My love]] Ronnie Radke

Chapter Ninteen

  "What are you doing here?" I asked him. I walked right past him to the door.
  "I found your bag, I thought you might need it. It's got all your dance stuff in it." He said handing it to me.
  "Thanks." I said taking it from him and turning back to the door. I got the door unlocked and was getting ready to walk in.
  "Wait." He said.
  "What?" I asked.
  "Can we just talk for a minute, please?" He begged.
  "What for? We're done. There's nothing more to say." I told him.
  "Cassie. Please?" He said walking towards me.
  I shook my head, but I couldn't move.  I tried, but my feet weren't listening. "You have two minutes." I told him walking back onto the porch.
  "Look. I know I was an idiot." He started.
  "You think?" I said sarcastically. "Why would you do that? Do you have any idea what that did to me?" I asked him.
  "I know. I was jealous." He admitted. "Of Brad." He said looking away.
  "Seriously?  Why would you be jealous of him?" I asked.
  "You invited him. You wanted him there." He said.
  "I told you that he invited himself. I didn't want him there, he just showed up." I said raising my voice.
  "I know. I... he's going to be here when I'm not. I know he has a thing for you, and it worries me." He said.
  "Ronnie. I don't want him. I never did, even before you came back. I just.. I just wanted you." I told him.
  "I know you hate me. I know you want nothing to do with me. And I don't blame you." He said looking at his feet.
  "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. But I don't like you very much right now. I would never do something like that to you, ever. I wouldn't touch you one minute," I told him remembering the car ride. "And then be all over someone else the next." I told him.
  "I know and that's why I don't deserve you, I never did." He said running his hand through his hair. "Do you think you could ever forgive me?" He asked me.
  I looked away from him, I couldn't bare the sadness in his eyes. "I don't know." I said softly. "It was so easy for you to do that, what else have you done?" I asked, but I was afraid of his answer.
  "What are you talking about?" He asked.
  "Did she leave with you? Did you take her home with you?" I asked
  "What? Cassie, no. I can't believe your asking me this." He said exasperated.
  "Why not, Ronnie? It's not like you haven't had opportunities." I told him.
  I could see him clench his jaw, I knew he was getting pissed. "I have never cheated on you. Ever. Not once." He said raising his voice. "It pisses me off that you would even think that." He walked over to stand directly in front of me. "I have loved you from the moment I saw you again after I got out."
  I tried to move back away from him, but he caught my arms in his hands not letting me move. "I don't want anyone but you, Cassie." He said.
  "You have a funny way of showing it. I felt horrible that he showed up. I thought he just wanted to be friends. I knew you were mad, that you didn't want him there, and I was on my way to tell you how sorry I was for him  being there. Like it was my fault." I shook my head. "When I saw you with her," I had to stop talking for minute, I was trying so hard not to cry. I'm so emotional these days. "It broke my heart. It was like somebody knocked the air out of my lungs. I couldn't breath." I told him. He moved closer and cupped my face in his hand. I leaned into it, not knowing if I would ever feel his touch again. I looked back up at him. "I can't do this. I thought I could be with you again, I thought maybe this time would be different." I said.
  His arm tightened around me. "No, I'm not letting you go Cassie. I can't. You've always been the best part of me, I can't lose you. Not again." He told me. I saw tears glistening in his eyes.
  I hesitated, then I reached up and wiped a tear off of his face. "I'm sorry, Ronnie. I...." I couldn't finish. I got this wave of nausea that swept over me. I ran into house and straight into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I just made it, I kneeled down and everything that I have eaten the past day made its way out.
  I was in absolute misery. "Cassie." Ronnie said knocking on the door. "You ok, baby?" He asked.
  "I'm fine. Go away." I told him. He didn't listen. He walked in the bathroom and knelt down beside me holding my hair back and rubbing my back. I didn't want him to be sweet and loving. I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to hate him, it would be so much easier if I hated him.
   He grabbed a wash cloth, wet it, and rested it on the back of my neck. "You'll be alright, baby. Just breath." He said. When I was finally done I sat back my heels and looked at him. He took the wash cloth and gently wiped my face. "Come on. Let me get you to bed." He said pulling me to stand up. The next thing I knew was that I was in his arms and he was carrying me bridal style up to my room.
  "Ronnie. I can walk." I told him.
  "Just let me take care of you." He snapped. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. There was doubt about the fact that I loved being in his arms, being close to him. He laid me on the bed and began pulling off my leggings. Once he had them off, he pulled down the blankets and I crawled under them.
  "I'll be downstairs if you need me." He said kissing my forehead. I nodded. I watched him start to walk out of room.
  "Ronnie." He turned around and looked at me. "Would you stay here, with me?" I asked.
  He smiled and nodded his head. Once he got undressed, he crawled under the blankets and instantly reached for me. I laid my head on his chest and fell into a very restful sleep.