"Damn that looks a hell of a lot better." Natasha was helping Bobbi change her bandages after she woke up and couldn't help but be surprised at how good the incision looked. Most of the redness had gone away but the stitches still looked a little angry.
"Awesome," the blonde said bored. "Can I get up now? If I lay in this bed one more day I'm going to go insane." She hated laying around and doing nothing. She would rather be training or picking fights with Hunter. Plus, she hated showing weakness, especially in front of the Black Widow. Bobbi had heard stories where Natasha had been injured in missions and kept on fighting, never showing an ounce of pain. Bullet wounds, stabbings, being impaled by shrapnel from an exploding grenade...But those could just be stories, right? What about that one where she purposely stepped in front of a throwing knife, just so she could have it impale her so she could then pull it from her body and use it back against her attacker? There was video of that though. I wonder if she would really tell me if I asked? War stories always seemed to get a little more interesting each time they are told, especially if it's one where you were on the mission with the famous assassin. Damn those meds are messing with my head, stop doubting yourself Morse. Bobbi snapped out of it when Darcy called her out with that horrendous nickname.
"Barbie, you already are insane, going all that time without telling me you were hurt. So, as your punishment, you are banned for one more day before you can get up." The blonde agent reached over to a spare pillow and hurled it at Darcy. Darcy dodged it and missed the impact by barely an inch. "Hey now! Besides, Jemma said a few days, it's only been since yesterday morning that you had surgery. You really do have one more day anyways."
"One more day my ass," Bobbi mumbled with a slight grimace as her stiches pulled some from the movement of throwing the pillow.
"See," Natasha said as she reached over to the bedside table and shook out one of the painkillers from out of the bottle. "That hurt didn't it. Darcy is right, one more day and then you can move around, lightly, or so help me I will strap you to that bed myself."
"Ooooh kinky," Darcy joked before another pillow was thrown at her, this time with perfect accuracy and hitting her squarely in the chest by Natasha. Ignoring the assault, Darcy hopped over to Bobbi's bed and sat next perpendicular to her with her back against the wall. "Anyways," she began changing the subject. "Nat, you said your morning was eventful or something?"
"Uggggh do we have to do this now? I need a hot shower first, maybe a shot of vodka, or three." The red head sighed in discontent.
For the first time, Bobbi noticed her mud streaked pants. "Natasha, what happened this morning? Are Skye and Jemma okay?"
"They are fine, no trouble on the way to the jet. Skye gave me secured laptop also so I can get a message out to the team, letting them know we are okay." She saw Darcy smile, she had to be aching to let Jane know.
Before Natasha continued, she pulled the feather from out of her pocket and studied it for a moment. "I met a guy in a bar the night you two got here..."
"Look at that! Natasha the assassin meeting guys!" Darcy shut up after receiving yet another death glare from both Bobbi and Natasha.
"As I was saying, this guy came in and sat next to me at the bar. There were a bunch of old HYDRA agents sitting a table behind us telling old war stories. Aside from me, they were talking about 'a ghost' that just struts into HYDRA bases and takes them all out, no warning. He used to be ex HYDRA so now everyone pretty much hates the guy. No one seemed to know why he defected."
"What does this have to do with the random guy sitting next to you?" Bobbi asked.
"That's just it, he wasn't some random guy. I ran into him before leaving this room just hours before that. He was right outside of the door and before that, I could swear he was following me. It was too many coincidences. When I confronted him at the bar, he very subtly let me know he was 'the ghost' the old men were talking about."
Bobbi looked thoughtful and Darcy couldn't help but to ask why he was following her.
"I don't know, but when I left I thought he was following me again, which is when you jumped out at me and I almost killed you Darce."
Darcy rubber her chest where the knife had nicked her. "Yeah, I already said it wasn't my smartest idea. You were so on edge that night."
"You know," Bobbi began, "I heard something in the woods the other night when HYDRA got to you but no one ever attacked or showed themselves. Do you think it could have been him?"
"Oh I have no doubt," Natasha confirmed. "Which is when my day got weird. On the way back today, I came across the dead HYDRA agents and the area was being swarmed by new agents to bag and tag. They were collecting the bodies but they were all kind of freaked out. That's when I noticed this." She twirled the feather in her fingers studying it again. Darcy reached over and took it, inspecting it herself. There was nothing special about it, just a plain white feather.
"A bird feather?" she asked confused.
"There was one stuck in every dead agent's hand, it's a dove feather. It led the agents to think 'the ghost' had killed them all, I guess it's his trademark. He took the blame for the assault."
The other two women looked at her dumbstruck. Bobbi then reached out to Darcy and she gave her the feather.
"Apparently, his name is Dove. Well, some agents were making their way over to where I was hiding and were almost on top of me, I had nowhere to hide. A rock then flies past my head and into the woods. It distracted the agents so I got out of there while I could. Well I look to the left as I was high tailing it out of there and wouldn't you know, ghost boy was there. He smiled at me and winked before he disappeared as well. He threw that rock so the agents wouldn't see me."
"So he's a friendly?" Darcy asked a little confused. All of this was a little hard to take in.
"I still don't know Darce. Before I made it back to the room he had left another feather in front of an alley, like he wanted me to meet him. Well I went in there and he's just leaning against the wall. We talk and he says that he's on our side and that he wants HYDRA to 'pay for what they did."
Bobbi handed the feather back to Natasha who then put it back in her pocket. "He handed me that feather and then sort of left. He felt so familiar but I just can't place it."
"Do you think you've met him before?" Bobbi asked as she tried to get more comfortable.
"I know I've never met him before, I don't know, it's all just too weird. If you guys ever come across him, be careful. Something makes me want to trust him but he used to be HYDRA. It could be a trap."
"I don't know about you guys, but 'Dove' sounds pretty hot and mysterious to me. I want to meet him." Natasha rolled her eyes at Darcy's comment but she knew she was joking, kind of.
"Do you think he has something to do with why you are here?" Bobbi had to ask, even though she knew that whole topic was a sore subject.
"I don't think so," she said, "no one in the world, or worlds, knows except for me, Darcy, Thor, who is in Asgard at the moment, and Loki who I don't think would ever tell." She said the last part while looking to Darcy.
"He wouldn't," the young girl said with as much confidence as she could muster. "At least I don't think he would. I mean, he did sort of try to kill you, and you kicked him off a roof. A very tall roof."
Bobbi rolled her eyes at Darcy. "Well to me it seems like an evil god that was hell bent on destroying the world a few years ago would blab to someone."
"You don't know the whole story Barbie," Darcy began defensively but was cut off by Natasha.
"Which brings me to my next point; I think it's time you knew. You've been with us through this much and it almost got you killed, yet you still fought to be here..."
"Natasha, I know that some serious shit has gone on but I don't mind being out of the loop anymore. That look you had the other night when we first saw you, and then I saw you having some sort of nightmare when you were sedated, that was a lot, even for me."
"I know, but you still need to know. I would rather tell you than it get out somehow and you get confused."
Natasha started with the whole Tony thing, where she overheard him in the kitchen telling the team that he didn't trust her. Later, she spilled no detail on her panic attack when on that mission to acquire that weapon from the warehouse, and how Tony saved her. When she got to the part about building the machine to explore her mind, Bobbi could hardly believe it. She asked why Natasha couldn't just tell him, but Natasha explained that the things she went through in her life couldn't be explained, they had to be seen to really get the whole picture.
Then she moved on to the actual mind part. "When we got into my mind, it all felt so real. We could feel the freezing snow and biting wind. We came upon my childhood house first. He saw me jump from the top story into the snowbank below because the entire house was on fire. I heard it all over again, the screams of my parents as they burned alive, trapped inside. That's when Ivan found me and my Red Room torture began. It was only later that I found out he had set the fire that left me an orphan."
The mood in the room was dark and not even Darcy spoke. She had heard bits and pieces of what went on, just not in this much detail
"He tried to break me, over and over. Memory wipes with enough electricity to make you forget even your own name, torture by fire, mind games. He trained me, had me kill, had me become this weapon. I was his prized student, his little spider. I was only a little kid Bobbi! As I got older, I got even better. He and his fellow scientist had been working on this serum, a super soldier serum that had never been tested before. He had me kill 24 of my sisters, girls that I had grown up with. That was the final test, and the moment I was Natalia in this world. As Tony and I watched the massacre, I had another panic attack. The bracelets Tony had fit us with to get us out of my head wouldn't work so we were trapped. Since the rest of the team were watching what was going on, Tony yelled for Bruce to get us out of there so he tried, but only Tony came out. I got stuck since Tony had the bright idea to use a Chitauri crystal on me for a more powerful connection. I died that night, but somehow came back to life. Steve walked in during Bruce's Hulking out and when he saw the screen that was still playing, he saw Ivan carve a spider in my chest. My dreamscape also became my reality and the cut appeared on my chest as I laid there on that god dammed table. Then I got the super soldier serum. My mind was still stuck in that machine so I had to relive it all over again. I had never known that much pain in my life. Every time I got hurt from that point on, shot at, stabbed, blown up as I relived my worst moments, it happened in real life, but I didn't heal in this world how Natalia healed in my mind. I don't know how they managed to keep me alive. I forgot who I was, it was all Natalia. The night I was injected all I wanted to do was die. The next morning while I was still trapped, Ivan sent in about 20 guards and I killed every one on them in under a minute with no remorse. He was amazed with what the serum had done. I was faster, stronger... I was the Black Widow. During all of that though, another bright idea by Tony had him and Thor going to Asgard to break Loki out since he had the most knowledge about the Chitauri crystal."
"Natasha, you can stop anytime," Bobbi said but she was ignored.
"The out of control machine then had me jumping years instead of days or weeks. I had to take out a government official at one point and after I killed him, his daughter came into the room. She was just a little girl but I was so engrossed in the killing that I threw my knife into her. I started to get some of my humanity back that night. I started to realize that what Ivan was doing was wrong and I shouldn't be enjoying it. Then came The Winter Soldier."
Bobbi really got interested then. She was recalling how Tony brought Natasha/Natalia to the BUS after she was tortured by him.
"I met him that night and we were to train together. After the introduction, I escaped the compound like I had been doing for years and went to my cave. It was where I would go to get away from it all and relax, but I wasn't alone that night. Someone came upon me and I attacked him, but he quickly overpowered me. No one had ever beaten me before and wouldn't you now, it was Loki himself. We became friends that night and met many more times to escape our worlds, he fell in love with me actually."
"You have got to be kidding." Bobbi was in shock. "That's a joke, right?" The serious face Natasha was showing along with Darcy's still expression told her it wasn't.
"The next morning though when I was back at the compound, Ivan and Dr. Andrei took James and I at separate times, The Winter Soldier I mean, Bucky, whatever, and gave us each an injection. I guess I was the only one who ended up getting an injection but more on that later. The Avengers all watched from the screen thing in the lab and they had no clue what it was. Neither did I at the time but then it became clear. About that time Tony and Thor came back with Loki and Loki figured out how to try and disconnect me from the machine. They ended up using yet another crystal and made it into a cuff that went around my wrist that would somehow draw the other crystals energy out of me. Well, it worked but it wasn't me who woke up."
Bobbi nodded in understanding. "It was Natalia."
"Bingo. I was lost somewhere in Natalia's mind and thought that this was just another mission from Ivan. Her memories continued like she had already lived it while also being in our world, it's all a little confusing. After she woke up though, the connection was severed and the Avengers couldn't watch the screen thing anymore. I remember waking up as her. She had no idea where she was but was taking in information as she slowly drifted back into consciousness."
"That's where I come in!" Darcy exclaimed. Bobbi looked at her in amusement. "I mean, Jane and I came to visit right as she was starting to wake up so I had no idea what was going on. I almost tased Loki when I first saw him. It was pretty funny actually to see him afraid of me again. He thought I had lightning powers but it was just my taser."
"It was also funny when I put every one of your asses when I, Natalia woke up." Natasha had a little light in her eyes as she remembered that part.
"Wait, you mean you actually hit Darcy?" Bobbie asked incredulously. The two seemed so close.
"Wouldn't be the last time," Darcy muttered.
"As I was saying," Natasha continued, "Natalia thought it was all a test and had no idea who anyone was, save for Loki, so she tried to fit in, infiltrate I guess you could say. Darcy was a big help as I recovered from all the injuries and that's when we became close. Natalia almost felt bad about needing to kill her. Well, as Natalia, she healed fast and none of the Avengers thought anything was wrong, kind of hurts now that I think about it. Anyways, as I got better, I trained more. It was all Natalia, she was stronger than I was, sharper and faster too, and no one had a clue. Well one day I got Bruce to Hulk out so I could see if I could beat him, and I kind of did when he got distracted and I stabbed him as he turned human again; he's been in a coma since. I also tried to kill Steve, but hesitated last minute. I then ran away with Darcy who had no idea what had happened and since I put the Tower on lockdown, no one could reach out to her to let her know, and I found you guys to help me find Bucky, well, I needed Skye. I, well Natalia, set up a plan to draw you guys out with that HYDRA attack so I could get to her. Natalia had been getting so many flashbacks and feelings that she didn't know who to trust anymore. The flashbacks were confusing since they were of memories that were taken from her, me. She was trying to find answers and since she knew of The Winter Soldier, she thought he would be able to help her. Loki kept popping up and saying that he knew what the key was but he wouldn't tell me. Natalia didn't even know because it was a memory that Loki himself took from her, well, me when I was still in Red Room. Skye eventually found Bucky and we were on our way, but Darcy figured out it was Natalia the whole time and tried to escape. I tried to kill her as well but she got away. I guess I kind of went on a rampage. I eventually found Bucky and asked him to help me take down the avengers. What Natalia didn't know was that this Bucky was a friend to the Avengers, well to Steve, and not the same comrade she had grown to know in the Red Room. After that, he vowed to never let me hurt one of them and that's the reason we have a little bad blood right now and why he tortured me. He thought I was still planning to take them down but I was Natasha again when he kidnapped me. Loki had broken the Natalia/Natasha connection right before so I was unconscious."
"Damn," was all Bobbi said as she tried to keep up.
"So, back to younger me in the flashbacks and that injection I was talking about. James and I trained together for weeks. Ivan wanted to see how evenly matched we were and Ivan was indeed impressed. One day I got a kick to my stomach by James and Ivan went into a rage. He sent James away then and I never saw him again for years."
"Why did that make Ivan so mad? I'm sure you've gotten worse before right?" Bobbi couldn't help but ask, it just didn't make sense.
"Yeah I've gotten worse, but after that I was taken off the training schedule and put on restrictions. I had no idea why but it didn't take too much longer to find out."
"Natasha, do you want to take a break before you get to the rest?" Darcy asked, knowing that the next part of the story would be very upsetting to her.
Natasha smiled at the young brunette. "I think I've got it, thanks though. If I don't get it all out now I don't know if I will be able to again." Taking a deep breath to calm the emotions that were threatening to break through, she began again.
"Ivan wouldn't let me do anything anymore, not even training. He kept me in my room, only to take me out for testing. They would always sedate me like whatever they were doing was some big secret. I wanted to know, so I snuck out of my room and broke into the lab. The file I needed was hidden in a secret compartment in a filing cabinet but I found it and what I read changed me forever."
Darcy grabbed her knee and Natasha grabbed her hand subconsciously for the comfort. Bobbie thought to herself that this is why they were here. Whatever was in that file was the defining moment. Natasha's breath shook as she disappeared into her own little world. Darcy squeezed her hand though and brought her back,
"Right, sorry. It was all about a Phase 2 experiment, and every attempt at it was a fail, except for the last one. I still remember the first sentence of the successful attempt like its burned into my mind. It was a short summary about what Phase 2 was. 'The purpose of this experiment is to find out if the sterilization process can be overcome by the super serum. After many simulations, the experiment proved to be a success and the product will be the first of its kind.' They called her a damn product. They planned to take her from me, and do the experiment over and over on me, her, and future generations. There was no way I was going to let that happen."
"Wait, I'm confused, what is the product?" Bobbi was startled at the furious glare Natasha gave her. It looked as if the red head was about to snap until Darcy got in her face.
"Nat, calm down, she doesn't know. It's okay, you cool?" Darcy finally succeeded in calming the assassin down.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Bobbi, I didn't mean it," she apologized.
"It's okay, I know it's hard for you. What else did the report say? Maybe it can help me figure it out if you don't want to say it just yet."
Natasha went into a robotic mode and said what the rest of the report said. "When DNA from James Buchannan (weaponized soldier of HYDRA and RED ROOM), and Natalia Romanova were combined with a hybridized version composed of the super serum from both person's blood, the product was formed. The new serum was injected into Natalia 3 months prior to this report. Product appears to be healthy despite the fear of accidental abortion when a blow to Romanova's abdomen occurred. Training was halted and suspended until after product arrives. Product will be taken from the mother upon birth, and various experiments run to find out if he/she portrays any trace of the serum in its system. If present, experiment will be repeated."
It felt as if all of the air was sucked from the room as Bobbi finally realized what was going on. Before she could even say a word though, Natasha was talking again and she didn't dare interrupt.
"I was pregnant. I loved her from that moment on and vowed to protect her, to keep her out of Ivan's greedy hands. When he found out I knew, he started making plans to take her from me early. He forced more injections on me that made me weak so I couldn't fight back. As the months dragged on, Loki and I tried to plan on getting out of there. There was no way I could get out of there in my state. He couldn't apparate the both of us away yet and humans were forbidden in Asgard, so I couldn't go through the portal with him. One day, I overheard Ivan and Dr. Andrei talking about taking her from me that night, so I ran. I snuck out of the compound like I had many times before but it was harder in my weakened state. I made it to the cave hoping that Loki would be there but he wasn't. I built a fire and hoped he would come, but I went into labor."
Natasha paused for a few moments trying to bring herself back to the present before she continued. "Something was wrong though, I was just too weak. Dr. Andrei found me then, and I thought he was trying to help. He injected me with a paralytic and he... he cut her out of me, stitched me up, and ran. I don't know how, but I got up and hunted him down. I got her back but I didn't know what to do. I was so weak, near death, and the baby was sick already from the cold. An alert had went up back at the compound about my escape and the forest was crawling with men, their mission was to find the baby and I was a second priority. Andrei had already shot me and the blood trail was too easy to follow. I found a cave with two guards in it taking shelter from the blizzard, and I somehow managed to kill them. I had to freaking use their bodies as warmth just so Ksenia could live."
Bobbi cocked her head at the name, then realizing that was the baby's name.
"Loki finally found me and I forced him to take the baby, and leave me behind. I was ready to die if that meant saving her. I found out that he took her to Asgard, he broke the rules to save her and for that I could never repay him. She was so sick though, so sick. He wanted to get back to me, so he left Ksenia in the hands of Lady Sif. She cared for my baby and and I never knew until last week when Thor told me. I'm not sure what all happened up there but I do know that Sif risked her life to protect her. When Loki had handed her off to Sif, he came back to Earth but couldn't find me at the cave. Ivan's men had found me and they were taking me back to him. Loki intercepted and killed them, and then had to give me some kind of super adrenaline shot since I was almost dead, again. It got me to my feet but I was still so weak. He protected me until I realized that he was going to die for me. I couldn't let him do that, so I knocked him out and went to find Ivan myself, and kill him once and for all. Well I found him, but then discovered that he had some kind of super serum as well. It didn't matter in the end when I electrocuted him and then ripped his freaking head off."
"You ripped his head off?" Darcy asked, not hearing that particular part before.
"I did, and he was finally dead."
"Damn you are such a badass," Darcy said again hoping it would lighten the mood, but it didn't.
"When I got back to the courtyard, Loki was there, with Ksenia in his arms wrapped in a gold shawl. He wouldn't let me see her at first, so I knew something was wrong. When he did hand her to me, she was so tiny, and her entire little body shook every time she let out a little cough. I just, I had no idea what to do. Loki held me as I held her, and then she took her final breaths."
Darcy and Bobbi were on the edge of tears now as well.
"I begged Loki for him to kill me, but he wouldn't. I tried to do it myself, but I kept healing too fast. That's when Loki took the memories I had of him and of Ksenia. I forgot everything about her. I left the compound confused, not knowing what had happened to me. I joined the KGB and after that, SHIELD. I always knew that I had taken down the Red Room, but I never knew how or why I had done it until Loki gave me my memories back. She had brilliant purple eyes you know, Ksenia, the most beautiful shade you have ever seen. Loki took her then and buried her somewhere, I don't even know where. And that is why we are here. I just want answers, and I want to see where she is buried, but I have to find her grave first. I can't ask Loki again, he tried to kill me last time. And when he did, Thor remembered the baby with the beautiful eyes, and remembered that Sif had her and may know where she is buried. He went to Asgard to get her but there is some kind of war going on and he had to go find her first. That's why we are waiting, waiting for her to get here so I can finally know.
Tears we're falling down Natasha's face now.
"Natasha?" Darcy asked. "You're crying."
"I know I'm crying Darcy, it's what you do when you are emotional," Natasha said fiercely as she wiped them away, trying to push her emotions back.
"No, what I mean is you are crying, like, real tears and not ice tears."
Natasha brought her hand to her face and wiped the wet tears away.
Before Natasha could say anything though, Bobbi spoke up and shocked everyone.
"I miscarried."
Natasha and Darcy stared at her in confusion and waited for her to say...something. Maybe they misheard what she said? Miscarried?
Bobbi threw her head back and closed her eyes, glad to finally get that out. It had been building up inside her and it killed her to not be able to tell anyone.
"Um," Darcy tried to begin, "what?"
Bobbi's eyes remained closed as she let out a sigh of relief, but she didn't open them again or pick her head back up. "Sorry to ruin the moment, but if I didn't let that out now I don't think I ever would."
"Bobbi?" Natasha asked. She was actually feeling a little better now, the shock eased the torrent of emotions that was about to burst out.
Bobbi finally looked back up and tried to say something but the words wouldn't come.
"Last week, the shot to your torso," Natasha said matter of factly. "That's why you wouldn't let Jemma look at you."
Bobbi nodded. "I knew it was over the moment I got hit. I got a scan off the books at a sister facility right after though, that's where I discovered the broken and fractured ribs, and, you know," she said stating the obvious. "Hunter doesn't know, about anything really. I was going to tell him after the mission. It was going to be my last one but I slipped up." Tears started to brim her eyes but she didn't let them fall.
"Who wants a drink, my treat." Bobbi and Natasha both looked at Darcy like she had sprouted two heads after that remark, and then they started laughing.
No one knew why they were laughing, considering the words that had been spoken between these walls in the last hour, but it felt good. The group felt closer as understanding flowed between them. They were all broken, but maybe together they could make a whole piece of...something. No, it wouldn't be pretty, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
"I'll be back, there's a liquor store around the corner." Darcy left to get the drinks, Natasha went and let out her remaining sorrows in the shower, and Bobbi had the room to herself to try and find some closure. They would all need it for the days to come.