The rest of what happened that night was a blur. Normani took my hand and lead me to one of the rooms that Ally let guest stay in, as people stared at me. The last thing I saw before Normani pulled me into a room was Ally standing on top of a table telling people that the party was over. Normani closed the door right after.
"Go lay down on the bed Lauren" Normani said.
"Do you think Camz meant what she said?" I asked, as I did what I was told to do lying on my side to face her.
Normani sighed. "Honestly?" Normani asked, getting on the bed also lying on her side to look at me.
"Yes" I said.
"I think Camila is full of shit" Normani said.
"She's not" I yelled.
"Lauren, she was drunk and her words were slurred. I'm not a doctor but I know damn well that you aren't supposed to be drinking alcohol if you're pregnant. It's obvious she was jealous of seeing you with that girl so she decided to make a scene" Normani said.
"Camz would never do that" I said.
"Do what Lauren?" Normani asked.
"Lie to me. I make her happy" I said.
"She lied to you Lauren. I... I think you deserve better than her" Normani said.
"No, she said we deserve each other" I said.
"Lauren, she's manipulating you" Normani said.
"My mom says that" I said.
"Your mom is right and you should listen to her" Normani said.
I started to fidget with my hands and then Normani placed her hand over mine to get me to stop.
"No, my mom just wants to come between me and Camz. That's what Camila said" I said.
"Lauren, I think you and Camila need a break from one another" Normani said.
"No" I yelled at Normani startling her.
I saw the panic in Normani's eyes and I knew I was letting something I tried so hard to keep from her was slipping. Then it dawned on me that I didn't take my medication at night like I was supposed to.
"I'm sorry Mani" I said.
"It's okay Lauren" Normani said, pulling me into her arms as she kissed the top of my head.
"Are you still my best friend?" I asked.
"Of course" Normani said.
"Will you sing our favorite song to make me feel better?" I asked.
"I'll do anything for you Lauren. That's what best friends are for" Normani said.
"You don't remember how it goes, do you?" I asked.
"Not so much it's been a while since I had to sing it" Normani said.
"She would not show that she was afraid" I said.
"What?" Normani asked.
"That's how the song starts Mani" I chuckled and looked up at Normani and she smiled back down at me.
"You're laughing so that's a start" Normani said.
"Mani, sing the song" I said.
"Alright" Normani said, clearing her throat.
"You're so dramatic" I said.
"Hey, do you want me to sing it or not?" Normani said.
"Sorry, sing it" I said.
But being and feeling alone was too much to face,
Though everyone said that she was so strong,
What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on,
But she knew that she would be okay,
So she didn't let it get in her way,
Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much,
Normani sung and she continued with the rest of the song, but I started to tune her out. I thought back to the time on Valentine's Day in ninth grade when Normani sung the song to me for the very first time.
*Lauren's Flashback*
It was the day before Valentine's Day and I finally convinced my mom to take me to the store to get Camila a gift. She was not happy that Camila was my Valentine, after catching Camila and I have sex. She told Camila to get out of her house and told me to never do that with Camila again, but I did because I liked the way it felt and it made Camila happy. So happy sometimes that she told me she loved me and I got this funny feeling in my stomach like butterflies were trapped in there. I was in the store with my mom as I tried to find the perfect gift for Camila.
"Why don't you get something for Normani instead?" my mom asked.
"I don't like Normani like that" I said.
"Oh, why not?" my mom asked.
"That's gross plus she likes someone" I said, looking at the bows that I was thinking about getting Camila.
"Well as her friend you should still try to get her something" my mom said.
"Is this pretty?" I asked, holding up a red bow to my mom.
"It's beautiful sweetheart" my mom said.
"Okay then I'm getting it for Camila along with that big bear over there and a rose and a lot of chocolate and I'm going to give her a picture that I drew of her" I said excitedly.
A couple of people walking past us, stopped to stare at me as if I did something wrong. So I just smiled and waved at them and then heard a woman tell her child that I was a retard and kept walking.
"Calm down Lauren" my mom said.
"Mommy, what's a retard?" I asked.
My mom's body became tenses and the smile that was once on her face disappeared. She looked into my eyes and all I could see was anger in hers.
"Who called you that?" my mom asked.
"Brad Simpson did one time and Normani punched him in the face and then that lady right there just said it" I said, pointing in the direction to where the lady stood.
"Lauren Michelle, you are not a retard. You're just a bit different from others but that's what makes you special" my mom said.
"Okay" I shrugged and turned around.
"Sweetheart, I'm going to go talk to that woman you pointed out. I'll be right back" my mom said, kissing me on top of my head.
"Okay mom. I'm going to be by the chocolate" I said, walking over to the aisle where the chocolate was and pushing my shopping cart over there.
I didn't know at the time that my mom was getting into an argument with the lady who called me a retard. I didn't find out until I heard my parents talking about it at dinner that night.
"Clara, you can't let your temper get out of control whenever someone brings up our daughter's condition" my dad said.
"She's fifteen Mike so she's aware of things now and I be damned if someone talks shit about my daughter" my mom said.
"She'll learn how to control it eventually Clara but you can't keep babying her. Maybe it was odd for people to see her acting like an eight year old when she's fifteen" my dad said.
"Don't you dare take their side. The whole world is going to be against our daughter and the least you can do is take her side" my mom said, before standing up from the dinner table and walking upstairs and slamming the door loudly.
"Is Lauren a retard?" Chris asked and our dad glared at him.
"Don't let that word ever come out your mouth again" our dad yelled at him.
"Yes sir" Chris mumbled.
"Apologize to your sister" our dad said.
"Sorry Lauren" Chris said.
"It's okay, I don't know what it means anyway" I said.
"Just know that you're not sweetheart" my dad said.
"Daddy, are we having dessert?" Taylor asked.
"I'm done eating" I said, standing up from the table and running to my room not bothering to hear what my dad would respond.
I ran into my room and closed the door behind me and made sure everything that I was giving Camila tomorrow was in order. I was writing a letter in the card I got Camila when my phone lit up telling me I had a text. I looked and saw it was from Camila.
Camila: I can't wait for our dinner date tomorrow and to show you just how much I love you
I smiled at my phone and was about to respond when my bedroom door opened revealing my mom.
"Lauren Michelle it's time to go to bed" my mom said.
"But I'm not sleepy" I complained.
"Now Lauren" I said.
I huffed and put my phone down as I crawled into bed. My mom came over and kissed me on the cheek.
"Tuck me in?" I asked.
My mom sighed. "Lauren, you're too big to be tucked in. Other teenagers aren't tucked in by their mothers" my mom said.
"But I'm different" I said.
"Lauren, go to sleep. I love you" my mom said and when my phone vibrated again. I mentally cured myself for not putting my phone under my pillow.
My mom picked up my phone and saw the text message that Camila sent me and she pursed her lips.
"Lauren, does Camila pressure you to do things you don't want to do?" my mom asked.
"No" I said.
"Sweetie its okay to tell me" my mom said.
"She doesn't but I like making her happy" I said.
"I see" my mom said, placing my phone down and then walking to my bedroom door. She turned off the lights and before closing the door she looked at me.
"Good night" my mom said.
"Night" I said, flipping over and falling asleep.
When I woke up, I couldn't contain my excitement grabbing all the stuff for Camila and waiting at the bus stop. I saw Normani walking to the bus stop carrying a few things in her hand. I remembered my mom buying something for Mani and dug it out of my bag.
"Why do we always have to wake up so early to go to school?" Normani asked, as she approached me.
"My dad says it's because the government doesn't want kids walking around unattended" I said.
"That's stupid and the government sucks" Normani said.
"I got you something" I said.
"You did?" Normani asked.
I took a bag of cookies and cream Hershey kisses out of my bag and handed it to her. Her eyes went wide and she pulled me into a bone crushing hug.
"I can't breathe Mani" I gasped.
"Oh sorry" Normani said, letting me go and taking the candy from me.
"It's okay" I said.
"Thank you Lauren. You're the best. I got you something too" Normani said, handing me a big heart shaped size cookie. "I didn't bake it myself. I actually bought it from Publix"
"I still love it. Thanks Mani" I said.
I heard laughing behind me and saw Brad and Jacob staring at Mani and me while pointing.
"Just ignore them Lauren" Normani said, wrapping her around my shoulder.
"Aw look at the lesbians being each other's Valentine's" Brad said.
"Don't make me beat your ass again Simpson" Normani said, as the bus approached and I heard Brad stop laughing.
"That was only luck bitch" Brad said.
"Keep telling yourself that" Normani said, getting on the bus and I followed behind her.
When we arrived at school, I was eager to get through my classes to see Camila afterwards since she told me we couldn't be seen together. Whenever I asked her why she would always tell me because it made her happy and I didn't want to ruin her happiness. When it was time for lunch, I waited for Mani by her locker. I saw her at the end of the hallway talking to Ally and giving her stuff for Valentine's Day. Ally smiled up at Normani and I could tell she wanted to kiss Mani. But couldn't.
"Meet me after I spend the day with Troy?" Ally asked.
Normani sighed. "Why are you with that ogre anyway?" Normani said with frustration evident in her voice.
"My parents like him and we talked about this baby" Ally said.
"Do you do everything your parents say Ally? We told each other that we loved one another and yet you're still with him" Normani said.
"It's Valentine's Day, I don't want to argue. Just meet me, okay?" Ally said.
"Fine. Can I at least have a goodbye kiss?" Normani asked.
Ally looked around and her eyes landed on me. I awkwardly waved at her.
"Who is that?" Ally asked, her eyes getting big.
"Calm down babe it's just my best friend Lauren. She was waiting for me. She isn't going to tell anyone" Normani said.
"Are you sure?" Ally asked.
"I trust Lauren with my life plus she knows how much I love you" Normani said.
"Come here" Ally said before connecting their lips together.
My stomach started growling and I placed my hand over my stomach and bit my bottom lip nervously.
"Mani, I'm hungry" I said.
Normani broke the kiss and smiled at Ally before they both parted ways and Normani joined me to walk to the cafeteria.
"I hope Camz and I will be like you and Ally" I said.
Normani sighed. "As long as you're happy Lauren. Never forced anything that's not meant to be" Normani said.
"Camila said we're soulmates" I said happily.
"I'm sure she did. What's for lunch today?" Normani said as we both walked into the cafeteria.
"It's popcorn chicken bowl day" I said.
"Fuck yes my favorite" Normani said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the lunch line with her.
Normani grabbed a tray and handed one to me. We both grabbed a popcorn chicken bowl and chocolate milk before leaving the lunch line to sit at the table we always sat. As I sat down at the table, I couldn't help but notice Camila with her friend Dinah and Jacob's arm was wrapped around her. Camila made eye contact with me and smiled. She rolled her eyes when Brad started laughing loudly and Jacob joined in.
"It's not fair" I said, opening the container for my popcorn chicken bowl.
"I know they should've at least given us hot sauce" Normani said, taking the spork out of the plastic wrapper.
"No, I was talking about Camz" I said.
Normani turned around to look in the direction where I was staring and then looked back at me.
"Yeah it sucks but the good guys always win in the end. Never forget that Lauren. You will have Camila and I will have Ally. It's only a matter of time" Normani said, smiling at me before putting a spoonful of the contents of the bowl in her mouth.
"I hope you're right Mani" I said, digging into the contents of my bowl.
When school ended, I made sure to wait in the parking lot and she showed up ten minutes later. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Camila asked, approaching me.
"I got you a gift for Valentine's Day" I said.
"Okay, well put it in the backseat of my mom's car" Camila said, walking past me to her mom's car.
"Don't you want to open it now?" I asked.
"No, I'm not in the mood" Camila said.
"Okay" I said, following Camila to the car.
When I got inside of the car, I tried to hold Camila's hand put she pulled away from me and turned on the radio. She pulled out of the parking lot and I looked out the window. When she arrived at my house, she dropped me off and then sped off. I hope she looked at the gifts that I got her and liked them. When I see her tonight I hope that she will mention it.
I sat in my room playing video games until six. The only text I got from Camila was her telling me she would meet me at the restaurant that I chose at eight. I started to get ready and later on asked my dad to drop me off at the restaurant. I brought a single white rose with me and walked into the restaurant. Mario who was a friend of my dad's recognized me almost immediately.
"You look nice tonight" Mario said.
"Thank you. Do you have my table ready?" I asked.
"Sure thing cupcake" Mario said, leading me over to the secluded booth and I sat there waiting for Camila. But she never showed up.
It was now eleven and I stared at my phone, hoping she would call or text but it never came. I sighed and rested my head on my hand.
"Lauren, I brought you your favorite" Mario said, looking at me sadly. I stared down at the slice of pecan pie with two scoops of vanilla bean ice cream.
"Thanks" I said, taking the spoon in my hand and started eating it.
It was now midnight and as I got up to leave and pay. Mario told me to not worry about it that it was on him. I left the now empty restaurant and waited on the sidewalk. Camila's mom car pulled up to the curb. She rolled down the passenger window.
"Get in" Camila said.
I got into the passenger seat and sat in the car with Camila nervously. I remembered that I had the rose and held it out to her.
Camila rolled her eyes and took one of her hands off of the steering wheel and took the rose.
"Camz, I want to tell you something" I said.
"Can't it wait?" Camila asked annoyed.
"I love you" I said.
Camila pressed down hard on the break causing me to jerk forward. Camila looked at me.
"Don't you ever say that to me again" Camila said.
"But I do" I said.
"Shut the fuck up Lauren" Camila yelled as she continued driving.
I couldn't help the tears that started to well up in my eyes and I did my best to hide my sniffling as I looked out the window. When Camila dropped me off in front of my house, I ran down the street to Normani's house even though it was really late at night. Normani answered the door sleepily, but when she saw me crying she woke right up.
"Come here" Normani said, grabbing my hand and taking me up to their guest room.
I crawled into bed as Normani took off my shoes. Normani lay down on one side of the bed and I lay down on the other, but somehow within the moment my head was resting on her chest.
"She doesn't love me" I sniffled.
"It's okay Lauren" Normani said, stroking my hair in comfort.
"Why doesn't she love me?" I asked, lifting my head up to look at Normani.
Normani never answered my question, but instead she clicked a button on her speakers that were on the night stand and music started to fill the room as Normani sung along.
She would always tell herself she could do this
She would use no help it would be just fine
But when it got hard she would lose her focus
So take my hand and we'll be alright
And she knew that she would be okay,
So she didn't let it get in her way,
Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much, yeah.
I drifted off to sleep to Normani's singing.
*End of Flashback*
Normani snapped her fingers in front of my face bringing me out of my train of thought.
"Jesus, was my singing that bad?" Normani asked.
"No, I just thought of the first time you sung to me" I said.
"Oh, are you feeling better?" Normani asked.
"Yeah, I kind of want to go home" I said, getting out of the bed and walking to the bedroom door.
"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" Normani asked.
"I guess we'll have to see" I said, opening the door and Normani following right behind me.
Once I got to my car, I drove home and was about to walk into my bedroom until I heard my parents talking from their bedroom.
"Which one is it Mike? First they tell us that Lauren was autistic at a young age and now they are telling us that she has dependent personality disorder" my mom said sounding frustrated.
"Clara, calm down we knew from the beginning that nothing was certain and Lauren is a special case" my dad said.
"The only person our daughter is dependent on his that manipulative bitch Camila Cabello" my mom said angrily.
"You can't blame this all on Camila" my dad said.
"Mike, she's taking advantage of our daughter. Were you not listening when Alejandro called telling us that Camila was pregnant with our daughter's child" my mom said, raising her voice.
"We'll figure this all out in the morning Clara. There's no reason to stress over it" my dad said.
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation because I ran back downstairs and out the front door and almost ran into Camila, who was standing on my porch in tears with bags in her hands.
"I want to run away Lolo and it would make me happy if you ran away with me" Camila said.
I stared at Camila not sure what to do and I opened and closed my mouth.
"Don't you care about my happiness Lolo? What about our baby?" Camila said, placing her hand on her stomach.
"You said it wasn't mine" I said.
"I lied because you hurt me" Camila said.
"Normani said you're lying about the baby" I said.
"Don't listen to anything she says Lolo. She just wants to come between us. I'm happy whenever we're together and we can have our own little family. Don't you want that?" Camila said.
I looked at Camila and then looked back at my house. I wasn't sure what to do. I made a promise long ago to make Camila happy no matter what. But for some reason this was a hard decision for me as I chewed on my bottom lip nervously.
"Will it make you happy?" I asked.
Camila smirked at me and nodded her head yes, as I followed her to my car.