The meeting just ended, and I came back to my office.
"What are you doing?" I asked astounded by the sight my eyes were witnessing.
Tanmay was busy eating something, and the looks on his face clearly showed how much he was enjoying it. He was wearing headphones, watching something on his laptop so he didn't hear me.
"I see you're so carefree." I walked near and stood behind him. My jaw drops when I see the dish he was having so peacefully.
This otter was eating mango custard, and that too made by my wife.
"Goodness, This is so tastyyyyyyy~~" He squeals as flavors enhanced in his mouth.
Tanmay fills another spoonful of custard, but I stop him before he could fill in his mouth.
I grabbed his hand, and the spoon drops back in the bowl from his grip.
"What?" He complains frowning at me, taking off his headphones.
I didn't bother to pass a grin and grabbed the bowl of custard. "Who said you could eat this?"
I fill a spoonful of custard in my mouth.
My eyes fall close as sweetness burst in my mouth, that suddenly makes me want to see her. I wonder if she tastes as sweet as this custard.
"Bhai!" My not so pure fantasy was broken when the ugly screech reached my ear. I found Tanmay glaring at me, "Bhabhi said we shall share it."
I scoffed and took a seat on the chair near him. "I don't share. Specially, when it's something that's only meant for me. And you've had enough already.
He raises a brow at me as things didn't go in his mind right.
"I mean I don't feel like sharing something that my wife made just for me."
He looks away cocking a brow at me. "You're so obsessed over your wife."
I am unable to find any lie in his words. "I am, but sad that she doesn't even care." I say shoving another spoon of custard in my mouth.
Tanmay looks back at me, resting his face on his hands. "Is something wrong between you guys?"
I was afraid if I could give him any answer. I do not even want to talk about it.
"Did Zoya come here herself?" I asked to divert the conversation.
He nods his head, his eyes fixed on the bowl of custard. I'm not giving it to him.
"Yes, she came here herself. But you were in the meeting hall with the Johnson's, so I didn't tell you. I even asked her if I should call you, but she refused. She said she didn't want to disturb you."
I would have called him an idiot, but this time I was thankful. Even I myself don't know how I'm going to give her any answer.
"She was searching for you. But hopefully I met her, for the first time. She's really beautiful to be honest. Agar aapki shadi nahi hui hoti then I had a chance to—
I snapped my head toward him reluctantly and pointed the spoon at him. "Watch your words, Tanmay. She's my wife." my words were clear as snow.
He knew I rarely joked. "I get it. Cool down. Bhabhi hain voh meri." He chuckles.
I take the spoon back, and he heaves a relieved sigh.
"You know I burned my cousin, because he touched her." He couldn't blink hearing my words. But I just smiled sheepishly, "He made her skin burn, so made it even to him."
'Such a psycho." I expected him to say.
But Tanmay chuckles instead. "You should have killed him." His face showed no trace of guilt, fear or disgust. He was like so proud of me.
"You don't hate me for doing such to him?"
He rolls his eyes relaxing himself on the chair. "Murders are accepted, but cheating and even trying to touch women without their consent is unacceptable. He should've died actually."
"Zoya asked me for a promise that I won't kill him, so I didn't."
I told him, to which he just smiles.
"She was always so worried about others, doesn't matter even if they harmed her."
A grin lingers upon my face as I remembered something. And once again, I thrive into the deep lane of nostalgia.
"Nischay stop it, He will die!" Zoya cries, pleading as she pulls my jacket from behind. But I couldn't leave this motherfucker.
"Saale tune haath kaise lagaya use?!!" I grunted shoving another punch on his jaw.
Zoya was pulling me from behind, telling me to leave him but I couldn't. Because my blood was just boiling right now. How dare he touch her?
A couple of students are grabbing me, and another few are holding him. This fucker! I could kill him my blood was driving so fierce right now.
They were trying to pull me away from him, but he was trapped under me, and I was punching him, till my knuckles were bleeding. I was beating him that he couldn't get a chance to fight back. I was punching him endlessly until he passed out.
"It's enough, Nischay! You'll get us all in trouble!! Please leave him!!"
She was finally able to pull me away from him. Not because she got some strength. But because I was satisfied with his condition that I made just now.
He was messed up, in blood.
Maybe I would get punished, or most probably get rusticated from the school, because I beat a kid so mercilessly that he probably was going to be in a coma.
But I don't regret even a single punch. He deserved it because he made her cry.
I turn my head around to look back at the kid, while Zoya was pulling me to god knows where. Students are around him, perhaps because he isn't going to wake up any soon.
"I gave him a good lesson." I muttered, smiling at my work.
Zoya stops in the middle of her tracks and glares at me.
"You think you did a very good job beating him so brutally that he is probably going to die?!" there are tears in her eyes as words rolled off her mouth.
"I think I did a very great job beating him, because he made you cry." I retorted.
"You don't care about anything!" She starts to hit me, punch me gathering all her strength. And I don't stop her. She breaks into tears getting tired of her own punches and hugs me tightly. "What if the dean punishes you?"
I wrapped my arms around her kissing her head. "The worst, she would suspend me from school. If that happens, we will play at our house in the evening then."
"You think everything runs on your fingers." She sobs as she breaks the hug. "You got hurt too."
I notice the worry on her face as she holds my hands.
It hurts a little when she presses my back of my hand, but I hissed more on purpose to see her reaction. "Ashhh....Zoya aaram se—
She looks at me worriedly, and her voice comes out soft. "Dard hora hai?"
I nod to her innocently.
She glares at me and runs back to our classroom. I wait for her. She returns back grabbing our schoolbags.
"What was the need to beat him so much?!" She grunts holding my arm, and starts walking down the stairs, towards the school gates.
I hiss in pain, this time, really. It hurts.
We crossed the gates of our school, and reached the field.
"Why are you holding my bag?" I asked her when I noticed. "Give mine, it's heavy." I reached out to take my bag but she moves back.
"You're hurt, and it's not that heavy. I am strong enough to hold two schoolbags."
she starts walking ahead of me.
"You promise you won't tell mom & dad about it?" I shout from behind her.
She nods and sits upon a rock. I walk over to her and sat beside her.
She opens her schoolbag, and takes out the first-aid-box. It's the same one we made in the school science project.
"You still have this?" I ask her, smiling.
She nods as she opens the bottle of dettol. "No one used it since then, but I guess you need it today. I am going to be a doctor anyways, so nevermind."
My little miss doctor.
I stared at her, when she dips the cotton in dettol and dabs it over my knuckles.
I am so lost in her, that it doesn't even hurt.
After cleaning the wound with dettol, Zoya takes a little of antiseptic on her fingertip, and applies it over my knuckles. She then unwraps the bandage and wraps it around my hand, securing my wound. "Now, you're free of any bacteria."
When she's done, she smiles looking at my hand, being proud of her work. She kisses the back of my hand. "Look, I'm going to be a great doctor." she mutters. Happiness ringing in her voice.
"Ofcourse, you'll be the best doctor." I tell her, staring into her eyes.
"You know what," She says softly.
And hugs me tightly, all of a sudden.
"I'll be the only one to heal your wounds, and scars every time when you'll need me. Promise?"
"Promise."
Memories, are hurtful joys.
I dip the spoon back into the bowl to fill it again, but it got none. I stared back in the bowl when I tasted an empty spoon and no sweet in my tastebuds.
"It's finished." Tanmay tells me.
I was so occupied with my thoughts that I didn't realize the bowl was empty.
Tanmay scoffs at me softly. "Are you always thinking about her?"
Yes.
I stared at him for seconds wishing to answer him, but I couldn't. The pace of heart didn't let me. There are no good things left to tell him anyways. He would probably call me crazy.
The progress in our relationship. Everything was all my own anticipation. I was living in my own sweet fantasy and never thought about her feelings.
Stupid of me to think that she could ever catch feelings for me.
What could I tell him?
That she broke the promise?
How could I tell her to heal the wound she gave me herself.
I cleared my throat and got up from my seat. "It's late. You should leave."
🕊️
"Where were you? And why so late, Nischay?" I was welcomed in my house by unending questions from my mom.
"Dinner?" She repeats again when I stepped upstairs to my room.
I stop and return to answer her, closing my eyes heaving a tiresome sigh. "I had dinner, maa. Why do you worry so much about me?"
She walks over to me, and smiles holding my face in his hands.
"Ek maa hi toh hoti hai, bachha chahe kitna bada hi kyun na ho jaaye, fikar humesha lagi rehti hai." She says softly, caressing my cheeks as if I was a small kiddo.
I smiled and hugged her, probably wanting to laugh outa my pain.
Only she was concerned about me. Only she cared about me. And no one else gave a fuck.
"Yes, after all maa toh maa hoti hai na." She cups my face again as I broke the hug.
"Then keep your wife happy, Nischay. She's going to be a mom too."
Doesn't matter how much I want to run away from the reality, it keeps haunting me even in my dreams. And now I was just as sure that love wasn't meant for me.
"Samajh raha hai na tu?" My guilty daydream was broken by my mother's voice.
There was no way I could let her down.
So, it didn't matter how awfully my gut was twisting to think of the day I would be left alone. I shrugged the sorrow and smiled at her, so she wouldn't guess that I was fighting a war withing myself. "I promise I will try being the best husband maa. I will take care of her."
She smiles and presses a soft kiss upon my forehead, filled with affection.
Expectations.
That I was going to let down.
~
Zoya wasn't in the room when I entered, but I know she's home. Because the room is filled with her scent. I can feel her presence, her warmth, and I know she was right here just a few minutes back. Most probably she could be working in the balcony, busy writing something, or researching something on her laptop.
I walked to the balcony. And just I had thought, she's here.
She's leaning against the pillows, sitting on the mattress that we had set in the balcony. Her hair flows with the wind as she's busy on her laptop. A notepad and some books beside her on the mattress, and she's busy writing her god knows very important notes.
Her hair falling upon her face, and she pushes them back as they disturb her. She's wearing her rubberband in her hand. I almost smiled as she swirls the pen in her fingers. When she gets tired, she leans against the balcony and stares at the sky, gazing at the moon.
Who would say this woman is a freaking gynecologist? I mean miss still keeps working late nights as if she has some really relevant assignments to do.
And I'm staring at her being unbothered.
Stupid whipped husband, go get a shower!
Self-realization hits me, and I startled when I remembered I had to ignore her.
Impossible.
—
I was done taking a shower and changed into my clothes. Because Zoya wasn't in the room, it was easier to ignore her presence.
"What are you doing?" I froze at my spot when she calls me, as I was grabbing her dupatta from the wardrobe.
shit
It was impossible to sleep without her, her fragrance. I needed something to hug, or I wouldn't be able to sleep. And ofcourse, I couldn't use her brassiere to sleep. We weren't so close in this relationship yet.
I cleared my throat and shoved the dupatta back into the wardrobe. She was staring at me while a look of confusion lingers on her face.
I clench-unclench my fists staring at her and walked to the bed without answering her as if she was never present in the room. And I take her pillow from the bed purposely, because I couldn't get ahold of her dupatta.
I walk to the door, but she interrupts again. "Where are you going with that pillow?"
"I'm going to sleep in the guest room." I said without looking at her and grasped upon the doorknob.
But she grabs my arm way before I could reach out. "You're going—what?"
The look on her face as if she's going to eat me just now. Or probably she is going to break into tears. It hurts, so much.
But if I was supposed to be all happy and cheerful even after knowing that my wife was pregnant with her ex's baby, and she was lying about everything all along, I'm so sorry but I do feel emotions too.
"I said I'm—
"No, you're not!"
She cuts me off, grasping on the pillow and pulls me close.
"Why are you ignoring me?"
Her eyes soften showing how hurt she was. I look how tight she's holding me her nails are digging on my arms. Even my heart is pacing so fast I want to embrace her, but maybe I will end up ruining her so worse that no one but only I could be able to mold her again.
"I didn't ignore you."
Here goes another lie.
She shakes her head looking at me as tears dwell up in her eyes. Her arms snake under mine and she captivates me in her hold, pressing herself against me.
"Punish me if you want, but don't hate me please Nischay."
My heart clenches to see her writhe because of me.
"Stop it, Zoya. How can you even think that I might hate you, ever?" I hugged her, being defeated by my own heart.
This little stupid heart couldn't restrain itself seeing love getting hurt.
"You are ignoring me, Nischay. It hurts so much."
She says and pressed against my chest while her arms are around me, and she sounds so broken. How could I resist the pace of her heat that was beating wildly against mine?
"I didn't ignore you, Zoya. You know I can never—
She moved away from me and looks right in my eyes. "Then why didn't you come home last night?" she complains. "You didn't even answer my calls."
I take my hands off her and gripped the pillow closer to me. "I was busy that night and got drunk." she stares at me without saying anything.
Lord, her eyes. As if they caught my lie.
I gulped and looked away from her. "I gotta sleep, I'm tired."
I turned around to reach the door, but she says again. "You can't even sleep with me now?"
A throbbing pain rises out of a sudden when she speaks. It hurts to even hear such awful words from her mouth.
"I'm making it easier for you, Zoya. Isn't it?"