A/N: This chapter had a different title until recently.
***Bea's POV
"I'm hungry, Mommy," Ferris says as we walk into the living room and I hear her little tummy rumble.
I have to admit that I'm hungry also. The salad I had earlier was good but it wasn't filling. Throughout the years, I've noticed their portions have gotten smaller but their prices have stayed the same.
Those cheapos.
"I'm hungry, Mommy," Ferris draws out the 'e' as she tugs on my pants and I laugh with a snort.
"Me too, sweet girl," I smile as I drop my overnight bag by the couch and we make our way into the kitchen. It dawns on me that Harry won't be able to eat his chicken sandwich and French fries since he's sick and I'm practically salivating over the thought of it. "Let's have some French fries, yeah?"
"Yeah! I love French fries, Mommy," Ferris says before tootling ahead of me.
I turn on the light even though it's in the middle of the afternoon because the storm clouds are still blanketing the sky. It's raining and gloomy and the perfect day to stay at home. The only thing that would make it better is if Harry weren't sick so we could cuddle.
God, I wish I could cuddle him right now. I need his cuddles.
"Mommy, I said I love French fries," my hungry daughter pulls me out of my thoughts and I nearly have a heart attack.
"Ferris, don't climb on that!" I rush over to where she's hanging onto the seat of her high chair. I wrap my hands around her torso and squint in pain as I lower her to the floor. "You could fall and get hurt and Mommy would be sad."
Ferris says a quiet 'oh' and I come up with a solution that I know will be a hit.
"Would you like to eat at the big girl table?" I ask and she can't contain her excitement. "I'll take that as a 'yes.' Okay, let's wash our hands first."
Ferris nods and we walk over to the sink. She's too short to reach and I can't pick her up, so I come up with the next best thing.
"Hold out your hands, please," I kindly tell her while pumping some soap in my hands.
I turn on the faucet and rub my hands under the stream to lather them up. Cupping my hands, I turn to Ferris and rub her hands between mine, not even caring if it's a stupid idea. Her smile is the only thing that matters right now.
As I rinse my hands, I remind myself that I'm doing the best that I can and that's all I can do.
"Look! Bubbles, Mommy," Ferris giggles and I look down as she claps her hands, causing a few bubbles to float away. "They're so cute!"
I agree with my sweet girl as I bring some water to her hands, giving her a big smile as I praise her for being a big girl.
After I dry our hands, we walk over to the table and with my unseen help, Ferris climbs onto one of the dining chairs and proudly sits like a big girl.
"Okay, here we go," I sing-song as I push her chair in and she giggles. I take the food from the bag and sit down next to my daughter. I open the carton and spill the French fries in the empty portion and smile, "Some for Ferris and some for Mommy."
"But where's Dadda and, and, and Baby Brother?" Ferris asks before shoving a small fry in her mouth.
"Baby Brother is sleeping in his room, and Dadda is sick, so he's sleeping too," I explain and she worriedly looks up at me as she chews. "Oh, Dadda will be okay. I gave him some medicine to feel better."
My sweet girl nods and reaches for another fry and we continue to eat our fun snack together.
After a few minutes, my belly is satisfied and I clean up our mess. I hand my big girl helper the baby monitor and grab my phone. Letting out a satisfied breath, I turn out the kitchen light and we head back into the living room.
As Ferris trots in front of me, I shake my head with a smile, wondering if that girl even knows how to 'just walk.' I approach the living room and something by the front door catches my attention.
"What's that?" I wonder out loud and I remember it's the new dolly that Harry bought for Ferris.
I can just imagine him at the store going over every detail of the dolly, keeping our daughter's preferences in mind. I can also see him just grabbing the first one he saw. Either way, my sweet husband has earned Dadda Points and Wife Points.
And in six weeks...Sex Points.
Aw man, that seems like forever. Hopefully it will go by fast. That's right, stay positive, Bea. It's five-and-half now technically.
With some struggle, I bend over and pick up the bag, letting out a little air from down below as I stand back up. Thankfully Ferris is too busy playing with the baby monitor on the couch to notice and I hurry out of the stinky foyer.
I walk over to the couch and center my donut pillow on the cushion before sitting down and I let out an even louder puff of air.
And Ferris giggles hysterically.
God, that's embarrassing.
"Oops! Mommy tooted," I giggle with her as I open the bag.
"You're silly, Mommy," Ferris points at me before sticking her finger in her mouth.
"Yep, that's me, alright," I roll my eyes into a smile, nonchalantly fanning the pungent air away. "I'm your silly, stinky Mommy." As soon as I can breathe again, I look in the bag and gasp, "Oh, Ferris, look what Dadda got you!" I tear off the tag and hold up the brand new dolly with a pink dress and she squeals. "Do you like her?"
"I love her, Mommy!" Ferris exclaims, letting the baby monitor fall to the cushion and she takes the dolly. "Hi, Dolly!"
She hugs her and starts talking to her before examining its features. Her expression is just too precious that I have to take a picture.
And I know it will cheer Harry up.
"Lemme take a picture of you and your new dolly, yeah?" I ask, already getting my phone because it's going to happen. I click on the Camera button and center her in the frame, "Say cheese!"
Ferris Emelia Styles, the spitting image of her father, smiles her dimpled smile as she holds onto her new dolly. I tell her how pretty it is and turn my phone around to show her, per my little diva's request then her attention is back on her dolly.
I tuck my phone in my pocket and realize I don't have to subject myself to the purple dinosaur since Ferris is preoccupied with her new dolly. I silently rejoice as I reach for the remote on the coffee table and turn on the set.
I change it to the classical piano music channel, hoping it will relax me for what I have to do next. I reach for the bag next to my feet and I accidently let out another puff of wind, but Ferris is too busy to notice.
Dear God! What did I eat today? Holy moly.
I take out the breast pump and set it next to me on the side table, sighing in frustration. It's a good thing I have to be strong for Ferris because I feel like crying and screaming right now.
And it would be nice if I could hit something.
It's both maddening and depressing that I can't give this milk to Sebastian or breastfeed him, but I can't do a darn thing about it.
I just have to pull my big girl panties up and get through it.
The twenty minutes fly by with me being entertained by the great classical pianists and Ferris' jibber jabber, but my smile quickly fades when I realize what I have to do next.
"C'mon, sweet girl. Follow Mommy, please."
As I walk into the kitchen, I hear Ferris skipping behind me, giggling and talking to her dolly. She's happy while I'm holding onto two full bottles and trying not to cry.
With Ferris standing next to me by the sink, I pour my toxic milk down the drain, feeling a few tears roll down my cheeks.
"Why are you crying, Mommy?" my compassionate girl asks and I wipe my cheeks on my sleeve before looking at her.
"I'm okay," I nod with a fake smile. "What did you name your new dolly?"
"Um, um, Dolly!" she proudly says, holding her up.
"That's a pretty name, Ferris," I say as I rinse out the bottles, "but not as pretty as yours."
She grins up at me before skipping over to the table and I shake my head with a smile and begin preparing Sebastian's bottle.
While the bottle warms, I go ahead and heat up some chicken noodle soup for Harry. He hasn't texted me that he's hungry, but it's been a couple of hours. He's never had much of an appetite when he's been sick but I know the broth will be good for him.
After a few minutes, I have Sebastian's bottle, Harry's soup and a glass of orange juice on a serving tray.
"Ferris, would you like to help Mommy check on Baby Brother?" I ask, setting a spoon and a few napkins on the serving tray.
"Yeah! I help," she says excitedly and I hear a splat immediately followed by her crying.
My heart drops to my stomach and I look over to see that she has fallen from the dining chair onto her tummy.
My baby!
"It's okay, Ferris, you're okay," I say as calmly as possible, walking over to her. "You're okay, sweet girl. C'mere."
Ferris stands up and leans into my leg, crying her little heart out and I wrap my arms around her. While soothing her back, I tell her how much I love her and what a big girl she is, all the while trying to hold myself together.
I hate it when she gets hurt.
"Let Mommy see, please," I gently brush her curls back before examining her face and I sigh in relief. "Ferris is okay, yay! Gimme a high five."
She sniffs, letting out a few more cries as she unenthusiastically high fives me. I reach for her dolly that had fallen with her, thanking God that she didn't bust her lip or break her nose.
"Look, Ferris, Dolly is okay, too," I give her a big smile and she takes her dolly, immediately sticking her thumb in her mouth. "Let's go check on Baby Brother, yeah?"
Ferris nods and I gently wipe away a crocodile tear.
"That's my big girl."***
A/N: I appreciate and love all of you more than I can express.
Pssst...Harry will be in the next chapter. I think it's a cute one. I hope you'll like it.
Much Love.
❤️❤️❤️❤️