Song for this chapter: Lovely by Billie Eilish & Khalid
"Yoongi...why don't you want me?" I cried softly, desperately, searching his eyes for something, anything.
His nostrils flared and his brows pinched together slightly as he looked back at me, before sighing and leaning back in his chair, running a hand through his shaggy hair.
"This isn't about you. I know it might not seem like it, but this isn't personal," he said.
My eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.
"Not personal?!" I all but screeched.
His mouth flattened out and he crossed his arms as he spoke to me.
"No. Not personal. This isn't as simple as two people meeting their soulmates, it's bigger than you and I. It's...complicated. We are both better off separately," he explained to me as if I were a child.
It was the most I had ever heard him speak, and yet he still said nothing. My tears dried up real fast as anger suffused through my body.
"How? Were you not paying attention? We need each other to fucking live!" I hissed, my hands curling into fists.
He narrowed his eyes at me, their dark depths glinting dangerously.
"Yeah. I heard him. We just need to endure this for a little bit," he ground out.
"And then?"
"And then we can each live our lives, free."
Free.
That one little word felt like a dagger in my heart. So, having a soulmate was like a prison to him? How was I not supposed to take that personally?
I sat back in my chair and looked away from him. I needed to end this conversation before things got worse. I didn't think we were going to get anywhere right now anyway. We were both exhausted and on edge.
As I stared at the sagging bookshelf on the other side of the room, I heard Yoongi shift in his chair before he cleared his throat.
"Look--" he started to speak but he was cut off by the door swinging open. The doctor stepped back into the room, followed by Tae and Namjoon.
My eyes immediately locked onto Tae's. He looked relieved to see me as he pushed his way over to the table and took the seat right next to me. I, too, felt a sense of relief at having him back by my side.
This entire day had been so confusing, and I was hurting. Tae was my only constant in this, and his presence soothed me. Not for the first time that day, I wondered why Tae wasn't my soulmate instead.
I looked back over at Yoongi, but he was speaking quietly with Namjoon, ignoring us. Dr. Lee approached the table and handed Yoongi and I each a folder.
"Here is your discharge paperwork, as well as all of the relevant information about life mates. We have also scheduled some soul therapy sessions for you and Mr. Min. You will find all the details of those appointments in the folder. We have also included a copy of our report to the International Soulmate Union," he told us matter-of-factly.
I nodded slowly, clutching the folder. I glanced up through my lashes and saw Yoongi nod curtly at the doctor, before sliding his chair back from the table.
"So, are we free to go then?" he asked bluntly.
"Yes, we are done here. However, I believe Mr. Kim, ah, that is Mr. Kim Namjoon, asked one of your managers and lawyer to come here in order to settle some important details about both of your daily lives," he stated before shuffling towards the door. "Please do not hesitate to reach out if you have questions or if anything urgent should arise. And please, do think about what I told you."
I smiled sadly at the doctor and nodded at me before he stepped out of the room. His advice was in vain, it seemed. Yoongi and I were going to be at square one for a long time.
I turned to Tae and exclaimed, "I can't believe you're still here. You didn't have to stay this whole time."
He gave me a rueful smile as he took my hand.
"I wouldn't leave you here alone. I needed to make sure you're okay. Plus, I think you're going to come home with us," he told me softly.
My shoulders tensed up. What? Go home with them?
My wide eyes darted to Yoongi's, but he was looking at my hand in Tae's, an unreadable expression on his face. It felt like déjà vu.
Namjoon coughed and scratched the back of his neck.
"Ah, yeah. So, we were talking with management, and we think it best if you were to come back to the old dorms with us while you and Yoongi settle into this," he said awkwardly.
I had wondered how long it would take for BigHit to interfere in all of this. It seemed like my decisions were already being taken out of my hands. I started to feel a sense of powerlessness, and it scared the hell out of me.
I tried to control the tone of my voice as I responded, "Oh? So, management thinks it best if I move in with Yoongi and .... who else?"
Namjoon seemed to relax a tiny bit when I didn't immediately bite his head off. Little did he know that I was just waiting for the right moment. During all my time in therapy I had learned not to react but to respond instead. I just needed more details before I could strike.
"Well, they think it best if I stay there as well to keep an eye on things. And Taehyungie insisted he be included as well, which I didn't think you'd have a problem with. JK is undecided. We haven't told the rest of the members yet but knowing them, you could potentially be rooming with all seven of us. This is the first soulmate any of us has found. Some of the members have girlfriends but no soulmates yet," he explained.
I pulled my hand from Tae's and folded both of them on the table as I continued.
"I see. And how long did management say this was to go on for? What about my personal life or my job?" I asked calmly.
Namjoon crinkled his eyebrows and said, "We didn't get around to talking about that. But surely you didn't think it would be wise just to go back to your day-to-day life after all of this did you? You shouldn't be out in public. I am sure you can find something to occupy yourself with while we figure this all out. Plus, there is a studio in the dorm, so Yoongi won't have a problem continuing his own work. This just...works."
He looked almost smug as he explained to me how I was going to live my life for the foreseeable future. I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded my head slowly.
I glanced at Yoongi, and he seemed to be watching me with a cautious expression. I could also feel Tae shifting around in his seat next to me, so he might have sensed something off as well.
"Hyung, I--" Tae was cut off I laid my hand on his shoulder to quiet him. He turned to me warily, but I ignored him.
I took a deep breath to steady myself and pushed my chair back from the table before abruptly standing up.
All three men looked up at me. Namjoon looked puzzled, Yoongi looked apprehensive, and Tae looked downright distressed.
Don't react. Respond. I told myself.
"Now you listen to me, Kim Namjoon. I am not an object that exists solely for Yoongi's comfort. I am a person. I have a job, a life. I have my own dreams, needs, and desires. All of this was sprung on me just as much as it was on Yoongi. He isn't the only one who had their life changed in an instant. I matter. I get to choose. So, unless your manager is ready to kidnap me, I will not be moving into a new apartment at the drop of a hat. I will decide what I want," I declared, glaring at Namjoon.
He was staring up at me with his jaw hanging open.
I heard Yoongi scoff, so I whipped my head to the side to stare at him. He scowled at me and abruptly stood up too, causing his chair to fall backwards with a loud clang.
"Now, you listen here, little girl. You need me more than I need you. You should trust that we know best when it comes to these matters," he snarled.
Did he just call me little girl?!
My blood hit a boiling point as Yoongi and I faced off across the table. "Is that a threat Mr. Min?" I asked slowly.
He raised one eyebrow and said, "It could be."
I sucked in a breath, ready to tear into him but Namjoon stood up quickly and pulled Yoongi back by his collar.
"Okay, okay. It seems like we still have a lot of things to hash out. I'm sorry if we offended you, we were just trying to come up with a solution for the time being. JK went and picked up some food for us, but I think Yoongi and I need to have a private discussion before we eat. Do you mind going out and giving us some space? JK should be in the staff kitchen with the food. Taehyung, you should probably stay for this as well," he said.
My anger was starting to dissipate again, only to be replaced with heartache. What was it about Yoongi that made my temper flare up so much?
I averted my eyes from Yoongi and turned to Tae. "Is that okay? Is JK going to be okay sitting with me?" I asked him softly.
He stood up next to me and pulled me into a hug. I thought I heard something like a grunt come from Yoongi's direction, but I ignored it. Tae's arms were warm and comforting. If we didn't have an audience, I might have melted into him and let myself finally break down. But I continued to hold it in. Just like I always did.
Tae pulled back and said, "Yeah. JK will look out for you, he has actually been worrying non-stop about you. Try to relax a bit and eat something. You need to get some strength back."
God, he was so handsome. Even with the stresses of the last 24 hours showing plainly on his face, he was still one of the most perfect people I had ever seen. His fluffy dark hair was sticking up in every direction and he had bags under his eyes, but he was flawless. And he was looking at me like I was too.
I blushed slightly and nodded before stepping towards the door. I felt a sense of loss at leaving Yoongi behind, but I shoved it down. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head as I opened the door and left the small room.
Out in the hallway, I stopped a nurse and asked her where the staff kitchen was. She eyed me up and down but eventually gave me directions. Not five minutes later, I was seated in a small kitchenette area that had two round tables with various types of chairs scattered around them. The only thing that made it a "kitchen" instead of a random room was a small microwave on the counter next to a water-stained metal sink. I didn't see a fridge, but there was a vending machine shoved into a corner that looked to be fully stocked.
JK wasn't here but I didn't care. I was glad to be alone for a moment.
I laid my arms on the table in front of me and dropped my head down onto them. What the fuck was I going to do? My soulmate saw me as a prison. And despite my big speech back there, I knew Namjoon was right. I was going to have to go with them. I was going to have put my life on pause for this. Maybe...even forever.
The thought saddened me, but what was I supposed to do? And really—who was I?
A nobody.
Who was I compared to Suga of BTS?
Nothing.
I didn't matter, not really.
I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back a tide of tears. I couldn't break down here. Plus, I was feeling a little faint again.
I scoffed internally. Wow, what was that? An hour, maybe? An hour before I could go without starting to feel Yoongi withdrawals. I was so, so fucked.
I was startled out of my misery as I heard the chair across from me slide out and someone settle in it. I lifted my head and looked up to see JK sitting opposite of me, staring at me with a worried expression.
His large doe eyes were filled with concern and his own curly dark hair was also sticking up wildly. I mentally chuckled. It seemed like every one of us looked like hell. At least I could take some small comfort in that, I guess.
"Oh, hi Jungkook," I greeted him softly.
He inclined his head towards me and started digging in the bag of food he brought. It smelled good at first but then my stomach started to churn so I laid my head back down and just listened to him unpack the containers.
Although JK was practically a stranger to me, I didn't feel uncomfortable in his presence. In fact, he made me feel somewhat at ease. He didn't try to pry. He was content to sit in silence with me.
It was a kind of peace that I really needed at the moment.
Before I knew it, the tears I had managed to hold back began silently streaming down my face. I cried softly into my arms, trying to keep quiet but I failed.
I flinched as I felt a hand tentatively start stroking my head. JK was brushing my hair as he started to hum a gentle melody. It was beautiful.
I ended up crying even harder into my arms until I was full on sobbing. At some point JK had come around the table to my side and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me fast. He continued to hum, even as my sobs got louder. As much as I hated having a breakdown here, it felt good to release all of the tension.
I eventually calmed down and sat up, wiping my face as best as I could. I knew I looked all red and splotchy.
"I'm sorry," I muttered, averting my eyes.
"Shh, don't worry. I understand. I'm glad you got it out," he replied.
I nodded my head and looked down at my hands in my lap. This was awkward. And while I did feel a bit better after my crying session, I also started to feel pretty sick. I guess the side effects of not being near Yoongi were getting steadily worse.
Jungkook slid a plastic bowl of something in front of me, removing the lid and cracking open some chopsticks.
"Here. You should eat something. I didn't know what you like so I got you some spicy noodle soup. It's my girlfriend Ness's favorite," he said.
Wow, our golden maknae has a girlfriend. That was so sweet. I offered him a watery smile.
"Thank you Jungkook...I'm sure it's good but I just...I am not very hungry. I'm actually kind of feeling a little off. I kind of just want to sit here," I uttered quietly.
His doe eyes narrowed at me and pointed at the bowl.
"Eat. At least a few mouthfuls. I won't eat unless you do," he proclaimed.
I scowled at him. "No fair!"
He grinned at me and crossed his arms, "Let's go Noona, get a move on."
I raised my eyebrows at him. "Noona, eh?"
Still grinning he played with his lip ring as he looked down at me with sparking eyes.
"Yeah, you're Yoongi-hyung's soulmate and therefore my Noona!" he exclaimed happily.
At the mention of Yoongi, my heart sank and the slight smile slipped off of my face.
I lowered my head and looked down at my lap again.
"Hey...sorry. I get that this is all crazy and hard for both of you," he said gently.
I didn't look up as I responded.
"He doesn't want anything to do with me. We literally need each other to live, but he can't get rid of me fast enough. I don't...matter to him like a soulmate should."
I heard him take in a sharp breath.
"Wait, you need each other to live? Are you...life mates?" he asked incredulously.
I nodded my head miserably.
"Shit, this is complicated."
He reached over and placed his hand on mine. His tattooed fingers contrasted sharply against my skin, and I marveled at how intricate and numerous they were.
"Yoongi is a good man, but he can also be incredibly stubborn and cold at first. I promise you that he just needs time to come around," he tried to assure me.
I scoffed under my breath. "Jungkook...I don't want my soulmate to come around to me. I want to be wanted. To be loved...." I trailed off.
He sighed and gripped my hand tighter. It seemed we both didn't know what else to say in the moment.
After a few minutes, I pulled away and tried to eat some of the noodle soup. But my stomach was getting increasingly upset, and I was feeling faint.
Jungkook started to eat some of his own food and was scrolling on his phone next to me.
I dropped my chopsticks on the table and leaned forward slowly. The room had started spinning, making me dizzy. I felt like I was going to pass out.
JK must have noticed my awkward movement and he turned to me with a puzzled expression before it morphed into concern as I slumped forward.
"Ah, shit! Noona, hang on. We need to get you to Yoongi!" he cried.
I nodded sluggishly and tried to stand but my legs gave way. Before I knew it, Jungkook had swept me up into his arms bridal style and was rushing out of the kitchen and down the hallway.
He didn't know exactly where he should be going, so he wandered past each door shouting out Yoongi's name.
Eventually, one of the doors opened and Yoongi himself stepped out with an irritated expression. It looked like he was about to scold JK before his eyes landed on me in his arms.
He hurried over to us and asked, "What the fuck? Why are you carrying her around like that?"
"She was going to faint, hyung! She needs you! Stop wasting time and take her!" JK all but shrieked.
Yoongi paused and looked down at me for a moment before taking a step back.
"Bring her into the office, we shouldn't do this out here," he ordered.
Jungkook huffed out an irritated breath and pushed past Yoongi into the room behind him.
Tae jumped up as soon as JK entered the room. "What's wrong with her?" he yelled.
Jungkook set me down gently in one of the chairs as he replied to Tae, "She is feeling soulmate symptoms and Yoongi needs to quit stalling and help her."
Yoongi padded up to me quietly and reached out to lay his hand on mine.
The relief was instant, and I sighed as I laid my head on the table. Lately, I felt like all I had done was slump over tables.
My emotions were swirling around me, confusing and terrifying me. I felt such sadness, rejection, hurt, anger, disgust, but also euphoria at being so physically close to Yoongi. It was all too much.
"I just want to go home," I cried softly.
Tae smoothed a hand over my hair, and I felt Yoongi's hand tighten slightly around mine, but no one responded to my quiet plea.
I gathered my strength and sat up, looking straight across the table at Namjoon.
He was leaning on the table, rubbing his temples, but his eyes snapped to mine when I spoke up.
"Okay, Namjoon, let's talk about my moving in," I conceded.
-------------------------
Author POV:
45 Minutes Earlier
As soon as Sabrina had left the office, Namjoon turned to Taehyung with a serious expression and said, "I need you to tell me what is going on between you and Sabrina right now before things get out of hand."
Taehyung bristled and replied curtly, "She is my girl. We were going to start dating before all of this happened. And don't you think this is already way out of hand?"
Yoongi snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, making Taehyung glare in his direction.
Namjoon sighed and shook his head. "Taehyung, you have to know that she is not your girl. Not anymore at least."
It was Taehyung's turn to snort. "Yes, she is. She belongs with me, I know it. This whole soulmate thing is a colossal mistake, and I am going to prove it."
Yoongi leaned forward, piercing his eyes into Taehyung's.
"Let's make a deal, then."
"A deal? For what exactly?"
"You want her? Then you can have her. Because I certainly don't."
Namjoon cranked his head towards him, astonished. "Yoongi. What the hell are you talking about? You need each other to live, for fucks sake!"
Yoongi shook his head. "For now. The doctor said we could separate safely if we spent some time together. If that is the cost of freedom, I will pay it. But aside from that, there is something else you should know. If I had never met that girl, she could have been happy with Taehyung- almost as if they were soulmates themselves."
Taehyung reared back like he had been punched. So... was all of this his fault in the end? If he hadn't pressed for her to meet the guys...she could've been his....
Namjoon let out a sharp breath and griped, "That information is NOT helpful Yoongi."
"Sure, it is. It solves everything. I don't want that girl. Taehyungie does. Win. Win." he drawled.
Taehyung slammed his fist down on the table as he finally snapped.
"Say her fucking name. SABRINA! Her name is SABRINA! Not little girl. Not that girl. SABRINA! For some goddamned reason, the universe granted you a soulmate, but not just any soulmate, a life mate! I don't know how you got someone as special as she is, but here we are!" He screamed, red-faced.
Yoongi didn't bat an eye at Taehyung's outburst. Instead, he just stared at him with cold, unfeeling eyes as he said in a calm voice, "Once we can separate without her dying, that girl is yours."
If Yoongi wasn't his brother, Taehyung would have jumped across the table a long time ago. He was struggling to stay still as it was.
Unconcerned with Taehyung's growing indignation, Yoongi continued.
"Hell, you can even mess around with her now! It might help distract both of you from bothering me all the fucking time. I can just see how needy she is going to be already," he sneered.
Namjoon was staring at Yoongi in shock, his mouth agape. He had never heard something so twisted from his brothers mouth.
Taehyung was equally outraged, but he quickly decided to brush it aside. If Yoongi didn't want Sabrina, then he would take care of her.
Fuck Yoongi.
Taehyung visibly relaxed and looked up at the ceiling, letting out a short laugh.
"You're a fucking fool Yoongi. And, one day, when you realize it, it's going to be too late," he chuckled dryly.
Taehyung could have sworn he saw Yoongi flinch, but he chalked it up to his imagination.
Sabrina was always meant to be his, he just knew it. He would claim her heart and love her like she deserved.
She belonged to him.
---------------
A/N:
Aw shit, things are heating up
yoongi is losing is cool aint he
who are y'all rooting for right now?
team tae-------------comment here
team yoongi--------comment here
team namkook-----comment here
fyi: joon's purple hair makes me wet