Leah and her soldier

You should of told me

"Please my love let me come with you" "no you promised you would rest and you have done everything but" "awww but all we are going is getting the new car" "exactly getting the car then coming home" "so what's the problem. Leah my love, love of my life I have not been outside in 4 days I have forgotten what the outside world looks like." Leah laughs at me "your so dramatic" "please baby let me come with you, we will collect the car, pick Xander up from nursery, pick up some tea then I swear on my life I will become a couch vegetable just for you" "your so spoilt" "mhmm I agree" I kiss Leah "let's go." We get into the car and head to the dealership "omg sit still" "I can't I'm too excited" "your such a child, I married a child" "at least I make life interesting for you my love" "you certainly do baby."

We arrive at the dealership and sign the paper work "hey baby watch this" I get in the car with no issues at all "what am I watching?" "Me getting in the car with no problems" "Chris you are so unbelievably cute" "hey I'm not cute I'm a tough badass" "your cute and you know you are" "whatever lets go get our son" "don't you whatever me Christina Williamson admit it" "ok ok fine I'm cute but you know what?" "What?" "You're cuter my love." I give Leah a kiss "soft shite" I have to laugh. We arrive at Arsenal education to pick Xander up "ermm where are you going?" "Erm to get our son" "no you're staying here and I'm not shifting on that one" "awww but" "no buts your staying end of I won't be long." Leah walks away leaving me sitting in the car and I just watch her sulking. I am only 4 days post surgery and I am already done with this.

After a couple of minutes I see Leah coming out with Xander so I slide out of the car. It takes him a couple of seconds to realise I am there but then it is a new car "MUMMY!" He runs over and I pick him up "hi my prince did you have a good day at school?" "Yeah mummy wook I made this for you" he gives me a card "aww that's so sweet do I get a kiss?" He gives me a kiss "mama I draw you a picture" he gives Leah a picture which gives her the biggest smile. This is when I realise how his close attachment to me must be affecting Leah and I'm hit with an overwhelming sense of guilt. I whisper in his ear "go give mama a hug and kiss" he goes to Leah "thank you for my picture baby" "wove you mama" "I love you bubs." We go and pick up tea Xander and Leah wanted pizza so I got a carbonara I have to fancy pizza if I'm honest. When we get home I do as promised and not move off the sofa "what movie are we watching? Not a long one because you need an early night big guy you had a late one last night" "errmmm Transylvania" "we can do that can't we mama?" "Yeah we certainly can."

Once we finish watching the movie Leah puts Xander to bed and before coming back downstairs "baby can I talk to you?" "Yeah is everything alright?" "Not really come sit down please." Leah sits beside me but has a really worried look on her face "I've been hurting you and I didn't even realise" "what do you mean?" "Xander the attachment he has with me I saw tonight just how much it's been hurting you" "baby it's ff.." "don't you dare say it's fine Leah because it's not I just wish I had noticed sooner or you told me" "ok yes it hurts to see the relationship you and our son have and how he thinks I can't protect him like you can but he knows your ex forces so of course he is going to feel safer with you" "I'm going to fix this my love I promise I am and I'm so sorry for not realising sooner." I pull Leah so she is lying beside me with her head on my chest "it's not your fault you know?" "I should have noticed my love but I promise I will sort it" "how?" "Leave that to me" I kiss the top of Leah's head.

Both me and Leah fall asleep on the sofa and I wake up to Xander standing in front of me causing me to jump which in turn causes Leah to jump and unintentionally hurt my knee "ahh fuck that hurt that really hurt" "I'm sorry I'm so sorry what happened?" "You not in bed mama" "and neither are you what time is it?" "2am why you not in bed?" "I have a scary dream" "ok let's all go to bed you go up first and we will follow." Xander runs upstairs "are you ok baby?" "I'll be fine my love come on before he scares the shit out of me again" "I've never seen you jump like that ever" "I've never had someone wake me up by putting their face in mine." We reach upstairs and Xander is waiting for us by the bedroom door "we go in your bed." Me and Leah look at each other in defeat "just for tonight and only because me and mama are too tired to argue" "ok mummy."