Scarlett's POV
Ok, so I was wrong. There was still a tiny part of my heart that wasn't broken.
Don't worry though because, after Archer's speech, I am pretty sure there is just dust where my heart should be, that is how completely shattered I feel after listening to her. I mean honestly, how can she be strong enough to get up and say all that today in front of everyone? She is outstandingly strong, and while I normally admire that, today, it makes me just want to grab her and shake her. She is ten. She is allowed to be crying right now and telling everyone to go to hell. Instead, she is acting like an adult and seems to be doing everything she can to help others out.
I was a little annoyed when Tony, which just so happens to be L.C. Sheilds's first name only took me a week to find that out, insisted I come with the cast and sit at the back. I mean I understand where he is coming from but at the same time, it frustrated me to no end that he wanted her to endure today alone. She rode in the hearse alone. She walked to the cemetery alone. She stood alone. She did her speech alone. She was doing everything alone and I hate that. I hate that she thinks she is alone now.
There's been a few times this week that I wanted to tell her that we leave back for Atlanta next week. That as of yesterday I am her legal guardian, Tony had all the paperwork sorted so that we could leave first thing tomorrow morning. I figured she wouldn't want to stick around here and after her speech, I think I understand why. If she put together what I think she has I am guessing she knows Oscar didn't want her to live this life.
When Archer walked off into the cemetery I didn't even need to think as I followed her, grateful Tony had told me to stand near the end at the back. I am starting to think that man always has a master plan. I know she knows I am behind her, so I don't bother calling out to her as she walks through the rows of fallen soldiers. I pause when I watch her sit down on the sidewalk though, finally out of the graveyard, unsure if she wants any company right now or now. Although that thought disappears when she turns around with tears in her eyes.
Never, in what feels like a lifetime with her, have I seen her look this desperate, this fragile, this broken. The sight had me fighting my own tears as I moved to sit beside her as quickly as humanly possible. The moment I sat next to her, the tears started to fall. Her body shaking with sobs, that she tried to muffle with her fist, as she fell apart. I didn't know what to do. I mean what could I do? Nothing could ease the type of pain she is in. There is nothing I could say or do to make this all better. But surely I have to try because I can't stand watching her like this.
"Archer, baby, can I hug you?" I asked softly, not sure if she wanted to be touched right now, but also painfully aware of her breathing, which was becoming more and more laboured as she slipped into a pain attack. The second her little head nodded I scooped her up off of the path and pulled her into me. "Archer I know this is hard but I need you to breathe with me, you think you can do that?" I try and soothe her, her breath falling against my neck choppily, which just added to my worry. When she didn't reply but instead started to pant harder I knew I had to change tactics or she is going to pass out, that worry only increasing when she managed to choke out a panic-filled "ca-can't br-breath, Sc-Sc-Scarly" I have never heard her sound so scared in my life and it made my heart twinge painfully.
Pulling her out of my neck, which got a disgruntled groan from Archer, I held her head level to mine, searching her eyes desperately to see if she is still there. Thank God I managed to find her in there or this was going to be a lot harder. Smiling at her softly I cupped her cheeks, letting my thumbs rub on them softly "Archer, do you think you can blow on my nose baby?" I ask, hoping this will work because her breathing is not getting better and I am honestly terrified she is about to pass out. I can see the fear in her eyes as she shakes her head frantically, making me frown. "That's ok, we can do it together. Watch, Archer, just copy me baby" I try, blowing softly on her nose, which has it twitching slightly. Normally that would be adorable but given our current state, I couldn't exactly focus on that. I blew on her face another three times before asking her to try again. She managed to kinda pant, which had me hopeful.
It took close to twenty minutes but her breathing has now pretty much evened out, with only the occasional hitch in her breath as she hides in my chest, now sitting across me sideways while I cradle her in my arms like a little baby. Her hands clasping at the strap of my dress desperately, as if she is terrified I am going to disappear, which breaks my heart. Everyone she has ever loved has now disappeared of course she is holding me so tightly right now.
I thought she had finally drifted off to sleep, she definitely could use it. She may be highly trained, but not even that could stop me from noticing that she hasn't been sleeping. She is always up and gone by five am and we never get back to her room before eleven, where she spends over an hour tidying things that are already clean before laying in bed and pretending to sleep. Some nights she drifts off only to wake up from nightmares, while other nights she just lays awake all night. I tried talking to her about it but she hasn't exactly been in a talking mood. I think that the last time she properly slept was the flight over here after she cried herself to sleep in my arms.
However, she clearly isn't asleep as she starts to speak to me, her hand still holding onto me as she looks up at me with glassy eyes. "He asked you to take me in, didn't he? It's the only thing that makes sense. You are the only one who calls me Archer, his message doesn't make sense unless you are the one he wanted to look after me" she stated more than asked. Of course, she would work it out.
"I figured it out when I saw you guys by the starting line this morning. The last night I spent with Daddy he took me to get ice cream just us and we went on this mini hike so we could see the stars. As we were watching them he turned to me with a smile and said 'you know Wolf, I love you more than there are stars in the sky. But I want you to know that I love Archer, this version of you right here in Atlanta, the most. I love that you fit into my world, Wolf, but you deserve to find your own world to live in. You deserve to be as free as you feel here with Scarlett and the others. I am so happy you have found another family while I am away. So happy you found somewhere you belong. So I want you to have so much fun while I am gone, ok? And when I come back I think we can maybe talk about some different options than you always being on base.' I didn't really know what he meant at the time. I thought maybe he was going to hire a live-in nanny or something to watch me off base or something. But after what he said in that tape I understand" she breathed out, her eyes staying locked with mine as she spoke.
I could see the uncertainty in her eyes the fear. "Just because he asked you to take me in doesn't mean you have to. I don't want to be a burden or anything. You have your own life, I doubt you want to take in an illiterate orphan with a bucket full of trauma on top of that. It was wrong of him to ask you. I know you think you have to say yes because he is dead now, but don't let that guilt you into taking me. I will be fine with Tiger on the base. It's only for seven years and then I can enlist anyway" she explains, as if she has already in her head decided I wasn't going to take her, breaking my heart.
How could she possibly think I would turn her away?
"Archer, baby, he did ask yeah" I confirm, watching as her lip wavered slightly as she fought against crying again as if she was waiting for me to reject her. "He wrote me a letter and asked me to take you, explained everything from his perspective. But, baby, even if he hadn't asked me I would have found a way to make sure I get to stay in your life. You are not a burden and I don't ever want to hear you say anything close to that again. You are the centre of my universe Archer. I love you, do you understand, baby? I love you so much. I know I should have talked to you before, I mean I did try to, but I actually signed all the paperwork yesterday. You are kind of stuck with me now" I confess, trying to lighten the mood, although I could feel my own tears lining my eyes as I watched her.
My heart broke when she started crying again. Great. This is probably the hardest day in her life and I have just made it harder. Maybe I can sort something out so that she stays on base and I can visit her in between all my work, I mean if that's what she really wants I won't stop her, even if I don't think it's what's best.
When she shifted in my arms my tears started to fall too. I seriously thought she was about to get up and walk away, that I had driven her away by not talking to her about this. In all honesty, I was going to talk about this with her, I was just waiting till tomorrow before our flight, figuring today was going to be hard enough for her as it is. I should have known she would figure everything out, the child is too clever for her own good. It took everything in me not to sob as I felt her let go of me, figuring she was ready to let me go too.
Just when I thought she was getting up to leave she slams into my front, her whole body glueing itself to mine as she wrapped her arms around my neck, her head burying itself into my neck tightly as we fall back onto the grass with a thud. Not that I care. I'm just glad she is still here. We are both definitely crying at this point. My own tears coat my cheeks while Archers fall onto my shoulder, both our bodies shaking slightly as we just hold each other and cry. We both need the other more than words can explain right now. "I love you too Scarly" she somehow chokes out between her sobs, which just has me crying harder.
The tears started to dry up after a few minutes, yet neither of us made a move to leave, both still needing some time to just hold each other. I think we were kind of in our own little world at this point as Archer played with my hair and I drew little shapes on her back as I pretty much laid on the grass holding her. That was until a sickening bang rang out, followed by another and another. A sound I have heard way too much this week.
My body automatically went rigid as I help Archer even closer, a feeling of pure, undescribable, terror running through my body. There is no way I could ever mistake that noise again. Those were gunshots. My mind instantly went back to Archer being stuck in that bank at gunpoint as thoughts of that merged with the fact Archer is at a funeral for her family who all got killed, four of them being shot. Both thoughts started to merge and before long my brain was telling me it was Archer that just gotten shot by those bangs.
Why is my chest so heavy? Why is everything so blurry? Wait, why can't I feel Archer's face pressed up against my neck? I take it back, now I am feeling pure, undescribable, terror. I can't breathe. I can't see. All I can hear is the sound of my blood spinning around in my ears. Am I the one that got shot? Is Archer ok? Oh God Archer. Where is she? I need to be ok, I am all she has left. I can't leave her too. She is already at rock bottom I have to be here for her or who knows what will happen. Why is it getting harder to breathe? Am I dying?
What is that feeling on my face? Is that a breeze on my nose? It tickles. Wait, is someone talking to me? "Scraly... need... breath...blow....face....copy....you're...just..." the voice was choppy but I could make out some of what was being said as the breeze started to tickle my noise again. "You can do it, copy me" the voice pleaded. Hang on that isn't any voice it's Archer's. I somehow force myself to open my eyes despite how hard that feels right now and realise I am now leaning against a tree, Archer sitting on my lap as she holds my face in her hands, worry dancing in her eyes. "Copy my breathing Scarly, you can do it" she pleads again, blowing softly on my nose. If I wasn't currently choking on my own breath I would be sobbing at how cute this is as she comforts me just like I had earlier.
But instead, I focus on copying her breaths just like she told me to, a soft smile coming to my lips when she pulls one of my hands to rest on her chest while she exaggerates her breathing. It takes me a few minutes but eventually my breaths even out and my vision clears completely of tears. I just had a panic attack. Well, that's a first. If it felt that awful for me I hate to think about how horrible they feel for little Archer, especially since she has them more frequently.
As soon as I come back to my senses I am looking around in a daze, not understanding how we got to this tree but more importantly looking for the source of those gunshots. "It was just the gun salute, it was a three-volley salute. It is tradition, it means they have lowered all the caskets. They just fire blanks. It's ok. We are both safe, I promise" she explains, a look of understanding in her eyes as she plays with my fingers.
I just nod, still needing a second to fully catch my breath but glad to know we are ok. That she is safe. "Now I am supposed to drive to the National Memorial Arboretum in Staffordshire. They are honouring the squad there, they are all getting added to the memorial. Tiger is taking me, the squad's family is coming and so are some of the troops. Do you think um, maybe, um? Will you come with me, please?" She explained, her voice wavering towards the end, her eyes looking away from me as she stared at her hand in mine.
It broke my heart that she was so nervous just to ask for me to come with her. "Or course I will baby, you are stuck with me from now on, we went over this" I reassure her, moving my spare hand to get her to look at me again. "Where you go I go, ok?" I promise, watching as her eyes water before she nods, her head crashing into my chest as she clings to me again.
"Sorry. I don't mean to interrupt, I was just hoping to speak to Archer for a moment" a voice spoke, making me look up from the child in my arms, only to freeze when I realise who it is. Crap. I really don't know how I am supposed to react. So like the mature adult that I am, I nudge Archer, hoping she knows how to deal with this better than I do. The moment she looks up she is jumping to her feet dipping into a curtsy as she hangs her head slightly. "Your Highness" she mutters, still looking at her shoes. Meanwhile, I stay routed to my spot still freaking out slightly.
At least I was until Archer kicked me and I jumped to my feet, repeating what Archer just did. I have no idea what I am supposed to do but offending the heir to the British throne is not on my to-do list. "Please, there is no need for that. I just wanted to come over and offer my condolences myself. I heard from the guys that you hate sympathy, but I knew your father. We served for a little while together and he was a great man, a fantastic soldier. He spoke about you a lot, always bragging about you. You were only two when I knew him, but he couldn't stop saying how clever you were. I actually saw him last year, for a medal presentation and he told me all about your progress. When everyone speaks about Mowglii they all speak of a legendary soldier because he was, he gave the ultimate sacrifice for his country and for that we owe him a debt. But Oscar, Oscar was a proud father and everyone knew that. You were his world and I am so sorry you lost him" Prince William. Just let me say that again. Prince William spoke, giving Archer a gentle smile as he told her all this,
"He told me he knew you, I thought he was just trying to brag because I met Princess Catherine a few months ago when she came to the base. Thank you for coming today, I know you are a very busy man. I am sure Daddy and the whole team would be honoured to know you are here" she replies, her voice sounding even more English than normal, which is just adorable. "The honour is all mine. Cathrine mentioned meeting you, I was jealous she got to see you in action while you were training and I didn't. You are a bit of a legend yourself, Wolf. Although from what I heard you are leaving the base for Hollywood instead" he spoke, his voice casual which took me off guard. How am I witnessing a casual conversation between Archer and a Prince right now? "Apparently so. Daddy didn't want me to spend any more time on the base, he was so excited about the film. They all were. So I have to finish it for them" Archer shrugged, trying to play it off but I could hear the pain starting to creep back into her voice.
I watched as the Prince took in the sight before him before kneeling down so that he was level with Archer, a soft smile on his face. " I am sure they will all be watching your movie from above. I know Catherine and I will be watching it as soon as it comes out. I have to go now, but I am confident this won't be the last time I see you, Archer" he speaks softly, before holding his hand out and shaking Archer's. I watch in slight awe as he stands back up, dusting his trousers off before looking at me with a smile "take good care of her Miss Johansson, she is one of the good ones" he says, making me nod "she's one of the best" I mumbles, looking down at Archer as she moves to hug my leg as the Prince walks away.
"We should probably go now too, it's a bit of a drive to Staffordshire" she mumbles, before her hand reaching for mine as she clutches it tightly, leading us both towards the car.