The short story is dedicated to Mary Angel Candy Arpal. Thank you for helping me during the muting days!
Chapter 68
"You should give up on him. Hindi ka naman niya pinapansin. Like duh? You're very pretty. Ano ba ang nakita mo sa kanya? Everyone's confused about your damn taste." Tonette gritted her teeth.
I bitterly smiled. Until now, I couldn't point out the reason why I am head over heels off him. Wala akong matandaang ginawa niya para sa akin upang ganito ako sa kanya. I tried to recall everything, our encounters, or conversation, but I failed to name anything that would ignite into love.
Minsan naiinis na rin ako sa sarili ko. I've been convincing myself to stop my illusion and dream about him, but I couldn't just stop. Sa tuwing nakikita ko siya, nraramdaman ang presensiya niya sa malapit... nawawala bigla iyong pilit kong pagkumbinsi sa sarili ko.
As if we have this invisible tie... o tamang sabihin na ako lang ang nakakaramdam?
"He's gwapo! Ano ka ba?!" I masked my bitterness with my usual cheerful tone.
But that didn't work with my dear friend. She knew me too well. Tuluyan na siyang humarap sa akin at hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.
"Mary Angel... makinig ka naman sa akin. I hate to see you broken... forget about him. Wala siyang amor sa mga babae..."
"M-Maybe... I could melt those ice..."
Umiling siya. "Tama na, Mary. You're just hurting yourself."
"Tonette, ilang beses kong sasabihin sa 'yo. I think... we knew each other for a very long time... he's just denying it..."
I saw disappointment with my friend's eyes. "Mary Jane..."
Inilihis na namin ang usapan dahil alam kong hindi kami magkakaintindihan. Mabigat ang pakiramdam ko nang makatulog ako.
And yes, I was thinking of him again.
"Mary Jane..."
Nang sandaling nagmulat ako ng aking mga mata, sinalubong na naman ako ng pamilyar na eksena.
I was in a middle of a garden with swirling small leaves dancing with the wind. The sunlight was beaming on my face and my glamorous gown glittered with it.
Marahan kong hinawakan ang kasuotan ko at bahagya iyong itinaas para tulungan ang sarili kong humakbang.
Someone was calling me.
Lumingon ako sa iba't ibang direksyon para makita ang pinanggalingan ng boses ng lalaking tumawag sa akin. And when my eyes went at the shadow near the biggest tree behind me, a small smile crept on my lips.
It's him. My love of my life.
"Tielo..."
Tuluyan siyang lumabas sa likuran ng puno at inilahad niya ang kanyang sarili sa akin. Ibinuka niya ang kanyang mga braso sa akin at patakbo akong nagtungo sa kanya habang buhat ang kasuotan ko.
When I reached him and with his arms tightened around him, I felt home again, even if I knew that it was a dream.
What is he so different in my real world? Bakit tila hindi niya ako makilala sa mundong ngayon ay ginagalawan namin.
Why can't he recognize me?
"Tielo... I love you..."
Hinaplos niya ang pisngi ko. "I love you too..."
"But why—"
Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil umiling siya at inilagay niya ang isa niyang daliri sa labi ko.
"I love you, Mary Jane... always."
Nang magising ako, mas lalo lamang bumigat ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko maintindihan ang panaginip na iyon, parang tunay na nangyari at may nais ipahiwatig.
Simula nang araw na iyon, sinubukan kong hindi saktan ang sarili ko. I tried to avoid Tielo and I saw how confused he was because of my behavior, kahit ang mga kaibigan ko ay napapahanga na sa akin. I was about to be proud of myself not until I got a news few weeks later.
Tielo got into an accident that ended his life, and right after I got the news, an anonymous letter was sent for me with a very short message.
Live long and be happy, my love. - T