(Harlow 26 weeks pregnant) (April 2040)
"So have you guys thought of any names for the baby?" Ronnie asked.
"A little bit. I'm leaning towards Travis Nathan. Nathan is my poppa's name and we found out about the baby at his cottage. Travis is Jeremy's older brothers name."
"I didn't know he had a brother." I nodded.
"He doesn't like to talk about it much. Travis died when we were kids from a drowning accident."
"That explains why he's so into being an EMT."
"Yea he used to blame himself and sometimes he still does."
"Well I think that's a great name for your little guy."
"Thank you." I smiled rubbing my hand over my belly. Little man gave me a nice kick to my ribs making me groan.
"Thanks bud." I sighed.
"So, can I ask how you're really doing?" She looked at me and I frowned. Honestly, I was struggling with this pregnancy.
"I don't know. I always knew Jeremy and I were going to have kids one day. When I lost the baby my world got turned upside down. I didn't even know I was pregnant and if I did, could I've done something to prevent it. Would I have a little girl or was it two boy's? I don't feel connected to the baby like I should. I love him but as his mother I should love him more than this world."
"I wish I could give you advice but I've never had a baby before. You're going to love him more than the world when he is in your arms finally. I'm sure you're not the first mother to think this way either."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Harlow I really think you need to talk to your mom and Jeremy."
"Jeremy doesn't get it."
"What about your mom?"
"I don't know." I sighed.
The door opened and I heard Jeremy set down his things. I sighed seeing him come into the room. Last night he was on call at the station.
"Hey Ronnie."
"Hey Jer, I'm going to get going."
"We'll talk later." She nodded and left the room. Jeremy came over giving me a kiss.
"You really need a shower."
"In a minute, how's my little man?"
"He's good, saying his daddy really needs a shower though."
"Rude."
He gave me another kiss before getting clothes and going to take a shower. Little man gave me another kick making me groan in pain.
"What is with all the hard kicks buddy?" I rubbed the spot where he kicked trying to calm him down.
"I'm sorry. Mommy loves you and it will be okay."
Jeremy came in and curled up to my side, placing his hand over the baby.
"He's playing soccer in there."
"Buddy we have to be nice to mommy remember." He kissed my belly, rubbing it. I looked at his face and saw a cut on his face.
"What happened?"
"A board fell, but I'm fine." I frowned rubbing my thumb over it.
"You should sleep."
"When are we going to your parents?"
"Not for a couple of hours." I kissed his forehead and ran my fingers through his hair. Jeremy is great and I really don't deserve him.
***
Last night we didn't get to my moms since I also ended up falling asleep with him.
"Happy birthday beautiful!" Jeremy smiled leaning down giving me a kiss.
"Thank you."
Today is my nineteenth birthday along with my mom's birthday.
"I can't believe I'm going to have a baby at nineteen." He frowned at me and I sighed.
"I'm sorry." He sounded hurt.
"Jeremy." I sighed.
"I'm sorry I got you pregnant so young."
"I didn't mean it like that." I groaned.
"Why don't you tell me what's going on with you?" He hissed at me. I pushed him away not wanting to be close to him.
"Nothing is going on with me."
"You do realize he is going to be here soon and we barely have anything for him."
"And that's not all my fault. It's not all on me just because I'm the one carrying him, I need your help."
"I'm here with you Harlow. I know I'm not here a lot but you know when you need something I will be there." He moved rubbing his hands down his face.
"I know."
"Then tell me what's going on?"
"I don't know what to do. I don't feel connected to the baby like I should." I said softly.
"So you don't want our baby?"
"I didn't say that." Baby Travis moved bringing my attention back to him.
"I'm sorry buddy, I will get you some food."
"Harlow."
"Let me eat so he can calm down." He nodded and I went into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. I sighed in content once I finally felt him settle again. Jeremy came in and sat down on the other side of me.
"Better?"
"Yea."
"What does this mean for us?" I frowned looking at him.
"Jeremy I need you."
"I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want our baby."
"I want him, he is our baby. I love him."
"Your still blaming yourself for what happened."
"Yes and no." Tears filled my eyes thinking about it.
***
"There's the birthday girl." Mom came over wrapping her arms around me.
"Happy birthday momma."
"Happy birthday baby." She pulled away and looked at my growing baby bump.
"How's my grandson?"
"He's doing good, playing soccer in there."
"You guys came up with a name right?"
"Travis Nathan." I smiled.
"I bet he can't wait to have some cake later." Colin came over wrapping his arms around me.
"Happy birthday sissy."
"Thanks bubba."
"Where's my best friend?"
"He should be coming."
"You didn't ride together?"
"No." I looked away and saw my little sister. I walked over wrapping my arms around her.
"Livey!" She quickly turned around, wrapping her arms around me the best she could.
"He's getting so big, I can barely wrap my arms around you."
"Thanks for the reminder that I'm getting fat."
"Shut up, you're not fat just pregnant." I sighed rubbing my belly. My dad came over pulling me into a hug before I went to sit on the couch. More of family showed up but Jeremy still wasn't here.
"Least I have you Trav." I whispered to him. I was with all my family but yet I feel so alone. Yes a lot of them have had babies but none of them lost a baby in a way I have. No one knows what I'm going through besides Jeremy. We lost our baby but there is so much more to it than that.
"Sorry I'm late." Jeremy came in giving my mom a hug before coming over to me. Jeremy sat down but I didn't move to curl up to him.
"Time for cake." Jeremy got back up, pulling me up into his arms.
"I'm sorry."
"Not now." I pulled away and went over to my mom. She smiled wrapping her arm around me shoulder.
"Nineteen years ago I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. At that time I didn't even realize it was my birthday. You were laying on my chest and Sophia and Nana told me happy birthday. I'm so glad I get to share this day with you."
"Me too." We wiped each other's eyes as everyone started singing happy birthday. I sighed as we blew out the candles and everyone clapped. My mom let me go and went over to dad while Jeremy pulled me to him.
"Happy birthday beautiful." He kissed my temple as I leaned into him. I turned my head and leaned up kissing his lips.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
(Jeremy's pov)
I had Harlow curled up to me sleeping. I kissed her forehead before looking at Colin. Travis gave her a nice kick making us both rub her belly.
"I can't believe you two are going to be parents." Colin said.
"I know it's crazy, he's going to be here so soon."
"Jeremy, you should take her to bed." Ellie said and I nodded.
"Come on let's get you to bed." I whispered to her and she nodded. I helped her up and went to her room. She pulled away from me and curled up on the bed.
"I'm going back downstairs, that okay?" She nodded and I gave her a kiss before heading downstairs. Ellie was curled up with Declan while Colin was in the chair. I walked over sitting at the other end of the couch.
"Are you two okay?" Ellie asked.
"Yea, we just got into this morning. I'm honestly getting worried about it. Ellie, I really think you need to talk to her as mother to mother. Maybe that will help her."
"I will tomorrow."
We finished the movie then all went up to bed. I curled up to Harlow bringing her close to me. I placed my hand on her belly feeling our little man make slight movements.
"Love you little man, sleep tight." I rubbed her belly, before kissing her shoulder.
"Love you Harlow." I held her close trying to take the pain away.
I woke up to her face pushed into my neck and her belly pressed into my side. Her shirt was up a little showing off her beautiful bump. I know she probably feels gross but honestly she even more beautiful now. Seeing her belly grow with our baby is so amazing.
"What are you smiling about?" She said in her sexy sleepy voice.
"Just how amazing you are."
"I'm not that amazing. I'm fat and gross."
"Baby that's only what you see. I see just how beautiful you are. I love your body so much." She turned, pressing her lips to mine. I pulled closer, pushing my self against her. There was a knock on the door making me pull away from her.
"Food is on the table."
"We'll be down in a minute." I moved pressing my forehead to hers.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too." I gave her a kiss before we went downstairs. Hopefully things are getting better after today.