AN: Surprise!
It's true. I'm back.
I went through this fic and cleaned up a lot. No major plot changes, but editing was definitely needed. My goal is to keep up on this fic and focus on finishing this before starting any new stories. I'm trying to be very intentional with my free time while I'm out of university for the summer.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
Stay safe. Stay healthy.
Alex subconsciously starts to rock her body into Sam's. Her hands track up until her fingertips are brushing against the band on Sam's bra. When Alex nips and pulls Sam's bottom lip with her teeth, Sam lets out a shaky breath. Alex moves her attention to nipping and kissing along that stunning jawline and down that long, defined neck. Her tongue is quick to soothe the little red marks she leaves behind.
"Babygirl," Sam moans out. Her fingers lace in that short hair for something to hold on to.
Alex's fingertips start to slip under the band of Sam's bra. She gently rubs the skin there. As she continues her open mouth kisses, she quickly gets frustrated that Sam's shirt is in the way on her trek. One hand slips back down to pull up the fabric to get it off that toned and lean body. She props herself up on one elbow, and Sam sits up slightly. As soon as the shirt comes off, it's tossed over the back of the couch. Sam leads Alex's head back to her neck, chanting a quiet 'please, please, please.' Alex's hands spread out, touching as much soft skin as possible. Her lips resume the previous path, licking and kissing down the valley of her breasts.
Alex's finger starts to toy along the bra straps. She pauses and looks up at the disheveled woman underneath her. "Is this okay?"
Sam's eyes are blown out. Her chest is heaving up and down with heavy breaths. "More than. Your pace though, baby. Is this okay for you? Do you want to stop?"
Alex just stares deep into those honey eyes. She rests her chin on Sam's sternum as she takes a moment to calm herself and to consider.
Sam interprets this hesitation as a sign to - at the very least - pause, if not come to a full stop. She drags her hands from Alex's hair to cup her face softly. "Ally, we can stop. Let's take a breath here. I meant what I said. I am a patient woman, and I will wait until you are ready."
Alex lets out a tiny whine and squirms a bit. "Why is that the more you keep talking like that, the more I don't want to stop..."
Sam chuckles lowly. She pulls Alex's face up by her chin to plant a soft and loving kiss. "Sounds like you and Lena share that particular kink for consent."
Alex's eyes go wide with her face blushing profusely. "Wh-what?!"
Sam openly laughs with a twinkle in her eye before pulling Alex back in for another brief kiss.
"Why would you tell me something like that, Sammy? I don't need to know about my sister's sex life," Alex whines.
"I said nothing about your dear sister, babygirl. I just told you one of Lena's kinks. Also, that should be a comfort! Lena will take good care of her and will never do anything without making sure she is okay with... anything they get up to."
Alex groans and buries her face in Sam's chest without a conscious thought. Sam bites her lip to keep her from laughing and jostling the woman. She wants to see how long it takes for the older Danvers sister to realize exactly where her face is. Sam starts to giggle when she sees Alex stop breathing and freeze completely on top of her. Alex pulls back just a second or two later with her face as red as a tomato.
"Baby, it's okay if that's where you are most comfortable," Sam teases her slightly.
"I- I- I am so sorry."
"Honey, don't be. I'm perfectly happy. Maybe slightly uncomfortable in my shorts, but otherwise very, very happy."
Alex squeaks quietly, and for a moment, nearly buries her face right back in Sam's cleavage. "Uh- um- maybe right now is a good time to pump the brakes a bit..."
"Okay, Ally. We can lay right here and go back to talking. Or even just relax the rest of the night." Sam starts carding her fingers through that red hair again. "Do you need me to put back on my shirt to be comfortable?"
"Do you want to put it on?"
"I'm happy as is right now. So, it's up to you, babe." Sam watches Alex's eyes flutter close as she scratches that one particular spot that she likes so much. "Come on. Lay your head back down."
Alex doesn't resist Sam's pull and lets her cheek rest against that bare sternum. She shivers slightly at the skin to skin contact. Her hands wrap around Sam's waist.
"So, where were we? You aren't sure if you want to know, but you feel like you need to know what happened with your sister?" Sam asks quietly.
Alex lets out a heavy sigh. "I guess it doesn't matter what I want or need. It matters what Kara wants to share. I- I can't ask her. That wouldn't be fair to try to force her hand if she doesn't want me to know."
Sam hums in thought. "That has some truth, but I would argue that it does still matter if you feel the need to know. Maybe it is more about giving her an opportunity to share. You can tell her what you think you need, but respect her boundaries at the same time."
Alex hums in thought. She relaxes under Sam's ministrations. She finds some comfort in what her girlfriend is advising. It takes some pressure off of figuring it all out on her own.
"How do you feel about that?" Sam prods.
"I feel like that is a smart plan - a wise plan that protects my sister and I at the same time. I think I will still feel nervous when it comes to that time, but right now, I feel better about how to move forward with her on this."
"Good." Sam leans down and kisses the top of her head. "Now, I know we talked about Lena and your sister already, but I feel like you got to see more of their unfiltered interactions today."
Alex scrunches her face and groans. "They are so mushy it's disgusting..."
Sam tries to suppress her chuckles. "I- I meant more about how Kara comforted Lena and vice versa."
"I- I don't know how I feel about it yet. Obviously, I'm glad they have each other and have that trust, but still... I don't know how I feel about it."
"Sounds like it's a bit conflicting? Happy but maybe... concerned? Or worried?"
"I- I guess. That's definitely a part of it, but I don't think it's all of it."
"Do you want to try to filter it out? Or-"
"I don't think so. At least not right now. Is that okay?" Alex asks a bit self-consciously.
"Of course, baby. Of course it's okay."
Alex props her head up again to look Sam in the eyes. "I- is it okay if we table this for the night?"
"Absolutely, Ally. What would you like to do instead?"
"I'm sorry. I'm going to be completely lame and suggest we go to bed? We can put something on the TV, but I'm exhausted from the day."
Sam captures Alex's lips softly on her own. "Not lame at all. Just asking for what you need. Let's go to bed, babe. But can I borrow some sleep wear?"
Alex nods her head, and she carefully climbs off the woman. She holds a hand out to help Sam off the couch to lead her to the bedroom. She wordlessly hands Sam some shorts and a soft tee. She points out the bathroom and turns down the bed in the meantime. Alex peels off her pants and sits with just her underwear and baggy shirt. She waits for Sam to come back out before slipping into the bathroom. When she comes out, she smiles at the sight of Sam lounging under the covers.
Sam smirks. "Are you just going to stand there and stare? Or are you gonna come to bed?"
Alex lets out a deep breath. She smiles warmly at the woman. She could get used to this.
******************
Kara wakes up slowly. It takes her a bit to notice that Lena is already awake and staring at her with those soft eyes. She goes to cuddle closer to the woman, and that's when she feels it. There is a delicious ache that twinges down her legs. She smiles through the hiss she lets out at the pleasant reminder of the activities last night. Once she can focus on Lena's face again, she sees Lena's smug little smirk. She deserves to feel smug after that.
"Morning, darling. How are you feeling?"
Kara groans out, "Fantastic."
Lena chuckles and cards her fingers through those blonde locks. She feels... so happy. It consumes her, this great feeling of joy and love. Lena doesn't think that she's ever been happier.
"How're you?" Kara rasps out. Her throat is a bit sore from all the screaming.
"I feel so, so lucky to have you in my life, darling." Lena leans down and kisses her tenderly.
When Lena pulls back to keep tracing Kara's face, Kara keeps her eyes shut, enjoying the tingling on her lips. She whispers softly, "Rao."
"If Kelly wasn't coming over this morning, I would totally be pouncing on you right now."
Kara's eyes shoot open at that. She squirms in place at the idea and hisses with another twinge. "Shame."
"Speaking of which, I should really hop in the shower and get ready for her. But you can stay in bed for as long as you want, darling. I'll make us some breakfast after."
"Do you have to work today?"
"I'm going to just work from home today and give Sam the day off. She deserves it. Do you need anything before I hop in the shower?"
Kara smiles and shakes her head no. She grabs Lena's hand and kisses her palm. Lena smiles back and steals one more kiss before climbing out of bed. The moment Kara can hear the shower running, she rushes (as best as she can) to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee started for her girlfriend. She spends time picking up after their tryst yesterday as well as loading the dishwasher from their dinner with Sam and Alex. Kara's not a slouch. Since she is moving in, she wants to show Lena that she is a considerate roommate as well as a loving girlfriend.
Kara's goal was to do all this, and then slip into bed so Lena would be none the wiser until she came out to prepare for her session. She isn't fast enough though. She can only blame Lena for that.
"What're you doing up?" The coffee maker beeps just at the right moment. Lena's attention is drawn to the kitchen that is perfectly cleaned up. Her gaze pans the rest of her penthouse. Everything is back where it belongs. She didn't think she could love Kara even more.
"Tada?" Kara giggles nervously.
"You didn't need to do all this, darling."
"I know. But since I live here now," Kara smiles, "I thought I should help clean up our home."
Lena's smile breaks out at that. She wanders over to her girlfriend and grabs onto the baggy tee Kara threw on. She pulls her into a kiss. "I like the sound of that."
"Me too," Kara whispers. "Now, go get yourself some coffee and get journaling."
Lena mock salutes her as she wanders back into the kitchen. She pours coffees for them both before she settles at the counter to write. She can feel Kara's eyes on her, but she knows she needs to focus. Before she realizes it, her buzzer is going off, announcing Kelly's arrival.
Kara gets up and kisses Lena's temple. "I'll be out on the balcony."
"Thanks, darling."
Kelly can immediately sense a shift as they get settled. Lena seems so much more relaxed than usual. Her eyes flit to Kara on the balcony, and she can tell from her body language that she is more relaxed, too.
"What's changed?" Kelly asks curiously.
Lena lets out a happy sigh. "Mike's in prison for two years, Sam is in town, and Kara's moved in with me."
Kelly's eyes bulge slightly. "Wow, that is a lot of great news!"
"It is." Lena literally cannot stop smiling. "For once, it finally seems like things are looking up."
"That's fantastic, Lena. I'm so happy for you and Kara."
"Thank you."
"So, I guess there is no need to ask you what your highlights were for this session," Kelly jokes. "I knew the hearing was this week, but I wasn't sure when it was exactly. It must've went well for the judge to sentence him to two years?"
Lena's smile falters. She rubs her hands together nervously. "Well, overall, yes. We got the outcome we wanted."
"But?" Kelly prods gently.
"But... Edge provided Mike with his attorney. And- and it brought up a lot of things... I had a couple flashbacks and panic attacks. Kara helped me through them. So did Sam once she got here."
Kelly shifts and leans forward. "I'm so sorry to hear that Lena... Do you want to talk about these flashbacks more?"
Lena takes a deep steading breath. She was on such a high this morning, that she kind of blocked out the bad. She feels herself losing control quickly. She knows she's spiraling, but she can't do anything to stop it. Her breath quickens, to the point that she is no longer in control. Her chest tightens. Her vision tunnels.
Kelly immediately goes into action. She calls out for Kara, who comes rushing in. They both do their best to soothe the panicking woman. Kara wraps up her arms around the shaking woman as Kelly instructs her to squeeze tightly to try to settle down her nervous system.
It takes a while for Lena to come back to herself. She breaks down into heavy sobs, clutching onto her girlfriend.
"What happened?" Kara asks Kelly.
Kelly lets out a sigh and moves back to her designated chair. "We were talking about the trial."
Kara's face fills with sorrow. She nods slightly. "Lee? Are you okay?"
Lena's trying her hardest to get herself under control. She can't help but feel embarrassed. These episodes don't appear to be slowing down any. She just nods. She can't seem to get any words out.
"How often have these panic attacks been happening?" Kelly asks gently.
"I- I haven't really been keeping track. There were probably three this week?"
Kelly's heart breaks for this woman. "Lena, I have a feeling that your mind isn't being very nice to you right now. I want you to know that it's not uncommon for therapy to cause some of these symptoms to become worse at first. You are getting in tune with your emotions. I'm so sorry that you've been going through this. I'm going to have a psychiatrist from my office write you a prescription for as needed use. It's your choice if you want to have it filled or even use it. I just want to make sure you have something just in case."
"I- I think that's a good idea," Kara responds. She continues to hold and comfort Lena.
"I think this is enough for today, Lena. I'm going to stay, but don't worry about needing to share anymore or doing any exercises with me today. If something comes up later, always feel free to call my office. They will put you through to me, and we can always talk over the phone."
Lena nods in assent. She's grateful that Kelly isn't pushing it. These emotions seemingly came out of nowhere. She thought this was going to be a wonderful session with so much progress. She's been yet again reduced to a crying mess. She feels nothing like the ruthless CEO she's come to accept.
Kara feels lost. Lena has helped her so much with Mike. She feels like she is failing her girlfriend right now. Afterall, she triggered Lena's panic attack yesterday at the beach. She should have been more in tune with Lena's needs.
Kelly doesn't miss the look on Kara's face. She has to bite her tongue. Lena is her patient. Kara is her friend. They aren't in couples therapy, but she knows Kara. She knows that the woman is blaming herself internally. She can only hope that the two talk openly about everything that has been going on in their minds. If they don't, Kelly doesn't see their relationship making it terribly long.