Lights were dimmed. It wasn't his sleeping time.
It's not that late even. It's just 09:34 pm. And Alex at a time like this and sleeping? No way.
I placed down the plastic bag of food and went up to make sure he was asleep or not. I didn't buy food and options of meals for nothing.
I didn't want to knock on his door, what if he was asleep? I convinced myself to slowly creak the door open just at least a tiny inch to peek my head through and make sure he was asleep.
Good thing he was awake.
But the bad thing...
"I'm sorry!" I panicked trying to back off and close the door behind me, but when his voice shot into every muscle I walked around with, I did nothing but freeze again.
"Viviana." He whimpered. I indeed saw him jerking off, maybe I shouldn't have acted so surprised. It was Alex after all. "Come in," he ordered and I had to creak the door open again only to see him with an unpleased face, holding his phone in his hand while the right hand had something else to take care of.
"I apologize, I just wanted to let you know I got food if you're hungry." I tried breaking eye contact. Yes, me and Alex have done the unspeakable things, but eyeing the pair of eyes while he stares into my soul like I'm his next meal has dazed me.
"Cut the bullshit." His hand tightened around himself. "I need you." Alex and being honest? Alex and being helpless? "Take off your clothes." His eyes shut down as a warning, almost near his climax, and another warning for me to strip.
I don't know if he's been watching porn a lot recently to release the need for his lust and push down the pain from his sensitivity. He hasn't invited me to come over to his room or even told me to wear some of the lingerie he bought me, for himself actually. It's been a week like this. And a week with no sex? As Alex?
Something is wrong.
I didn't give any attention to it, I was minding my business, I decided to wait for him to call me out, and if he didn't then I shouldn't much of put a bother on myself. I was there at his service if he wanted me, he could easily have me.
I was happy going out and experiencing new thoughts and feelings with Clark, we went a few more times on coffee and apple juices, a great-looking steak dinner, and just talkative conversations. Unlike somebody...
I was enjoying my time with Clark, and to be honest with him everything felt just...better. He was caring and so funny that I can nearly laugh to death. He talks a lot and I loved the stories he shared with me, it showed me how comfortable he is, and wants to share a side of himself that nobody at work knows. It was cute.
I might have been the one putting distance between me and Alex by going out a lot and asking for more self-time by excusing myself from eating out, shopping, and a bit of spa time to relax the exhausted body he leaves at night.
Which as I should, but apparently it was all a lie to see Clark and get to know him more.
Honestly, I wasn't so afraid of Alex anymore, he was the one allowing me, agreeing, and giving me the opportunity to do what I wanted which we both knew, if the world fell apart, crashed, or if an apocalypse arrived he would have what he wanted.
Nothing small or big would stop him from getting what he wants, absolutely nothing. I was grateful he wasn't poking his nose into my business again, it was done since I told him I was his and I wouldn't do anything to bother him. That's how it works for Alex. Lie in his face and do what he wants. In that way, it's easier for both of us.
"Keep these on." His eyes dulled against my nude thong and the laced bra I was wearing.
"I can take them off myself." I decided to keep it easy and not be a brat about what he craved.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked going on hands and knees on top of his bed. His phone couldn't be placed down and neither was his tiny scowl able to.
"Ride this." He continued. I was about to look down on him and try to think of the images he wanted me to ride him, but something was off. Why were the pillows facing me instead of what I expected to face? "In front of me," he added.
"Alex..?" I glower. There is no way a pillow would be pleasurable. It's dry, it's useless and I just couldn't accept the fact he was so serious about it. "I can't- how do I even-" his eyes fell swarthy and this time it was a warning. Well. Fuck it.
Here goes nothing anyway.
I've pushed the pillow between my legs and slowly start grinding against it. Nothing felt pleasurable to it, but the way he looks at me?
My nails dug into my thigh looking at him. I hated him so much but the beauty in his eyes always came back at me like karma. The only thing that offended me was his phone, he still hadn't placed it down and given me all the attention he kept seeking on giving me.
He knew I was suspicious and curious about what was pleasing him so much with a damn phone, a screen, or whatever, but when he realized I was lost and turned off by his actions, he flipped his phone and made my expectations hit lower again.
"You look so beautiful." My breath fastened hearing him say these things to me. Compliments and Alex weren't a fantastic connection, but why the fuck was it so good to know or hear him say that? "I can't stop looking at this picture..." It wasn't a picture of me on a regular day, with cover-up clothes and holding a puppy in my arms with a wide smile.
It was me, naked, smiling against his dick and my face covered with his sperm all over my cheeks down to my chest. My breasts were shown and my nipples were hard in the picture.
And maybe that's why I looked so beautiful to him for the first time. Alex never mentioned anything about my beauty or how well I looked when he touched me. He only was able to call me his whore and force my eyes to open wide while he fucks me, I was only able to know my beauty by facing the mirror and not hearing the words.
"Stop looking at my face." I moaned and rubbed off my hips. The pillow was suddenly so good beneath me, it was soft and I was the one controlling how I wanted my pleasure to be done. "I'm not a picture, I'm right here, Alex."
I savagely lift myself from the pillow and limp on his lap instead.
I knew that move would cost me much and I might fall asleep soon after, but the way he called me beautiful has turned a switch in me...
"You can feel me instead of imagining.." a growl left his mouth to my hips. If he called me beautiful then he had to take the risk of that. He had to handle the tease and touches I wanted to feel on his skin. "Is this what you've been doing for a week? Jerking off on my pictures?"
His head fell back and he couldn't hold back his hands from helping my hips to move on his torso with emptiness and nothing inside of me.
"Stop the teasing, Viviana." He didn't curse, he didn't hiss at me in anger. I knew I was taking something from him, I knew I was controlling some side of him once I saw him like this, doze off, with no motivation, and come back at me.
He ignored my question and whimpered each time my ass leaves him in excitement to wrap around him. That was so not Alex.
Alex was never tired when it came to sex, he never gave up and he will bet his life to be the dominant one. And the Alex right now?
Right the opposite.
"But you look so desperate.." I grinned watching his eyes flutter open, I wanted to see the weakness and power I sank into, something was off. And I felt rejection hit every inch of my body once I was pushed away from his lap. No time was around to process the power that entered him. My thong was yanked off and in some way, it was in my mouth...
I thought I was taking over him.
It was praising.
Just for a little while.
"Yes, I am very desperate." He held my hands together against my abdomen and something about this has turned right the other way than I planned. I was the one with shut eyes, I was the one getting teased and I wasn't the one who was able to say 'Stop the teasing, Alex.'
He knew what he was doing.
And that was revenge on my body.
My clit felt tactful and painful, I couldn't handle that. I can't keep handling the way he rubs his tip against me like it's nothing. It was too much and I couldn't hold still or keep it quiet. I was shaking. I couldn't hold onto him and neither was I able to tell him to stop taunting.
"Stop..." I clenched my thighs halfway together before he separated them apart again. My word wasn't clear enough for him to hear and the thong was blocking everything, my hands couldn't tap out of emergency. I was the one who was so helpless.
"What's wrong?" He faked a grin before rubbing me faster. My eyes were rolling back and tears were streaming down my face of so much pleasure. Screams were almost out of me. "You don't like this?" I shook my head even though I would be finished in two more seconds. It was way too much and I didn't want to end up asleep. I'd do anything but be teased like this.
"But you look so desperate"
A gasp filled my lungs and I couldn't leave it completely duo the thong halfway in my throat, but that gasp was enough to let him know he won this. I was weak around him, inside of him, and whenever he touched me or challenged me.
I was weak in every manner.
He pinned my hands above my head and leaned closer, kissing my neck, and biting my nipples through the bra. This position allowed every inch of him to be buried inside me.
His slow thrust was not helping, his kisses and bites also didn't help. I was close.
So fucking close.
"Tease me again, I dare you." He looked into my eyes and I immediately shook my head, tears were already telling him I wouldn't dare to do that again. "No?" he peeked his eyes from my nipples. "I thought I was desperate?" Fuck him. Fuck his words. Fuck the way he fucks me. Fuck everything. I was closer. I was close.
Just there. Right there.
~
I took a quick shower, alone, before heading downstairs to eat the food that I was supposed to eat a while ago. Unbelievable.
He was already downstairs, in the kitchen, standing and digging in.
Help yourself, Mr Lennox.
I haven't seen Alex eat since I don't know. He doesn't have breakfast, not lunch, or even dinner. I don't see him eat at home, surely he must eat during his work time, but it was nice to see him eating hungrily in front of me, especially with the food I chose.
"Do you like it?" I smiled watching my pesto alla Genovese pasta disappear out of my sight, I didn't mind, I was happy we got to ever share a meal in all of these six months we've slept together, but sadly my smile couldn't keep up any longer. "Is that my phone?" I asked and immediately snatched it away from his hands with a panic growing in my chest.
"Someone keeps texting you." He pushed another bite into his mouth. I was worried if he saw I was into someone especially as it was the same guy he punched last time. Of course, he didn't know his name, but I fucking hated to argue with Alex.
Just about anything.
"Hey!"
"I hope you got home safe!"
"I'm sorry if I'm texting you late, but I just finished work."
"Look I'm not a weird guy, but I'm begging you."
"My friend invited me to his work celebration next week, and I do not want to go alone..."
"Do you mind coming with me?"
"Please?"
"We can go on a dinner after? I promise to make it memorable;) we can get a drink if you want?"
"Pretty please?"
Gosh...
All of these messages... Alex? Fuck.
Thank goodness my phone only opens on Face ID, it saved me for now at least.
"All yours Clark."
I smiled shutting down my phone and flipping it the other way. I was enthusiastic and anxious to be around Clark again. We were just together and I couldn't wait to see him again.
I looked back up only to remember Alex was still in front of my nose, it was a good thing he was busy with the food and didn't glance up at me.
Recently I've been thinking about how to end this 'thing' between us, I just didn't know how. I want to move back to my apartment and let go of Alex and my entire past just to start a new life with a new person, like Clark.
But I really couldn't understand how to open that up with the 'Alex Lennox'. He's not going to force me to stay with him? It's not like he will lock me in his basement for real. He knew I wasn't his and all of my words were just a turn-on flirt moment to keep him pleased.
I have to stop, I can't just keep following his orders and he has to find a new life too.
"Would you like one of these?" I asked as I pushed the little box towards him. He looked at the small fried balls filled with jelly and topped with sugar. He was curious but still didn't pull his hand out to reach for any. "It's Zeppole."
I grinned before pushing one in my mouth. "It's an Italian pastry, it's not poisoned don't worry."
I pushed another one to show him it was good and enjoyable to eat.
"My dad used to make them every Saturday...and most of them end up in my stomach before my parents could even try them..." I laughed, but something was off. How did I talk about my dad so easily? How did I laugh at such a beautiful memory again? Why did I even tell him that? He barely even cares about me to care what my dad did on Saturday or how it ended in my stomach.
"I don't like sweets." He placed his fork down and walked over to the fridge. I was a little hurt by that. Who doesn't like sweets? And especially Zeppole? Such a fluffy and soft texture. How picky. And annoying. He drank water and was just about to leave before I stopped him again.
"But you can at least try it" I should be the one mad here and not him leaving me alone after he just refused to eat my favorite sweet snack.
He stood away and it made me force myself to walk over to him with the box still in my hands.
"I'm sure you'll like it!" I gave him a hyped-up smile. I can't even believe I cared so much to share my favorite snack with a person who doesn't even have a sweet tooth. "I don't have to beg you on this, just try it"
I hit his elbow. His eyes fell from my eyes to the box again. It's like he's going through a world worldwide war or something. The serious look in his eyes and the way he kept looking at me and back at the poor sweets were annoying me.
After a tiny while one was held between his fingers and the closer it got to his lips the more excited I got. Okay, mission complete. It's in his mouth. He's chewing it. Okay? Is the texture hitting now, bud? He better like it...
"And?" My jaw dropped in curiosity. "What do you think? It's good right?" His eyes were limited, the texture was playing around, and he still couldn't figure out what exactly he felt about it. All I knew was that his expressions weren't great to what I wanted him to express.
"It tastes like ass." I wheezed, I was planning to leave the house right at this moment and before I could walk away with my Zeppoles, he suddenly took another one and took off upstairs.
So it doesn't taste like ass? He's confusing.