A/N: I'm having writer's block so please help me get ideas!! ♡
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At dinner, I joined Minho and Thomas who were sitting next to each other.
'Find anything today?' I immediately asked.
'No.' Thomas replied. 'Section seven still won't open. It was supposed to open yesterday.' He sighed.
'Can I please come with you for once?' I pouted.
'It's fine to me.' Thomas shrugged.
'We can't just do that.' Minho said.
'Then have a gathering about it, just like you did with Thomas.' I commented.
'But Newt-.'
'Newt can't decide for me.' I interrupted Minho.
'Fine. We'll talk to Newt and maybe even Alby if he ever wakes up.' Minho sighed.
'Thanks.'
The three of us kept eating and after a while, Teresa and Chuck joined us. Thomas, Teresa, and Chuck immediately started talking to each other and I looked around for Newt.
'Minho, where's Newt?' I wondered.
'I don't know.' Minho replied.
'I'm going to look for him.'
'Seriously? He's gone for one second and you're already worried?'
'Yes.' I walked away and searched for Newt. After checking the Homestead, Deadheads, and even the Blood House, I walked into the med-hut.
'Newt?' I looked around but didn't see him.
'Here.' I suddenly heard a familiar accent say. Immediately I walked toward Newt's voice and saw him sitting on a chair next to Alby's bed.
'He has to wake up soon. Everything is going wrong without him. Gally's turning crazy, people are getting moody and scared, no way out of the maze... I'm not a good leader. We need Alby.' Newt's voice cracked and I broke by his words.
He was trying so hard to lead the Glade and I didn't even notice the stress he had. 'Newt, you're doing great. Without you, everything would've gone wrong, but it didn't. Alby is going to wake up soon and we'll find a way out. We have to.'
Newt didn't respond and looked at Alby. The black veins were fading and his chest moved up and down in a steady way. It wouldn't take much longer until he woke up.
'Let's go.' Newt got up from his chair and motioned for me to walk out of the med-hut.
'Don't you have to eat?' I asked when he walked past the kitchen.
'Not hungry.' Newt replied.
I wanted to ask him about me being a Runner, but his mood wasn't the very best and I didn't want to make it worse. How didn't I notice he was so anxious? He must think I'm so selfish.
'Are you tired?' Newt stopped walking and looked at me.
'A little, I guess.' I shrugged. 'Are you?'
'We'll just go to your hut, okay?'
'Sure.'
We got in my hut. 'I'll put on my pajamas.' I said.
'Okay.' Newt averted my eyes from me and waited for me to get dressed. I did the same thing while he got dressed. Even though we had seen each other in underwear multiple times, we still did that.
'Done.' Newt said once he put on his pajamas. He crawled into the bed and motioned for me to get in too. I lay down next to him and moved closer to him.
Slowly my thoughts drifted off.
What if section seven never opens again? It has to. We need to escape. I'll become a Runner and get Chuck and the others out of here, no matter if Newt doesn't want me to be a Runner. He can't decide for me. It's very kind of him not to want me to get hurt, but I want to go into the maze. He doesn't want me to because of his limp. He's scared I'm gonna feel the same as he did before. What if I'm only making things worse for him now? He's already so anxious...
Just as often, guilt washed over my body.
I'm not making things better at all. I go whine about being a Runner while he got a lot on his mind already. Maybe he would let me be one if I wasn't hurt and my wrist was intact. What if I never did it? Things would be so much better. He tries to help me and the only thing I do is make these stupid cuts. But they make me feel better...
I wanted to stop all my thoughts and just fall asleep in Newt's arms, but I couldn't. Exactly like multiple times, I craved for relief.
'What's wrong, love?' Newt whispered.
'Nothing.' I quietly answered.
I promised to tell him whenever I feel like doing it. But what if I just wait until he falls asleep- no. I'm not going to do it. I need to stop.
'Nora?' Newt looked at me, worried. 'What's wrong?' He repeated.
'Nothing.'
'Something's wrong.' Newt pointed out. 'What is it, Nora?'
I bit my lip. I'm ashamed. Newt shouldn't find out.
'Nora, please talk to me.' Newt lifted my chin and looked me in the eyes.
'I-.' My voice cracked. 'I feel like- I feel guilty..' I paused. 'I feel like doing it.' I lowered my voice so much, I wondered if he could even hear it.
'It's okay.' Newt wrapped his arms around me. 'What can I do to help?'
'I don't know.' I muttered.
Newt pulled me even closer to him and wrapped his arms around me tighter than before. The way his strong arms held me close to him made me feel safe. Safer than ever.
'Is this better?' Newt whispered.
'Yes.' I nodded. 'Thank you.'