50k
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Bless your souls omg. Thank you 💗
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I wake up with my head throbbing. I roll over and hear my back crack.
That's what I get for sleeping on the ground.
I totally passed out after crying my eyes out for hours. Didn't even make to the bed so I can sleep properly.
I stand up and slowly make my way to the bed and flop down. The tension in my muscles releases and I reach for my phone. I click the home button and I'm met with an empty screen.
The time- 12:36 in the afternoon.
I groan. Not only do I have Aiden on my mind- the tears slowly make their way back but I push them aside. But I also have to go to work today, it being Monday and all.
Fabulous.
---
I stand up and applaud at the girls. I check the time to see they finished just on schedule.
2:30pm
He doesn't leave till 7
Get him out of my head! He's leaving and he's not coming back until a long. Long time.
We need to start getting used to being alone again. I think back to the walls I built three years ago.
God I hope I can rebuild them.
I rush over to the dressing rooms and see all of the girls getting dressed out of their costumes.
"Great show ladies. I'm extremely proud of every single one of you." I smile as they clap their hands and I leave them to finish getting dressed. So this show ended early- what am I going to do now.
Go home. Eat. Watch Netflix. I mean you do it everyday it's a routine.
True.
---
I go to the living room to watch tv there.
I can't stop myself from looking at the time 5:37pm...in an hour he'll already be on the plane.
No texts. No calls. Nothing. I can't fight back the tears as they slowly escape. My heart feels heavy in my chest yet at the same time so empty.
He took all of me. Because all of me belonged to him.
A sob breaks my lips and I grab the tissues. Does it even hurt him? Even a little? I know I may sound selfish for wanting him to stay.. but I just thought he would have fought a little harder for us.
For me.
After everything we had I wasn't enough.
Don't think like that he needs to go. It's his life. It's his career. We would do the same thing. Wouldn't we?
But that's the thing. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be strong enough to leave him. I'd rather have no job, no money, no house, I would give up everything for him. As long as I have him, I have already everything I can wish for. As long as I have Aiden Parker..
I'm truly happy.
Another sob comes out of me and I clutch the pillow hard.
The door bell rings catching me off guard.
I get up slowly and walk towards the door. My heart beat races and my fingers tingle with nerves.
I twist the door knob and open it slowly.
"Mr. grump?" I whisper. I wipe my tears and frown. "What are you doing here?" I speak clearing my throat.
"Well" he stops and examines my face. "I was making dinner and accidentally poured too much pasta. I don't want all of it to go to waste."
He stops and smiles, "would you like some?"
I grin slightly, "come on in. I'll set the table." He hands me the bowl with foil on top and with his cane in the other hand wobbles inside my home.
I walk to the kitchen and grab two plates and glasses, silverware and some napkins.
"Wine?" I question
"Oh yes please." He replies as he takes a seat
"Smells amazing by the way." I pour the pasta out on the plates and bring it over to where he is seated. I like this, it's a good distraction.
"So you gonna tell me why your crying?"
Oh great.
"I just uh.. I was just stressed out. Life and all." I chuckle lightly and he stares at me.
"It's about that one fella the one you love.. isn't?"
I stop eating and gulp.
"Yes."
He drops his fork. "What did that bastard do to you this time huh?"
I giggle slightly at his sudden outburst. "Nothing nothing.." I pause and take a deep breath. "He's leaving to Australia today. For eleven months." I take another bite of the pasta and chew slowly.
His face scrunches up, "well he's an idiot!"
I burst out into fits of giggles, watching an old man get angry over Aiden is quite something.
"And whys that mr. Grump?"
"Because. He thinks that running away will solve all his problems. That it'll be better. He's just scared. Trust me." He takes a bite out of his pasta and stares out into space in deep thought.
"What do you mean?"
He takes a sip of his wine and sets it down. "Back in the day when I was your age. I met someone."
My full attention goes to him suddenly intrigued about his past.
"Her name was Alice." He stops talking and gulps. "She was the love of my life that Alice. Was the most beautiful girl.. she had this laugh." He smiles, "I still remember it to this day."
I smile at him but my eyes hold sadness.
"She was lovely that Alice. She was kind, and always spoke her mind.. She was bold and different, she feared nothing... you remind me of her now that I think out of it." His eyes stare into mine and I see his blue ones widen. I look at him puzzled.
"She had brown eyes just like you.. and they were filled with curiosity about the world." His grin fades away and he takes another sip of wine.
"If you don't mind me asking but.. what happened?"
"I let her go." He breathes out.
"She told me she felt the same. She told me she loved me. But I still let her go."
"But why?" I question.
"Because I thought she deserved better." He looks at me with a pained expression and I sit there quietly.
"You see Alice and I were young and in love. What we had was special I know that. But I also knew she desired things that I couldn't give her."
"Like what?"
"A family." He looks at me and I see a tear roll down his cheek. My eyes water at the sight.
"I wasn't able to give her that. So I pushed myself away. Even though she came back.. I couldn't let myself be with her because I knew that she would never be happy." He stops. "Well at least that's what I thought. You see Alice still wanted me. She still wanted me." He points to himself and laughs.
"Out of every man chasing after her that could give her so much more she still chose me." He smiles, "she still chose the geeky nerd."
I gasp softly at his word choice, "So you chose her back?"
"Well of course. After she yelled at me for thinking such nonsense about leaving her, because I thought she would want a family and I couldn't give her it, I finally realized I was enough."
I smile. "So then what?"
"So then it was just us two. For a long time." He chuckles. "We moved in that house right over there 1996 after traveling the world together."
I stare at him in awe. "Must have been amazing. Seeing the world with your one true love.."
"It was." He stops and stares at his empty wine glass. "But it ended far too soon."
"1998 Alice passed away from cancer."
My heart stops beating and I feel the tears pour out again. "Oh my god." I whisper.
He grabs my hands. "Listen to me kid. As soon as you moved in here I hated your guts." He stops and laughs. "I disliked you so much because you're her."
"I'm her?"
"You are Alice! You with those comebacks and the snappy attitude and the bold remarks. With those beautiful brown eyes." He stops and pushes his plate aside "Point is, I didn't want to get close to you. It hurt too much but now I've embraced it. Looking at you sends me back in time to when I would be young and in love and for that I'm thankful."
I grin, "well you're welcome."
"So the point of this now kiddo is I want you to just know that.. he's stupid. He's going to make mistakes. We all are. But love is love. It'll find a way back to you."
"Oh don't tell me you believe in that fantasy thing too." I roll my eyes slightly as I put the dishes away.
He chuckles, "look all I'm saying is that love knows what it's doing."
"Yeah it's putting me through hell." I laugh.
He places a hand on mine, "if you're going through hell.. keep going kiddo."
---
I wave at mr. Grump as he walks into his house. I step back into mine and shut the door. I look at the time.
6:25pm
I bite my lip. I reach for my car keys and walk back outside closing and locking the door behind me.
I get into my car and drive.
It's night time and I have nowhere to go.
But I know that right now I'd rather be nowhere then home.
---
Until the next
V&C
❤️