sick, masochistic lion.
...
A/N: Hey! This chapter is depression central lol. Please leave any ideas for Tasha x Loki! Can be flashback scenes or current story or future scenes!! Let me know :) angst, smut, fluff, etc any ideas are appreciated.