'Hi.' ~ Thunder.
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Lylas' POV:
It's been rough. Though I've had one heck of a support team to get out of my trance it's still been tough. The first week that had passed consisted of me randomly crying, a numb feeling that consumed me, staying in bed no matter how many times I wanted to get up, rarely eating, my phone not shutting up, and of course Luca holding me tightly throughout everything. I deeply hated how it was always me falling onto him for emotional support yet I never got to support him.
Flashback Begins
The faint voice of Luca rung in my ears but nothing really got comprehended by my brain; everything around me was just happening. Lucas familiar cologne roped me in but I couldn't do anything. My crying wouldn't stop no matter how hard I tried to control myself. Luca held me tightly as he spoke words but they didn't register in my mind...maybe an apology? I wasn't sure.
After so many tears being shed I was once again forced to relive the events that happened when I was describing it to the police. Throughout this whole thing Luca held me in a tight hug. After they left Luca led me upstairs and showered me before placing whatever clothes on me and laying me in bed. On the way up here I saw Estrella apologizing with tears in her eyes which made me want to tell her it wasn't her fault but I couldn't talk, I couldn't form any sentences in my mind after reliving everything over as I explained.
I recall seeing Luca giving her a kiss on the forehead and telling her to give me a little time. Lorenzo looked pained as he hugged her and watched us walk up the stairs. I hated being such a burden to everyone around me. Even as Luca showered me I saw tears streak on his cheeks and his glossy eyes...he cried?
As I laid in bed Luca hugged me from behind and kept telling me how sorry he was, I felt his tears touch my skin and though I once again wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault and that I was okay I couldn't. I wasn't okay, though it wasn't his fault I just found myself curling up and staring into space.
Flashback End
"What's the plan?" I asked as Luca and I ate breakfast.
"I was thinking maybe we could spend the day at the beach, maybe a picnic in the park nearby?" A smile formed in my lips as I nodded.
"Absolutely." My smile happily stayed on my lips as we went on about our day.
Flashback Begins
"Do you want to try getting out of bed today?" Luca was stooped down to my level next to our bed.
My eyes became teary as I shook my head. My understanding boyfriend just gave me a warm smile with the eyes to match as he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and nodded.
"It's okay." When he walked away and exited the room I closed my eyes and felt my tears stream down my cheek as I silently cried.
I was so traumatized but what hurt the most was that distant look of pain in Lucas eyes. The way he tried to put on a brave face but I knew he was hurting just as much as me. The hate I felt towards myself for putting him through so much was killing me. He deserved just as much support as he's been giving me but I didn't have the courage to even open my eyes day to day anymore.
The day went by with him trying his best to comfort me and keep me alive which made the guilt kill me. Another day of me just being there Luca once again stooped down to my level next to our bed and gave me a smile.
"How about we just open the curtains to let in some light?" I nodded and he smiled happily as he did just that. The brightness filled the room and it helped. He once again came back to my side.
"Do you want breakfast?" It took me a bit but I shook my head not feeling in the mood.
"I'll bring you some just incase you get hungry, yeah?" He nodded with a smile and it made me nod in agreement which made him slightly chuckle as he kissed my forehead. After a bit Luca came back with a smile and a plate before placing it on the nightstand and stooping down next to the bed.
"You have visitors." Luca gave me a smile as he held my hands and gave them a kiss. Sofi and all the other girls came into view and Luca left us. A well needed conversation was spoken by them but I had no input.
It felt almost like forever but the courage finally came to me after about a week or two. The support of everyone really did help. What made this truly happen though was Luca and I were laying in bed me still with my back towards him. Guessing he thought I was asleep Luca combed some of my hair away from my face still from behind me and giving me space. A kiss was placed on the back of my head and his arm hesitantly went around my waist.
He was so considerate, he gave me space, yet still tried to encourage me to take control of my life. I waited until I knew he was asleep before turning around under his arm. My hands tucked under my cheek as I just stared at Luca taking him in. I hadn't taken how tired and drained he looked which broke my heart.
I watched as he steadily breathed and looked at the bags under his eyes. Luca looked a little paler and his face looked thinner, I'm guessing all the worrying about me had made him stop his regular routine trying to take care of me. With a soft sigh I just kept taking him in as I took my right hand and started raking it gently through his hair to not wake him.
Mid combing through his eyes slowly opened and I found myself consumed in his honey eyes. Our steady breathing proceeded as I pulled away my hand from his hair and placed it back under my cheek. Luca and I just stared into each other's eyes and I could see what he wanted.
Reading his thoughts and finally feeling ready I slowly enclosed the space between our bodies. Luca held my waist with the hand from the arm that was draped around my waist and lightly squeezed it. Slowly I neared my face to his and kissed him gently. When we pulled away we just stared into each other's eyes as Luca smiled happily seeing me finally feeling like I could live.
Luca brought a hand up and combed some of my hair away from my face before placing that hand on my cheek caressing it with his thumb. He slowly leaned in and I met him halfway kissing his lips. Once again pulling back I wanted more...and Luca saw that which was why he pulled me to the point of our bodies pressing up against each other and our lips attaching. What started slowly began to grow.
"Do you want to?" Luca asked once he had pulled back and I nodded. He pulled me onto him and I went down kissing his lips kissing so badly his touch.
This was truly the only way for me to feel better. I wanted to feel the touch of someone who loved me and someone who I loved; and Lucas touch always made me sane. Just his kisses alone made me feel alive and not so messed up.
"I love you.." my voice broke and Luca just kissed me nodding.
"I love you more." Luca kissed me again.
Flashback End
Luca has been my rock, and my everything. As we cloud gazed on top of a big blanket in the park my mind wondered around about the last few weeks. Lucas been so weird after I've been out of my slump. He's still been there for me but he's been secretive and I sort of didn't like the feeling I was getting. My eyes shifted to him and his eyes were already on me.
"What's wrong?" He asked with a soft smile which made me smile and shake my head. Maybe another time.
"Nothing at all."
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Xoxo,
~Thunder~
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**Editing will be done later**