I carefully rest Rosie down in her crib and walk out of the room as quietly as I can. She's such a light sleeper, even someone down the road closing their car door wakes her up in a fuss. It really doesn't help that not even five minutes into her first nap of the day, four very loud, very obnoxious boys stomp their way into my flat, shouting and laughing at each other and slamming the door shit behind them.
It's no surprise that the baby monitor next to me starts blaring out the 4 month old baby's cries almost instantly.
"I've told you guys so many damn times to walk in silently and close the door quietly! Do any of you ever listen? No!" I hiss in a huff and start back down the hall to her room.
"Sorry!" John shouts after me - as Rosie's father, he should have known better, especially since he was the one who slammed the door shut!
I look over my shoulder with a death glare at my old hook up buddy, "Shut up!" Rosie was a surprise baby. We were both surprised, to say the least.
After spending another 20 minutes calming her down and putting her back to sleep, I slip out of the room extra quietly and go back to the living room. John, Nate, Dillon and Derek had made themselves comfortable on the sofas, each with a plate of my food on their laps and a can of my Fanta each. None of them live here but they act like they do. When they notice me behind them, they turn around and I can instantly tell that they have something to tell me.
I sit down on the fluffy rug in front of them. "Do you think you can keep quiet whilst you're here and she's asleep?" They nod their heads, their mouths too preoccupied with crisp sandwiches to actually tell me yes. "If any of you wake her up, you're getting her back to sleep."
"Is she sleeping okay lately?" John asks after he finishes his mouthful. "I know you said last week she wasn't."
"She's sleeping but only for an hour or two at a time, she'll wake up to any noise in the night. I can't even go to the bathroom without her crying or whining."
Nates face breaks into a small smile, "Aw, she's a mommys girl, how cute."
I shake my head, "No, she's just needy." She'll be a lot more independent when she's older, I can already tell. But for now, she's got me to cater to her every want and need.
Derek stuffs a handful of crisps into his mouth right before he asks, "If she's not a mommys girl, is she a daddy's girl?" He better not do that around Rosie when she's older, she needs good manners.
"Nope, I don't think she even likes John that much to be honest."
Yep, every time tries John cuddles or feed or do anything with Rosie, she squirms away from him. He tries not to act like it effects him but I can tell that he's upset by it. He never really got the chance to bond with her the first week of her life and he always seems to come around when she's asleep. She's never spent a night at his place simply because that's their hangout place, that's where they smoke and I don't want her being in that environment.
"She knows he's her daddy but she prefers me doing everything for her." One day she'll let him.
Maybe.
"Anyway, what did you guys come over here for? Other than to steal my food."
Dillon, being the only one without a mouthful, answers my question. "We were gunna ask if you're coming to Skates party tonight."
"You couldn't have asked me over text or called me?" I live 30 minutes away from any of these guys, and that's without traffic.
"Well, Johnny boy wanted to see his daughter and we all wanted food, so what's the point of us wasting money on food and him wasting gas coming out here by himself. We made it a road trip."
Of course they didn't want to spend money on food, they eat mine and expect me to just let them. "You lot are constantly eating my bloody food, I'm left having to ration on apples and toast every time you come round." I need to be eating well if I'm breastfeeding my daughter and surviving on apples, bread and butter for up to 4 days before I get paid is a right pain in the ass. "But to answer your question, no, I am not going to Skates party tonight."
"Y/N!" Nate frowns and drops the crusts of his sandwich on the plate. "You have to come! It won't be the same without you!"
"It'll be just like your last party I wasn't at," I brush it off, they had a party I didn't go to on New Year's Eve, they were fine without me then. "You'll survive."
"But it's my birthday!"
"You used to come out with us all the time!"
"Why are you being such a downer? You were so fun last year!"
John didn't say any of that, it's kind of his fault I don't go out anymore. He was the one who thought it would be fine to use an expired condom and didn't tell me until I found out I was pregnant.
"I have a baby now! I'm a mum! I have an entire person who needs me to look after them!"
Frowns take over all of the boys faces, like they've only just realised what I just said. I think they think that because John gets as pissed as a stick and as high as a tree whilst being a father that I'll be able to do it too.
But, no. John isn't our child's full time carer, he's just her carer whenever he can be bothered to come around.
"Why can't you ask one of your friends to look after the baby?"
I can't stop myself from rolling my eyes, why can't they understand that my baby is still a newborn and I need to be with her and I'm breastfeeding and I can't drink alcohol and they know I don't like being anywhere near any kind of drugs. "Because, believe it or not, all of my friends are all of your guys' friends and all of them will be at your party tonight."
"What about your family?"
"All of her family are in England, dumbass." John answers for me, why are these guys so clueless all of a sudden? None of them have ever met my family because my family live in a different country, in a continent. "I want you to go, Y/N, you need to have some fun once in a while," I don't know whether to take that as an insult or not. "But I don't want Rosie left with a stranger, so, I'm willing to let you go tonight and I'll look after her."
Oh.
John wants to miss his best friends birthday so I can go without worrying about my baby being left with someone I don't know? And so he can spend some one on one time with her?
This is new. Really new.
I really don't know what to say. I'm touched, I am, but Skate is Johns best friend, I can't let him ditch him just so I can go out and sit in a corner and watch people get drunk.
I've matured now that I'm a mum, I'm breastfeeding my baby, therefore I can't drink alcohol until she's finished nursing, and honestly? I don't feel like going out. I'd rather sit on my sofa with my baby, in my tracksuit and watch the Kardashians.
That's my idea of fun now.
So that's exactly what I tell the boys. And their voices started to get louder, and louder, and louder, loud enough that Rosie started screaming and crying. They woke her up and they ate my food so it was definitely time to kick them out of my flat.
John wanted to try and help me out with the baby, which failed because she always refuses to calm down when she's in his arms, so the boys waited downstairs in the car for him to come down.
I don't think they realised that I wasn't joking when I said that Rosie really doesn't like John that much.
"Hold her right up against your chest." I sigh after nearly 7 minutes of Rosie wailing in her fathers arms. "She's not going to settle down if you're holding her as far away as you possibly can."
"She squirms away whenever I try to hold her properly though."
I roll my eyes at him, "No, she squirms because you can't hold her properly." I reach out and gently push his arms up to his chest. "Maybe you should try with your shirt off."
"Why?"
"So she can feel your heartbeat against your chest and she'll start to bond better with you."
Almost instantly, Rosie is back in my arms and Johns shirt is discarded on the floor. She's taken away from me and practically shoved against her fathers chest.
She stopped whining.
She stopped moving completely, she stopped whining and moaning and cuddled up into Johns chest. A huge smile made its way onto his face.
"This is possibly the best feeling ever, He grins, his eyes not leaving his daughters face. This is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. "Maybe if I never have a shirt on around her, she'll prefer me to you."
I can't help but laugh, "You think she's gunna let you hold her like that when she's a teenager?" He must've forgotten that babies grow up and get to the ages we just passed.
Oh, I just cannot wait for those days.
Sike.
"Oh shit, yeah, I forgot." Of course. "But seriously though, I want to build a really strong bond with her now because she's my daughter, you know? I love her to pieces and even though I won't be around every day and I'll be across the country sometimes, I want her to know that I'm just a phone call away. No matter how old she is."
"She knows, J, she loves you too."