"You owe me a coffee."
I threw off my phone and hid my face in the pillows. Should I unsend that? Was that too rude? Why am I even red? That's exactly what he told me to do once 'I forgive him'.
Ting.
It can't be him. My text just got delivered.
"Oh shit."
"You finally texted me"
"Are you busy? I can pick you up right now?"
"No. Actually whenever you want"
"If you're not feeling like it? Another time?"
"Tomorrow? The after?"
I gulped reading his messages. He was a rushy person, I hated rush, but in some way, I really enjoyed the rush and panic he showed. It was cute and I liked the way he was trying everything to match my opinion.
"Today's weather looks awesome"
"You can just send me the address and time and I'll be there."
~
I looked around me with worry. I was afraid that it was just a prank, however, because I wasn't down for a person playing with me as a truth or dare game, neither wanted to be a bet his friends chose for him.
"Viviana!" My head turned to the other side and warmth started to run over my body, for a tiny second my blood froze, and was just about to reject giving a chance to a guy again.
But he was here. And on time. With a smile too.
My cheeks were flushed red and suddenly I felt nervous approaching him. He immediately stood up and pulled me into his arms. Was that supposed to happen? Was that normal? I was shaken and afraid that he was able to feel my heart through.
"Hey... sorry." He lets me go after every inch of me has turned red. "I'm really happy to see you." A small smile stretched across his lips, it told me he was as nervous as much as I was and honestly, this wasn't me at all. I've lived my life running after the only guy who ruined me and trying now to find myself someone who's kind and loving. That felt different and strange.
"So!-" he tried breaking the awkwardness but sadly the waitress had already done something about that. "Just a regular coffee." He spoke before she could even welcome us and ask.
"Okay...and for you, miss?" I pressed my lips tightly together. I haven't drunk coffee since the last time it affected me. Maybe five months ago or even more? But as I've got used to living without any caffeine, I've decided to stay out of it too. It was for the best anyway.
"Apple juice would be great!" I smiled at her before she headed off. Awkwardness came back, which it shouldn't. I'm sure Clark was a great and sweet-hearted guy. This shouldn't happen.
"How's your work?" I asked with a smile.
"Oh.." a chuckle broke the nerves I had. It was sweet and warm just like the hug he gave me earlier. "It was good, I would've appreciated it more if you had come again..." my heart jumped. "But anyway, how was your job? And what do you exactly do? Is it fun? Do you like it?"
Clark was a guy who was always excited to know anything. He asks a lot, he tries to talk a lot and nothing stops him from that. To me, I liked it, he was way different than Joe, and even Alex. Both of them were always quiet and looking at them they looked empty.
But looking at Clark? He looked joyful and cheering. He looked like a sunshine and I was afraid if I was too shady for a guy like him...
"I currently...don't have a job." My chest ran cold at the second lie I've told him so far. I hated lies, but as a person with my past, I wasn't proud to say any truth about myself. Not yet at least.
"That's also fun." He laughed. "You can be the best coworker if you work with me!" My heart fluttered at his small and cheerful words.
"I don't think I'm good as a waitress.." it was the truth I was no use to any job. He shook his head and disagreed with me instantly.
"Nobody is good at their jobs, because it's still not their dream yet." Not their dream yet. It made me wonder what was his. It made me rethink what mine was. What exactly was I dreaming about having? What was it, Viviana?
"You have a dream job?" He nods. "Tell me!"
"Look, most people say it's childish and it will never bring me enough money, but I want to be a painter." My eyes fell wide open. There is no way people say that to him. He wasn't just kind and handsome, he was creative too. The standard is here. "It's always been my dream to open a museum and show people my creations, but sadly without money you can't go anywhere.."
"Wow.." I breathed. I can't even imagine what it's like holding back such a talent because of money. "Can I see some, please?" An excited smile creaked on my face and as I saw him pull his phone out it meant he was really serious about his words.
It told me he wasn't insecure about his art and proudly would show it off without any hesitation.
Most people would be afraid of other's opinions.
But he wasn't. And that was so admirable to see.
"This took me like a week..." my jaw dropped. "I'm not a pervert by the way, I just really like portraits and unclothed human figures...it gives me motivation, and staring into human eyes gives power to the painting and the artist himself. don't get me wrong please." He laughed and I couldn't take my eyes off his phone.
The details, the hair, and the sharpness he put effort into the eyes. It's like he's copying and pasting a human onto his canvas.
"Please say you're joking.." yes. I was envious. I was jealous and I couldn't imagine how proud he must feel knowing he owned a beautiful talent.
"Clark! This is amazing! I don't even know what to say anymore...you should open a museum someday. I'll be the first visitor!"
"Thank you, but I'm not done." he laughed and scrolled through his phone again.
"There is more?" I almost cried out. I am not going to handle more talent anymore.
~
"Yeah, they're simply on their second honeymoon." he laughed. "My dad is American and my mom is Hawaiian, a great combo I know, they met in high school and stayed together since then...They're my everything." He grinned.
Must be great. No wonder he came up as such an amazing and caring person, with no horrible past or bad memories. He grew up with both loving sides. He got to know what's right and wrong to do.
"And you? What about your parents?" I placed down the glass of juice. I was quiet, but I shouldn't be. It was a normal question.
"My father was Italian and my mom is American, I was born in Texas, I grew up there just till I turned 17 and decided to move here, to Michigan..." It wasn't so bad talking about my past, it felt alleviating to my wounded heart. No one asked about where I came from, where my parents came from, or how I ended up here. It's rare but eventually, he did.
"Oh... Texas is pretty far, they must miss you a lot, do you go visit them?" I blinked, it was getting harder. Memories were playing around, and I was scared if I messed up things, if I lied more, or if I told him too much of my truth.
"My dad has passed away since I was sixteen and I haven't spoken to my mom since then..."
That was the first thing I could come up with, I couldn't bring myself up and tell him I ran away with a guy I liked so much that he changed my life into a switch of light. My day became my night and my night has become my day.
I can't tell a guy I just met and try to know about what a disgusting past I had. I couldn't. And if I had to lie more to him to keep my picture in a good vision then, yes. I do have to.
"Oh I'm sorry.." he tried reaching out for my hand. And he did. He held it and caressed it so softly that I almost felt myself melt away with his small touch. "I promise I'm just trying to get to know you, and please hit me in the balls if I ask something out of line." The tear that was about to roll down my cheek has gotten canceled and only a laugh has left me. "Should we get a cake? I heard they make great ones here!"