Amanda picked me up and took me to the stadium I was able to sneak in without being spotted by any of the girls. I'm so excited for today I've been a bit low lately so I am really looking forward to a hug from Leah. I'm also really happy to be back at a football game this is the first game I've been to since before me and Leah broke up. I've missed it, I've missed the atmosphere and everything. The girls smash it with a win, me and Amanda go back to the family room and I hide when the girls come into the room. Leah walks over and hugs Amanda "hi mum" "hi baba good game" "thank you" I step out behind Leah "hi my love" Leah turns around jumping into my arms "hi baby" I bury my head into her neck smelling her perfume "I can't believe your here" "like I would pass up an opportunity to see you." I sit down and Leah sits on my knee "how yous both been?" "Yeah been good" "and have you had anymore seizures?" "Just little ones nothing too bad" "I guess that's alright then and how's Bella been?" "As good as gold as always." I have my hand on Leah's back under her top gently rubbing it and she starts laughing "that tickled" "sorry I didn't mean to" "what did you do?" Amanda is confused "I was rubbing her back" "ahhhh right" "are yous coming back to the hotel?" "Yeah we are" my smile is beaming "thank you Amanda."
Leah gets on the team bus back to the hotel and I get into the car with Amanda "would you sit still?" "I can't I'm too excited" she laughs "I can see." Leah texts me to tell me she is in room 387 as soon as we reach the hotel I start running "THANKS AMANDA." I run into the hotel all the way up to Leah's room knocking on the door. As soon as the door opens I run in picking Leah up hugging her tight "are you alright baby?" "Better now you're in my arms my love" I have my head in Leah's neck and give it a kiss "not today baby" I pull back "what? I don't know what you mean" "really so you didn't just kiss my neck?" "Only because my face was in your neck that's all, surely you should know the difference." I put Leah down "you ran in picking me up then you kiss my neck" "I ran in because I missed you and I needed a hug from you, and I'm sorry I'll not kiss you again, I'm sorry have I done something wrong?" "No but I know what you're like" "what just some sex crazed lunatic who can't give my girlfriend a hug or a kiss without it turning into sex?" "No but.." "you know what this was a mistake I shouldn't have come" I turn and reach for the handle "wait where are you going?" "You're clearly not in the mood for my company because I clearly cannot spend time with you without having sex with you" "you're seriously leaving?" "Yep!" I open the door and walk out "Chris" I just keep walking going down to reception and there is a taxi there "are you free?" "Yeah" "cool to the train station then mate" "no bother jump in." I'm just about to get in the taxi "Chris aren't we going to talk about this?" "About what Leah. I'll see you when you get home have a good tournament" I get in the taxi "Chris!"
~Leah's~
What just happened? Chris left was I in the wrong there? I'm trying to phone her but she isn't answering.
Chris - I'm not in the mood for an argument.
Me - Baby come back let's talk about what just happened xx
Chris - What happened was I gave you a hug and the smallest kiss and you thought I wanted sex because apparently that's all I ever want!
Me - That's not what I said, please Chris come back so we can talk xx
I'm left on read
Me - Baby what's going on this isn't like you? Talk to me please xx
Chris - I'm not in the mood! See you when you get home.
I go along and see my mum "mum can I ask you something?" "Of course" she looks up from her book "where is Chris?" "She left, what's been going on with her?" "What do you mean she left?" "She got in a taxi to the train station, has something been going on?" "She's been feeling down since Freya told her she had to well basically get over this condition" "she what?" "Yeah Chris has been just locked in her room working she was so excited to see you I can't believe she just left."
Me - I know what Freya said. Baby don't listen to her you'll be ready to accept this when your ready not when your told your ready. Baby I love you and I'm sorry for just assuming I think my tiredness just got the better of me please come back I miss you xx
Chris - On a train sorry!
As I'm typing I get I can see Chris is typing so I stop and wait.
Chris - I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I do love you Leah I really do I shouldn't of let what happened recently affect my time with you and I'm so sorry about that I really am and when your home I will make it up to you I promise I will. You're my everything baby and you're forever my love. You make me proud everyday and make me feel proud of myself and also proud to call you my girlfriend. I really hope you can forgive me, I love you with everything that I am xx
Me - Baby I love you and I'm here for you always. I can't wait to come home to you at the end of the week and give you the hug you should have had today. Are you still going to let me phone you everyday? Xx
Chris - I'd be pissed if you didn't. I love you baby xx
Me - I love you too baby xx
Thank god that's sorted, I say goodbye to my mum then head back to my room.
Finally the week is over and I get to go home, mum is picking me up Chris can't come she has meetings unfortunately. She has let me phone her every night and we have been texting all of the time. "Mum how's Chris really been? She says she is alright but I know what she is like" "she went back to the house the day she got the train home" "why?" "She is still pissed with Freya and she said she couldn't stay there listening to them have sex all the time" "so who is staying with her" "that's the thing Leah she wouldn't let any of us" "ok now I'm going to kick her arse." We continue the journey home talking.
~Chris' POV~
"Please tell me you have good news for me?" I am in a meeting with my designers for the brand and everyone else that is involved with the release. "We have great news Chris everything is ready for the release on Monday" "that is amazing news thank you all so much" "BABY I'M HOME!" "Leah's home" I laugh "so come on then show me the design." Leah comes in the room "oh sorry" "no don't be your here just in time come sit down I'm just about to be shown the design for the brand" I pat my knee and Leah sits down. Denise shares the screen and there are the designs for the clothes line, pre workout and protein shakes and bars "I love them what do you think my love?" "They are perfect very you" "they are perfect thank you all so much" "no problem Chris good luck for Monday" "thank you I will see yous later." I pull Leah in and give her a hug "I'm glad your home my love" "me too baby what's happening on Monday?" "It's launch day my love" "that soon?" "Yeah got a lot of work to do in the run up" "do you want me to leave you to it?" "No chance let's go out for lunch my love."
I'm going to skip us forwards a few because somethings have happened and I'm going to summarise it all up for you because I don't want yous to get bored. I enjoy talking to yous telling yous about our life it's nice. So I released my clothing, protein and pre workout and when I say it was a success 78% of products sold out in the first 2 hours I was absolutely gobsmacked. I have been training with Tony 3 times a week 2 hours at a time. Tony has been recording the sessions and posting them on the gyms Instagram. We started online programs, the gym is growing faster than I ever anticipated. I haven't had a seizure in 6 weeks it's been great. I made up with Freya she apologised for what she said and said she never meant it she just thought she would try a different approach. Leah has been training hard and been right by my side through everything but the intimacy in our relationship is dead. There is no other way to put it just doesn't exist. It's not been for lack of trying but Leah just puts her hand on my cheek and I know that means no. Whenever I ask if there is something wrong she says she's just not in the mood or she is just tired so I let it go. To work out my frustrations I have been upping my workouts at the gym sometimes they help sometimes they don't but hey what am I going to do. Leah is currently at training so I'm making a nice meal for us tonight I want to try and cheer Leah up.
When Leah has arrived home from she comes into the kitchen "hi baby" "hi" I turn and kiss her cheek "I've ran a bath for you to have a soak in before tea, whilst your in the bath I will take Bella out" "thank you baby" "no problem." Leah gives me a kiss then goes upstairs "CHRIS?" "YEAH?" "WHATS ALL THIS?" "A RELAXING BATH" "YOUR TOO MUCH." Ok so that relaxing bath was a bubble bath with rose petals in and the iPad set up so she can watch something. I take Bella out for a walk I chose now because all of the Arsenal girls have just finished training so I have less chance of being stopped so I can get back and finish tea. After playing with Bella for half an hour I head back home to finish tea off. When I get back Leah is dressed and downstairs "so baby care to tell me what's going on?" I look at Leah confused "what do you mean?" "Well the bath and the food smells amazing what are you making?" "Steak with potatoes and seasoned roasted veg and a creamy garlic mushroom sauce" "see this why?" "Why not? There has been something wrong with you lately like your down or something and I'm just trying to cheer you up" "I've not been down I've been perfectly fine" "oh right sorry my mistake." I turn and go back to cooking, if Leah's not down is it me she is done with? I feel arms wrap around my waist and then think how could she be when she does stuff like this or is this an act I don't know my head is fucked at the moment. "Penny for your thoughts?" "What do you mean?" "I can smell the cogs in your head turning" "it's nothing" "so there is something?" "No just random thoughts that's all." Leah turns me around "what's going on Chris you won't even look at me" erm yeah because you are over me now and it hurts! "It's just random thoughts that's all" "then will you look at me please" I use everything I have to hide my true feelings and look up at Leah giving her a smile "see fine" "I'm not convinced" "I don't know what you want me to say Leah" "see right there it's Leah not baby or my love like usual" shit "I'm fine honestly, but I do need to finish cooking or your steak is going to be over cooked and I can't be having that" "ok." I turn around and finish cooking plating it up putting them on the table getting us drinks "Bon appetite" "thank you baby, did you manage to get your stock delivered today?" "Yeah all restocked but again it's selling out so having to put another order in" "that's good though right?" "It's brilliant I never in a million years thought it would be like this" "have you got anymore plans?" "Not at present just maintain the online sales for programs and products we have a sale on all online programs at the moment" "a sale? How come?" "Because they are that successful they are sitting at 40% off, how's training going?" "Yeah good the girls miss you though" "yeah well just been busy and that you know" "I know I've told them that they all love the training videos that you and Tony do" "why?" "I think it is because they are seeing the progress you're making, I also love them because you have that smile that I miss so much on them and seeing you laugh." I have nothing to say to that and just end up going quiet. When we finish eating I clear up "what do you want to do now?" "Anything you want" "how about a movie?" "Sounds good to me let me just wash up here" "ok, do I get a kiss?" "Erm yeah of course" Leah wraps her arms around my neck and starts kissing me. I put my hands on Leah's waist resisting everything that is telling me to pull Leah into me. Leah puts her hand on my cheek and rests her head on mine so I pull away "what happened?" "What do you mean?" "You pulled away from me" "sorry I thought you were done" "I was done?" "Erm I'm so confused as to what is going on here" "right what's going on?" "That's the thing I don't know you asked for a kiss I gave you one, you stopped the kiss so I went to go wash up and now we are having this conversation" "whatever" Leah walk away "Leah!" I walk after her "Leah" "see again it's Leah" "yeah that's your name" "you've stopped calling me baby or my love" "I'm sorry" "are you finished with me?" "What? How could you think that?" "Because of your distance from me" "my distance from you? Are fucking kidding me" "and what's that supposed to mean?" "Well let's see since coming back from international break we haven't been out on a date you have really distanced yourself from me and intimacy forget that I daren't fucking touch you" "so we're having a bit of a dry spell" "dry spell? A dry spell no love a dry spell is 3 maybe 4 weeks 10 weeks on the other hand is a stent in the fucking desert" "it hasn't been 10 weeks" "trust me yes it has the week before you went away, has something changed there?" "Well.. No erm no" "wow how unconvincing is that" I walk away and Leah follows me "fine alright yeah something has changed" "I fucking knew it, so come on tell me." Leah starts crying "I don't want to" "fine then I guess we have nothing to talk about then!" I start looking through the kitchen drawers "what are you doing?" "Looking for my flat keys where are they?" "No you're not leaving" "I'm not staying Leah I'm not staying somewhere where I'm not wanted" "you are wanted Chris you are" "then tell me what's changed?" "I erm I.. I can't" "fine see you later" I get my keys and walk to the door "I'm scared ok!" I turn around "scared of what?" She puts her head down "your seizures" "you're scared of my seizures? You have no idea, I'm scared every fucking day Leah that I might have a seizure that kills me, so come on what is it that scares you?" Leah is really crying now "that seizure you had before I left it was the worst I saw, your eyes rolled to the back of your head, it sounded like you were struggling to breathe, I thought that was it" "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I was scared Chris, I was scared because I promised that I would never let this affect us and I did." I walk over to Leah and pull her into a tight hug I can't hold back my tears anymore. I pick Leah up bridal style carrying her into the sitting room, sitting down putting Leah on my knee and continue to hold her, she cries into my chest. "I'm sorry my love this shouldn't be affecting you like this." I kiss Leah's head "you know I haven't had a seizure in 6 weeks" "6 weeks? That's amazing" Leah's crying have turned into gentle sobs "yeah I wish you told me baby I thought you didn't love me anymore" "never baby" "but you wouldn't even look at me" "because it was too hard" "did you notice I got a new tattoo?" "What? No you didn't" "I did your sitting on it" "on your thigh?" "I did yeah I will show you later but right now I just need to hold you."
After a while Leah falls asleep so I carry her to bed. The next morning I wake up to Leah in my arms it's been a while since this happened so I savour it. Leah eventually wakes up "good morning my love how are you feeling this morning?" "Good morning baby it feels so good to be in your arms again" "good because you are staying in them." I keep hold of Leah for a while before we get up. We get ready and eat before taking Bella for a walk. Walking hand in hand in the park "would you like to come on a date day with me today?" "Only if you come out with me and the girls tonight" "deal." We take Bella home then head out for the day, we first went shopping "wait here my love" "where are you going?" "You'll see" I run off returning 15 minutes later with a massive bunch of flowers "what are these for?" "For you my love you deserve the world and I'm going to be the one who gives you it, now let's go eat." We go to a restaurant and have some food before going to the beach. We go to the arcades where I just have to win Leah a giant teddy bear "and where exactly are we going to keep this big guy?" "Anywhere my love" "and how are we getting him home since I only have a fiat 500" "you leave the details to me." We go back to the car and fuck me it was a struggle getting that bear into that toy car Leah is laughing at me "you having fun there baby?" "Your getting a new fucking car for your birthday" "no I'm not you leave my car alone" "it's a fucking toy car" "baby your not buying me a car" "well tell me what you do want or I will have to use my imagination" "baby I have you I don't need anything else" "fine my own imagination it is."
We go home and get changed ready to go out tonight. We get a taxi and go to the bar "Chris you're here!" "Emily I don't know why I didn't think you would be here" "of course I am should we go get these beautiful ladies a drink" "obviously." I decide to get the whole team a drink so it takes some time. When we go back over there is a lad all over Leah "I said get off me" I see he has a hold of her arm so I quickly grab his arm and twisting it putting him in an arm bar "now let me just teach you a couple of basic lessons here" "Chris" "it's alright baby just some lessons, lesson number 1 always approach a lady with care and compassion, lesson number 2 you always say hi my names whatever it's nice to meet you, lesson number 3 if said lady says she is not interested you say thank you for your time and walk away, lesson number 4 if you ever do touch a lady and she says no thank you, you say my apologies it won't happen again, and for your final lesson, lesson number 5 now I need you to listen to this one because it is the most important one, if you ever put your hands on the woman I love ever again I will break every fucking bone in your body" I start twisting his arm "ahhh" "is that clear!" "Ahhh get off me" "I said is that fucking clear!" "Yes yes it's clear" I let go of his arm "good now you enjoy your night." I give Leah a hug "are you alright my love?" "I am yeah thank you baby" "good." We spend the rest of the night laughing it was nice, Leah doesn't leave my side.
We go home late most of us get into the same taxi as we all live close together. We say goodbye to everyone then go home "did you have a good day my love?" "I did yeah did you?" "I was with you so of course I did." We finish walking home and when we get in Leah goes into the kitchen to get a drink whilst I lock up. I go into the kitchen "you ready for bed my love?" "Yes and no" "what does that mean?" Leah doesn't say anything and pounces on me kissing me deeply I can't help but moan. Leah jumps up so her legs are wrapped around my waist so I pin her up against the wall. Nothing about what is happening right now is gentle everything is pure, raw passionate love. Leah pulls my top and bra off in one movement it amazes me actually so I return the favour. I put Leah down removing her trousers and knickers picking her back up pinning her back against the wall. I break our kiss so I can move to her neck then down to chest taking her nipple in my mouth. I'm so hungry for her right now, Leah throws her head back so I decide to take my opportunity. I move my hand down Leah's body inserting 2 fingers and Leah moans loudly "you feel so good my love" I'm moving my fingers in and out with speed and precision "oh fuck don't stop baby don't stop" "never my love." I keep going until Leah cries out resting her head on my shoulder her breathing heavy, she then looks at me straight in my eyes "wow" I just smile "are you going to put me down?" "Nope!" I carry Leah upstairs putting her on the bed now I'm just going to let yous use your imagination for what happened the rest of the night.