28.CHAPTER
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Hey, my lovely choco babies, I hope you have all enjoyed the story so far, I am still not sure of far it will go on but I will just continue writing until I am completely satisfied with it. One more thing, I know that you guys love my stories and that you all worry about me when I am MIA. Truthfully it fills my heart with joy when I read your messages and comments on each chapter of every book, but I would like to say that sometimes I am unable to update, most of the time its due to school and work and how busy I become. Most of the time I am unable to have a sit down to edit some of the chapters that I write, so I am begging you all to please have lots and lots and lots and lots of patience with me and the updates because I always try to make up for it whenever I get enough time so you all can enjoy 3 to 5 chapters of a story.
I thank you all beforehand my babies, love ya :D
Zion's Point of View:
Hours have passed since we had those sessions of mind blowing sex and I can't sleep, no matter how sleepy I am and how many times I close my eyes, I just can't sleep and I know why; even if I want to ignore the reason, I'm just not able to. Every time I close my eyes I can't stop the image of him mouthing the words 'I love you' over and over again like a mantra as he took my body in a way he never did before, he didn't use to make love.... No, he didn't use to have sex with me like he did earlier, this was completely different than any other time, not even our first time was like this. Our first time was rather wild, hot and lustful. We are both very passionate people and back then we were always hungry for each other, so whenever we had sex, it was rough, hard, wildly passionate and filled with a love and lust combination, that left me completely sated and with delicious aches and pains all over my body for days after.
When he took me earlier, it was like a jolt to my system, it was such a complete difference that it had me reeling; it was a special blend of slow, deep, leisurely passionate and dare I say love making as he slid in and out of me over and over again. He was gentle beyond belief with my body, every touch, caress and thrust was as if he wanted me to feel him all the way to my core and feel him I did, I was shaken with the intensity of the act yet at the same time my body and mind was unable to fully accept what was happening to me. This was such a difference that it even took me a while to begin enjoying the new pace that he choose to drive me insane.
At first I didn't want to enjoy or give in to his gentle yet deep invasion of my body, I tried to fight against it, God knows I tried, I wanted him to take me like he always did, my body and mind wanted the hard, rough sex I am use to but he denied me it over and over again, even when I begged him he still denied me. Rather he focused on wreaking havoc within my being in such a slow gentle manner that I couldn't take it without feeling like I was going to be sucked into a vortex of complete and utter ecstasy; I felt that way from the moment he began kissing at my C-section and all the stretch marks adorning my stomach, I know that they are not very pleasing to the eyes and I also know that they are not what people want to see when looking at a naked body but as he kissed and licked one mark after the other while gazing up at me with a look of tenderness and lust, I was immediately forced to rethink my assumption. His kisses were almost reverent in the way he slowly placed them on my skin and his gaze held wonderment and admiration as he gazed down at me.
I could tell that he was trying to conjure up an image of me being pregnant, he seemed humbled by the idea of me being completely filled with his child and he expressed it over and over again with every tender skin searing kiss and lick placed on my stomach. He continue like that for what seemed like eternity, he kissed, licked and sucked at my skin, going from my stomach up to my neck, then further up to my ears to finally slide down to my lips where he passionately took my mouth in a delicate kiss while his hands slowly roamed every inch of my flesh in his reach, his passion was controlled yet rampant at the same time, it was pretty clear that he was holding him back and I could not understand why until he whisper his intent to me ever so fervently, even now I shudder as I hear his whispered words, "Let me love you baby, just for tonight please let me love you", after that plea I could not deny him any longer, I just closed my eyes and let myself go.
Once I did and gave myself over to his care, I was rapidly dragged into a passion induce state of mind where pleasure and ecstasy collided and merge into one. I felt everything; every single touch, every single kiss, every single thrust of his body inside of mine as he took me to heights I never knew existed. It all produced such powerful undiscovered sensations in my body, that I was left bonelessly breathless and wanting for more, those sensations were all so new to me and soon I couldn't get enough, soon I was addicted to it and soon I was craving the slow, deliberate thrust of his hips, his wondering hands and the soft brush of his lips against my skin like I've never craved anything before, it all just took my breath away.
He played my body like a master violinist, taking me higher and higher and higher still until I exploded into millions of tiny little pieces that he picked up and put back together, to then do the same again and again. I was left shaken after that long episode, in fact I am still very much shaken up, unable to close my eyes without remembering everything that happened. I knew that coming to his room was a bad idea and I knew that I should have left when my mind screamed at me to leave but for some reason I just could not move, even though I knew I was going to regret it all later I could not push him away.
Now, hours has passed and my common sense has returned I want nothing more than to get up and run away yet at the same time an invisible force is holding me back and a voice inside of my head is telling me to stay, also his muscular arm is wrap around my middle, so that could be what is keeping me here too, the man has our body practically plastered together as if molded into one, his peaceful sleeping face is resting on the pillow besides mines and his free hand is otherwise occupied, resting possessively on my hip. Wiggling a bit I try to move away from him but instinctively his arm and hand tightens, pulling my body even closer than before. Sighing I give up, I don't need him awake now when my body and mind are in a turmoil, so I may as well just lay still and try to get some sleep.
Closing my eyes, I try once again to call the elusive sleep god but yet once again after what seems to be an hour he didn't answer, so I am giving up, "Sh!t" I mumble lowly as I once again try to move away from my captor and once again I am pulled back against him, I roll my eyes and decide to settle in for good this time. As my body slowly relax, my mind is slowly being invaded by the past... our past. Every time I am with him my mind just can't seems to help itself and before I know it, what happened in the days leading up to our breakup begins to replay inside of my head, with the replay comes questions, questions that needs to be addressed and answered, I want to know the answer to all the 'Whys' yet still I don't want to ask the questions, rather my mind just wanders around trying to somehow understand what happened.
I just seems to can't figure out, why everything was excellent one moment and a train wreck the next.
I can clearly remember how happy and excited he was about my birthday, as a matter of fact, he wanted to make a huge party of the whole thing, I had to convince him otherwise because I missed him and wanted us to spend more time together after the trip; he was so happy and excited when he called me early that morning to sing and wished me a 'Happy Birthday', it was almost child-like, I had even remarked on his behavior, he just brushed it off while telling me to go to my door, just outside stood his driver and another man that I didn't know, both of their hands fully occupied.
The driver was holding up or trying to hold up one of the biggest stuffed animal I had ever seen, the thing was humongous, it was even bigger than I am, to top it off, it was fat, fluffy and totally plushy, instantly I wanted to wrap my arms around it and cuddle with it for days, it just looked so soft and cute and it was a turtle my favorite animal, he knew that and somehow got me one that could barely fit through my door, I was so happy with it that I barely saw the two baskets in the other man's hand. The driver and the other guy whose name was Walter walked in and set everything down in my living room and I had immediately jumped on the turtle, he was just as soft as I had imagined, I had even forgotten that I was on the phone with him until he spoke, asking me if I had like the gift, to which I squealed a loud 'Yes'.
He had burst out laughing and apologized for not being there to deliver them to me in person because he was still on the plane, two hours away, he sounded sadden by that fact but I had quickly assured him that it was fine and that I loved his gift and that we was going to be together later to celebrate just the two of us. He had instantly perked up and told me that he had a surprise for me and that he hoped I was going to love it, I had nagged him over and over to get him to tell but he just laughed while being adamant in his refusal. After minutes of me nagging, he finally said that it was something better said in person, I then begrudgingly gave up saying that I was going to wait until later. He was pleased by my answer and the conversation soon turned towards him asking about my job, my family, if I had missed him, if I was ready for him and so on.
We had talked for over an hour as I dug through the gift baskets he send while lying on the soft plushy back of my gift turtle, everything was normal, there was no signs of cause for alarm of no kind, he was his usual sexual, loving, teasing self, so therefore I cannot for the life of me explain what happened later.
Yes I did noticed a slight change in him when I got to his room, he was quiet and seemed very distracted about something, he also looked very tired but I had assumed that it was due to jet-lag or exhaustion from the long trip, plus I was so happy to see him that I paid no mind to the heavy tension swirling around in the room. He did seemed stressed and was even hesitant at first when I walked over to kiss and greet him but as soon as I hugged him, whispering 'I love you' he had held onto me so tight that I thought I was going to break, he responded to my kiss with a fierceness that both frightened and thrilled me, I didn't questioned it though, I just let myself be taken over by his dominating passion, trying my best to make him feel better. I was so naive back then and so much in love that I would have done any and everything to make him feel better.
Soon after our kiss began, he relaxed in my arms and had proceeded to then make love or rather, to fucked me into oblivion, thereafter he had ripped out my heart, stomped on it until it was a bleeding-bloody mess on the floor. Those thoughts always came back to me from time to time during the years after, though not with as much frequency as they do now and always I would get filled with a full blown hatred towards him and nothing more, yet right now there is a difference, yes I do feel anger and hate but its not as consuming as it use to be and also it is now plagued by the 'Why's' that have not stopped popping up inside of my head after what happened earlier and I can help but wonder...... "Baby are you ok?" A sleep thick voice whisper in my ear dragging me back from memory lane.
Without facing him I answer, "I'm fine Dmitry thanks for asking. Why do you ask?" he sigh softly, his breath tickling my ear, "I ask because you've been tossing and turning for a while now.... Do you want to leave?" his question came out just as softly as the earlier sigh, I really want to say yes but there is something holding me back... Shit... I just can't get the look on his face when he was mouthing 'I love you' out of my head, "I just really need to go to the bathroom, that's all" immediately his body relaxed and his arms loosen, "You should have woken me up" he whisper near my ear again before kissing the side of my neck, I flinch as his mouth graze over a very sore spot where he had bitten earlier, he must have taken it the wrong way and immediately let go of me, I felt bereft as his warm body slip away but I tap it down with a "Thank you" before sliding of the bed.
I quickly wrap my askew robe around my body and made my way to the bathroom as fast as I could without even looking over at him, especially after I felt a warm, thick liquid seeping out and down between my nether cheeks and down my legs, mortification fills me but I play it off while noiselessly slipping into his master bath, once inside the mastery that is his en-suite I quickly shed off the robe and jump into the shower stall, turning the water on blast, to rain down on my body, fortunately the water warm almost instantly so I didn't freeze to death. I wash my body over and over, making sure that most of his semen is clean out. Thank God for my dad or I would have been freaking out by now, he came so many times inside of me that I am sure if my dad hadn't given me those estrogen blocker pills I would have been pregnant again.
I have been taking them from the moment I decided to bend to Dmitry's demands, I take two pill a day, they help block the over production of estrogen in my body and stops me from ovulating while not affecting my overall sex drive and at the same time not allowing me to get pregnant. Storm and dad swear by the pills and have been testing my estrogen level from the moment I began taking them and I have to say that they have been working, my estrogen is where it's supposed to be, I dare say that it's even lower than the level of estrogen in regular men, so it's all good. I for one am happy with those results, because there is just no way I can bring another child into this messed up situation. I do want to have another child, as a matter of fact I want two (2) more kids but this is not the right time for another baby to come. I really don't need to be tied to Dmitry any more than I am already.
"Baby, are you ok in there?" the knocks and his voice pulls me back to reality, my heart skips a beat as he once again call me 'Baby', dammit! I can't let him get to me, not now nor ever, if I slip and get caught up into his web, I will once again fall hard and deep and I cannot go through that again, there is just no way I can allow him to have that magnitude of power over me ever again. Once was enough for me to learn my lesson and I learn it well. Taking a deep breath I shake off the heated sensations the deep velvety caress of his voice invoke inside of me and answer, "Everything is fine, I'm just taking a shower, I will be out soon" silence reign after my answer and I thought that he had gone back to bed until, "Ok. Take your time", for some reason he sounded hurt but I am not sure if that's the case so I just continue my shower until I am sufficiently clean.
Once out of the shower stall I quickly dry my body and wrap the robe around me once again before slipping into the coolness of his spacious room. I gasp when I step out, he is already there with my pajamas in his right hand stretch out towards me, "You can leave if you want" he says coldly; for a moment I am taken aback by his attitude "What?" I ask, he sigh, "I said, you can leave now if you want, as a matter of fact I would prefer that you leave now seeing that you can't seems to stomach my scent or touch on your body" I look up at him as he has just lost his mind, "Dmitry, why do you always assume things?", "Zion your actions alone were a dead giveaway, you couldn't sleep, you were tossing and turning around in bed and you were trying to move away from me every single second that passed and just as I slacken my arms a bit you rushed away like bats from hell, going straight for the showers to wash me off your skin, so I don't think that I assumed anything".
Pulling the clothes from his hand I hurriedly dress and walk over to the door before turning to him, "Dmitry first of all, be thankful that I am too tired to fight or argue with you right now or I would have given you a piece of my mind, second for your information I rushed to take a shower because I was, sweaty and sticky and I am not talking about regular sticky, I am talking about the type of sticky that made the sheets stick to my skin, I was uncomfortable and needed a shower that's all there was to it. So why are you trying to make this into a big deal?" he gaze at me for what seems an eternity before, "So you weren't going to go back to your room after the shower?" I roll my eyes as a sigh leave my lips, "No I wasn't but now I am. Good night", I turn away from him and walk out of his room.
Gosh! What is wrong with him? Here I was, about to break my rule of not sleeping with him after sex, while he makes a big deal out of a stupid shower, a stupid shower... well he can forget about me staying in bed with him after sex from now on. I had only taken a third step when suddenly I am lifted up of the floor, I manage to hold in my gasp of fright because I know who it is but that did not stop my heart from pounding away in my chest, "Dmitry put me down, I am not a child for you to try carrying me around and seriously it's too late for this" he only hug me tighter burying his face in my neck, "Sorry, I am really sorry. Come back to bed with me" I sigh, reaching back without a second thought to rub his head soothingly as if he was a child while wiggling around for a bit until he place me back on my feet, then I turn to him, "Dmitry, let's just leave it here for now ok. It will bring us no good if we wake everyone up this early" he seems like he wants to argue but he holds back, only nodding at me, "Ok baby, have a good night or rather good morning, see you later" he leans down to kiss my lips softly and without a second thought I kiss him back.
Immediately it seems that my response broke a dam, his dam of restraining. Soon he is groaning and deepening the kiss while tracing his tongue over my lips in his want for entrance, an entrance that is quickly granted without resistance, he moans deep into my mouth at my surrender and I answer back with a whimper of my own as his tongue and mouth reduce me to a whimpering mess. I really don't know for how long we stood there kissing and touching each other, time just stood still as we lost ourselves in the moment, all I know is that when he was done wrecking my sanity, I found myself hoist up against a wall, pajama top open and falling off both shoulders, trembling and panting breathlessly with my legs wrap around his waist and my c*ck once again hard and twitching within its confinement.
He is not faring better than I am right now, he is equally breathlessness and equally arouse; I can feel his thick heated flesh jerking and moving under my a$$ and I can't hold back the helpless pleasurable moan bursting from my lips as he thrust up against me while burying his face once again into the side of my neck, nothing is being said, the only sound in the deserted hallway is our combine breathless breathing, he just stands there still, holding me up against the wall, breathing hot breath on the sensitive flesh of my neck and shoulder, I quiver and his arms tightens even more around my body before they slowly begin to loosen up and slowly begin to let me down until both my feet are firmly planted on the cool wooden floor.
He then lifts my chin and gaze down at me with unreadable emotions swirling around in the depths of his smoky gray eyes, "What is it?" I ask, he look away for a bit before landing those eyes on me again, "Are you still going to see Hunts later today?" I sigh, stepping away from him, "Yes Dmitry, I am going to see him", "Why?" he ask stepping towards me, "Because it's the best thing to do in this situation, there is no use in putting it off, it's better to let him know that there can't be anything between us for the moment because avoiding him like one would avoid the plague won't do the trick, besides I couldn't do that to him, Jacob is a decent guy and he has always treated me with respect, so I owe him the same courtesy" his fist clench at his side yet all he do is nod at my response, saying "Very well then, have fun and good night" before walking away.
His whole demeanor seems calm but I know better, I know that he doesn't want me to meet up with Jacob and he is mad about it, but at the same time my mom is right, it's better to let Jacob know that there can't be anything between us right off the bat or it could get messy and right now, messy is not something I want to be caught up in, I have too much drama already, it would be stupid of me to add even more to my already full plate, so it's best to lay out my cards and be straight with Jacob before it creates even more problems. With men like Jacob the only answer you can give is a clear answer, if there is even a slight bit of wavering on my part he will assume that I am not serious and will continue to pursue me.
Sighing I run my hands over my face before slowly making my way to my bedroom, once inside I walk over to my bed and fall face first into its soft firmness, groaning as pain zigzag its way from my legs up to my back with throbbing intensity that had me wanting to stop all movement but I choose to ignore the sudden onset of pain and continue on, crawling the rest of the way to the middle of the bed before flopping down and pulling the thick blanket over me.
Love and kisses to all of my babies, *muax, muax* xoxoxoxo ^_^