"I had the best time today Wes." Kenna says digging her face into my arm.
"Me too Kenny baby." I reply smiling running my hand through her hair with my other hand on the wheel. We left around 3 pm so I could make it to my shift at Carter's. With Riley not working with us anymore, I don't have as much free time as I did the last 2 days which sucks, but today makes up for it. To say today was perfect would be an understatement.
Kenna always has a smile glued to her face but since the kiss, her smile has been extra wide. Every now and then she plants small short kisses on my forearm and jaw, which I love.
She grabs the aux cord and gestures it towards her phone, asking to play music. I notice with Kenna, she tries to avoid asking questions head on because she fears rejection. But I don't think I could ever say no to her.
"Can I?" Kenna whispers.
"You don't have to ask Kenna." I whisper leaning into her and kissing her cheek.
A few songs in, my phone starts buzzing in the cup holder of the middle console, Kenna's eyes shoot towards my phone and so do mine.
My stomach immediately drops.
"Turn the music off Kennedy."
"Wes is everything okay-"
"Turn the music off." She does as I say and puts her hands in her lap scared to move.
My hand leaves Kenna's thigh and I move it on to the steering wheel- my grip tightening. Dad told me he would only call me for two reasons, once I got to the shop on my first day, and when something happened to Mom.
I immediately steer off of the road pulling over and put the truck in park. My hand shaking uncontrollably moving from the shift to my phone.
"Hi." I answer the phone quietly, my voice low enough to barely even be heard.
"Hi son. Think you can make a trip back home for a few days?" He sounds exhausted and his voice is extremely raspy.
"Tell me she's okay Dad. Tell me." Silence fills the truck.
"Tell me!" I yell when he doesn't answer. Kenna flinches and I turn to her. She looks confused and lost and scared and all I want to do is hold her and talk to her but I can't right now. I shake my head towards her mouthing I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. She just nods ands looks down at her lap, her hand rubbing on the hem of her T shirt. Shit.
"She's hanging on son." My dad finally answers.
"I'm on my way." I immediately hang up putting the car back in drive.
My mom has been battling drug addiction for years but it feels like a lifetime. It's hard to process that the person who guided you through life, taught you right from wrong, and how to love, is the one hurting. And there's nothing you can do to fix it. My mom is stationed at Malibu Mental and Medical Hospital which is only about a 20 minute drive from my house so I plan on staying in Malibu for a week or two.
"I have to go back home for a little Kenna, I'm going to drop you off and head over there, okay?" Kenna looks terrified, still clueless of what's going on, which she doesn't deserve. She deserves to know me like I know her but I can't bring myself to explain right now.
"Please no. I want to come. Please Wes."
"Kennedy you can't-"
"Don't leave me at my house with my family-" Her voice breaks and tears fill her eyes.
"Please Bear." I grab her hand holding it in my lap and nod.
We arrive at my Dads studio in Channel to grab some clothes. The drive from here to SD is about an hour but I made it here in 30 minutes.
I flip through the keys struggling, my hands won't stop shaking.
"Shit." I cuss under my breath accidently dropping the keys on the floor. Kenna picks them up for me but pulls back her hand when I go to grab them. My eyes shoot down to hers and she gives me a soft smile.
"I'm here okay. I can't tell you everything is going to be okay because I don't know what's going on. But I can tell you whatever it is I'm not leaving your side." Kenna rubs my arm up and down and hands me the keys. I nod because forming words right now is really fucking hard.
I run around the small studio space grabbing a few hoodies and T shirts for Kenna, she said she didn't want to go back home so we this is the only option we have right now. I don't grab any clothes for myself because I still have clothes at my house, and 5 minutes later I'm loading the truck up and we're back on the road.
The hospital is only a 30 minute drive so I drive correctly. Not because I don't want to go and see my mom, but because I really don't have the time for a ticket right now. Kenna lifted up the middle console and is snuggled up in my lap. The windows are up and there isn't any music playing. Neither of us talked the entire drive which is the exact opposite of how our drives usually go.
Kenna coming with me for the week really scares me, especially because we barely even met two weeks ago but I somehow still trust her with my life.
When my Dad told me to come home, I knew he didn't mean our house, he meant the hospital. Which has practically turned into our second home since Mom relapsed two years ago. She only stayed clean for about a year, when I first started high school. I remember when I found out she relapsed I was so mad at her, mad at myself. For not seeing the signs sooner or been around more to help her.
"Don't blame yourself bird. We're going to get through this. Together." Mom would aways repeat. She started saying it to me so much, I started saying it with her knowing that's all she could tell me at the time.
When it got really bad- in the beginning of junior year, I started failing classes and getting myself into trouble to distract myself from reality. I eventually decided to drop out and start working with my dad. At first he was so against it. Taking all of his built up anger out on me leaving scars, but I accepted them, never fighting back. I deserved it all, because for the longest time I blamed myself for my Moms horrible addictions, and I still do.
I know eventually I'll have to talk to Kenna but right now isn't the time.
We arrive home and I step out of the truck, Kenna following right behind me getting out on the same side. We walk hand in hand to the reception desk inside.
"Name?"
"Sierra Carter."
"Room 204." I nod and walk with Kenna to room 204. Kenna hesitates to walk so I turn to her giving her a small reassuring look and she follows in behind me.
Seeing my mom hooked up to a million machines and beeping noises filling the room is nothing new but I can tell it is for Kenna. I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back.
"Hi bird." My mom says smiling, she looks exhausted. Her face as pale as the hospital sheets and her eyelids barely even open, I'm surprised she can even see me.
"Ah who is the young lady."
"Hi Mrs. Carter, I'm Kenna." Kenna steps up to the bed without hesitation which makes me smile. They talk and laugh for what feels like hours but is really only about ten minutes.
Mom peeks over Kenna's shoulder giving me 'the look' I just shake my head and let out a laugh, which feels really nice. We sit and talk with her for a really long time. Kenna tells Mom all about herself and how we met. Her words and smiles are so genuine I can tell its really nice for her to be able to talk to a mother figure.
My mom eventually falls asleep but Kenna and I don't leave. I sit in one of the hospital chairs across from Mom's bed, Kenna sitting on my lap her side cuddling into my chest.
"I really love your Mom, Wes, I could sit here for hours and talk to her." Ken says whispering closing her eyes. I run my hand through her hair and a few minutes later she's asleep. It's around 7 pm now and between all of the driving and surfing today I'm spent. But I refuse to fall asleep. My eyes don't leave my Mom's vitals screen and my hand not leaving Kenna's hair.
My entire life, up to a month ago, I have only been scared of losing one woman in my life. Now there's two.