thantophobia
(n.) phobia of loosing someone you love .
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it's been 5 days since jimin is here with me .
everything is alright...or at least that's what it seems like . jimin ...at first i was so happy to find him , i still am but seeing him breaks my heart. was i too late ? can i not do anything to help him now ?
he just sits quite, staring at nothing . but when i go to him he smiles ...even laughs at time . and when he sense that I'm worried he always tell how grateful and happy he is to be with me but...it doesn't feel right .
because i know ...
i know he's not happy.
a few days ago when he first came here , he was terrified of everyone and everything. he was scared of mom and dad too . he flinched whenever he was near them .
i saw him covered in bruises when i accidentally opened the door while he was changing.
the sight terrified me . i was filled with rage, who dared do this to him ?
i asked him ...i asked him who it was ...he didn't answer.
said it was not important anymore...that it didn't matter.
i asked him if it was jungkook...but he denied.
he refused to talk about jungkook.
i knew something was wrong but ... whenever i tried to ask him he always changed the subject.
first i thought that jungkook was the reason behind his state , that he was abusing jimin .
few days back i had enough i decided to confront jungkook when i saw jimin crying alone .
i told jimin , that I'll make sure jungkook pays for this , i told him jungkook deserves punishment, i said that he was a monster.
but jimin cried more ...that night he finally opened up . telling me that i was wrong, he spent hrs crying in my arms telling me how much he loves jungkook , how good of a human jungkook was.
that night i got answer to many of my questions but ...it confused me even more .
if it wasn't jungkook, then who did this to jimin and what was that ...that night when saw jungkook pushing jimin .
i asked jimin about it ...but that was my mistake.
jimin turned off like i just pressed a switch and he snapped out of it again. he just closed down again .
said he didn't want to talk about it .
so i stoped i never asked him again , i told him that he could tell me anytime , that i will always be here for him.
but jimin refused to open up.
he was like a robot , he laughed, he smiled he played with minnie , he helped mum cook , he listened to my dad's never ending dad jokes , he even laughed until he couldn't breathe.
but ... only i could see what no one could .
there was ocean of sadness behind those smiling eyes.
it was eating me alive .
what could i do to help him ...was there nothing i could do ?
current time
jimin was playing with minnie in the garden while i was watching him.
i loved seeing him like this ...all lovely and smily .
but ...still something always felt off about his smile ...his eyes they no longer sparkeld like they did before...
it was like something was dying inside him...that i wanted to save so bad .
i was busy admiring jimin's cute giggles when i saw a shadow.
it scared me ...i knew i saw something . i was damn sure of it this time .
since the day jimin cane here , i always felt like someone was there watching us . but i couldn't find anyone.
but this time i was sure there was someone outside the garden.
i smiled at jimin when he saw me stand there alreted. i told him i was going inside .
as i walked inside i quickly took out my phone to watch the cctv footage . i installed cameras everywhere for jimin's safety and all of them were connected to my phone so i could watch anytime.
....my doubt was right there was a man standing right outside our compound wall , right where jimin was standing .
he was watching jimin.
i gritted my teeth walking all the way to the back of the garden so he wouldn't know , I'll surely catch that freaking bastard who's hurting my minnie !!
I won't let him slip out of my hands today .
two days later ...
the time had came ...
I'll have to leave today.
it's been a week .
time went so fast with tae ... now i regret that my day's with him are over . i knew this would happen.
but i still decided to stay and play with his heart again.
i knew it'll only hurt him but i still did it !
I'm ashamed of myself...but i just wanted to be with him ....how could i let go of my last chance to be with him.
I'm sorry tae tae ... I'm really sorry I've to leave you again... please don't hate me ... please forgive me if you can .
it was 3 in the morning jimin couldn't sleep , he was crying his heart out sitting by the window clutching fluffy as minnie snuggled closer to him in her sleep .
Minnie...
everytime he saw that little kitten, his heart hurt knowing that this was how much taehyung loved him . it made his heart swell with love but bleed with regret.
he didn't want to hurt taehyung but that was exactly what he'll be doing now .
that's what he always do ...hurt everyone.
he sobbed again trying not to remember jungkooks sobbing figure laying on the cold floor begging for him to say .
his cries haunted him ...
he continued to sob all night mumbling sorrys as he stared at his phone screen ....
text : you're time is finally over baby !
tommorow 10 pm , be there on time , the same adress. don't be late or you'll regret.
can't wait to see your beautiful face .
jimin cringed at the message...thar disgusting pervert...
but that'll be his life from now on ...
he cried again not knowing what to do...he felt helpless.
jungkook...i - i love you I'm scared i don't want to go ... please save me ...
jin hyung... namjoon hyung ...*sob*
he cried all night...
even when the sun came up he couldn't stop crying.
he locked himself in the room telling taehyung that he was not in the mood to talk .
but taehyung didn't give up threatening jimin that he'll break the door if he didn't open.
jimin had no choice...he opened the door putting yet another fake smile...
he couldn't eat ... couldn't speak...
his anxiety was killing him .
he even taught about drowning himself when he was bathing...but he couldn't even do that .
he was scared that jungkook will suffer the consequences of his actions yet again.
so he kept on living, even tho he was already dead inside.
taehyung was quick to sense jimin's distress but there was nothing he could do about it other that trying to comfort jimin.
so they cuddled all day while jimin continued to cry in taehyungs arms.
6pm...
the sun was down it was evening already...they both fell asleep in each other's arms .
taehyung woke up from his slumber feeling a hot body against his .
omg ... he's burning.
jimin was burning with fever ...his face all red as he was still asleep.
taehyung took care of him , wiping him till his fever came down .
10 pm
jimin woke up trying to observe his surroundings...his fever had came down.
he saw taehyung beside him asleep still holding onto his hand.
jimin blinked few time ...
his whole body tensed up when he saw the clock ...
no !... I've to go !
he gulped...his heart was racing .
he softly pulled his hand out of taehyungs hold not wanting to wake him up .
he got up taking the money he kept beside the bed . it was enough for the taxi fare...
he glanced at fluffy picking him up .
he looked at Minnie who was just beside him on the bed .
then at taehyung ...
tears fell ...he didn't realise that he was crying already.
he wiped his tears looking at fluffy once again.
" you belong here ... " he said putting him beside taehyung .
fluffy was a part of him ...that he couldn't live without...he had been his only source of comfort...his only hope
but it was over now ...there was no point in hoping...his life will never be the same now .
he'll never be the same now. looking at fluffy reminded him of the friendship he didn't want to loose .
but now he had to give up on everything...his love , his friendship... everything.
there was no space of these things in his life anymore...he didn't deserve it anymore.
" please take care of him ... I'll miss you ..." he said as he glanced at taehyung the last time trying to seal the memories forever...
knowing damn well this will be the last time he'll ever get to see him ...he last time he'll ever get to be ...jimin .
because jimin will be dead the second he steps out of this house... he'll only be a toy for those sick people to play with.
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will taehyung be able to save jimin...?
will jimin ever get to see jungkook again... before it's too late?