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"I'm Romanian." No wonder why he's so fucking hot. "I was born and raised there. I lived there for half of my life until I decided to study in the
United States." He took a sip of the wine I told him not to order and blew off the smoke I glared at him for. Alex is Alex. He does what he does.
"But you speak the greatest American accent..? I thought you were fully American..." I've never heard Alex slip with a different word or a voice that belongs to another nationality. All I heard was just the perfection of an American accent.
Even though I was fully raised by an American mother and born here, my tongue had that tiny flavor of my dad's side.
"I was 19 when I started living here all alone. I'm 35 Viviana..." My jaw dropped, my jaw nearly touched the gleaming and spotless clean floor of this beautiful-looking restaurant.
But what.
"I thought you were 27..." I tried uttering the confusion that just hit me which made him chuckle. Me and Alex have 12 years in between?
"Because of the 1995 tattoo?" He raised a question and I immediately nodded. "That was just my little sister's birthday year..." A warm smile lightened up on my face. Now that was a different Alex tonight. He was a soft guy and in some way had worked hard since he was at such a young age. He left his family to find his future and dreams but in some other way.
Something was wrong..?
"What's her name?" I smiled trying to know more about him as we were on a 'date'. And on dates of course you have to spill everything about yourself. I was excited to hear about him.
Because the Alex I know? Lord Jesus.
He was more like an unknown.
"Alexsandra..." That was cute. They had matching names. I feel like tearing up, he got a tattoo for her and their names? That was adorable. They must love each other so much. "That was her name." My smile tumbled. Was? "She passed away a couple of years ago, I was here and had no idea about her death until I called her boyfriend and asked why she wasn't picking up my calls." My heart ached. "My parents didn't want to devastate my goals by telling me she was gone and decided to change the subjects whenever I asked about her."
"I'm sorry...I had no idea." I reached out to hold his hand as a small supporter. He held it and pulled it up for his lips to kiss. Was Alex always this precious? Ugh. "May I know how she died?"
"She has suffered from cancer for a year or so, the doctors said she had a big chance of surviving, but...she didn't." I held him tauter. Why did I even ask? I should have just changed the topic. I stayed silent and blank.
I couldn't bring myself up to ask him anything else at this moment. I didn't want to. I knew what it's like losing someone very dear and close to you, I knew what it felt like going into their room and they're just not there to bully you or scrub your head aggressively when you exactly told them not to. Or when prom comes and they tell you to stand next to the random guy who just asked you out with a proud smile on their lips.
When they buy you a random grape and ask if you like it and the next day the fridge is filled with grapes. When you have a shoulder to cry on when you feel protected. When you have a dad.
Losing my dad has walked me up there. Into people I didn't want to meet, to people I didn't want to know anything about. To mistakes, I was told not to make. I was fucked up and nobody protected me like my dad did. Of course, my mom was amazing and she cared as much as my dad did. But the father was different from a mother. Mom's take care, dad's protects.
And I've lost both.
"Baby, please." He kissed my hand again and pressed it against his cheek. "Don't look at me like that. I'm fine. I'm happy now. I'm sure that's what she wants me to do too." I gave up a small grin and nod. "Now please tell me about you."
"You already know I'm half Italian, have no idea how you did, but I was born in Texas and I've moved to Michigan I think once I turned 18-"
"Why did you move out?" He cut me off and a smile was curling on his lips. I knew he wanted to know every piece of me from before till now. But me and my past wasn't something so beautiful to smile at. It wasn't a precious part of me.
"That guy...Joe, we met online and started to date, I was a teenager and he was an adult, so my mom didn't approve of this kind of relationship, and we decided to run away together. I haven't spoken to my mom ever since then. I'm sure she doesn't want to hear from me either." I was a selfish daughter.
Why would she ever want to reach up to me again after all those things I left her with?
"The guy you had nightmares about?" He frowned as I nodded. "The one who let you suck me off?" I nod again. "You were a stripper and in a relationship?" I nod again. "What type of boyfriend is that?"
"Yeah...He was an ass." He started kissing my hand again. I think because he was not able to reach my lips instead he had my hand in any case and a distraction for both of us. I was sweating about how many kisses he had kissed me already. The date just started.
"Baby, if I had you in that time I'd rather start a worldwide war than share you with anyone. If you're mine then you're mine only. No one can touch you...but can I say I'm glad I touched you?" A brow lifted in sacrifice to his own words as he chuckled. "He's far gone. You're for me. And you're better off with me."
My two hands were getting kissed now.
Never knew Alex was some type of a clingy guy.
But I liked it. I treasured touches like this.
"Tell me about Clark." My smile withered. His face was severe about his request. I don't know if I should be feeling secure right now, I knew the hatred he had toward Clark ever since we kissed a meaningless kiss. "Do you still feel anything about him?" I gulped greedily.
"Alex," I complained and he held tighter on my wrist. He was serious.
"Please, baby. I just want to know, please?" My eyes were limited looking into his. My eyebrows threaded together and a distasteful expression was leaving me. I hated to talk about somebody I love and suddenly they're just...boom. Gone.
"Clark was great," I sighed. "He was loving and caring, he was sweet and I felt safe with him." His eyes fell unlit and no more of these soft pleasing looks were shown any longer. "But he promised to fix something in me that Joe has left, he unfortunately did, but later on I found out he was a liar. And the promise of believing me was just...a lie." I continued.
"He swore to never look back at the memories I left behind, he promised to never bring up my past and never reproached me for how I was or what I did, but the second he saw his friend on me, he blamed me before he can even hear me out or look at how disgusting his friend was." My wound ripped again at the memories. "Of course relationship without any trust is duffer. But if you're asking me if I still love him, then no."
"I don't love him. And I will never try to look back on how good our memories were together. He lied, and I can't live with a liar or try to close my eyes to what he did."
His eyes lowered softly to what they were before, kisses were placed on my palms. And I can feel the devil inside of him wave me a goodbye and fade off to my honest confession about a person he planned on taking revenge on.
"I'm glad you told me." He settled his lips into a determined line. Not in an asshole way. In a kind way. "Viviana, I know I'm the worst person you expect to love, but I'm trying. I won't stop trying. I won't stop buying you roses, I won't stop taking you out, I won't stop eating Zeppoles even though I hate sweets. I cannot stop, I've had you once and I was never able to say, to feel to understand that you were my addition from the start. That addition showed me I was in love."
~
One month later.
"What are you doing here?!" I panicked as I looked around me. Alex shouldn't be here...
"Alex you can't be here if my manager sees-"
"One Americano." He calmly cut me off. Some simple glances were looked over at the menu and the drinks we make. As if he doesn't order Americano every time he comes here.
"You have a terrible taste by the way." I rolled my eyes as I took his order anyway. Not like I had much of a choice.
"Not really though...you taste quite good, sweetheart." My eyes fell wide open and an embarrassing cough broke his words, or at least tried to caution him. I was glaring into his eyes. I hated to see him smile while I was sweating wet.
He's such an ass.
But I'd totally let that compression shirt slide through. His workout routine never gets canceled. His abs and muscles are the most important thing in his whole life. If this man doesn't run at least 8 miles in a day he won't be satisfied. I can't believe he runs a company and runs like that daily. Should I be jealous?
"You can take a seat if you didn't know..?" He immediately shook his head as a no and that made me sigh in annoyance.
"Nobody is here, yet. Let me enjoy watching you." I rolled my eyes again and picked up the kettle to pour the hot boiling water into his usual medium-sized cup. "Are you free tonight?" My heart started pounding harder in my chest. Not this again.
Alex's dates are great. Ok? They're amazing and very thoughtful. I don't even know how many dates we went on these past few weeks, all I know is I actually enjoyed myself being around him.
But when we go back home? Holy fuck. My both hands, my ten fingers wouldn't be enough counting how many times we fucked, how good we fucked, how we fucked. We just...fucked.
He made my night unforgettable, and my legs were unstable...but we still lived like this.
I can't say we're official, but I swear in my heart I was trying to make it so, I was just lost and fucked up in my own thoughts. I do like Alex, but trying to forget about how many relationships I had to pay back the good feelings and love I gave off is sort of pushing me off.
I am trying as much as he was.
Alex gave respect to me, he gave me space and made sure that space would be going on well by fucking me at night and kissing me in the morning. He gave me much attention and without continuing my sentence about the thing I wanted it would be already right under my nose.
"You know I'm always busy on Fridays..." I finally managed to answer and cut off my thoughts.
"A friend of mine is proposing and throwing a small party, and I can't go alone without you..."
I swallowed that thick lump stuck in my throat and suddenly I was just going out of breath. "Please, baby?" I gulped.
"I mean...sure? I finish at 7. Is that okay?" A wide smile approaches his soft gleaming delicious finger-licking lips as he nods. I felt relieved taking away his worries and that harsh frown on his face, but the only thing I wasn't relieved about was him slamming his lips against mine.
My world was empty, but yet it was so fucking filled up with his kisses.
Thankfully no customers are around. Yet.
"Get a room." A loud whine made me push him off and lick my lips so no sight would be seen I was kissed by him. It was no one else other than my coworker. She rolled her eyes in annoyance as she wrapped the apron over her waist. "We don't have time for your kisses, sir, piss off, and you. Go get the cupcakes out of the oven."
"I'll pick you up at 9." He kissed me quickly before fading off. Oh my gosh.
~
"You're stunning!" I giggled loudly at the kind compliments I received from everyone.
"Thank you so much! You're gorgeous yourself!"
I had a feeling Alex had warned everyone to treat me with lots of love. Or else..? Yep. Alex was great with threatening But let's hope they actually do like me. For me.
Alex was so sweet to me right here. I mean, he's been nice to me for months, since ever we met again. And going back to the last party I saw him at it was absolutely traumatizing. It was horrifying and remember that he was the person from back then to the person he is right now. It has brought me over the moon.
This time there was no deal between us, there was no money in debt. We didn't have sex and he would prove to me that I was nothing but a sex partner to him. Right now I've held and owned a piece of him, whatever it was. I was owning a spot in Alex Lennox.
Alex hasn't left my shoulder since I stepped out of his car and started walking around to introduce myself and get to know the people that Alex already knew about. His arms were all over me, his lips were on my head the entire time.
Fuck I felt alive beneath his touch.
It showed how proud he was to be with me, to walk with me, to have me, and to even show me off to probably very important person.
"Your eyes look so.. so admirable..." She complimented me once again and I can feel my heart melt to her words. The bride was so nice.
"They are." His deep engaging voice suddenly broke our conversation and small loud giggles. Both of us went silent to his comment, I was quiet, but if they brought a doctor right away he might hear my screams inside my heart.
I poked his waist with my elbow as a timid, but also a bit too embarrassed expression in front of her. Instead of acting it off by shutting up like nothing happened, he made sure that everyone knew he meant his words and kissed my head again. In front of her for the hundreds of times.
"Well.." she tried laughing off this cringe-awkward moment. "Where's your lipstick from? Your lips look so plump and beautiful!" I couldn't even answer before he cut me off. Again.
"They are." All of us couldn't help but laugh together at his words this time. Fuck you so much. Like seriously. I don't know if I'm annoyed or dripping wet for him by now.
Suddenly out of nowhere, everyone's laughing quieted down when a gorgeous-looking woman has approached the table we were standing around.
She was a gorgeous blonde-haired haired with brown eyes. Her eye makeup made her face snatched and her lips were so plump as a sweet peach.
Her dress was special looking, it was long, so long that it followed her behind on the floor, such a beautiful red dress. Her hair was in a high ponytail and everything about her was indescribable. She was a goddess from up there.
"Long time no see everyone!" She smiled and everyone greeted her back. I smiled back even though she hadn't even looked at me yet or asked who I was. We could be great friends, oh my gosh. "Long time no see, Alex." For a little second, I thought they didn't know each other but once her hand ran up and down on his arm? I felt something wrong. Her looks, her eyes, her lips, or even the smallest touch of her hands.
"Yeah..." He spoke up, his grip tightened on me and with that, her gaze emerged to me. I smiled widely at her and before she could ask or say anything my hand was already pointed out for her to shake.
"Viviana Marritt." I shook her hand. "I. Am. In. Love. With your dress! You look so fabulous!" She let out a chuckle and held my hand tighter.
"Helen. Helen Miller. And thank you, your dress is lovely! Where did you get it?" My smile widened. My arms have proudly wrapped around his, with no delay or any refusal.
"It was a gift from me..." He answered and I couldn't lie. I was so nervous about what I should wear for tonight, I had no idea, and neither did I have the motivation to search through my closet, but when I arrived at my apartment? And found a box with the purple roses I told him I liked..?
Yeah, we better make out after this party.
Her manifestations have changed a little and I didn't know if it was better or worse, but what I did know is I was envious. I was so fucking jealous once her hand ran on his arm again.
I know we're not official, but fuck her. I owned something in Alex that nobody should take from me. I can't stand all these good feelings I've spent will be gone just because she touched him.
"That's so nice of you!" She licked her lips, teasingly as she looked at him with sensual eyes and bit her lips? That's when I felt like the air wasn't airing anymore. I can't watch that.
I wanted to walk away as badly as I wanted to leave the whole party. It's such a small thing, but it has hurt me a little too much. And I was afraid that I couldn't prevent my facial expressions from that. I can't ruin us, I can't ruin this party.
"I'm a little hungry!" I took my arm away from his and backed off instantly. "I'm going to look for a quick snack." all eyes were on me at this moment. Especially his. And I was too nervous if I was too obvious with the looks I looked at her with, or if I made things uneasy, it was best to walk off.
I walked between people I had no idea who they were, into a mansion I had no clue where it was, it was pretty and huge that's what I knew.
I bumped into a couple of people, but nothing ruined my mood as much as it already was.
I wasn't hungry. I was nothing at this point.
I just wanted to leave and not look back behind me into these brown eyes I just met. They held something I didn't want to know about.
I pushed a slice of cheese into my mouth and frowned at the taste of it plus with the taste of jealousy drowning in my throat.
What the fuck were they? I'm sure they are something or at least had something. The way she looks at him pissed the shit out of me.
The more I thought about them the more I felt dizzy drinking and eating up. It was such a small thing but yet it became so big to me. So big that I'm drinking crazy here to forget about it.
Why didn't he tell me about his exes and stuff? He asked about mine, but I didn't know about his. Why. Was it that bad? Or was it because he fucked almost every woman on earth?
"Viviana?" I turned around knowing damn well it was Alex who came after me to make sure I was fine and still living after meeting up with that woman. I've prepared my pissed-off face, and not a second later it faded away. It wasn't Alex...
"Clark..?" My breath hitched and I trembled at the coldness my body suddenly felt. "What are you doing here" I wasn't happy. Not even an inch. This is wrong and weird and hurtful to see him again after what happened between us.
Why was history repeating to me? Clark and Alex? Both on parties? And me? Gosh.
"I was called to paint the bride and groom proposal..." he slightly smiled. "On the wedding too as well." Great, now I know I shouldn't go to the wedding. "You? What are you doing here?"
"I came with someone..." his smile dropping didn't please me. This wasn't good. I should go.
"Oh really? Who?" I didn't want to tell him it was the same guy I left for him, but also? We had nothing in discussion now. I didn't like him and he probably hated me from the day I left.
Why should I be ashamed to tell him it's Alex-
"Viviana?" Clark's lips didn't move. I turned around and it was who it was. My sweet Alex...
I definitely do not think he'll be sweet anymore.
Not after this.
Not after Clark.
"What is going on here?"