⪼ S A P P H I R E
I awoke to soft sheets. My eyes were still adjusting. I blink then I close then I blink again. Idinilat ko lang ito ng buo nang maramdamang may kasama ako rito at hindi nga ako nagkakamali.
Sa hindi kalayuan, nakaupo si Silver sa isang monoblock habang nagce-cellphone. Why is he here? But then, I suddenly remembered that I passed out. Siguro siya ang nagdala sa akin rito. So the real question should be: why is he still here?
"Oh, you're awake." His voice sounded so soft. That's strange. I'm not used to it.
"Yeah." Sinubukan kong bumangon kaya lang kumirot ang ulo ko kaya hindi ko na itinuloy. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin nang mapansin iyon. "What happened?"
"You just killed someone." Now his tone sounded different. Cold. With a hint of warning.
Nang maalala ko ang nangyari kanina ay wala akong naramdamang kahit ano, hindi ako kinabahan or something. Para bang sanay na akong gawin ang bagay na 'yon which is weird. Siguro kasi para sa akin tama lang ang ginawa ko. Damn, he's high and he tried to kill me, he even brought all the painful memories back by drowning me!
"Killing is prohibited kaya maghanda ka na sa parusa mo." Mukha ba akong takot maparusahan? I have a deep and acceptable reason so siguro naman hindi mabigat ang parusang maibibigay sa akin.
Whatever it is, handa akong tanggapin iyon.
"He tried to kill me, inunahan ko lang siya." I buried my head against the pillow and stared at him. "What should I do then? Be kind to him? Just let it slide?" I asked, trying to justify what I did.
He sighed. "Don't think about it for now."
"You're the one who reminded me."
"Because you asked?" He said, stating the very obvious. Natahimik tuloy ako.
"Oh, right." Napahawak ako sa ulo ko at pumikit. Pagkadilat, nakatitig pa rin siya sa akin. Weird 'cause I don't feel uncomfortable at all. As if his presence is fine with me now.
I hate to admit this but he's the reason why I'm still alive. I have fear of drowning so I can't do anything a while ago, siguro kung hindi siya dumating malamang patay na ako. I wanted to thank him, but my pride is blocking the way.
"You have fear of water, right?" Tanong niya sa akin. How did he know that?
"Just drowning." Pagtatama ko at tumango naman siya at iiwas na sana ang tingin sa akin kaso nagsalita akong muli. "I have a little brother before, now he's dead and it's because of me. It's because I failed to save him on that ocean, I only managed to get myself saved." Sumikip bigla ang dibdib ko nang maalala ang pangyayari na 'yon kaya naman huminga muna ako ng malalim. I prevented my tears from falling, but it's suffocating me.
My heart aches.
"My parents said I'm very selfish, but trust me I don't want any of that to happen. I tried my best to get him out of the water, but I don't know how to swim that time." Napatingin ako kay Silver at nakita kong tahimik lang siya habang nakikinig sa kwento ko.
"Caspien was taken by the waves, hindi na natagpuan ang bangkay niya."
"It's not your fault." He uttered under his breath. It's clearly visible that he's holding back because he could see how sensitive I am right now. Maybe it's his first time seeing me vulnerable.
"That's why I was so afraid when that shithead drowned me. Naisip ko, gano'n pala ang pakiramdam ni Caspien noong nags-struggle siyang mabuhay." I smiled bitterly. That's why I hate attachments kasi pabaya akong tao. Parang sarili ko lang lagi ang naiisip ko lagi.
"Anyway, forget about that. Ayaw kong mag-iba ang tingin mo sa akin. Always remember that Sapphire Quinn isn't nice and fragile. A bloody evil. The Sapphire Quinn everyone knows." My lips dragged the last sentence with a sigh. I don't know. Suddenly, I feel like I'm not myself.
A timid smile formed in his lips and I could see his eyes forming a crescent shape. Why is he smiling?
"Death is afraid of the bloody evil Sapphire Quinn." Natatawang sambit nito kaya naman sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.
"Nah, it's because you saved m—"
"Nah." He cuts me off once again. "Death is afraid of you." Then he laughed.
"Why are you laughing?"
"Why did you opened up to me? Thought you hate me?" Inangat niya ang magkabilang kilay. Why did he have to remind of that incident on the library? Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin 'yon makalimutan. Anyway enough with that, I really just wanted to say thanks, but I ended up telling him why I have such fear.
Dapat kasi talaga hindi na siya nagtanong. Kasalanan niya 'to.
"How did you know that I have that kind of fear?" I asked.
"It's obvious. Kapag may swimming classes, pass lagi ang sagot mo. Napapaisip nga ako kung may takot ka sa tubig paano ka naliligo? Don't tell me..." Hinagisan ko siya ng unan dahil sa sinabi niya.
"I told you it's just fear of drowning!" Tumawa siyang muli at iwinasiwas ang kamay niya sa ere na para bang pinatitigil na ako. "Wait, another question."
"What?"
"Did you just laugh?" Nang itanong ko 'yon ay bigla na namang bumalik ang normal expression niya. Emotionless expression. Isn't it ironic? His normal expression is not having any.
"Whatever." He stood up and fixed the pillows. "Let's eat, I could hear your stomach screaming for food. Tulog mantika ka kasi."
"It's because I passed out, you idiot."
Pabiro ko siyang inirapan bago ako tumayo at sumunod sa kaniya paglabas.
Nauna ng bahagya sa akin si Silver sa paglalakad dahil ayaw kong makasabay siya. Kahit papaano may pride pa rin akong pinoprotektahan. Plus, I shouldn't let him break my walls that easily. Pagpasok namin sa cafeteria ay siyang paglabas naman nila Dannah at Blake. Huminto sila parehas sa harapan ko kaya napakunot ang noo ko.
"Okay ka na?" Tanong sa akin ni Dannah.
"What are talking about?"
"Sabi ni Shaiala, may nagtangka raw pumatay sa 'yo. Pinapasabi niya na sorry raw kasi umalis siya agad kaya hindi—" Natigil siya sa pagsasalita nang itaas ko ang kamay ko.
"I'm not her responsibility so need to say sorry." Nilagpasan ko silang dalawa at hindi ko naman napansin na katabi ko na pala sa paglalakad si Silver.
"Anong gusto mong kainin? I'll get it for you." Kumuha siya ng dalawang plato pero agad kong inagaw ang isa.
"I'm alright now." I hissed making him chuckle. Hinayaan niya na lang ako. We get foods for us, that's weird because I'm not used to eat with him, but somehow it feels just fine. But I'm glad he knows how to keep distance. Siguro naninibago din siya.
We sat on the usual seat. Ngayon ko pa lang siya makakasama kumain, hindi ko nga alam kung bakit hanggang ngayon nakabantay pa rin siya. I started eating as if he's not around. Gano'n rin naman ang ginawa niya.
"Pagsabihan mo ang kaibigan mo." Bigla siyang nagsalita.
"Sinong pagsasabihan ko?" I chuckled. Wala naman akong cinoconsider na friends dito. Siya na ang nagsabi no'n 'di ba? Wala akong cinoconsider na friends rito.
"Everytime Ford sneaks out, lagi ako ang ginagamit niyang cover up. Akala niya yata close kami." Napailing siya habang natatawa.
"How?"
"Kapag napapansin nila na nawawala na siya, ako ang mag-iimbento ng palusot kasi ang dorm ko lagi ang kinakatok. Magkatabi lang kasi ang room namin."
"Pumapayag ka naman?"
He just shrugged.
Napa-isip tuloy ako. Kaya pala gano'n ang galit ni Silver kay Ford nang mahuli ito. It's because he's involved too. Bakit niya pa ba kasi tinutulungan sa gano'n si Ford na para bang nakalimutan niya na rin ang tama sa mali.
Suddenly, the whole cafeteria went silent. The door opened and that's when I saw someone I didn't expect to be here. "Mr. President." Bati ng lahat pero nakatingin lang siya sa akin.
"What's with the superiors? You guys are breaking the rules one by one." The authority and disappointment in his voice made me stop. "Bring her to my office." Lumapit sa akin ang dalawang tauhan niya pero agad silang pinigilan ni Silver.
"You don't need to drag her."
What is he even doing? Hindi ba siya natatakot?
"She killed someone yet you're taking her side. Anong nangyayari sa inyo nila Hendrix? Corrupted na ba ang mga pag-iisip niyo? So much disappointment." Si Mr. President lang ang may kayang makapagpatahimik sa akin. I know what he's capable of, talagang hindi siya dapat kinakalaban.
"That's self-defense, Mr. President."
"I've watched the CCTV footage and she clearly did the offense after you beat the outsider black and blue." Offense? Outsider? "That's no longer a self-defense, you acted retaliation against the original aggressor. Ang self-defense ay habang, and retaliation ay pagkatapos."
"But—" Silver was clearly finding the right statement to defend me, but it's clearly my fault. Wala akong lusot dito. Nagpabulag ako sa galit.
"At my office. Now." Mr. President walked first, followed by his bodyguards. I was hesitant to follow, but Silver dragged my wrist. I protested, but he went closer to whisper something on my ear.
"Don't worry. I'll defend you, I'm on your side."
_