'It doesn't get easier the more you delay it.' ~ Thunder.
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Lylas' POV:
It's been a few days since my attacks but I've honestly been feeling a little better. Luckily nothing else has happened to trigger anymore panic attacks which I've really been happy about. After a boring day of classes me and the crew were now hanging out and I felt happy to be around people who I felt comfortable around.
"I hate people." Ethan said making me laugh. His head was laying on my lap as I played with his hair. I was sitting on my bed with my back against the headboard.
Right after his words I zoned out like I was for most of the evening.
"What's up with you?" Jay asked making me snap back to reality.
My mind honestly kept going back to Mr.Greys office along with all the other times he took care of me and how he really cared about what was happening with me. I'm really trying to decide if I should admit to him or not. I probably shouldn't though.
"Nothing, just stressed with all these class assignments." I sighed at the end to make it as believable as possible. It was half of the truth in all honesty.
"Ugh I know right! Ms.Ortega is being an ass about this stupid project she's assigned. She needs to fucking get laid." Delilah spoke in an annoyed tone making me smile and laugh.
"How about we set her up with Mr.Grey? She's obsessed with the man." I said making Delilah grin.
"Mr.Grey is yours Lyla no way." She smirk and I rolled my eyes.
"He hates my guts and I hate him so not happening."
"Denial." Elena said making me glare at her.
"That's a river in Egypt I believe." I said making her laugh.
"Fine let's set them up." And with that we started planning.
[A Week Later]
A week of failed attempts has gone by and I can't say I'm surprised. Gosh making two people fall in love was so exhausting. He showed no signs of interest and Ms.Ortega was all over the idiot.
"Why is he just standing there?" I asked Ethan to which he shrugged with his blank face. I groaned annoyed by this.
We were spying through a window looking into his classroom watching our latest attempt to make something happen but he and Ms.Ortega just stood inches apart not saying a damn word. Ms.Ortega slowly licked her lips and he just watched her with his unemotional face. SERIOUSLY?! Fucking virgin!
"Come on just fucking kiss." I groaned out growing impatient. For fuck sakes it's been a week of enclosing them in small and private spaces for gods sakes!
Ms.Ortega grabbed his face and kissed him making me lowly cheer. Hell yes! He pulled back just as quickly though.
"What are you doing Ms.Ortega? I don't date coligues nor am I interested in forming a relationship with you other than coworkers." He said coldly making me groan.
"This man and his fucking morals for fuck sakes. I mean just whip it out and fuck her for gods sake." I groaned out making Ethan chuckle.
"Maybe we should drug them and put them in a bed naked together, maybe it'll happen." He said with a shrug.
"Good idea, we'll call that plan E." I said with a low chuckle due to the crazy idea.
"Let's go, clearly nothings going to happen between them. God he's such an ass he's probably a virgin." I sighed out as we both walked off. Moments after the group came together and I told them he's probably gay by the way he just shut the woman down. When the night fell upon us everyone headed to their own rooms but as I laid in bed a text came in that made me instantly freeze.
'Stop trying to set me up with Ms.Ortega if you don't want detention for the rest of the year Ms.Valentine.' Fuck! Deny! DENY! DENY!!!
'No clue what you're talking about sir.'
'I saw you, now bye.'
Ugh fuck me!
I opened the group chat and immediately texted to tell them.
'We're busted, mostly me.'
'Lolll! Seriously?!' Elena texted making me groan.
'Now bye.'
'Abort mission guys, let's leave the virgin alone😂.' I texted laughing my ass off.
'I'm a virgin now?'
AH FUCK ME! I didn't even notice I opened our chat! I quickly opened the group chat and triple checked it before typing.
'Guys I meant to send 'Abort mission guys, let's leave the virgin alone😂.' in here but I accidentally sent it to Mr.Grey!' I was panicking if I'm being honest.
'Oh my god!' Everyone basically texted in the group chat.
'What the hell do I do??!!'
'Suck his dick, maybe he'll forgive you.' Delilah texted making me roll my eyes but let out a short laugh before a text came in.
'Delilah come on! Now that's an image I can't get out of my damn head!' Eric responded making a bunch of laugh emojis come up on my screen from everyone else in the chat.
'Guys I'm serious!' A text came in from Mr.Grey and I had to read it three times to make sure I read it right.
'I can show you just how straight I am if needed.' My jaw was literally now on the floor.
"Oh my god!" I verbalized placing a hand over my mouth. I-did I read that right?!
'Can you people shut up?! Some of us are trying to sleep.' Justin texted snapping me out of shocked trance and I laughed out loud after reading the text.
'Are you sleeping in your bed for once?' Elena texted making me laugh because I was about to text that.
'Fuck you.' He texted making me send some laughing emojis. A text from Mr.Grey came in and I didn't even want to read it but did either way.
'What? No snarky remarks left Ms.Valentine?' Ugh Mr.Grey you're driving me insane.
'I'm sorry Mr.Grey I won't meddle in your virgin life anymore.' I texted rolling my eyes.
'Goodbye Ms.Valentine.'
Fuck I'm so screwed.
It's been a week since Mr.Grey has started acting weird and I would be lying if I said it wasn't bothering me. It definitely wasn't because of the stupid text I sent him, I mean I should be the one acting weirdly. Every time he looked at me he would look away rather quickly making me feel weird. Even after all my episodes and panic attacks he never avoided my gaze though I did try to avoid his so what the heck?! What's even more annoying is that I don't understand why I care!
I've honestly grown tired and annoyed of his behavior. It was currently now after class on a Friday and luckily I didn't have a second period so I could press him about it. Once the classroom grew empty and it was just the two of us left I made my way to him and folded my arms over my chest standing in front of his desk as he packed up.
"What's your problem?" Angrily I asked glaring his way. God why did I even care?! Ugh this prick!
"I have loads of problems, please elaborate Ms.Valentine." He finished off with a sigh as he looked up at me with a tired and bored look. He stood to his full height and folded his arms over his broad chest.
"You've been avoiding me every day for a week! Along with that you always go the other way when you see me and you avoid my gaze every time, did I do something? I mean I've been staying out of trouble, my uniforms fixed, and I've been...behaved." I said with a disgust tone.
"What's your point Ms.Valentine?" He asked with his bored tone.
"You know what, no point whatsoever, just-ugh fuck you!" I shouted before storming off.
"Lyla stop." He spoke calmly making me stop mid step before slowly fulfilling my step. I turned around and crossed my arms again over my chest glaring at him.
"What Mr.Grey? Not done being an ass to me yet?" I asked sarcastically with a smile to match. Jackass.
"Meet me in my office Lyla." He said firmly making me let out a sigh before turning around and making my way to his office.
He followed and once in his office I sat across from him leaning back in my chair with my arms folded over my chest glaring at him. He sat across from me looking my way before he just sighed and opened his laptop then turned it towards me. I eyed him weirdly to which he glanced at the back of the computer then back at me encouraging me to look at it. The look on his face gave nothing away.
I sighed sitting up and sitting a little closer to the edge of my seat looking at the screen. I couldn't make out what was on the screen before my eyes grew wide when I saw myself back in that dark basement.
"H-how did you...how did you get this?" I heard my voice crack looking at him. My eyes went back to the screen watching as the camera got closer to me. My eyes started to sting as I started to breathe heavily and I couldn't help but think back on the week that passed.
Was he disgusted by me?
'STOP! PLEASE! SOMEBODY HELP ME! GET OFF OF ME PLEASE! NO MORE!' I heard myself scream.
Tears streamed down my cheeks and I didn't know what to feel when the memories came back once again. He smashed something against my head making me pass out moments after.
'I tried so hard to be nice to you my beautiful Lyla, I'm never letting you go.' He said combing some hair away from my face. A sob slipped my lips when I saw him starting to undress us both.
"Turn it off!" I shouted starting to cry as I covered my face.
He recorded that sick bastard! And he had the nerve to save it! God I'm disgusted! I didn't even remember him recording me, that's how messed up I was. No matter how many fucking times I scrubbed my stupid skin I always felt him on me, his disgusting hands on my body, his lips, the way his eyes had that disgusting glinted when he would violate my body or see the fear he installed in me. I could never wash off the way it felt the first time he did it. I was bleeding and crying screaming at the top of my lungs until my voice was gone. He repeatedly fucking did it! And the fact that he had a daughter my age that disgusting pig! All the abuse he made me go through can never leave my fucking head and it's killing me!
I killed the last guy that abused me the same way he did and I honestly might just do it again.
"DO NOT TOUCH ME!" I shouted slapping his hand away from my shoulder as I got up out of the chair.
"Lyl—"
"Mr.Grey stop." I said firmly breathing heavily trying to calm down.
"Talk to me Lyla, you can't bare this burden alone."
"I've done it for 19 fucking years of my life I think I'll be just fine." I grabbed my bag and stormed off feeling my tears.
I can't breathe. After running towards my room and changing I went to the track field and ran not caring about the day passing by. When I stopped running it was evening time and I was panting heavily trying to catch my breath. I can't be human if I ran for that fucking long. I looked up and noticed Ethan walking up to me with a bottle of water with his plain face but worried eyes. I took a few steps towards him and hugged him tightly letting my tears streamed down freely.
"I-I'm tired Ethan." I sobbed out as he held me tightly letting me cry my soul out.
"I can't do it anymore, I just can't I can't Ethan I'm losing it."
"It's okay Lyla." He rubbed my back and I kept crying until I couldn't anymore.
"What's wrong?" He asked making my throat close up.
"I don't want to talk about it." I sniffed as I pulled back wiping my face.
"Lyla you're suffering, if you won't talk to me at least talk to someone. Please? The last thing I need is to lose someone like you to suicide." He said with a sigh.
"I'll talk to someone." I said to which he smiled.
"Good." I smiled then grabbed my phone texting the only person who knew more about me than anyone else in my life.
'Are you still around Mr.Grey?'
'I'm in my office.'
'Can you spare a minute?'
'Sure.'
"Im going to go and take your advice." I said making him smile.
"Good." He hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead making me smile.
"I promise to tell you everything when I clear my head up, okay?"
"Take your time Lyla, I'll always be here." I pulled back smiling and he gave me the water before I made my way to Mr.Greys office.
Time to let the demons out I guess.
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Aww🥺, I need me an Ethan.
Xoxo,
~Thunder~
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