The whole time Lady Sif cared for baby Ksenia, she couldn't stop worrying about her. Where had Loki gotten her from? She was a mortal child, but her eyes were not that of any mortal she had ever seen. As the early morning sunlight filtered in, the purple in her eyes just seemed to shine.
As Sif stared at the beautiful little girl, she started coughing again.
"Oh dear child, it's alright, you are safe and cared for." This baby was seriously sick and it pained her that she was such a fierce warrior but she couldn't even protect the baby from this sickness.
When the baby stopped coughing, she wrapped it tighter in the golden blanket and walked her around the room to keep her calm. She had no idea how to care for a baby but this just seemed natural to her. Loki could not have stolen her. He was connected to this child's mother somehow and the worry he had in his eyes when he handed her over was too real.
It wasn't too long after getting lost in her thoughts that she heard a pounding at her door. She laid Ksenia in the middle of her bed and gently covered her, thankful that she had finally fallen asleep.
She cracked her door and peered out to find six guards waiting for her. She slipped out of her room and closed the door behind her. She stood protectively in front of it and put on her bravest face.
Lady Sif, we have been ordered to search your chambers.
"Search my chambers for what?" she asked the lead guard Elsviarn.
"You have been accused of harboring a Midgardian child, what have you say about that," he asked with a sneer.
This was the guard she had sparred with not too long ago, and won. He was trying to get a rise out of her.
"What proof have you?" she asked a little more defensively. The healers must have reported her, they were the only ones who knew about the matter.
"We have proof enough, now stand aside." Elsviarn tried pushing her to the side but her hand caught the guards arm.
Their eyes locked and their bodies tensed. Elsviarn turned toward his fellow guards and gave a nod, allowing them to move in to remove Sif from barring the door. Instead of letting them, she took on the challenge. The child would surely be killed by Odin's orders if she was found.
She tightened her grip on the guards arm and twisted it as she swung around it. The immense strain on the arm made the guard groan. She then kicked him in the chest as she did at their recent spar and sent him to the ground and sliding across the hall. The other guards all tried laying their hands on her but with her small frame, she easily dodged them and sent them sprawling back with their fellow guard.
Lady Sif then slipped back into her room and locked it. She the hurriedly made a sling to hold Ksenia and went to grab her. The baby was still sleeping wrapped in the gold shawl so she gently picked her up and placed her in the sling so that she would be able to use her hands if she had to.
Leaving through the door was out of the question so that only left the window. The only way out was about sixteen stories down. She had to make it to Heimdall to get Ksenia out of Asgard. She only hoped that since Loki got here with the child, she would be allowed to leave with it.
Hugging Ksenia close, she stepped onto the ledge and then began her climb down. As a child, she always loved the twisting green vines that grew up the castle walls. Right now though, she was even more thankful since it gave her hand and footholds to allow her a safer way down.
Sif was now more afraid than she had ever been in her life, even in battles. Just the idea of something happening to an innocent child terrified her. Hearing the guards knock the door to her chambers down, she hurried her pace and climbed down faster.
The shouting from the guards above stopped when she made it about halfway down. They would make it to the ground level before she got there; she was trapped. She was about to panic until a hand grabbed her from an open window and began dragging her into the room. The sudden jerk caused her to instinctively let go of her handhold and hug the baby closer to her body as to protect her.
She landed in strong muscular arms and she was then immediately stood upright with a hand over her mouth. The man then closed the shutters to the window with his free arm, encasing them in darkness and then let her go. Sif stood frozen in her spot while using her arms to protect Ksenia from whatever was about to happen.
A candle was then lit and she saw who it was. She let out a sigh of relief when Thor hurried around his room and lit more candles. Castle rooms were extremely dark when closed off to the sunlight.
Thor then rushed back over to her and worriedly pushed her hair out of her face.
"Lady Sif, what is going on? There has been an order placed to bring you in. What have you done?"
Thor was genuinely worried. He was one of her most trusted friends and she knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
Before Sif could answer, Ksenia chose that moment to begin her fitful crying again.
Surprising Thor, he took a small step back before coming forward and pulling the sling back. A tiny hand had escaped the gold shawl and Thor gasped. He pulled back the rest of it and revealed the baby girl.
"Sif where..."
"Thor I can explain, it's not what you think."
"What do you think it is that I think?" he asked in his usual goofy way. This is what made Sif fall for him years back.
"Never mind, the less you know the better."
Ksenia began coughing again and worry became etched across his face.
"It is sick."
"Yes Thor, she is. I have to get her back to Lok... the man who brought her to me."
"I will help you. What part of the castle?"
"That's the problem Thor, she isn't from here. She is of Midgard."
Ksenia then opened her eyes and the brilliant purple instantly made Thor fall for her.
"Are you sure Sif, her eyes..."
"I know, they are unusual. She needs to get back to her mother, I fear that she will not make it too much longer."
"Healers, what about the healers? They could help her."
"I have already tried that, they are the ones who turned me in, and besides, it is a mortal sickness"
Thor looked deep in thought.
"Stay here, I have an idea." He barely finished his sentence before he was already out of the room.
Sif had never been in Thors chambers before. She had always expected it to be messy but it was actually clean. His bed was even made. She walked over to it and sat down with Ksenia still in the sling, hoping that her body heat would keep the child's chills away.
As she waited for Thors return, she couldn't help but let her mind wander some more about the baby. What had happed that would have made Loki take the baby. It had to have been bad, it looked like she had just been born.
She wasn't sure how long she had been daydreaming but as soon as Thor came back, she was on her feet in an instant.
"Everything has been taken care of. I went to the healers and explained to them that it was all a test from me, as Odin's son to evaluate whether they would follow the laws no matter what emotions they would be feeling. I told them the baby had been enchanted to seem like a Midgardian. The guards have been informed that this has been a test though they are still skeptical. Did you engage them Lady Sif?"
"I did, they wanted into my chambers but Ksenia was in there and they were going to take her. I was not going to allow that to happen."
"Sif! Well, a ladies chambers are sacred so I guess they will understand. Well, Elsviarn may not, I know how much you both despise each other. He asked why you fled but I told him it was part of the test."
"Thank you Thor, really. You saved my life today. I would love to stay and chat but I need to get her home, she is very sick and I think her mother needs to see her as soon as she can."
"Yes, I'll escort you to Heimdall. Keep her hidden though."
With that they set off. They avoided as many people as they could and made it to the bridge with no problems. Once across, Heimdall stood guard, just as he had done for thousands of years. When he saw Sif, he knew Loki had gone to her. He allowed Sif to pass, but denied Thor entry to the portal.
Thor knew not to question Heimdall so he just watched from the entrance as Heimdall instructed Sif on what to do. What surprised Thor though was when Heimdall peered into Sif's sling to look at the baby. His lips moved as if he were saying a quick prayer and then abruptly stepped back as the portal started up.
Within seconds, Sif and the baby were gone and he was left alone with the golden clad god.
"I do not know what is going on, but thank you Heimdall for allowing her to go."
Heimdall looked him dead in the eye and said, "That child is special Thor. Everything must be done to keep her safe."
"Special in what way? She is a mortal child, and I fear that she is dying..."
Thor hadn't even finished his rebuttal when Heimdall walked to the back of the room to peer at the stars. He took this as a sign to leave.
XXXXXX
When Sif made it to earth, the portal had melted its way to the ground through a deep layer of snow. It was dark here, though from the storm or time of say she did not know. Sif had never been to Midgard before so this was all new. The snow sent a shiver through her body as she checked on Ksenia. She was awake but seemed as if she was in a daze. Ksenia didn't have too much longer.
As the wind whipped around her, she worriedly called out for Loki. Sif didn't know where she was supposed to go to find him. He could be in danger right now and she wouldn't even know it. Her warrior instincts began to kick in and she decided to set out on the clearest path. She only hoped that it was the right direction.
She hadn't made it too far when she heard her name called.
"Sif! Sif what are you doing here!"
It was Loki. He was about to summon a portal when he saw Sif's portal come down in the distance. He had decided to head off towards her, hoping that she had come down with good news, though he was doubtful. Sif was not a rule breaker and as far as he knew would never travel to Midgard without a good reason.
Loki reached the portal site within minutes and saw that she was not there. She had set off not too long before since he could sense her near. Following his instincts through the snow, he saw her right up ahead and called out to her.
The relief on her face was overwhelming. She ran up to him and pressed her body to his. This action surprised Loki since they were not that close as friends. In fact, he though she kind of hated him most of the time. Realization hit him though when he felt a small bump in between them. She was trying to keep Ksenia warm.
He wrapped Sif in his arms but Sif then pulled back.
"Loki, you're cold. You aren't putting out any warmth, are you okay?"
Confused, Loki brushed it off. "What are you doing here Sif? I thought I told you that I would return to fetch her.
"I know Loki, but I panicked, the guards found out she was there and came after her. I only escaped because of Thor. He smoothed out the situation but..." she trailed off.
"But what Sif?" he asked with the concern of a worried father.
"The baby, she's dying."
Sif watch as all of the color drained from Loki's face. A tear even escaped his eye. Reaching out, he pulled the sling back to see the ashen color of Ksenia's face.
Loki then took her from the sling and tucked her into his coat to protect her from the icy shards that were biting at them all.
"Go home Sif, I don't know how I could ever repay you for all of your help."
Sif nodded and then made her way back to where the portal had set her down. Loki had to do whatever it was on his own.
XXXXXX
Loki made it the short way back to Natalia just as the explosion went off behind her. For a moment, he worried that the flames had gotten her, but they hadn't.
Natalia looked up to see Loki standing before her with Ksenia wrapped up in his arms.
She felt her entire body glow and she took an eager step forward to see her daughter again. Loki gathered the bundle closer and took a step back.
"Natalia wait..." he said hesitantly.
Natalia stopped dead in her tracks. "What is it Loki, let me see her."
"There is something you need to know first," he said as he cradled Ksenia in his arms.
"Loki, is she... is she okay?"
The look on his face told her everything she needed to know...
She dropped to her knees as they no longer supported her. Loki came forward and kneeled with her, pushing the gold bundle into her arms. She looked at the sweet face that peered up at her. Even though Ksenia was at deaths doorstep, her brilliant eyes sparkled against ashen skin. She let out a faint cough and it broke Natalia's heart. The little girl she held in her arms was minutes away from leaving her world.
Natalia brought her face up against Ksenia's as Loki shielded them from the biting wind. Loki could faintly hear soothing sounds coming from Natalia as she sang her daughter a lullaby. No one moved for minutes until Loki felt Natalia's body tense up and heard her whisper one last time.
"Goodbye, my Malenkaya."
Natalia choked on her last words to her daughter. The emotions taking over her body were some of the strongest that she had ever felt in her entire life. They were crushing her body and she felt as if she were dying. The pain she felt was not like any she had experienced before. It was a million times worse than being burned by fire and she would gladly trade what she was feeling now for all the tortures she had endured simultaneously. She grasped at her chest as sobs finally broke free. Her daughter was gone, she had taken her last breath in the cruel world.
Loki reached out for the bundle in her arms but Natalia wouldn't let go.
"Natalia, you have to let go, she's gone."
Natalia looked up at him with hurt written all over her face. Hurt mixed with anger danced across her features as she kneeled in front of him.
"Kill me," she said
Loki looked at her in horror. "Natalia no. You are finally free to live your life, you don't have to run anymore."
"How can I live in this world knowing that people like them exist? I have nothing left to live for."
Loki looked hurt. "You have me, Natalia. Stay for me."
Tears flowed from her eyes again. "Death follows me Loki. Kill me, or I'll do it myself."
Looking dead in her eyes, he responded with a firm "no."
He expected her to give up, or at least shred some sort of emotion. What he didn't expect was for her to slip a knife out of her boot and slide it across her throat,
"Natalia nooooooo!" He lunged for the knife and got it away from her, but not before the damage was done. Dropping the knife, he held his hands around her throat to stop the bleeding and felt a chill go through his body as she smiled at him.
"Don't you dare leave me Natalia, I finally found something to keep me sane in this world and I will not lose you!" The bleeding slowed as he put pressure on the cut and the smile on her face soon turned into a frown.
It was Loki who realized it first, she was still healing faster than normal due to the adrenaline still in her system. The cut across her neck sealed itself and the scar faded. Loki caught her arm as it reached for the knife again and forced her to drop it.
"You are going to keep trying aren't you," Loki asked with a deep sadness.
He was met with a look of pure determination. She started crying again while still holding the bundle in her arms. Loki held her close as he thought about a plan.
"Natalia, I...I can take the pain away." This was the hardest decision he had ever made in his life.
"What do you mean, you said you wouldn't kill me."
"I can take you memories, everything that you have endured so that you can live."
"Do it," she said without hesitation.
"Natalia, you won't remember Ksenia or anything that has happened since you found out you were carrying her. You will not remember me, or any of our late night conversations, or our dreams we shared... It will take it all."
"I'm sorry Loki, please," she begged, and Natalia never begged.
Loki knew he had to do it, no matter how much it hurt him. It would be cruel to allow her to live with these memories. And if didn't take them, she would one day succeed in killing herself and it would be all his fault. He couldn't live without her, and because he loved her, he would do this.
Loki placed a hand on each side of her temple and then closed his eyes as he felt the energy surge from his body. He felt his consciousness leave his body and entwine with hers. Exploring her mind, he carefully drew away the parts of her mind that she wanted gone. She was carrying around much more hurt than he could have ever imagined. Her mind was a dark place, the lighter spots which was supposed to be peace was eerily diluted. As he delved further though, he found just a spot of brilliant white. Curiosity got the best of him and he prodded at it. He gasped when he saw himself in there. The happiest and most peaceful parts of her life were when he was around. He immersed himself in her emotions, a sob escaping his throat as he felt what she felt. Another emotion then pulled him out of the happiest and most beautiful place he had ever seen. He was encased in a deep blue and felt as if his heart was about to be pulled from his chest. It was what she was feeling right at this moment and it hurt like a pain he hadn't ever felt before. Not giving it another moments thought, he grabbed onto it and pulled. Gathering everything he needed, he struggle to get away from the hold of the pain and ripped his way out of her mind. There was no gentler way to take memories.
The force he had to use to rip from her mind knocked her back and into unconsciousness. She lay in the snow, still holding onto Ksenia. Not able to bear it any longer, he got up and took the baby from her mother.
He left Natalia then, it was the last time he would ever see her for years. The tears on his face froze before they could hit the ground. Either that or they were already solid before they left the tear ducts. He felt his soul darken as he made his way into the forest and away from the compound to bury the baby.
After placing her in a box he scavenged from a truck, he placed her inside with the gold blanket and closed the lid. He lowered her into the ground and piled rocks on top. When the deed was done, he vowed to never again let any mortal take anything away from him ever again. To do this, he knew he needed to succeed his father and take the throne after him. He needed power, and nothing would stop him from getting it. He would one day rule Midgard and everyone would fear him.
Loki couldn't stand to be there one more second. Natalia was gone, Ksenia was gone, and a part of his soul was gone. He summoned the portal and ascended back to Asgard.
XXXXXX
Insanely curious, a man watching the entire past hour between Natalia and Loki emerged from the bushes to see what it was this... this god, had buried. He was sent by HYDRA when communications started to fail from the Red Room complex to find out all he could, and report it back to headquarters.
The man kept thinking that it was a child that was buried by the way the two had been holding it. He knew that woman he saw was the Black Widow, she was a legend. Could this be her child? Was it even possible?
He placed the stones aside and after a while, he found the box. Gently lifting the lid, he saw a small bundle wrapped in the most beautiful golden blanket he had ever seen. Pulling it back, he discovered that it indeed was a child, and it was no longer living.
He lifted the child from the box and held his ear to its chest. She couldn't have been gone for more than half an hour. Placing his hand on her tiny chest, he sent a surge of power into her. He smiled when he felt her heart start again. Another few minutes and the baby's eyes opened. The man gasped when he saw the prettiest shade of purple look up at him.
There was something special about this child and he couldn't bring himself to turn it in to headquarters. No one even knew that the Black Widow had a child, so who would ever find out? He and his wife recently lost a baby, he was sure she wouldn't say no to taking this one in and raising it as their own.
The baby girl started to cry due to the cold and the man wrapped her back up. He placed the lid back on the box and placed it back in the hole, covering it with stones again. Retreating into the woods again to return home, he was giddy with happiness at the thought of being a father again.