Today is the day of the surgery and I'm so scared I haven't slept at all. I've been keeping a secret about the surgery that I've not told a single person. So here I am lying staring at my wife who is fast asleep taking in every small detail of her face holding back all of my tears. Hair falls in Leah's face when she moves so I gently brush it out of the way and a little smile appears on her face "good morning baby" "good morning my love have I ever told you how fucking sexy your morning voice is?" She lets out a small laugh "can't say you have no, how are you feeling about today?" "Fine everything's going to run smoothly" "you bet your arse it is or I will kick your arse if not" "I don't doubt you for a minute my love, do you know what I think we should do just one last time?" "What's that baby?" I just raise my eyebrows and smile which causes Leah to laugh "no it's not happening" "awww but my love it's been a week and a half and we went from having sex every night, most mornings and even Xanders nap times to nothing at all. Just once you know you want to" "Chris I know this has been hard on you trust me seeing my wife in pain is difficult, and trust me I want you as much as you want me I promise I do but I can't hurt you or risk hurting you" "it was worth a try, how about a make out session before Xander gets up then?" "Now that I can do." Leah sits on me and starts to kiss me I manage to deepen the kiss just a little to keep it subtle. I pull Leah into me and reach for the bottom of Leah's top and start lifting it up, to my surprise she lifts her arms up for me to take it off so I do. I move my kisses along Leah's jaw to her neck cause her to moan and this lights a fire in my soul. Well until she jumps off me "fuck I'm sorry I shouldn't have let that happen" Leah quickly puts her top back on "no I'm sorry."
I get up and head to the shower "baby where you going?" "I have to have my shower" "baby please come back and have some cuddles with me" "I will after my shower" "please don't be mad at me" "I'm not I understand but I'm excited to not have to use this horrible hospital body wash anymore." I go into the shower and I can't stop thinking about how this could be the last time I see my family, my wife, my son. "Baby?" "Hm yeah everything alright?" "Well I was going to ask you that you have been in here for 20 minutes" "what have I really?" "Yeah what's going on?" "Nothing I was just singing in my head" "are you coming out then?" "Yeah coming now." I get out of the shower getting dried and dressed going into the bedroom "Chris talk to me" "what about?" "What's going on in your head" "nothing I swe.." "mummy mama I awaked" "hi my prince just in time for some cuddles then before grandma comes to take you to nursery."
I climb on the bed and hold Xander tight holding back my tears "you know mummy loves you more than anything in the world. Xander I will always love you and be with you right here" I point to Xanders heart "just like you will always be right here" I put his hand on my heart. I can see Leah staring at me and she looks a little angry luckily Xander is here so I can't get in trouble right now. Amanda comes in and comes upstairs "hey baba" "hi gama" "your not ready yet" "that's my fault Amanda he was giving me lots of cuddles" "mum could you get Xander ready for me please?" "Of course come on let's get you ready." As soon as Amanda takes Xander out of the room Leah closes the door "you're going to tell me what's going on" "I don't..." "don't lie to me you have just said goodbye to our son! Not I'll see you later but a goodbye" "Le.." "tell me now or I swear to fucking god so help me" I put my head down "I was told I'm a high risk when it comes to surgeries due to my seizures" "you were told what?" "I'm a high.." "oh no I heard you when were you told this?" "A week ago" "a week? A WEEK AND YOU NEVER FUCKING TOLD ME!" "I..I.." Leah hits me then continues hitting me so I grab her arms pulling her into her hugging her tight at this point I can't hold my tears anymore "I don't want to die Leah I have to much to live for, I'm scared" "don't you dare leave us Chris I mean it I'll fucking kill you."
I give Xander another hug before he leaves for nursery and Leah takes me to the hospital. I try to get her to go home but she insists on staying I'm glad she has though because I'm scared like really scared. I've never admitted to Leah about being scared before so that says someth "what you thinking about?" "Just that I'm glad I couldn't talk you out of going home" "never baby how about we watch something to take your mind off things" "what were you thinking?" "You're go to in these times" "mr bean?" "Yeah it's on netflix" "but you don't like it" "right now I don't care it's what you need so let's watch it." I cuddle into Leah and we watch a couple of episodes of mr bean when a nurse comes for me for my surgery. Leah leans over the bed giving me a kiss "remember what I said" "don't die or you'll kill me got it" we both laugh "good to know you listen baby I love you" "I love you more." I'm wheeled away and put under.
~Leah's POV~
I decide to stay at the hospital whilst Chris is down having her surgery. I sit in Chris' room just watching movies on my phone not that I can really focus on them. I'm ignoring everyone's texts and calls except mums, Diane's and Kieth's "mrs Williamson?" "Yeah" "Chris' surgery went well she is in recovery and should be back within half an hour" "oh great that's fantastic thank you very much, so no seizures?" "No none at all" "thank you honestly I cannot thank you enough" "your welcome is there anything I can get for you?" "No just my wife would be great" the nurse laughs "she will be up soon." I decide to update everyone by text and put a message in the Arsenal WhatsApp group. Chris is eventually brought up to her room and she is surprisingly alert "hi baby how you feeling?" "A little like shit but not too bad, not that I don't love to see your gorgeous face but what are you doing here?" "I never left baby" "your nuts but boy do I love you" "I love you too now get some rest" "yes boss."
Chris has been asleep for a little while I asked mum and Diane to bring Xander to the hospital and judging from the mummy shouts from the hallway he has arrived. He is such a mummies boy, I go into the hallway and he sees me "MAMA!" He runs towards me "shhhh bubs there is a lot of poorly people here" "sowwy is mummy poorly?" "No just her leg should we go see her?" "YEAH!" "We have to be quiet though because she is asleep" "ok mama." We go into the room and Xander wants on Chris' bed so I put him on the good side and he cuddles her. It's cute because she automatically pulls him in like she can sense he is there "how is she doing Leah?" "Not too bad Diane I made her get some sleep and as you can see it worked" "she didn't have a seizure?" "No, no seizures and everything went well she just has to have physio but I think she will like her physio I've already met her" "her?" "Yeah mum it's Vicky" "Vicky? Why does that name ring a bell?" "It's her physio off the last time she was injured" "Jesus talk about a small world" "I know."
"Mummy waked up" "shit! Xander no" "hmm hi baby" "mummy you were sleep so I woked you up" "I know but you know what I'm glad you did because I missed you" "I miss you mummy" "how you feeling sweetheart?" "But blah but I want to know what my gorgeous boy has been up to at nursery" "we draw and play football" "that sounds like so much fun" "how are you feeling blah?" "I just feel a little sick it's nothing to worry about baby" "I will get them to give you something." I go find a doctor "Christina Williamson is feeling sick" "ok I will get a nurse to come and give her something" "thank you." I go back to Chris' room "Kat and Freya are coming to see you" "cool, erm can someone get Xander and pass a sick bowl please?" Diane gets Xander and I run over with a sick bowl just in time for Chris to start vomiting so I hold her hair "ahhh looks like I was little too late still want this?" The nurse holds a syringe and Chris nods "can you confirm name and date of birth please?" "Christina Williamson 27/7/97" "thank you."
Once the nurse has give Chris her medicine she leaves the room and Chris leans back holding her arms out for Xander again and I sit the other side "want to tell us what's with the Williamson?" "Xander will be a Williamson soon and this way he doesn't get confused why all 3 of us have different names" "I guess that makes sense but why Williamson? I thought you would keep your last name" "well you are looking at Xander Taylor Williamson now can we stop with the questions and please let me just cuddle my family" "ok baby girl I'm sorry are you feeling better now?" "Yeah" "good, Kat and Freya are on their way up I'm going to meet them at the lift" "ok." Diane heads along to the lift "mummy sing pwease" "of course baby." Chris starts singing Shania Twain's you're still the one like she always sings to him. Diane and Kat are stood at the door with a surprised look on their faces so they call me over "does Chris always sing this song?" "Yeah why?" Diane tears up "what's going on?" "Diane used to sing this to Chris to calm her down because this is what rose used to sing to her" "Chris' birth mum?" "Yeah and now she is singing it to her son" "that's so sweet it's a shame she doesn't remember her dad" "she does Leah, Peter was an absent father he thought the best way to be a dad was to earn every penny god sends instead of being there" "she always says she doesn't really remember him" "she won't speak ill of him." I look at Chris with Xander and everything just makes sense now.
I go back over to Chris and she pats the side of her bed for me to join them. Once she is finished she sees Kat and Freya "hey you two how's it going?" "Yeah good how you feeling?" "Tired but not too bad thanks" "mummy when we go home?" "I'm not coming home tonight baby?" "Ok I stay with you" Chris smiles "I wish you could baby I really do but you've got to go home and watch Bella for me" "no mummy I stay with you" "Xander listen please" "NO MUMMY I STAY WITH YOU!" "Baby listen to me mama is like me she will always protect you, in fact mama is scarier than me, Xander no matter if your with me or mama, or nana or grandma or anyone else no one and I mean no one is ever going to hurt you ever again we won't let it happen and your such a brave boy remember that, what is your name" "Xander" "what is your last name?" "Wobinson" "no never again you are Williamson, your name is Xander Taylor Williamson, you are not Robinson anymore and that is what everyone is going to call you from now on ok?" "Yes mummy" "now visiting is over soon so when it is your going to go home with mama and yous are going to have some food and take Bella for a walk and watch a film aren't you's mama?" "We certainly are" "see you have nothing to be worried about plus show me your muscles" Xander flexes his arms "bigger than mine so stronger than me."
Xander stays quiet after that just cuddled into Chris. I'm glad she knows what to say in these situations. We all sit talking but I can see Chris flagging "I think it's time to go home" "sorry I'm falling asleep" "don't be sorry baby girl we will see you tomorrow" "bye everyone thanks for coming." Mum Diane Kat and Freya leave "bubs it's time to say goodbye to mummy" "bye mummy I wove you" "I love you too baby I will see you tomorrow." I lean over giving Chris a kiss "ring me later baby" "I will I promise" "good I love you" "I love you too my love." Chris gives Xander one last kiss and we head to the lifts "mama?" "Yeah bubs?" "Mama I miss mummy." I pick Xander up "me too bubs me too, how about we stop off at the shop and get some sweets" "yes pwease" "and tomorrow how about you stay home with me and when mummy can come home you surprise her?" "Yeah!!" "You know Xander mummy is right I would never let anything happen to you ever your my gorgeous little boy and I love you all the world" "I wove you mama."
We go to Tesco's and get some sweets, Xander wants to get Chris some and some flowers as well he is so cute. I load the car up and put Xander in his seat I hate to admit this but we do need a bigger car I will speak to Chris about it later. "Mama?" "Yeah baby?" "You miss mummy?" "So very much, I love mummy so much" "I wove mummy" "I know you do baby, what are we going to watch tonight?" "Fwozen pwease" "that sounds good to me." Once we arrive home I unpack the shopping and sort tea out "how about we get our pyjamas on and we can lie on the sofa and cuddle under the blanket?" "Yes pwease." We go upstairs and get our pyjamas on "mama?" "Yeah baby?" "We cuddle on your bed?" "Why not? Grandpa should be back with Bella soon" "I cuddle with you and Bella?" "That's sounds perfect to me baby." We get comfortable and when Bella gets dropped off she joins us.
When Xander falls asleep I take a picture and send it to Chris.
Chris - OMG that's so fucking cute. Can I come home? Xxx
Me - We wish you could baby xxx
Chris - How has he been? Xxx
Me - As good as gold as always we both miss you xxx
Chris - I miss you's both very much my love can't wait to come home tomorrow. I was thinking of ways to cheer myself up and I had a thought that made me laugh xxx
Me - I'm listening or reading more like it xxx
Chris - 😂😂 I'm rubbing off on you I love it, so you know how we find it difficult to leave each other for a night especially now we have a son? Xxx
Me - Yeahhhh? Xxx
Chris - Imagine if I was still in the army? God we would be a bloody nightmare xxx
Me - Your right we would be I'm glad your not in the army I couldn't bare not having you around Chris xxx
Chris - tbf my love I think I would of struggled so much I would of left the army xxx
Me - You would have left the army for me? Xxx
Chris - In a heartbeat I would do everything and anything for you. Got any enemies? Nahhh there dead 😵 xxx
Me - Stop making me laugh Xander is asleep xxx
Chris - See that makes me smile picturing you smiling and laughing xxx
I put my headphones in and FaceTime Chris I need to see this smile "hi my love" "hi baby" "my love why don't you just leave the room instead of whispering?" "He has his hand on my side for contact" "aww bless him man how did we get so lucky?" "I don't know but when our other son comes he better be a mama's boy because Xander is such a mummy's boy" "wha.. huh.. no.. ok yeah he is but I think I have figured out why" "why?" "What is the first thing he says when he meets new people or when he is scared of someone" "his mummy was a soldier why have we never noticed before?" "Because we thought it was cute when in actual fact I think he is warning them" "because his mummy will always protect him" "and so will his mama" "I think he is starting to believe that" "we will remind him everyday my love I want him to feel as safe with you as he does with me" "mrs Williamson it's time for your pain medication" "yeah I can tell it's starting to hurt" "sorry I didn't realise you were on the phone" "it's alright I'm sure she doesn't mind do you my love" "anything to get you out of pain baby." I wait until Chris has her medicine "how long until it kicks in?" Chris laughs "now!" "Oh god are you still on morphine?" "Yeahhhhh" "baby you are so funny on morphine" "you know what I wish?" "What do you wish baby?" "You took me up on that offer this morning" "offer? What offer?" "Theeee offer" Chris raises her eyebrows "ohhh that offer soon baby and trust me it will all be worth it" "I know I'm just frustrated that's all" I have to laugh "it's only been a week and a half" "don't laugh at me Williamson have you seen my wife? She's just.. yeah and very.. hmm.. and.." "baby?" "Yes my love?" "The morphine has taken full effect hasn't it?" "Yeahhh" "ok baby you get some sleep and I will see you tomorrow" "I love you Leah" "I love you too Chris now sleep" "yes my love goodnight" "goodnight." I hang up and watch tv before going to sleep.
Me and Xander wake up late this morning and Chris has already text me saying she is being discharged so I quickly feed Bella and let her out into the back garden and get me and Xander sorted. "Mama we prise mummy now?" "Yeah baby we surprise mummy." I quickly text Lia and ask if she can walk Bella for me. I get Xander in the car and drive to the hospital "remember you got to shout surprise when you see mummy" "yeah we prise mummy." Once we get to Chris' floor Xander runs straight along the corridor to Chris' room. I try to stop him but there was no stopping him. "PRISE MUMMY!" "Wow this really is a surprise you're supposed to be at nursery" Chris looks at me "naughty mama" "Xander you forgot these" I give Xander the flowers and sweets "mummy I got you this" "awww my sweet boy do I get a hug?" Xander runs over giving Chris a hug and I can see she is holding him tight she missed him last night "get in here mama join the hug fest." I go over and join the hug and Chris kisses us both "I missed yous so much but guess what?" "What mummy?" "I'm coming home now so let's go."
I get Chris' things and we go along to the lift "what was said then?" "Just the usual rest, ice all of that jazz physio on Tuesday" "and are you going to listen to them?" "I am my love" "really?" "Yes we have a son now and have to be a good example for you don't I baby boy?" "Yes mummy" "proud of you baby" "thanks my love, so what's the plans when we get home?" "We are going to have a nice relaxing day with cuddles aren't we bubs?" "Yes mama we maked it comfortable for you mummy" "that's because yous are beautiful people and I am the luckiest woman on the planet." We reach the car and I never thought Chris cannot bend her knee. I watch her struggle to get into the car "Leah my love.." "I know we need a bigger car" "we will look when we get home."
I drive us home and get Xander in the house then go back out to help Chris "baby what are you doing?" "Struggling, really struggling, help please" "what do you need me to do baby?" "Steady me I feel like I'm going to fall backwards" "you're not going to fall backwards baby I've got you." I say that with more confidence than I actually have for good reason as well because we both fall backwards. Chris bursts out laughing "you got me my love?" "Oh hush you're not hurt are you?" "Just my pride my love that's all" "that's good then." I get up "ermm baby how are we going to get you up?" "Easy now." Chris lifts herself onto the passenger seat and stands up "there we go but let's never use that method again" I laugh "I agree." We go inside "mummy wook what we done" Chris looks at the sofa that has pillows and blankets on it "is this for you?" "No mummy for you" "aww I have the sweetest family."
We all get comfortable and whilst Xander naps me and Chris look at cars. We chose a black Mercedes suv I can't wait for us to get it. Chris decides to take full advantage of Xander being asleep and cuddles into me falling asleep herself. The rest of the day is just full off napping, cuddling and movies just the 3 of us and it is perfect.