Edward
"Do not move." I mumbled to both Jasper and Emmett who thankfully complied to my order.
Was there a flaw in my gift ?
Impossible.
I remembered hearing her and the pack she was apart of, on the beach. I could still hear Emmett's excitement at the thought of finally being able to hold a proper physical fight with Aiyanna and I could clearly hear Jasper's analysis as he interpreted each changes in the emotions emanating from her.
I could still hear thoughts. But not hers.
She was right in front of me and yet, absent at the same time. I didn't know enough about her kind to put a word on what was going on.
It was as if I was staring at a regular wolf.
I couldn't think of doing anything. All I could do was stand still, and wait until she'd move.
Not once had she looked elsewhere, which unconsciously became the hope I was holding onto. The hope that Aiyanna was still there, inside, and recognized me.
The wolf moved again, and everything inside of me wanted to meet her and shorten the time it'd take to be at a closer distance. However, I remained still.
The closer we were and the more I could feel as if I was being put back together. All the missing pieces that I once felt departing from me were filling me with a new source of energy.
The wolf stopped approaching once its nose was only a few centimeters away from my chest.
Talk to her. She likes your voice - Jasper thought.
I never thought I would ever need anyone to be the messenger between Aiyanna and I. She used to talk to me directly through her thoughts and I would immediately answer. I liked the intimacy we once had. Having Jasper talk for her felt as if there was an intruder between us. However, no matter how odd it felt, Jasper was the only one who could read through her at the moment.
As if she heard him, Aiyanna's ears straightened up.
"I don't know if you can really hear me and understand what I am about to say, but I am happy that you are alive. I hope you have been well during my absence."
I didn't expect this kind of encounter where I couldn't hear her. Where I would have no idea if she could hear me or not. I felt as if I was swimming in the dark.
"I owe you so much than an apology, but I want you to know that I have not spent one day without feeling sorry for the pain I have caused you." I continued. "I feel sick, sick to my core when I think of the fact that I have gone too far for you to be safe even when I try to keep you away from the danger I represent to you."
I left, thinking that I was protecting her. I needed her to have a chance at a happy and normal life without me interfering with that. Leaving her had been the hardest thing I had done in a hundred years.
I had broken the eye contact between us when I lowered my head in shame, which caused her to tap one of her paw against the ground with such force, that it made me look up at once, as if she had pushed the air upwards to lift my head.
I felt unable to look away. Her gaze was not allowing me to, and I felt as if I had not choice but to comply.
This was so much like her. I remembered the times when she would put her fingers under my chin and force me to look up at her when I dared to look away especially in situations where I felt shameful.
This simple action from her only confirmed my thought : whatever shape she came in, it was the Aiyanna I once fell in love with. She was still there, even if I couldn't hear her.
So, I continued. "I will never fail you again, Aiyanna. I swear to be by your side until you'd want me to, to leave if you tell me so, and to remove anything that would interfere with your happiness and your safety even if that thing is me." I swore.
As I talked, I noticed something changing in the way she stared at me. Her eyes were being more hidden by her fur that had grown longer since the last time I saw her. Was it her, frowning at me ?
She had all the rights to be skeptical. I had broken all the promises I had made even the one when I told her I would never come back into her life again.
Don't make her angry. Wolves are unstable - Jasper warned me.
Her legs moved forward, forcing me to step back as soon as she started to nudge her nose against my chest with force. Fearing that my frozen and hard body would hurt her, I had no choice but to step back to avoid that. Growling sounds came from below me, as her strides became bigger to reduce the distance between us.
"What is going on, Jasper ?" I asked, concerned.
"She is being territorial. I guess she didn't like hearing the possibility of you leaving again." Jasper answered out loud, almost with a scoff.
So she understood what I was saying, although I wasn't sure to which extent.
Before she could nudge me again, I brought my hand to her jaw and touched the brown fur on the side of her face.
Her fur was both soft and warm against my skin. I ran my fingers through it curiously, learning the texture, stroking her neck where the color faded into a white spot.
Aiyanna who at first froze at my contact, started to relax the more I stroke her fur. Her black eyes closed and a sigh came out of her muzzle.
"I will do as you wish, Aiyanna." I said, giving her what she was seeking for : reassurance.
However, this slow moment of solace only lasted a few seconds.
Aiyanna's breathing started to pick up as her body started shaking against my hand. I could feel her body heat up under my palm, even though she was already warmer than I had expected.
Whining sounds came out of her as her legs gave up under her. I followed her movement and fell on my knees as well. Full of concerns, I observed her fur slowly starting to disappear and her body starting to become smaller until it revealed the short-haired naked woman who had been hiding inside this whole time.
~~
Aiyanna
Awake.
As if I had woken up from a long dream, I felt disoriented.
I had to get used to new yet familiar sensations. The fallen leaves felt different against my skin, just like how different the wind felt on me.
I only needed to open my eyes to realize why everything felt so different.
I had turned back to human.
When I stretched my arm and saw my hand, I felt as if I was rediscovering my body all over again.
Contrarily to all the other times when I turned back to human, this time I was welcomed with a new source of oxygen. I was being intoxicated by the scent I was wrapped into. An unfamiliar material was covering me, even before I had the time to think.
"Are you all right, Aiyanna ?"
That voice.
My body froze in an instant.
My breath was cut short.
My heart skipped a beat before pounding against my chest.
And my insides was welcomed with a familiar warmth.
No matter how long it had been since I last heard that voice, I could recognize it anywhere. And no matter what happened ever since the last time I heard it, my body always reacted the same.
With my hands on the ground, I pushed myself up and faced him. In a blink of an eye, I caught his every movement as he buttoned up the shirt that had threatened to fall off of my shoulders once I sat up. His eyes never left mine while doing so.
Edward was on his knees in front of me, shirtless, with his hands resting on his thighs now that he was done, observing all of my movements.
The marble skin of his chest was bare and pale. I could almost feel how cold he would be under my palms. The color of his eyes was the only bright detail of his face. He looked exhausted. Maybe as exhausted as I had been during...how long has it been since I last saw him ?
"You were gone for two weeks." Edward answered almost instantly, to my thought.
Two weeks.
How strange. The last day I remembered counting was the eighth one. And then, everything was blurry in my memories, until I saw him again.
As days went by, it had been harder to stay away. I felt my humanity slipping through my fingers as I lost the battle within myself between my wolf's instincts and the human reasonable version of myself.
My wolf had become much more stronger now than it was two weeks ago. Which was why, I believed, my human side had been pushed back behind a curtain with only enough space for me to peek through.
I remembered everything that happened and every word he said while being unable to really control myself.
"Aiyanna, I..."
"You never should have come back." I cut him off while standing on my two legs for the first time in what seemed a long time.
I felt a tightening sensation in my throat, trying to prevent me from saying such words as soon as I thought them.
Edward stood up as well. "I am well aware that I went against my promise to not show up in your life again and let you move on. But now, I do not have the strength to depart from you anymore. I have no intentions to leave unless you ask me to."
I will never.
This was the first thought that came to me at his words.
I myself didn't feel like I had the strength to flee again. I did it once, but knew deep down that I couldn't do it a second time. There was no need to. My mind was already settled.
"You are free to do whatever you want. I won't interefere with your decisions nor tell you what to do. The Aiyanna who once had the right to do so, is long gone. You don't need to waste your time with me."
"Being with you will never be a waste of time. On the contrary, it is what I want to live for if you allow me to." Edward declared but I could only sigh. "I understand that you might hate me..."
I don't hate you
"...that the hurt I inflicted you and what I left you to face alone is unforgivable..."
I forgive you
Edward suddenly froze. His lips were left ajar, as he processed what he just heard.
I forgave him the moment I looked at him as we fell off the cliff. Now, more than ever, I could understand why he did what he did. Why he thought that leaving was the only solution to ensure my safety. I could put myself in his shoes and see myself leaving him if my life was constantly putting him at risk as well.
That was what the imprint did. It gave us energy, strength, purpose....life. We were meant to insure the happiness and the security of our loved one. I understood the choice he made because I knew that I would have done the same thing had the roles been reversed.
So naturally, I forgave him.
"Forgiveness is all I can give you..."
Because I knew him. I knew that Edward would burden himself with guilt whether I forgave him or not. I knew that he would bring himself down, destroying every bits of his self esteem because of how he would carry everybody's suffer as his own and feel guilty because of it.
And...I couldn't allow that.
Sam being overprotecting over Emily started to make much more sense to me. My sense of protection towards Edward, who seemed unbreakable yet as fragile as a feather inside, started to fill me up.
And thankfully, it didn't go against the decision I had made.
I felt my throat clenching again at the thought of saying the following words out loud :
"...but don't expect anything else from me. Move on as you once asked me to." I said in the small voice my throat was allowing me to let out. "This time, I will make a promise to you. I promise to not let my kind make decisions for you as it did for me. I will not force myself on you."
Edward frowned his eyebrows, confused. "What do you mean ? What decisions ?"he asked.
"The imprint. I imprinted on you, Edward."
Authors's note : I remember saying I would only update once a week...I'm just going to update whenever I want lol. So, here was the chapter ! Hope you liked it.
And the next ones will be updated whenever I feel like it lol