A/N: Is everyone okay after the last chapter? Are y'all still my sisters? Do I need to remind you (again) that this book will have a happy ending? I do? Okay.
This book will have a happy ending...with a few bumps before we get there. 😬
***Bea's POV
"Beatrice, wake up, Love," Harry quietly says and I feel something cool on my forehead that makes me flinch. "C'mon, Baby, wake up."
Taking in a breath, I open my eyes to the living room ceiling and I realize I'm lying on the couch. My head and feet are propped up on pillows and I notice Harry kneeling beside me in my peripheral vision. I exhale deeply, fitting my eyes to his and he sighs in relief, but he still looks miserable.
"Oh thank God," he blows out a heavy breath, dropping his head to my arm. "You're okay."
No, I'm not okay. My son is gone. I'll never be okay.
"How long was I out for?" I ask and he looks up at me with teary eyes.
"Almost three minutes," he says, dabbing the cool washcloth on my cheeks then my neck. "This was the longest you've been passed out for that I can remember. My God, Bea, you had me so scared. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you t-" he chokes back his tears, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Please don't ever leave me."
"I won't," I mutter, drying his tear with my thumb. "Where's Ferris?"
"Upstairs with April," he takes my hand and kisses my fingers, keeping teary eye contact with me. "Our parents should be here soon. Do you want to freshen up?"
I nod, exhaling a heavy breath and Harry helps me to sit up straight on the couch. My whole body feels numb, my heart is shattered and I close my eyes, still hoping that this isn't real; that this indescribable pain will go away.
But I know it won't ever go away.
The seat next to me dips and I open my eyes just as Harry wraps his arms around me, embracing me in a hug. His touch is warm and comforting and I'm still praying to whatever god out there that this isn't real.
Dropping my head to his shoulder, I wrap my arms around my husband and I'm overcome with guilt. This is all my fault because I should've checked on our son sooner. If I had, then he would still be here with us.
Our beautiful baby boy is gone because of me.
"I never thought this would happen to us, Bea. I'm supposed to protect you and our kids, and I failed as your husband a-and Seb's father."
"What?" I gasp, not believing what I just heard and I lean back. "It is not your fault, Harry," I firmly say, cupping his cheeks to make him look at me. "You didn't fail, okay?"
He nods, closing his eyes and he rests his forehead on mine.
"I'm the one who failed," I admit and he leans back, giving me a confused look. "We were having a good day. Ferris was happy and I was doing better than I thought I would with both kids. I fed him his bottle and Ferris helped me burp him. After I changed his diaper, he started crying and oh my God, I can still hear him, Harry."
"Shhh, it's okay, Love, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
Good, because you'll hate me if I do.
I can't control my sobs and I fall into Harry's arms, closing my eyes. He doesn't say anything, he just lets his arms and hands comfort me as he gently rocks us while we cry together.
"I don't have the answer for why he died, Love," he says, cupping my cheeks to bring me to look at him, "but the universe must have some fucked up reason why this had to happen."
"No, I want him back."
"Me too," he says with a kiss to my forehead and he gently pulls me into a hug.
The doorbell immediately followed by frantic knocking at the door interrupts our time together. We both exhale deeply, separating from our hug and he wipes the tears from my cheeks.
"Do you still want to freshen up?"
I shake my head because there's no point. Harry nods, tucking my hair behind my ear before getting up to walk to the front door. I wipe the old and fresh tears from my cheeks and I hear my mom's voice. I look over to see her and my dad hugging Harry and my eyes well up with tears again.
"Oh, Beatrice," my mom covers her mouth as she walks over to me and I hold out my arms. She hugs me as she moves to sit next to me and we both start crying. "I'm so so sorry."
I feel my dad's hand on my shoulder and I look up, blinking away my tears. His sad expression breaks my already broken heart and I extend my arm, inviting him in our hug as a family.
Just when I think I have my tears under control, I hear Anne and Gemma's voices and my husband cries out in anguish.
In a house that should be filled with love and laughter, my family is grieving over the loss of an innocent life and that little voice in my head reminds me that it's my fault.
My parents move to sit on the couch next to me and I hold out my arms for my mother-in-law as she walks over to me.
"Oh, sweetie, I just don't have any words," Anne mutters through her tears and she gives me a hug.
I can't talk; all I can do is nod and hold onto her that much tighter. I feel Gemma's hand on my shoulder and I move so she can join in our hug.
It's after we've all calmed down that we're quietly sitting in the living room. It seems as though we're at a loss for words, but I'm glad no one is talking. I don't feel like explaining what happened because there's no point.
It's not going to bring my son back.
After a while, my mom and Anne suggest making something for dinner and they head into the kitchen with my dad and Gemma.
"Do you think you can eat something, Love?" Harry asks, giving my hand a little squeeze and my stomach churns at the thought of food right now.
My son can't eat, so why should I?
"Not hungry," I mumble, resting my head on his shoulder and he kisses my head.
"Neither am I, if I'm being honest, but we should eat something. It's been a few hours and we need our strength," he says, gently nudging me to sit up. I reluctantly agree and he helps me stand up. "I'll bring Ferris down here so April can go home."
I nod, feeling the overwhelming need to hug my sweet girl, then I realize that I'll never be able to hug my baby boy ever again.
It's all because of you, Bea.
"I'll invite April to eat with us, but I don't think she will," Harry says, stopping us just before we walk into the kitchen. "Did you hear me, Love?" he asks softly and I nod. "You looked zoned out for a second. I don't want you to faint again, so let's get you settled at the table, yeah?"
"Okay," I sigh, feeling a tear roll down my cheek and he gently wipes it away before taking my hand in his.
We walk into the kitchen and Gemma and my dad are setting the table, my mom is carefully taking whatever dish they chose to heat out of the oven and Anne is washing her hands at the sink.
And I see them.
"Oh my God, no!"
"What? What is it, Love?" Harry asks and I shake my head, closing my eyes as I begin to cry. "Tell me, Beatrice."
"His bottles."
"Oh no, c'mere, Love," he wraps his arms around me and holds me close to his chest in a protective manner. "Mum, would you mind hiding them?"
"I can't do this, Harry, I can't," I gasp for breath, clutching at his shirt. "I-I want him back. Oh my God, I'm-"
"Bea, calm down or you're going to pass out," Harry warns and I start to feel dizzy. "Oh shit. Bruno, help me!"
And suddenly, everything becomes black.***
A/N: On a scale of 1 to a million, how proud are you of Harry?!
Much Love.
❤️❤️❤️❤️