chapter 22 | carved with regret
Debbie had been staying with Amelia all day almost following her around like another Emmy. He was causing her to miss her sister dearly. Mickey had gotten out of prison for 'good behaviour' which Amelia thought was nothing but false information. Inside her house at the dawn of night, Debbie was staying in Emmy's room counting the little girl wasn't using it at the time, along with Logan sleeping in the living room with Amelia's parents away on vacation.
In the conversation leading up to the conversation with the girl; Lucy was almost manipulating the girl in every way she could so she didn't wind up killing herself while they were gone. " We'll call every day to make sure you have your medication," Her father's final words were towards her.
"We didn't want to put more stress on you," Were her mother's final words before leaving the girl to have her house alone. That was just her way of saying that she didn't want Amelia to come and mess up everything for them on the trip so that they could be worried about whether she was going to relapse. But Amelia knew that they were going to be thinking about if she was lying dead on the ground inside their house waiting to be found by someone.
Debbie finished the shower, knocking on the door of Amelia with a towel wrapped around her chest hiding everything thankfully. Amelia opened the door revealing paint on some of her hands and the white tank top she was wearing which already had stains of white because it was the shirt she always wore when she was doing artwork.
"Can you make me pretty?" Debbie questioned her with the girl standing at the door stunned by what she was hearing but completely understanding what she was saying. "How did you get my brother to think you're pretty?"
"I don't think you want your brother to think that." Amelia smiled at her, opening the door and acting like she wasn't flustered by what she was saying counting that she always had at least something for Lip. "Get dressed then I'll show you," She lied.
Debbie smiled turning her heel and walking back out of the room. Something inside of her felt nothing but bad towards Debbie and how she was feeling since she was still too young to be thinking about how she felt about the beauty standards.
Amelia had kept the door open walking away from it, upon hearing the sounds of her phone ringing, she had carefully picked it up to not get any paint onto it. Flipping the phone up, she had put it to her ear. "Hello?"
"We should talk," Vinnie's voice echoed through her ear.
Stunning inside of her body, she felt like a flash whip around her head. Remembering everything that happened leading up to her overdose and all of the pills had her on making her believe they were better than the pills she took for the disorders.
"Now I can talk?" She questioned furrowing her eyebrows remembering him shutting her up that whole dinner party making sure she didn't say anything to make his parents ashamed that they were dating each other. "Talk talk talk, go on."
"I'm sorry"
A laugh had come from Amelia's lips as she tried to cover it but just let it go finding it funny that this was happening. "Okay..." She finished closing her phone after hanging up and putting her phone in the drawer so that she could be left alone.
Closing her eyes she had taken deep breaths remembering how good he had made her feel in many ways. It felt good...to have someone older pay attention to you, more than anyone ever did.
Debbie had stood; now clothed at the doorway, confused by who was on the phone with her, making her feel this way. "Everything okay?" Amelia smiled turning to the girl hiding it.
"Oh yeah," Amelia changed the subject sitting on her bed and moving a painting she was in the middle of doing over. It was covered in confusing shades of red almost trying to turn into a darker colour but unable to. "Debs, where is this coming from?"
"Fiona is always bringing people in." Debbie pointed out. "I want someone. How do you do it."
"I stopped taking my pills" Amelia confessed turning to her, as Debbie looked over at the girl. "And now everyone has to do what I say, it makes me some type of happy...." Now that she was saying it out loud it didn't sound as bad as she thought. "If people are scared of something you'd do they'll do it."
Debbie didn't say anything almost as if she was listening to everything that she was saying. "You don't need to do anything to look pretty." Amelia looked her inside of the eyes. "I stop complying and they take me to the hospital, getting that makes me feel beautiful."
"So I do that."
Amelia thought about it now that she was saying this it wasn't to a normal girl. It was to a child. Not wanting Debbie to turn out the way she did; Amelia finished the conversation by saying. "But you don't need that, yet." Running her hands through the ginger locks, Debbie hugged the burdened girl from the side and tightly almost like she was trying to squish her.
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Hours passed with Debbie being asleep with the sound of snoring coming from Emmy's room. Amelia on the other hand wasn't able to get that kind of sleep thinking about the one-sided conversation she winded up having with Debbie. Admitting that out loud she liked that, talking about it even though all she did was lie about her real problems below her skin and bone.
Laying in her bed and staring at the ceiling waiting for time to tick but nothing but the midnight sky shined into her window. But the silence was chased away by the sound of knocking coming from the front door. Getting up from her bed the quickest way so that she didn't want to wind up getting Debbie awake.
Amelia knew it was probably Lip or Fiona coming over to ask about Debbie and wondered why she was just hiding out inside of her house instead of going home next door. Taking two of her pills before she closed the bedroom door; Amelia rushed down the hallway quietly and down the steps to the front door opening it up.
Once the hot summer air had hit her bundled-up body she felt as if she was burning alive. But the one standing in the night made her burn at the feeling. "You hung up, so" Vinnie stood there not knowing what to do.
Amelia held onto the side of the door feeling bad if she just closed the door in his face. "I wanted to say sorry about everything that happened that night." He held onto his own hands. "I should've been there. how is everything??"
"Hazy day, yknow" Amelia zoned out looking into his eyes as it looked as if he was trying to find some sympathy inside of himself.
"I'm sober." He said to her, before digging into his pocket and pulling out his six-month chip. "I thought you'd want to know counting." Not bringing it up directly, Amelia just nodded her head.
Vinnie had laughed at her wide eyes looking at the chip that he was showing her direction almost not believing it. "Congrats, Oh wow. I didn't expect" The teenager spoke.
"No one did." Vinnie smiled towards her putting the chip back into his pocket. The silence between the two of them was nothing but a source of tension. Amelia looked at him trying not to form tears inside of her eyes. Taking a second Vinnie lunged forward connecting their lips.
Cupping the side of her head, Amelia kissed back- it wasn't because she wanted to. But it was because she didn't feel like anyone was better than him and he was now clean. Going into the house; his hand draped on her shoulder revealing it. Amelia just continued kissing him, missing someone who made her life nothing but some kind of hell.
The two of them stumbled over to the couch, with Vinnie laying Amelia down on it. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder so she didn't fall. Trying to stop herself from continuing but feeling like her stomach was forcing her to do so.
For the rest of the night, it had felt like nothing but betrayal inside of her mind being a step to the process. Feeling almost taken away from the moment. The moment he had entered her was the second she thought there was no turning back.
When everything had finished; Amelia showered running the towel through her head as she was wearing a pink tank top and grey shorts. The shower that she had taken almost ripped off her skin, with the steam and her body aching from the scrubbing of betrayal and shame.
The bodies know more than your mind would ever think.
Not wanting to wake up Debbie she had quietly opened the door to the bathroom to see the little girl standing there at Emmy's bedroom door getting ready to close it.
But the second they had made eye contact it had felt like a stabbing happening inside of her stomach. She knew the look of disappointment when she had seen it, deadness behind her eyes. Neither of them said anything, lips refusing to open and move from the straight line. Not looking at Debbie inside the eyes she had spoken volumes without saying anything fully.
Tearing her apart from the inside out, she had walked blindly into the bedroom that Vinnie was half naked and asleep inside of. Debbie looked up to her, and it was obvious to see the disappointment on her face she only imagined how it was when she found out about Amelia's overdose.
Going back into the bedroom she went over to her bed lay down inside of it and turned her side lamp off. "Don't think about it" Vinnie's tone had told her, inside her mind she screamed.
There was a bit inside of her wanting to promise Debbie that the her she wanted would return maybe one day. just not in this moment. With his arm around her, she had cried herself to sleep silently that night.
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The morning following was slow and boring with a lot of people just sleeping in front of the heat that was happening outside. Amelia was almost scared to leave her room hiding inside of the blankets. Vinnie was downstairs acting as if this house had belonged to him the whole time.
But Debbie on the other hand was getting ready to go back to her house to get the rest of her stuff for the summer. Inside the kitchen, stood Lip and Ian talking about whatever he and Karen were doing and about Jody's placement in Karen's life.
"She hasn't even slept with him yet." Lip pointed out to his brother trying to finish whatever work he had left in front of him. Trying to come up with some excuse which is the reason why Karen won't be with him. "Maybe he's a eunuch."
"Maybe she just likes him." Ian pointed out finally looking up and talking to his brother's rant that he was going on and stopping it.
Debbie walked down the steps holding Liam inside of her hands acting like she had been there all night. Causing Lip and Ian to turn to her with furrowed eyebrows, "Lip, why did you sleep in Debbie's room last night?" Fiona asked moving things around inside the living room furrowing her eyebrows and walking into the kitchen.
Lip had pointed towards Debbie; "Ask her."
"I moved Liam.-" Debbie shortly answered putting Liam down inside of his chair. Before continuing what she was doing beforehand. "I can't be in the same room where Liam is constantly masturbating."
Carl who was sitting at the counter chuckled. "It's not masturbating if nothing comes out."
"According to whom?" Fiona had questioned.
"My friend Jack O'Donnell." Carl had finished before the door opened revealing Logan opening the door.
Lip had seen him turning his head down and leaning more on the counter almost claiming his dominance between him. "It's kinda true." Lip pointed out.
"Not legally true." Ian stood up getting ready to leave with Logan.
"What?" Logan asked furrowing his eyebrows.
"Nothing," Lip sat up, Fiona hit the boy with the rag inside of her hand going over to the washing machine.
Logan didn't say anything turning to Ian knowing he would say but Carl was the one who continued the conversation. "Liam can be arrested for masturbating?" He commented, causing Logan to stunningly raise his eyebrows.
"I mean" Logan gave into it turning his head a little bit.
Lip continued to joke. "What is the age where it's inappropriate to arouse yourself in front of others." sitting up fully. "Even if nothing comes out?"
"Two years old," Debbie answered for him, causing Logan to smile turning to the redhead.
Fiona turned around in her bra, messy hair and her sleeping mask on her forehead. Trying to put a new shirt on, "Hey, Gallagher and passing; I need focus and cooperation. Unfortunately, Frank has rented out his room to a pregnant woman."
"I told them." Ian pointed out.
"You let her in?" She asked Fiona.
Debbie gave Liam his bottle, "She let herself in. She had a key."
"Where did you sleep Last Night, Debs?" The lip was uninformed like Fiona was causing the girl to turn to her brother.
Fiona finished putting her shirt on. "She slept at Amelia's" Walking over to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. "Since Lucy and Owen are out of town." Lip had gone silent turning to Ian who rolled his eyes at his brother.
"She's sober, Lip" Ian pointed out. "She's not giving Debbie drugs."
Logan had turned to Lip confused about why he was thinking this. "You know, Vinnie was the one who gave her those drugs, Amelia was never addicted before that Lip get your head out of your ass."
"Child present," Fiona warned him, causing Carl to laugh at the curse words flying around the kitchen.
"Where were you at the hospital?" Lip murmured to himself.
Logan stayed silent biting the inside of his cheek. "Ian, I'll be in the car," Unlike Lip, Logan knew if he laid a hand on Lip or any of the Gallaghers Amelia would drop him in a heartbeat caring more about them than she did herself since they already had a lot on their plate most of the time.
When Logan had walked out of the house shutting the door behind him, everyone turned to Lip who silently drank the coffee in front of him. "Don't be an asshole, you weren't in the hospital," Fiona whispered to him not wanting Carl or Debbie to hear. "Debs, did Amelia take her meds before you left?"
"I think so, Vinnie was with her though" These Were words that she wanted to make sure Logan wasn't around for.
The second his name was mentioned. "Vinnie is there now?" Fiona furrowed her eyebrows, Debbie nodded her head with Lip storming out of the kitchen and Fiona followed along with Ian going to the back to get Logan and tell him.
Carl grabbed his pop tart and rushed after his storming brother interested in a fight.
༶
Inside Amelia's house; Vinnie was inside of the kitchen holding a cup of tea in his hand, smirking to himself. But his peacefulness had stopped everything by the knocking that was at the door. Vinnie had put the cup down, with Amelia's voice echoing from her open bedroom door. "Who is it, Vinnie?" She questioned trying to keep her voice soft and kind.
"Uhm, No one" He lied, grabbing the doorknob and opening it to reveal Lip, Fiona, and Carl standing back. "Amelia's sleeping."
"Get the fuck out of her house," Fiona argued grimacing at the smirk laying on the lips of Vinnie unknowingly. "Where is she?"
"She's sober, I'm sober." Vinnie put his hands up in defence, almost not trying to let them into the house. "Do you need a pin for evidence?"
Fiona's mouth almost dropped at the words coming out of the nineteen-year-old's mouth. "Your fucking joking." Fiona chuckled, putting her hands on her hips. Lip stared at him almost trying to hold himself back, honestly not knowing why he was here if he didn't even want to talk to Amelia in the moment. "You're using her to get your full rehab chip? Is she a step?"
"Step?"
"Frank's an alcoholic he's tried the steps multiple times, now is the part of the step." While Fiona had waited a second the sounds of footsteps coming down the steps with Amelia wearing no bra, but a tank top and the same grey shorts from last night.
Lip looked at Amelia seeing that she was okay and looked sober. "don't lie, Vin-"
"Everything's okay, Amelia" Vinnie had pointed out to her turning his head to see the girl standing and leaning on the banister on the second step going down the stairs. Lip started to turn around now seeing that she was okay and sober, now just wanting to walk away. "Listen, Me and Amelia are just friends just like you and Amelia are just friends...right Lip? Even though it didn't turn out that good for you,"
Those were the final taunts coming from Vinnie's mouth. Lip didn't take a second before swinging his fist, clocking it dead into Vinnie's mouth. The boy continued to swing since he had been practising almost all summer his fighting. But this time Vinnie had fought back, punching the boy everywhere he could get his hits in.
Fiona gasped a bit again almost screaming mentally at Lip. "Ian!" Fiona had shouted knowing that Ian was the only one who was tough enough for them to do anything. Amelia stood there almost in shock about what was happening in front of her.
Her heart was almost in her stomach at this conflict that was happening in front of her. They had continued running back and forth with punches, Lip's nose was bleeding along with his lip, but it looked like Vinnie had winded up getting into a gang fight, with the only things bleeding from Lip being the cuts he already had.
Quickly Ian ran into the house with Fiona moving in Amelia's direction wrapping her arms around the girl almost in a tight hug. Ian had put his hands between his brother, holding him back from throwing any more punches to the guy leaning on the counter trying to catch his breath.
"Stay away from her," Lip finished before spitting the blood that was in his mouth towards him and shoving Ian off of him. Lip stormed out of the house and went outside shoving Logan on the way in.
"Lucky I don't press charges." Vinnie had winded up threatening them.
Fiona's heart dropped and Amelia felt as if she heard it drop knowing they didn't have the money to deal with charges. Logan heard this turning and now paying attention to what had happened. "Amelia's still a minor and you're nineteen, do you that dumb to charge press Vinnie, along with drugs will be mentioned and your mom and dad will find out."
"Fuck you man," Vinnie rubbed the blood that was on his nose. "I'm leaving," he told Amelia before grabbing his jacket and keys that were hanging up and walking out of the house as if nothing had happened.
Finally feeling her heart catch up with her stomach. Fiona ran her hand through her hair thanking Logan with Amelia not there anymore feeling herself disconnected from everything.