Avengers Texts

By unchartedoceans

161K 8.3K 9.4K

Steve the Frisbee Grandpa, Tony the Internet Troll, Mom Natasha, Caps Lock Army Thor, and much more Here is... More

Part 1: A Group Chat Is Born
Part 2: Tony... Why...
Part 3: Civil War
Part 4: Talk To Text (Tweet Chirp CAW)
Part 5: Brother Of Mine
Part 6: Caps Lock
Part 7: Kitten
Part 8: Tony's Bar
Part 9: Pop tarts
Part 10: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Part 11: Toast and Tony the Jerk
Part 12: Fury-ous About Glitter
Part 13: #Swag, yo (Natasha to Steve)
Part 15: Tony. No.
Part 16: Believe It Or Not
Part 17, Tony to Steve: Trees
Part 18: Thor's Fabulous Hair
Part 19: Baes and Rooftops
Part 20: Time For You All To Hate Me :)
Part 21: Tony to Bruce: Thou Sticky Fingered Weasel Butt
Part 22: Texting and Flying
Part 23, Bucky to Steve: General Confusion and Overall Mayhem
Part 24, Steve to Natasha: It's Almost Christmas! (a.k.a Stress)
Part 25: Steve's Butt, As Discussed By Maria and Natasha. And Occasionally Tony.
Part 26, Tony to Natasha: Sleep Deprived Insanity
1K VIEWS
Part 27: That Guy From Target
Part 28: I Tried To Name This But It's Really Just Complete Chaos, So... Yeah.
Part 30: False Accusations and a Very, VERY Drunk Bird.
Part 31: Julian From Target 2k16 (the Avengers OTP Club is Formed)
Part 32: Thor Discovers Disney + I add a gazillion new characters to this
Part 33: Spider Disgrace and Cinderella
Part 34: Discussing Spiderman's Butt
Part 35: The Flu
Part 36: The Pros and Cons of a Pet
The 56 Avengers Cats
Part 38: This Might As Well Be Amazon.com
Part 39: Emergency Discussion
Part 40: Shh, No More Tears
Part 41, Thor to Tony: Mystical Forces of... Lawnmowers?
Part 42: 100 of Thor's Notes About Earth
Part 43: I MUST COMPLETELY DEMOLISH THE 4TH WALL
Part 45: 50 More Life Rules For Thor (And A Referenced Event)
A HECKIN' 50K READS
Part 46: It's Time To Talk About Cheese
Part 47: Natasha Finds a New Child
Part 48: Science Is Cool
Part 49: All Of The Sweaters
Part 50: Stop Monkeying Around
Part 51, Tony, Steve, and Peter: Warning- Plums and Puns Ahead
Part 52: Battle of the Magical Fairy Princes
Wanda the Mystical
Part 53: Trash Panda
Part 54: New Phone Who Dis
Part 55 (Natasha, Tony, and Steve): You're Dead and I'm Fabulous
The End

Part 29: Giant Moths and Lots and Lots of Silver

2.3K 134 82
By unchartedoceans

Natasha: OH MY GOD TONY WHERE ARE YOU 

Tony: Buying as much silver as possible. 

Steve: ... Why, may I ask? 

Tony: Well... 

Steve: Um. 

Tony: To protect myself against werewolves. 

Steve: ... 

Steve: What? 

Bruce: Tony, werewolves don't exist. 

Tony: THEY EXIST 

Bruce: You're being a little bit unreasonable. 

Tony: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I KNOW 

Steve: Well, I do know that you've apparently gone crazy. 

Natasha: Nerd. 

Steve: Are you talking to me or Tony...? 

Natasha: Originally just Tony, but hey, why not. Both of you. Nerds. 

Clint: Tony, you still there? 

Clint: Tony? 

Clint: Um 

Bruce: What did you do to him? 

Steve: What? 

Bruce: He's hiding under my bed again. 

Natasha: Mwahahaha. 

Bruce: NATASHA 

Natasha: Yes? 

Bruce: What did you do. 

Natasha: Nooooothing 

Steve: OOOOOOH 

Steve: IS IT 

Steve: IS IT THE THING 

Natasha: Yes, yes it is. Shh. 

Steve: Got it. 

Thor: THE MAN OF IRON HAS FLED TO ME SEEKING REFUGE 

Thor: WHAT SHALL I DO 

Bruce: I don't know. 

Steve: Feed him a poptart and pat him on the head. 

Clint: Make him build you a new cell phone without a caps lock function. 

Natasha: Kick him out a window. 

Bruce: That went from 1 to 100 REALLY fast. 

Natasha: Git rekt. 

Tony: DON'T HURT MEEEEE 

Natasha: I REFUSE 

Steve: Natasha, no. 

Natasha: Natasha, yes. 

Thor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 

Tony: I'M GOING TO DIE 

Bruce: What is going on?! 

Steve: Damn it, Natasha. 

Natasha: Mwahahaha 

Clint: I'm really confused, so I think that I'll go back to my nest now. 

Natasha: Clint, I need your help. 

Clint: MY NEST, THO 

Natasha: I'LL TEXT YOU IN A PRIVATE TEXT JUST A MOMENT 

Steve: What are you doing, Natasha? 

Thor: SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

Steve: Whatever it is, just smite it. 

Thor: IT IS STANDING ON MY PRECIOUS POPTARTS 

Steve: Oh my God, Thor. It's not the end of the world. 

Thor: THE WORLD IS COLLAPSING AROUND ME 

Steve: Stahp 

Thor: THERE IS NO REASON TO CONTINUE MY EXISTENCE 

Steve: STAHP 

Thor: EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS 

Steve: Thor, do you realize how much you're overreacting? 

Tony: HELP ME, THERE'S A WEREWOLF IN MY ROOM AND THOR'S ROCKING BACK IN FORTH IN A BALL ON THE FLOOR, SOBBING 

Bruce: I don't think I really WANT to do anything right now. It sounds a little bit weird. 

Steve: You can turn into the Hulk, and you think that THAT'S weird?! 

Bruce: A god is crying on the floor because a werewolf stepped on his poptart's, and a multibillionare is sitting a pile of silver and wailing like a small child. 

Steve: Ah. I see what you mean. 

Steve: And Tony IS a small child. 

Tony: DISRESPECT 

Tony: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 

Tony: THERE'S A BIRD 

Tony: MOTH 

Tony: THING 

Tony: HELP 

Tony: IT ISN'T AFRAID OF THE SILVER 

Steve: What? 

Bruce: There's a giance moth in your room? 

Tony: WHY WON'T YOU GUYS BELIEVE ME 

Natasha: Seriously, a giant moth? That's stupid. 

Steve: Natasha what did you do. 

Natasha: I didn't do anything. 

Bruce: Natasha. 

Natasha: Seriously, I didn't actually do anything! 

Steve: We all know that you're extremely good at lying. 

Natasha: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR 

Steve: Yes. 

Natasha: HISSSSSSSSSSSSS 

Tony: MOTH 

Fury: ALL OF YOU 

Fury: WHY DID A GIANT MOTH JUST BREAK INTO MY OFFICE A FEW MINUTES AGO 

Clint: I have no idea. 

Fury: BARTON, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU 

Clint: Nowhere...? 

Natasha: Dude, you need to learn how to lie. 

Fury: TELL ME THAT YOU DID NOT JUST DRESS AS A GIANT MOTH AND BREAK INTO MY OFFICE 

Tony: THE MOTH IS TEXTING 

Clint: No I'm not 

Clint: I MEAN 

Clint: NO IT'S NOT 

Clint: IT, I MEANT IT 

Fury: BARTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Natasha: CLINT 

Clint: IT WAS YOUR IDEA 

Natasha: HUSH 

Steve: Oh my god. 

Clint: DON'T KILL ME PLEASE 

Fury: THAT'S IT 

-Fury has left the chat- 

Clint: Wait, what? 

Clint: OH NO 

Clint: DON'T GTFRHGJKJHGYHBGBHYU 

-Clint has left the chat- 

Bruce: Oh dear. 

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