I wake up with Leah still in the same position as we fell asleep, with her head on my chest. I kiss her head and she slowly wakes up "morning baby" "good morning my love" "what time is it?" I look at my phone "10am" "did Xander sleep all night?" "He did" "and he's still asleep?" "He is" "oh my god ha ha yes!" "I know my love it's amazing" "your amazing last night was amazing our family is amazing my life is amazing." I squeeze Leah "you know my love you leave for international break in a week and we need to tell Xander" "I know but I'm going to be gone for the full 6 weeks holidays what if he thinks I've left him" "he won't baby I won't ever let him think that plus we will FaceTime everyday you can and he will be at every match I promise my love" "I don't deserve you Chris I really don't." I sit up and look Leah straight in her eyes "hey don't you ever say anything like that and I mean it Leah I love you so much I could never put it into words where has this come from?" "I don't know I'm going to miss yous" "we will miss you more my love, how about we get Xander up and I will cook us a special breakfast and we tell Xander and we make this week special?" "Can I get Xander up?" "Of course my love I will see you both downstairs" I get up giving Leah a kiss and get ready before going downstairs.
I'm making breakfast when Xander comes running downstairs "mummy I sleep all night." I pick him up giving him a kiss "you did baby well done and you look so much happier and not like a grumpy boy this morning" I start making grumpy faces and Xander laughs. Leah walks in the kitchen "aren't we full of giggles this morning?" "Mama, mummy making gwumpy face" "yeah because you're not a grumpy boy this morning." We continue talking until breakfast is cooked and Leah helps me plate up and put it on the table. There is a knock on the door so Leah goes and gets it and I cut up Xanders breakfast so it cools faster "fank you mummy" "mummy?" I know that voice without even turning around "no bleeping way!" I turn around and stand up giving Georgie a hug "what are you doing here? How are you here?" "I messaged Leah to see if yous were still together" "I'm insulted that you thought we wouldn't be" "what Leah never mentioned was this little man here" "oh yeah this is our son I tell you what there is food on the bench make yourself a plate up and join us" "is that alright Leah?" "Of course Georgie."
Georgie joins us "so little man what's your name?" Xander stops eating and looks at Georgie "my mummy was a soldier and my mama weally weally stwong" Georgie laughs "I know your mummy was a soldier that's how I know her because I'm a soldier." Xanders eyes go wide and I can see he is excited "you mummy fwiend?" "I am so if I'm mummy's friend does that mean I get to know your name?" Xander looks at me and I nod "my name Xander Taylor Williamson, mummy say I not wobinson anymore and never again" "well hello Xander Taylor Williamson I'm Georgie it's nice to meet you." Xander continues eating "how are you doing Georgie?" "Yeah good thanks Leah I hear yous are getting married soon?" "How are you finding this stuff out?" "Emily" "of course I was hoping you's would be home so I can invite yous" "we will be there Chris."
Once we finish eating we get Xanders shoes on and he plays in the garden with Bella "he's gorgeous Chris" "I know he has come along so much" "does he always say that when you meet him?" "About me and Leah?" "Yeah" "yeah he does we think it is his way of scaring people" "why?" "His birth mum was a nasty piece of work" "and does he always say his full name?" "Well the adoption hasn't happened yet but being a Robinson was really triggering to him so he recently and I mean like a week ago found out his new name and he loves it" "I can't believe you of all people are getting married and have a son" "with another on the way." Shit I didn't mean to say that out loud "omg really? Leah?" "No promise you won't say anything but Xanders birth mum is pregnant again but she is not allowed kids at all so we are getting him" "Chris this is amazing does he know?" "No not yet" "he will be so happy."
Leah finally comes out after washing up "what took so long baby?" "I was getting the riff raff in?"
"The what?" I turn and see fingers poff and the boss stood there "no fucking way! What are yous doing here?" I stand and give them a hug "we came to see you sarge" "don't call me that please" "but.." "please fingers, and poff you don't smell well done mate your becoming an adult" "ha ha your so funny, how's your fucked up brain doing?" "Still better than yours mate because I have one" "ahhh like no time has passed at all" "come sit down I need to introduce you to someone." We all sit down "Xander come here baby I want you to meet some people" Xander comes running over but stays close to me and Leah. The boss crouches in front of him "hi young man what's your name?" "My mummy was a soldier and my mama weally weally stwong!" Georgie laughs and the boss looks confused "baby these are soldiers I used to work with them, this is Poff, fingers and the boss Charlie" "but mummy you the boss" "I am at the gym but this was my boss in the army" "mama who your boss?" "Jonas is but are you going to tell them who you are?" "I Xander Taylor Williamson no wobinson" "well Xander how old are you?" "4" "4 wow we will have you in the army in no time" "like hell you will boss he's not joining I won't allow it" "you know that's not how it works Chris" "don't put it in his head Charlie please I couldn't loose my son" "we never lost you" "I NEARLY DIED!" "Baby calm down" I look at Xander who is cuddled into Leah "I'm sorry for shouting baby." I take a couple of deep breaths "sorry for shouting I'm calm come here buddy" Xander slowly comes over and I pick him up putting him on my knee "I love you Xander and I will never hurt you, I didn't mean to shout" "wove you mummy, mummy I play soldier with gorgie?" "Have you asked her?" "Gorgie we play soldier?" "Erm what do we say mister?" "Pwease" "of course we can."
Georgie and Xander go and play "Chris?" "Don't even go there boss it's not happening" "I want to know what's happening with you" "he's my son I could never imagine the thought of losing him Charlie" "have you been to therapy?" "What's that got to do with anything?" "Chris it has everything to do with everything and you know that" "yes I've been to therapy and yes spoke about everything and got everything off my chest, but that's got nothing to do with this and everything to do with me protecting my son, our son" I point to me and Leah. I watch Xander army crawl with Georgie and fingers has joined in "we miss you, you know?" "It's been years Poff" "doesn't change how we feel Chris it was like loosing our left arm and right leg when we found out you weren't coming back" I laugh "what?" "We were lop sided" "you've not changed at all have you?" "Yeah I have" "how?" "I shower now" "and the world thanks you for that mate."
I get Leah to sit on my knee so I can cuddle her "you know sarge when we were on detail you could have give me the nudge and I'd of giving yous some privacy." I burst out laughing "you nearly caught us once poff" "dude!" "What nothing can be done now it was 4 years ago" "I want to know more" "of course you do weirdo." Leah tells him about the night on the sofa after the fight with brains "damn that close eh?" "Very close you have no idea" "so come on then Chris tell me what happened on your r&r days at the hotel." I go bright red "noooo I've never seen you go so red baby" "ok moving on from that." Xander falls over I go to get up but my fucking knee stops me. Leah goes over and brings Xander over crying "aww baby what happened?" "I falled" "oh no come cuddle in then." Xander cuddles into my chest crying himself to sleep.
Me and Leah sit talking to everyone for just over an hour before they have to leave and I wake Xander for lunch. "Hi sleepy head do you feel better?" "Yes mummy, mummy I hungwy" "me too baby let's get some food." Leah comes outside "oh hey bubs how's the knee?" "Sore I get sticks like mummy" we have to laugh "I'm sure you can walk baby." He gets up and runs into the kitchen "ooo work your magic on me my love" "I did last night and if your good I will tonight" "count me on my best behaviour my love" I kiss Leah then whisper in her ear "you have no idea how much my nerves are tingling right now." She shivers and I go inside "so baby what do you want for dinner?" "Ermmm sgetti on bread" "bread or toast?" "Toast pwease mummy" "coming right up." Leah comes in "I need to speak to you like right now!" Shit! I go into the passage shutting the kitchen door. Leah pushes me against the door kissing me roughly causing me to moan "don't ever do that to me!" I go back to kissing Leah pulling her against me "MUMMY HUNGWY!" I pull back catching my breath as does Leah "coming now baby, wow I fucking love you" "I fucking love you too baby now let's feed our son."
We go in the kitchen and Leah makes lunch, we decide now is the time to tell Xander. I told Leah she is doing all of the talking and I'm just there in case she needs me. Once Xander is finished he goes to go and play "wait bubs before you go I need to talk to you come here please." Xander goes to Leah and she puts him on her knee "bubs I'm going to be going away for 6 weeks" "me and mummy come wif you? We go on neroplane?" "I wish baby but you and mummy have to stay here" "mama you not wove us anymore?" "What no baby I do I love you and mummy all the world, all the universe.." "no mama" "baby listen please" "no mama!" Xander gets down and climbs on my knee so Leah crouches in front of him "baby when people play football they have to go away sometimes and that's what I'm doing, I'm going to play for England but mummy is going to bring you to every game and I'm going to FaceTime you everyday. Xander I love you more than anything in this world and me and mummy are going to make this week so special for you. Baby don't for one second think I don't love you because I love you so much." I can see Leah getting upset "baby please come and give me a hug" Xander doesn't move "please Xander I love you so much." Xander goes to Leah and she hugs him tight crying "mama I stay here?" "Yeah you will stay here with mummy and I will come back" "no mama I stay here?" Leah looks at me confused then it clicks he thinks he isn't going to be living here anymore. Ok now it's time for me to step in "baby you will still be living here with me and mama, just mama is going to win a big shiny trophy" "well I'm going to try" "you will my love because mama is the best footballer in the world isn't she baby" "yeah mama you the best."
We decide to spend the rest of the day watching movies and making plans for the rest of the week. But as much as we tried Xanders mood was up and down the rest of the day which drains him so he is now in bed. "I can stay baby I don't have to go" "your going my love he will be fine, but how many people get to say they are captaining their country at a home country tournament, trust me my love Xander will be so happy when he sees how many football games he will be going to." Me and Leah go to bed falling asleep. When we wake up again the next morning Xander slept through the night this makes us very happy. We get up and get Xander up "mama we go zoo today" "we are bubs and guess what" "what mama?" "Nana, grandad, grandma and grandpa are coming with us" "yeyyyy!"
Leah gets Xander ready as I get ready then we have breakfast and head straight out. When we get to the zoo I get out of the car I see my dad stood there with a wheelchair "that better be for you" "no it's for you" "you can stick that up your fucking arse" "ermm 2 things baby 1 watch your language and 2 you are using it or your sitting in the car I asked your dad to get it" "what? No! No way I'm not using it sorry come on Xander let's get in." I go to walk well hobble away "Chris!" Leah looks at everyone to say give us a minute "baby we are supposed to be giving Xander the best week, I knew if I told you about it, it would end up in an argument please baby don't let your pride ruin this week. If you're walking around all week you're going to be in so much pain." I hate how right she is right now "I can see you want to say something Chris so please say something" "I don't want to be stuck in that thing all day everyday and I want to be able to get out to look at things with you and Xander and just know I am really not happy about you going behind my back on this" "I know your not but I can make it up to you" "yes you can in many many many maaannnnyyyy ways."
We go over to everyone "so what's the verdict?" I say nothing and just sit in the chair "mummy wook ganny gorwia and gwumps jemmy" "oh wow I did know yous were coming today how are you both?" "We are good Chris how is the knee?" "Actually not too bad got physio tomorrow so I will get to walk again aided but still walking" "that's fantastic news." We start going around the zoo "ganny gorwia wook gwumps a monkey" "Jeremy what are you doing?" "We are being monkey's." I start getting sad because this is the first time at the zoo with Xander and I can't mess around with him like everyone else is. I feel a hand on my shoulder "you can fake a smile as much as you want kid but I can see there is something going on" "I just wish that I could mess about with Xander the way everyone else is that's all dad" "you'll get there kid."
We continue around the zoo and I decide to get out of the chair for a little bit so I can actually enjoy this with my son. I start getting a bit tired so sit back in the chair "nooo does this mean I did the right thing then?" "Oh shush you" "mummy I sit on your knee pwease?" "Come on then big guy." I pick him up and he sits on my knee around the rest of the zoo. When we are done we go for lunch "what's the plans for this afternoon?" "Arcades at the beach?" "Yes pwease mama" "I like it but only if I can spend most of my time out of the chair" "do you know who you remind me of?" "Who?" "Our 4 year old son 'no mama I'm not going in my pram'" everyone laughs except me "fine I will use the chair!" "Baby I'm joking don't go moody please" "I'm not I'm just saying I will use the chair." Leah puts her hand on my thigh and I just continue eating quietly. When we are done we get in the car "talk to me baby what's going on?" "Nothing" "please don't shut me out baby talk to me please I can help" "why can you give me a new knee?" "A new knee? Are you in pain?" "No I'm not in pain" "so tell me then" "I just want to join in the fun with our families, with our son not watching it all from a fucking wheelchair" "wanguage mummy" "sorry baby."
We arrive at the arcades and I get the chair out of the boot "here kid let me help" "it's fine I can do it" "Chris" "I said it's fine dad." He walks away and I just sigh "come on Chris pick yourself up you're not ruining this day!" I get the chair out of the car and unfold it "Chris?" "Oh hey David you alright?" "I am but you're not" "what? No I'm fine just needed to give myself a talk that's all" "Chris I think you need to go home" "what why?" "Because your miserable and this is supposed to be a happy family day for everyone" "yeah I struggled a little bit but I'm fine now" "go home Chris, rest and try another day" "but.." "go home." He puts his hand on my shoulder "oh right erm ok, sorry I ruined the day." I put the chair back in the car and walk away from everyone.
~Leah's POV~
"Where is Chris going?" "I don't know sweetheart." I run after Chris "Chris wait where are you going?" "Home" "what? No you're not, will you stop please?" She stops but her head is down but I can still see the tears "baby what's going on?" "I'm sorry I ruined the day for everyone" "who said you ruined the day?" "No one" "bullshit because this has come from nowhere so do not lie to me Christina Williamson who said you ruined the day?" "David" "my dad?" She nods "I should just go home Leah" "2 things 1 don't call me Leah because that's not what you call me and 2 your staying with me and our son and hopefully going to win him a giant teddy so I can get mine back." I lift Chris' head up from the chin wiping her tears and giving her a kiss "come on baby."
We go back over to everyone and Kieth gets the wheelchair back out of the car "you ok kid?" Chris plants a smile on her face "all good dad, are we ready to go see if I can win you a giant teddy like I won for mama" "but I got mama's" "I know but now you could have one of your own how does that sound?" "Yes pwease mummy." Chris sits in the wheelchair and puts Xander on her knee "I want a word with you now!" Dad follows me but so does mum and Kieth "what the hell do you think you're playing at?" "What's going on sweetheart?" "Dad told Chris to go home because she was ruining the day" Kieth gets in dad's face "you said what? Who the fuck do you think you are speaking to my daughter like that? You have no idea what she is going through!" "Look all I meant was she couldn't keep a smile on her face and disengaged from everyone." I pull Kieth back "yeah because this is Xanders first time at a zoo and arcades and she is sat in a chair whilst we are all running around with him" "and whose faults that?" "Jacob's actually David remember" "don't ever speak to Chris like that again do you understand dad? She feels guilty enough about not being able to join in without you making it worse."
I go back over to Chris who has Xander creased in her lap "mama, mama hewp" I see Chris tickling Xander and decide to start tickling Chris and she stops and starts laughing herself. Xander joins in with tickling Chris "ok, ok yous win please stop" I lean over and kiss Chris then Xander "come on then we have prizes to win." We go in and get Xander to put the notes in the change machine and it's the cutest thing because when the money comes out at the bottom he thinks he is winning. We go on some coin pushers but when it comes to winning the giant teddy Chris has to do the shooting game because she cannot keep her balance for throwing. I'm not going to lie her shooting is very impressive it's actually scary. When she turns around she must see the look on our faces "what?" "Your scary kid" "best aim in the platoon dad" "I can see that Jesus." The man hands over the teddy "fank you mummy" "you are so very welcome baby." We all continue playing but I can see Chris' smile fading despite her best efforts. I lean over the back of the chair and whisper in her ear "I appreciate the smile baby but I will put a proper smile on your face when we get home." I walk away "right bubs it's time to go home now how about Chinese for tea then bath and bed you have had a very busy day" "ok mama" "good boy let's say goodbye to everyone."
We go over and say bye to everyone then get in the car. "Baby look he is fast asleep" Chris turns around looking in the back "bless him he is too gorgeous, Leah?" "Yeah baby?" "I'm so sorry about today I didn't mean for it to happen I promise I didn't" "baby it's fine and my dad should have never said what he said" "he had a point though" "no he didn't now let's not talk about it anymore." When we get home we order food and get Xander bathed and into his pyjamas before having tea then he went straight to bed. I go downstairs and see Chris lying on the sofa so I go over straddling her "so baby I believe I promised you a smile." She smiles nodding her head "good" I start kissing her "you will be alright when I'm gone won't you?" "My love I will be perfect after tomorrow when I am told I can walk around on crutches" "ok that's all I care about" "I know and that's one of the many reasons I love you." We decide to go upstairs and have a very late but amazing night.
It's now the day after Chris' physio and she is flying around on her crutches since she has been told she can walk around with them. We are currently just heading into the aquarium on south bank and it is like I have 2 kids with me. "Mama wook at mummy" I see Chris swinging around on her crutches "mummy is going to get her backside kicked if she doesn't behave" "whoops sorry my love" "you will be if you hurt yourself" "no more I promise but look at the size of that turtle Xander it's huge" "wowww wook mummy shark" "oh no I better behave before mama feeds me to the shark." Chris gives me a kiss on my cheek and we continue walking around we go to get some food. "Guess what time it is now my prince?" "What mummy?" "It's shrek adventure time" "yeyyyy!" We go around the shrek adventure and Xander FaceTimes Kieth "hello young man how can I help you?" "Gwandad we saw lots of photo's of you" "oh really where abouts?" "Shwek" "is that right? Is mummy there?" "Yeah mummy gwandad want you" "you little grass." Chris takes the phone "helllooooo" "what have you been teaching my grandson?" "Oh nothing not a thing" "really Xander what did mummy say?" "You shwek" "stop grassing on me you snitch" "mhmmm I will have words with her after my meeting, but I have to go now ok, I love yous all" "wove you gwandad" "bye dad have fun." We end up just grabbing tea out again because of the time and how tired Xander is.
Once Xander is in bed I go into our bedroom and Chris is stood there in her army uniform "oh fuck ermmm baby what you doing?" She has a cheeky smile on her face "just seeing if it still fits that's all but now I know it fits I can just put it away." I walk over to Chris "can I help you?" I just nod "good." Chris picks me up putting me on the tall chest of drawers kissing me. Our lips part and our tongues finding each others. Chris removes my top throwing it across the room so I return the favour. Chris is being very direct in what she wants and I really don't care. She pulls me close to the edge of the drawers pulling my trousers and underwear off again throwing them across the room. Chris puts my legs over her shoulder and before I know Chris is massaging my clit with her tongue and she is not being gentle about it. Who cares fuck me it feels so good, I can't control the moans coming out of my mouth right now. Chris enters me and I'm being so loud right now I need to try and quieten myself down so I cover my mouth as I cry out. I barely have time to catch my breath before Chris helps me down, she isn't done yet, good because neither am I. After a couple of hours we collapse on the bed completely out of breath "oh fuck wow let's do that again" "yeah but with the grandparents watching Xander" "uh huh."
I wake up the next morning and Chris isn't in bed so I get ready and go downstairs. I see her playing in the garden with Xander and Bella "good morning everyone" "good morning my love" "hi mama" "what are we doing out here then?" "We pway mama" "very nice, what time is it?" "9.50 I wanted to let you sleep and I thought since we are just having a movie I would have Bella brought back you know with her going to stay at your parents whilst your gone" "fair enough, have yous had breakfast?" "Yeah we had some cereal" "ok I'm going to get some and I will bring it outside" "ok my love." I go get my breakfast and sit in the garden where we spend the full morning just playing. Some of the girls have been over to see Xander before they fly off all over the world but who I wasn't expecting was Lucy Kiera and G to come over. And that's who Xander is plays with for the rest of the day.
The rest of the week is the same with family outings, movie days and spending all my time with Chris and Xander. But today is the day I leave for camp and Xander is not taking it too well at all he can't stop crying "bubs I promise I will be back in no time and I will speak to you everyday" "mama stay" "I want too baby I really do but I can't I love you so much" "wove you mama." I hold Xander as tight as I can holding back my own tears. Chris has phoned Diane over to help with Xander after I go. I load my bags into mums car and give Xander one last hug. Once it is just me and Chris the flood gates open "my love he is going to be fine I promise I will make sure of it" "I know I am going to miss him so much" "I know but you will see him soon my love I will make sure of it" "I love you thank you for everything" "I love you more and just think after this tournament it is wedding time" "good I can't wait anymore" "me either now it's time for you to go" "I will see you soon" I give Chris a kiss and get in the car where my mum comforts me as I cry most of the way to sgp.