LIZ'S P.O.V
It's early September, the morning sun gently kisses my skin, my back pressed against the grass beside the pool. The wind touches my skin softly, sending a wave of goosebumps through my bare arms. Willow rests on my stomach, both of us being bathed by the morning sun as we lay in the backyard.
Without any hesitation I can say I feel happy.
These past few weeks have been amazing, it almost feels wrong to admit that I felt happiness. I was still grieving over Zack, I don't think I'll ever let the grief wash away, after all he was someone I loved dearly. I still dreamt about him sometimes, but the nightmare turned into sweet dreams filled with old memories.
Sometimes I'd wake up with a hole in my heart. I can't tell if the nightmares or the sweet dreams haunted me more, either way they both hurt, but I was slowly starting to lose any emotion when it came to them.
That night was an insurmountable memory, and nobody will ever understand the pain I went through except Harry. Both of us lost someone very dear to us that night, and we were both the cause for that loss. It still hurts me to think about it, but I've accepted the fact that no matter how much regret and guilt I feel I can't change a single thing. I might've been selfish, but I just wanted to live. I just hope that one day I can finally be free of the guilt that was caused by my choices that night.
I hope soon I'll be washed away of the guilt I've been feeling since I was a little girl.
I was slowly starting to adjust to my new life, it took some time but I got used to living here. I liked living here, Harry's house was peaceful and quiet, it had an amazing view of the city and some nights I'd spend by the pool just admiring the sunset, but most of all it felt safe and that's all that mattered.
I also wasn't alone, I had Harry and Willow now.
Harry and I drove to the vet the morning after we found her. Our plan was to get her checked by a professional, make sure she's healthy and search for her owner. I even had pictures and posters printed out to put out around the area where we found her, but our plan changed quickly.
The doctor that day told us heart wrenching news that almost made me wish I stayed home. Willow was neglected by her old owner, starved, and dehydrated. She wasn't doing good physically and the vet told us it'd take her some time to recover.
We never looked for the old owner, they didn't deserve Willow back, so now she was officially staying with us.
A month later and I think I can say that Willow is happy too, I think she really likes it too, and I think she feels safe with us too.
After we got her checked out by the vet we drove to the pet store, Harry picked out a bunch of toys, cat food and a bed that he had placed in his room, she never used it though.
Willow took any chance she can to jump in bed with us. Some mornings I'd find her sleeping peacefully at the edge of the bed by our legs, sometimes she'd cuddle into Harry and I; mostly Harry though.
Harry says he doesn't like the idea of a cat sleeping in the same bed as him, but I know secretly, deep down, he loves having Willow close.
"I am begging you, Liz, put the cat down and have some breakfast," Harry's thick voice comes from inside the kitchen. I push myself onto my elbows, watching as he walks out into the backyard, sliding the glass door behind him.
I smile at him, watching him walk closer to us, but that smile suddenly turns into a small frown when Willow jumps out of my hold and runs towards Harry. She stops by his feet, excitedly looking at him as she makes circles by his legs. He kneels to the ground, picking up Willow with one arm. She relaxes into his hold, resting her head on his chest.
"She only likes you because you spoil her with expensive toys," I sat up straight, my voice laced with jealousy as I rolled my eyes..
It was no surprise that Willow preferred Harry over me, she almost never leaves his side. I think she feels more at comfort with him than me, I don't know why, maybe she just picks up on my anxious state sometimes where as Harry has been calm all month.
My bare feet touch the warm grass, walking towards the glass doors that led to the kitchen. I slide them wide open, using both hands to drag the glass aside. My nostrils are immediately hit with the sweet smell of coffee and pancakes.
I spin around on my heel, watching Harry carefully as he slides the door closed with one hand, while the other is used to hold Willow.
"I smell jealousy, Liz," Harry chuckles, putting Willow down onto the marble floor.
"I'm not jealous," I raise my eyebrows, "I'm just pointing out that if it wasn't for you spoiling her, she would've liked me more."
"Mhm," he hums under his breath, stepping right in front of me. His right hand reaches over to my face, holding my jaw gently as he places his other hand on my waist. I melt into his touch, my whole world explodes once he kisses me softly.
I'll never get quite used to him being this gentle with me, this type of tenderness felt unusual to me. It felt so surreal I almost didn't know how to react.
"I'll see you tonight," he breathes out. I explode with Euphoria under his touch, my heart beating a thousand times stronger once I feel his lips on mine again.
"Please be safe," I pull away too quickly. My forehead rests on his, my eyes closed shut as I try to relax into his touch. This felt too intimate, it was starting to scare me. I choked down the worry in my voice as I pull away, looking at him with serious eyes, "Promise me you'll be safe."
"I promise," his breathing is quick and tired. He leans in again to kiss me, but I pull away quickly. His smile turns into a frown, but he doesn't say anything about my sudden rejection. "I'll be back by midnight."
Why do I keep ruining everything good in my life?
I've lived inside this bubble for the past month, I sheltered myself from the outside world, I built a shield around me that protected me from the harsh reality that was trying to tear me down. I lived inside this fantasy, got lost in a made up world to the point where I almost forgot about the sad reality waiting for me out there. At least I felt happy, even if it was temporary.
I was living in a fantasy world, Harry wasn't.
The galas were thankfully over, but tragically that didn't mean that Whelve would disappear too. Ecstasy was called in for a job and since they are signed to a contract there was no refusing it, and there was no getting out of it.
I pleaded for Harry to tell me the details of the job, where it would be held and what it was, but no amount of pleading changed his mind.
I wish there was a possible way for them to finally leave Whelve, but sadly there was none.
You leave Whelve, you die.
I give him a small smile, hugging him before he starts walking away. Willow is quick to run after him, her little paws running behind him as she tries her best to catch up.
I pick her up before she can reach the front door and run outside again. Last time she ran out the front door we spent half an hour looking for her, only for her to be sleeping peacefully behind one of the bushes.
I hold her gently in one arm, the other brushing behind her ear, "Don't forget that I'm the one who lets you sleep in bed with us, Willow."
I walk back into the living room, gently purring Willow down on the marble floor. I let her jump on the white couch as I make my way into the kitchen, my stomach sounding with hunger as I reach the kitchen.
The house was quiet, more quiet than usual.
It almost felt too empty.
I sit on the kitchen table, taking a sip of the sweet coffee. I eat the blueberry pancakes alone in silence, finishing my coffee before I drop the dirty dishes into the sink.
Turns out I really got used to having Harry around, because it's been balrey half an hour since he left and I was already dying with boredom.
I've been practically glued to him for the past month, that not having him around felt weird.
My boredom was overpowered with overwhelming worry and aching fear. I could only sit here and hope that all of them were okay, I hated hoping because it only left you hurt in the end.
It was tearing me apart, not knowing what all of them were doing now.
My phone vibrates in my front pocket, with my right hand I pick it up, reading the message Lexi left me.
From Lexi
Let us in girl, open up the gates.
I furrow my brows in confusion at her message, buy still I do what she says. I walk towards the front door, opening up the front gates by using the little iPad attached to the wall.
I unlock the front door, walking out into the driveway only to see Lexi driving into the driveway in a pink convertible. I stare at the vintage car confused, but my eyes find their way onto Niall in the passenger seat who was slurping a red slushy without a care in the world.
What is Niall doing here?
"What the hell is this?" I walk down the small steps, making my way to her pink convertible that I have never seen before.
"We rented a car," Lexi smiles, getting up from the driver's seat.
"Why?"
"Because, Liz," she takes my shoulders into her arms, smiling happily at me, "we want to have some fun."
I stare at both of them with puzzlement, not yet certain why they are casually renting cars on a Monday morning.
Niall jumps out of the car, not bothering to waste two seconds and open the door like most people. He walks up to me, holding out another red slushy, "We got one for you too, it kind of melted though," I take the red slushie from him, looking between both of them in confusion.
"Get dressed, we are going shopping," Lexi let her hold on my shoulders, mustering a happy smile.
"What is going on?" I question again, nothing but uncertainty in my voice.
"Just get dressed, Liz," Lexi rolls her eyes, jumping into the link convertible, her fingers flipping through various radio channels. She pulls her hand away, smiling confidently once ABBA starts blasting loudly on the radio.
"Niall, don't you guys have a job today?" I pull him aside, holding his arm. I make sure my voice is loud enough to be heard through the loud music, but quiet enough so that Lexi wouldn't hear our conversation.
"No?" He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, looking at me like this is the first time he's hearing about it.
"Are you sure?" I let go off his arm.
"Positive," he answers it like a question, staring at me weirdly. I think he's even more confused than I am.
Did Harry lie to me again? I don't know why he would though, I can't come up with a single reason that would lead him to lying about his whereabouts. I thought we were finally more open with each other, was I wrong about that too?
I walk back into our room, quickly changing into a different pair of clothes before I walk out of the house again, giving Willow a quick goodbye kiss.
"So where are we going?" I open up the door to the backseat, sitting down on the white leather as I pull onto the seatbelt.
Lexi drives out of the driveway, speeding up as we leave the lavish neighbourhood, "We are getting lunch first, and then we are going to the beach."
"I don't have a bathing suit, Lexi, why didn't you tell me before?"
"We are going shopping, Liz, you can buy a new one," I don't need to see her face to know that she's rolling her eyes at me.
"Yeah?" I raise my eyebrows even though she can't see me, taking a small sip of the slushy Niall gave me. "With what money?"
She clears her throat dramatically, pulling out a black amex car between her fingers.
I let out a gasp, "Whose card is that?"
"Mine," Niall slurps his slushy, getting annoyed once he realizes he's drank the whole thing.
I hand him my slushy, not having the desire to finish the whole drink, "We are not spending your money, what has gotten into you two?"
"It's girls day bitch!" Niall laughs dramatically, slurping my slushie without a care in the world.
*
According to Lexi and Niall girls day lasts all day, which is how we ended up at Venice Beach at 10 p.m.
The moon's reflection looked magical against the ocean, the waves hitting the shore made a serene sound that sent a wave of calmness through my body.
I was aching in pain though, my shoulders from the amount of bags I was holding and my feet from the amount of walking I did today. Apparently shopping at one mall wasn't enough, so we went to three, even though ever single mall had the same stores.
I paid for everything myself, refusing to use Niall's money. I spent 100$ alone today which was enough to make my heart ache with stress. So, instead of saving the rest of the money in my bank account I bought myself three tacos and a diet coke.
Sipping my coke, I'm sitting on the dry sand, watching the waves hit the shore with Lexi and Niall beside me.
"I think this might be the best gift I've ever gotten," Lexi waves her wrist around, the gold friendship bracelet moving around her skin.
During our trip to the second mall Niall dramatically gasped at the luxury store in front of him, theatrically announcing that the three of us were best friends and we needed something to prove that. Those were his words, verbatim.
We walked inside the store with no intention of buying anything, at least Lexi and I planned on saving our money, Niall had different plans. The moment we walked inside the store he gasped, pointing his finger at a rose gold bracelet with a red heart pendant on it.
He bought three of them.
Lexi and I argued with him inside the store like little kids, begging him not to buy the golden bracelets, but he just refused to listen. We tried dragging him out to the point where I'm sure we embarrassed ourselves badly, but turns out Niall is a lot stronger than he looks.
So now, the three of us have matching friendship bracelets on our wrists.
As much as I hate that he spent money on us, I had to admit the bracelets were gorgeous.
"Thank you again," I give him a genuine smile, Lexi just gives him a tight hug from where she's sitting.
"It's nothing at all, really," he shrugs his shoulders, giving us a tight lipped smile. "Now let's get talking about you," he points his index finger at me, raising his brows.
"What about me?" I raise my eyes, taking a big bite out of my taco.
"You and Harry," Lexi finishes the words for him, giving me a small smirk as she takes a sip of her sprite.
I cough, feeling the taco go harshly down my throat. I let out a chocking cough, my cheeks turning red from embarrassment as my friends watch me with visible smirks on their face.
"Drink," Lexi hands me my coke, chuckling as she watches me struggle to breathe.
I place the taco on my thigh, taking a large sip of the coke as both of them impatiently wait for my answer.
"There's nothing to talk about," I roll my eyes, hiding the blush that's creeping on my cheeks by looking at the ocean instead of them.
"You just choked on your taco just by the mention of his name," Lexi rolls her eyes, Niall snickers beside her like a little kid.
"There is nothing to talk about," I roll my eyes, repeating the same lie again.
I honestly had no idea what was going on between Harry and I. It was obvious we were more than friends, but we never talked about the extent of our relationship. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable by shoving my feelings in his face, and I didn't want to talk about labels, because quite frankly things were going good now, and I'm scared labeling what we have might confuse us even more. I don't want to ruin anything by having my feelings get in the way, I don't mind what we have now.
"Spill, I want to know how whipped he is," Niall slurps his third slushie of the day, the cherry liquid leaving a trail of red tint on his lips.
"He's not whipped," I roll my eyes, biting my lip anxiously. "We are just having fun."
"You don't just have fun, Liz," Lexi replies, making me frown in response."You get attached to people easily."
I part my lips open, about to protest against what she said but she shakes her head, waving her hand in-front of my face to stop me, "I'm not saying it like it's a bad thing, you just care about people easily even after they hurt you. It can be a flaw of yours, Liz, so I'm just asking you to really think about how you feel. But really think about it, because it's clear to everyone that this is more than just meaningless sex. You aren't having fun, you have feelings for him."
I hate when she's right.
"I don't like him," I respond almost too quickly, letting the lie slip easily out of my mouth. "I care about him, but that doesn't make a difference. I care about everyone around me, I, just-,"
She interrupts me, "Do you like him or not, Liz, be fully honest with yourself right now."
Did I like him? Obviously, but I was never going to admit that out loud, at least not in front of these two because once I do they will never let me live it down.
"I like being around him," I tell her honestly. "I like who I am when I'm with him, he makes me feel happy."
"Yeah, you two are whipped," Niall laughs, taking a bite from his burrito. I push him by his shoulder gently, making him laugh even more in response.
"We should do this more often, I like gossiping with the two of you," He looks between Lexi and I, letting out a small chuckle.
"I'd hardly call this gossip," I roll my eyes.
"Eh," he shrugs his shoulders, "It's entertaining though."
"My love life shouldn't be entertaining."
"Love life?" Lexi raises her brows.
"You know what I mean,"
"Sure," both her and Niall chuckle at the same time.
"Okay," I drop my palms over my thighs, letting out an exhausted breath as I look between them. "I think it's time we head home."
"We have to do this again soon," Niall starts picking up the boxes from the tacos, throwing them along with the leftovers in the small plastic bag.
"No more shopping though, please," I groan. "Movie night?" I raise my brows, both of them nod happily.
"Only if I pick the movie," Niall raises his hand, and I smile nodding.
"Please, God, no. You'll pick some clingy rom- com that only you can tolerate," Lexi groans.
"Excuse me?" Niall puts his hand on his heart dramatically, "My taste in movies is great."
I chuckle, letting them argue like little kids behind me.
I spend the rest of the walk back to the car lost in my head. Is it really worth it to tell Harry how I really feel? I'm scared I'll scare him off with my feelings, he's made it clear he doesn't want to be just friends, but what I felt went deeper than that. It terrifies me too.
We reach the car, Niall jumps into the front seat like a little kid instead of just opening the door. I roll my eyes at his childlike behavior, opening the door to the backseat.
The car ride home was anything but peaceful, it even earned us some weird stares from the cars next to us. Lexi and Niall managed to spend a whole hour singing along to the Mamma Mia soundtrack as if people weren't judging them from afar.
I admired how carefree and happy they were, it even made me smile once or twice, but that smile was quickly wiped away after hearing Lexi's awful singing.
I let out a sigh of relief once we reach Harry's house, the music stops and I open the car door wide. "Thanks for the ride, and thank you again Niall for the bracelet," I give them a big smile, waving goodbye as they drive out of the front porch.
With a few bags in my hands, and my aching feet I managed to lazily drag myself home.
I drop the bags on the floor, furrowing my brows at the quiet music that echoes in the house.
The lights are turned on in three different rooms, Falling in love by Elvis Presley echoes from the other end of the hallway.
I look around, furrowing my eyes at the absence of Harry and Willow in the living room area. I follow the trail of music, which leads me to the bathroom on the first floor.
"Harry?"
He turns around to face me, giving me a small smile as I stare at him with wide eyes and my jaw wide open, "What the hell happened to your face?"
He drops the small cotton that he used to clean his cuts on the bathroom counter, not once letting his smile drop, "I'm fine."
I walk inside the bathroom, taking his phone to turn off the music. Silence lingers in the air around us, I gently grab his face to examine his cuts carefully. They weren't bad, just a few cuts on his cheek and the bridge of his nose, but it was still enough to fill my body with worry.
"You should see the other guy," he jokes, staring deeply into my eyes.
"You're not funny," I rolled my eyes, taking in a sharp breath. I let go of his face, my hands pulling up his shirt.
"What are you doing?" He raises his brows, still smiling at me. He takes my wrist into his hand, gently holding them as he waits for my answer.
"I'm not trying to get you naked, Harry" I roll my eyes. "I'm just checking to see if you have any injuries," I pat his hand away from my wrist, pulling up his shirt to his chest. I let out a breath of relief when I noticed no marks on his skin. "How's your back doing?"
"I told you I'm fine," he gives me a small smile, grabbing back my wrists into his right hand, holding them.
"I just wanted to be sure," my breath hitches in my throat once his lips find their way onto my neck. He gently sucks on my sweet spot, right under my ear. I feel him smirking against my skin, knowing he's finding amusement in making me squirm under his touch. "Harry-."
"It's hard to behave when you say my name like that, love," his voice is dark, the words laced with desperation hinting at me exactly that he feels in this moment.
He smashes his lips into mine, desperately kissing me, and I just let him.
I want him, I want him really fucking badly.
//
a/n: Sorry for the cliffhanger, the next chapter makes up for it.