The Second Dawn Bunker was unlike anything I could've ever imagined — the technology inside the bunker was astonishing with just a glance. I couldn't even begin to wonder about the automation lying within the walls, in the hundreds of rooms, or on the different levels. It was a remarkable feat of engineering, especially having been made over a hundred years ago and with everything supposedly operational. The mechanic part of me had taken over as I had stared in awe at the cellarage I'd be spending the next five years of my life.
Much like the Ark, it had these dull fluorescent lights shining in the room, and I'm sure this bunker shared many aspects with the Ark. I wouldn't really know because I never got to see the Ark — not in its full propulsions as it was in space. There were, more than likely, air scrubbers and a hydro farm, just like I knew there was on the Ark despite never having seen them. The bunker reminded me slightly of the place I used to call home; that was something I wanted to ignore, desiring to explore what this place had to offer, as in apparatuses and tech.
Before I could fully indulge in all the different kinds of machines this place had to offer, we had to deal with our people. Outside of the office we were in was a rotunda, the second room you come to when entering the bunker, and this was where we would decide the fate of Skaikru. Kane, Abby, Jaha, Bellamy, Clarke, Octavia, Indra, and I all stood around the table in the middle of the room, covered with blueprints of the place. Stoic expressions were shared across the table; the bliss of the fascinating bunker we were in had vacated my system.
"This facility won't run itself." Said Kane, inspecting the papers.
Abby nodded dolefully. "We'll need to prioritize doctors and engineers."
"What about Raven?" Bellamy asked from beside me with crossed arms.
It was only about ten minutes after we made it inside the bunker when we got a distress call from Raven, the mechanic panting she was alive. I felt horrible for not taking note of her lacking presence; with all the current events, my mind was struggling to keep up with everything and felt like it was going to explode. A chastise formed in my head with Clarke and Abby wondering how the two could just leave Raven behind, but I had to stifle my thoughts — we couldn't be at each other's throats. Not right now.
"Of course, we'll go for Raven." Kane looked to Bellamy, eyes casting down on me when I spoke.
"Good because I'd go with or without your permission." At my words, Bellamy's grip on my hand tightened, the pads of my fingers running over the blood-stained bandage along his wrist, something I would ask about when we were alone.
"You called this justice?" Jaha spitefully inquired, barely above a whisper, as he stood in front of the open doors leading to the rotunda, which was packed with Grounders, the remaining few coming in through the hatch as we spoke.
"I call this making this right," Octavia countered across the table from me, "thanks to my brother."
Her head slowly turned towards the older, befuddled man, his gaze then turning to the eldest Blake, my eyes narrowing in turmoil. "You let this happen."
"No, you did." I snapped, clenching my hand not interwoven with Bellamy's into a fist. "You took this bunker wrongfully. Bellamy did what was right."
Jaha's mouth was agape, bafflement painstakingly evident in his face while he looked at Kane. "How many of us have to die?"
"Your lucky it's not all of you." Indra seethed.
"Lucky?"
"We have a hundred spots." Kane apprised, the reoccurring number like a nail pressing into the back of my head. "The other clans have all... have all chosen their survivors. We have to do the same."
"A hundred." Jaha stated.
"Yeah, the same number of kids you sent to the ground to die." I reminded Jaha bitterly, his refusal of the situation getting on my last nerve.
"We have over four times that." Jaha ignored my jabs at him, but that wouldn't stop me from throwing more his way.
"A pain that all clans feel." Octavia told him, reminding him that Skaikru was the only clan that hadn't chosen our survivors.
A beat of quietness passed through the room before, once again, Jaha set his gaze on Bellamy, hurling the blame his way. "Is this what you wanted?"
"No one wanted this." Clarke quietly said to the man.
"Want's got nothing to do with this." Octavia burst, smacking the table with flat palms before veering towards Jaha. "Skaikru gets a hundred beds, same as everybody else. Bellamy and Jo get two of them. Whether you want her in one or two spots is up to you. And so is the rest." The youngest Blake glanced at her older brother and me, receiving a more than thankful nod from me, and before she walked through the entry, she stopped in the doorway, declaring, "The death wave comes in twenty-four hours. You've got twelve to decide."
And with her final proclamation, Octavia strode out of the room with Indra exiting quickly behind her. The remaining of us stared at Jaha, my gaze more accusing than the others, watching as he looked out past the open door.
The group continued to discuss which members of Skaikru were essential to the operation of this bunker, with Jaha staying abundantly quiet unless it was to denounce the decisions Octavia, Abby, and Bellamy made. Kane and Abby kept saying that we needed the people who had run the hydro farm and the air scrubbers on the Ark. Unfortunately — or fortunately, depending on how you look at it — due to all that Skaikru has been through upon reaching Earth, there weren't many options to choose from.
It was also discussed whether I would be taking two spots or one. On one hand, I was one person who only deserved one spot, but on the other, I would be bringing another human being into this bunker which could drastically change things with the projected rate of food if not accounted for. I hated hearing the four people confer about how many spots I should receive — it was just another thing added to the growing pile of problems. Though it had occurred to me to offer that I only take one place, not wanting to take away a spot for a whole other person, and share my food with the baby as they got older. I knew Bellamy would instantly shut down that idea, so I decided it was best not to offer the option. In the end, it was agreed upon that my name would be taking two spots in this bunker, snatching a spot from another member of Skaikru.
As time went on, the Grounders backed out of the rotunda, surely going to force Skaikru out of their bunks into the circular room. I despised knowing this was going to happen and being able to do nothing about it, knowing I, or even all of Skaikru, couldn't take on all eleven hundred Grounders inside this bunker. Once we had the details set, having chosen all the people considered essential personnel, the only thing left was to fill the remaining eighty spots.
My concept of time was already lost even with being in the bunker for only mere hours — I couldn't tell if it was day or night, my body only knowing that it was tired and sluggish, but I couldn't afford the luxury of rest right now.
As I had predicted, the Grounders were forcing our people into the rotunda with nothing that'd be considered gentleness. Having heard the commotion, the six of us moved from inside the office to the small balcony overlooking the middle section of the rotunda. We all stood in a line, watching helplessly as all four hundred of our people were forced inside this small space, the uproar rising louder the more people were crammed inside.
My hand hadn't let go of Bellamy's since we reunited on the ground, my grip holding more secure than ever around his hand, doing my best to constrain myself at the amount of tightness, considering Bellamy's injured wrists. I stood on my tip toes next to him, trying to scan over the sea of people in hopes of spotting my brother or Emori. Not having seen John in the last few weeks, my anxiousness to spot him was rapidly increasing.
When I finally spotted my brother rushing through one of the doors, my heart rate spiked as a sigh of relief escaped my lips. Frantically, I looked up to Bellamy, who gave me a nod as if to tell me it was okay to go. I didn't waste any time rushing down the metal pathway until I got to the bottom cement, shoving through anyone who was in my way of me getting to my brother.
Through a few relentless shouts, I finally made it to my brother, hearing the tail end of his and Emori's conversation, the latter fearfully telling John, "There's only room for a hundred Arkadians in this bunker."
"Yes, that's true." I stated quietly, letting out a pant of air as my brother hastily turned to me. Before I knew it, John wrapped his arms around my shoulders, squeezing them tightly. I returned the gesture just as hard, my chin resting on his shoulder, soaking in his presence I'd missed in the time he was gone. "But I'm not gonna let you or Emori die. You hear me?"
He withdrew from me, the relief that once filled his body dissipating as he said, "You can't promise that, Jo."
"I can." I expressed firmly, looking between my brother and Emori. "Nothing is happening to either of you. I promise."
"Your people won't allow a Grounder to take one of their spots." Emori's certain doubtful tone seemed as if she was used to being tossed aside, a revelation that had me internally frowning, but externally I kept my assured facade.
Because we were in the middle of the sea of people, I moved closer to the two, dropping my voice. "Then you take my spot. They're giving me two because of the baby."
John firmly shook his head. "Jo, you can't—"
"Shut up." I snarled at him, harsher than I intended, but I kept my gaze fixated on Emori. "When the baby gets here, I'll share my food rations with them — give it all to them — and you get your own. Emori, I will make sure you and John have a spot here, okay?"
"Okay." She nodded after a moment.
Suddenly a yell along the lines of 'close the door' had the three of us turning our heads to see Grounders walking past the doorway the people had just been forcefully shoved through. With the Grounders through the large green door, it was being pushed shut from the other side with a loud grating. Skaikru people began to scurry towards the door; John, Emori, and I stood there watching as they pounded uselessly on the door.
From across the room, I locked eyes with Bellamy, the two of us sharing a look, meaning we both knew nothing good would come out of the following events. Breaking my gaze from him, I looked back at Emori and John, the same worried looks on their face similar to the look Bellamy had. Only I knew more concern was running through the two before me because Bellamy and I were guaranteed a spot in this bunker while they were not. And I was going to do everything in my power to ensure Emori and my brother were not going to die.
"I'm gonna get you guys safe. You're gonna be fine."
❣︎
I had reluctantly left my brother and Emori to head into the office where Abby and Kane had disappeared, ready to argue that the two deserved a spot in this bunker. Abby was talking to Raven over the radio; hearing the girl's voice was comforting but not my main concern as I stood with Kane in a corner, bookshelves on either of the two walls, begging that we make room for John and Emori.
"Kane, come on. Please." I pleaded through a voice just higher than a whisper.
The older man sighed, running a hand down his face. "Joanna, I know this is hard, but—"
"He's my brother, Kane!" I lashed out, tears brimming my eyes, attempting to keep my voice at a low volume, but it wasn't proving easy. "Please. Give them a spot — give them mine and the baby's spot."
When I told Kane my idea of at least giving up my baby's spot and sharing the food, although both of us knew I would willingly give my child all the food, he shot it down, reminding me I had more to think about. It was a response I was getting all too tired of, knowing yes, I had the baby to think about — but this was my brother we were talking about.
"No." He snipped back at me uncharacteristically, his tone having me flinch back for a moment, shocked at his outburst. "You and this child are not dying. I will not let that happen."
A vociferous and hasty groan left my lips. I knew Kane was only trying to help, thinking I needed yet another person to protect me, and I appreciated his caring — I do. Kane has been the closest thing to a parental figure I've had in years, and maybe this was just a thing they would do, but be that as it may, it didn't irate me any less. Perhaps I would experience this sort of thing with my child, hopefully, minus the life-threatening situation; Abby had mentioned how I was already beginning to develop that Motherly instinct.
Kane's attention veered past my shoulder to where Abby was sitting at the main desk. Letting out a huff, I decided to stop arguing with him — for the time being, that was, because there was no way I would give up on this. Words spoken between the two women seemed to have caught Kane's focus as he walked past me.
"Cured?" He quizzed, leaning his hands down on the desk, receiving a dumbfounded look from Abby. "What's she talking about?"
I moved forward, taking place beside Kane as Abby spoke on the radio. "We can talk about that when you get here."
There wasn't another word from Raven on the other side, and before I could find myself between the abundant upcoming awkward conversation between Kane and Abby, the door opened. Bellamy, Clarke, and Jaha came through, and Bellamy swiftly found a place beside me, our hands finding each other immediately. Before I went in to try and convince Kane to give John and Emori places in this bunker, I had only muttered to the eldest Blake that I would tell him about it later.
Jaha closed the door behind him. "Our people are scared, Marcus. We need to tell them something."
"We just spoke with Raven. When she gets here, we'll have all our essential personnel." Said Kane.
"How many spots does that leave us with?" Clarke questioned.
Abby, who'd risen from her chair, answered. "Including the essential personnel and the places that we're holding for the children under sixteen, that leaves us with eighty."
"Eighty." Clarke rehearsed, the revelation drawing across the whole room.
"I can't believe we're talking about sending three hundred and sixty-four of our own people to their deaths." Jaha's bamboozlement of the circumstances evidently hadn't dwindled any.
"After the stunt you pulled, like Indra said, you're lucky Octavia's giving Skaikru any space." I stated harshly, my words to Kane about Octavia choosing differently flashed through my head.
"Look. I don't like it any more than you do." Kane contended.
"Then let's fight this."
Kane shook his head. "No. Any sort of resistance will cost us all our lives. Our best course of action is to hold a lottery for the remaining spots."
Jaha leaned forward, pressing his hands against the desk. "It's not going to work, Marcus."
"It was your idea." Countered Kane.
"That was for the chance to survive." Jaha said.
Abby's head snapped to him. "And how is this any different?"
"Until twenty minutes ago, our people believed they were safe. They let down their guard. They picked their bunks. They unpacked their bags. They imagined their futures. You try to take that from them now, and believe me, they will fight."
I stepped forward, ensuring not to lose grip on Bellamy's hand. "You're the one who gave the false hope. You're the one who told them they were safe. You're the one who lied to them. This is on you."
"No one's saying it's going to be easy, but we need to make the people listen to reason." Kane lifted his hands in a calming gesture.
For the first time since he came back in, Bellamy spoke. "Someone still needs to get Raven. I'd like to volunteer."
"And I'll join you." Clarke offered right after.
"No. Someone else can go with him." Abby immediately refused.
"It's okay." I spoke, noticing how Bellamy was purposefully avoiding Clarke's gaze. "I'll go with Bellamy." His eyes immediately darted down to me, the words already forming in his head about how he would deny that going with him was not a good idea, but before he got the chance to speak, I asserted, "What do I say to you every time? Don't. I'm doing this."
Clarke looked over at me. "Thank you, Jo. But this is something I have to do."
I let out a breath nodding at the blond. "All right. But I'm still coming."
Whether Bellamy was giving me an uncertain expression, I wouldn't know because I wasn't looking at him, already knowing what he was ramping up to say. Clarke pursed her lips before looking at her Mother. "Mom, look, Raven needs our help. I know the way to the island. I need to do this."
Without further objections from Abby, Kane stepped forward. "Well, you be safe. There'll be a place for the three of you when you get back."
"I'll meet you in the airlock." Said Abby before Clarke walked out of the room.
I moved to retrieve mine and Bellamy's backpacks from a corner of a room where they'd been resting since we arrived. Bellamy looked toward Abby, "We'll set our bags in a bunk and then meet you in the airlock."
Abby nodded, and that's when I remarked, "So if you could open like one door to let us in, that'd be great."
The older woman looked down at the desk, confusion washing over her features when she realized she didn't know what to do. That was when Jaha walked to the desk, pressing a button that lifted a monitor from inside the desk. He pushed a few more buttons on the small monitor before looking back to Bellamy and me, nodding once that we were good to go.
Bellamy was about to lead us out of the office before I tugged his hand backward. "Wait." I had my gaze set on Kane, dropping my hold on Bellamy's hand and my bag to envelop my arms around his stomach as he returned the gesture. "Please. Think about what I said, okay?"
When we pulled back, Kane gave me a sorrowful nod, and with one final look between him and Abby, Bellamy handed me my bag. We walked out of the office, being met with all five hundred of our people still worried and crammed in the rotunda. Clarke stood frozen, staring at all the people, this guilty look covering her features. Bellamy told the blond the same thing he told Abby, Clarke nodding once at us.
We started descending the ramp when a thought crossed my brain, stopping me and, therefore, Bellamy in our tracks. "John. I have to say goodbye."
"Hey, it's okay." Bellamy eased lightly. "You can say goodbye when we come back out, yeah?"
Scanning over the crowd, I saw my brother standing with Emori, none the wiser as to what was happening around him. A sigh left my mouth as I tore my gaze away from John and moved it up to Bellamy. "Yeah."
The two of us found our way to a door partially out of sight, perfect for concealing our anonymity. It was also the door Jaha had unlocked for us, the panel beside the door flashing green. Bellamy pulled open the door, a wince leaving my lips at the loudness of it, but luckily no one noticed or heard.
Once the door was closed, we walked through the dull cement hallways, mine and Bellamy's hands finding each other again — the way my hand fit wrapped around his was a perfect match. I smiled up at Bellamy, who returned the bright gesture, this being the first time we'd been left alone since he opened the bunker. It was nice to have this peace and quiet with ourselves and a still atmosphere that had almost become foreign to me.
When my thumb grazed over the white medical cloth surrounding Bellamy's wrists, a frown plagued my lips, only being able to imagine the gruesomeness underneath the cloth. "What happened?" I tentatively asked.
"They chained me to a pipe so I wouldn't open the door. I knew Abby would be willing to help, so I did this to my wrists to get her attention." Bellamy voiced firmly, the terrifying thoughts about what Bellamy endured circling my mind. "Your brother helped me escape."
"Oh, really?" I wondered.
"Yeah." Bellamy nodded. "He was the one to call for Abby. Once he found out you were on the wrong side of the door... he was willing to risk everything."
Bellamy's words made me realize that John risked his and Emori's place inside this bunker for me to be safe. Like Bellamy had said, he was willing to risk everything to ensure I was safe. The thought should have me smiling, but it dawned on me that I was enough to John for him to do that, and it petrified me — I wasn't worth all that.
Nonetheless, I put on a grin as I looked back up at Bellamy and joked, "Well, is he the reason you didn't get yourself killed?"
Bellamy chuckled softly, his normal unnerved facade crumbling the longer we walked the halls, something I was happy to see. We walked hand in hand until we reached the sleeping quarters, being met with a Trikru man guarding the hallway we desired to go down.
"Are yu Osleya's bro en Johana kom Skaikru?" (Are you the Champion's brother and Joanna kom Skaikru?) The Trikru man asked.
"Sha. Are yu going gon let yumi through?" (Yes. Are you going to let us through?) At my inquiry, the warrior immediately stepped to the side, gesturing down the hall, allowing Bellamy and me to pass. The latter of us two bumped shoulders with the Grounder as we tried to suppress laughs at how the man acted towards us — as if we were these oh-so-essential people.
When we were far enough down the hallway so the Grounder was out of earshot, we both let out laughs that couldn't be contained any longer. The two of us looked at each other, our chuckles dying down slightly as Bellamy remarked, "We must be pretty important."
Through a grin, I said, "Well, Octavia probably told them to let us through."
"Yeah." Bellamy responded, the two of us each letting out one more laugh before we stopped looking down the long vast hallway filled with doors that seemed to go on forever. "Which one should we pick?"
Bellamy's question had me looking up at him with narrowed eyes and a smirk. "I'm pretty sure we're sharing a room with other people either way, and all the rooms look the same. So what does it really matter?"
"We have first dibs." Bellamy pointed out. "We can take anyone we want."
I led Bellamy up to the first door I saw, it being the third room on the right-hand side. Pushing the door open, Bellamy and I were met with multiple bunk beds spread across the room, with various dressers and nightstands spread about the area. I let go of Bellamy's hand, walked to the furthest bunk in the back, sat down on it, and immediately felt the springs poking my butt, yet it was going to be our springy bed.
"This one's ours." I declared, patting either side of the bed with my hands before taking my back pack off my shoulders and leaning it against the wall. When I looked back up, I saw Bellamy leaning against the door frame with crossed arms, staring at me with amelioration which had me asking with a growing grin, "What?"
"Nothing." Bellamy meekly shook his head, wandering inside the room, leering around at all the various bland objects filling the inside. "I think there's going to be too many people in here to, you know..."
A chuckle escaped my throat as Bellamy took my hands and pulled me up from my sitting position on the bed; I purposefully put all my weight downwards just to make it harder for Bellamy. He pulled me up with a small groan leaving his mouth, prompting me to ask teasingly, "What? Am I too heavy for you, Blake?"
He knew I was messing around with him, but he still played into the banter. "Uh, can I plead the pregnancy weight?"
"Hey!" I lightly smacked his chest with my hand, a playfulness settling over us as Bellamy's hands found their way to my waste. He rocked side to side just as he did when he opened the bunker, and we reunited — this gesture comforted me, assuring that he was always there for me.
After a minute or two of us basking in the comfortable silence, Bellamy stopped our movements, sliding his hands from my waist to my stomach as he kneeled down, now eye level with my belly. My hands had moved from where they were previously placed on Bellamy's chest to his head, my fingers running through his curls. Bellamy's hands, however, were moving slowly as he glided across the fabric of my shirt. My baby bump wasn't showing yet, but Abby said it was only a matter of time until it would, and the baby would start kicking.
"Hey, Alex." Bellamy's voice was so soft and serene as his gentle movements continued, the tenderness in both his actions and words greatly on display. I tilted my head down, my hands slowing their motions as I listened carefully to Bellamy, relishing this moment. "It's your Dad. You don't know me very well, not as much as you know your Mom, at least, but I love you so much. I can't wait until you come into this world and I get to meet you. You know, you're not gonna be the first baby I helped raise. Your aunt Octavia is gonna love you, but it's nothing compared to how much your Mom and I love you."
Tears collected in my eyes, threatening to fall down my cheeks as I watched Bellamy lean his head forward, pressing his lips against my stomach. I knew Bellamy was going to be a great Father — this much I have figured out. But the more he did these kinds of things, the more I realized how good he was going to be — he was going to be the best Father I, or this baby could ask for. This baby, Alex, was going to have such a loving family with already having an uncle and aunt who cared so much about them, with even more people would care for them. It was comforting more so than I could ever describe knowing I'd always have help whenever it came to this little child growing in my stomach.
Bellamy stood to his full height, eyes meeting with mine as he reached his hand forward to cup my face, wiping a tear from my cheek. I smiled, blinking up at him with the utmost hope in my veins — as I had mentioned, the baby and Bellamy were my beacons of life.
"I love you." Bellamy murmured with fondness in his voice, receiving a bright smile from me.
Tipping forward, he pressed his lips to mine in a simmering kiss, irradiating with passion. Each movement Bellamy made proved precisely how much he cared for me, and it went the same both ways as my lips moved against his. His lips were hot, sporadic, but gentle in his actions, as always. I was so engulfed in the kiss our surroundings seemed to dissipate the longer we went. It felt like ages since my lips had contact with Bellamy's, so long that I felt as though I'd forgotten what it was like to kiss him. What it was like for him to hold me close, nonverbally telling me everything was going to work out like it was supposed to.
I halted in the kiss, my lips stopping against his as my hands moved from the back of his head to his chest. My eyes fluttered open, pulling away just barely as I said, "Before we go, we should unpack a little. Who knows what will be waiting for us when we get back."
Bellamy opened his eyes as I smiled at him, turning on my heels and grabbing Bellamy's bag next to mine. My back was to him as I began ransacking through his backpack, looking for a particular item I'd placed in here deliberately. A certain glimmer of happiness was radiating off my words as I started to ramble, unaware of what was happening around me.
"So as we were packing at Arkadia — I know we were only supposed to pack the necessities, ya da ya da, but I couldn't help but slip this into your bag. I started reading it, too, and I have to say it's pretty interesting. I'm only about like halfway through, but..." I continued, speaking any thoughts that came to mind on The Iliad, smiling to myself as I reminisced on what I had read up to a certain point. As I went on, I searched through Bellamy's bag, looking for the book of Mythology that I was eager to show I had sneaked inside his bag.
The sudden sound of a door closing was what abruptly cut me off from my incessant rambling, my head snapping to where I thought Bellamy was standing, but when there was utterly no sight of him, I slowly stood to my full height, eyes catching on the door. Shrinkingly, I walked to it, and when I heard a clicking sound of a lock, I ran up to the door, smashing into it.
Through the small glass window, I saw Bellamy on the other side, barely a foot from this door, a key in his hand that, indeed, had gone to this room's lock on his side. My breathing became erratic as I tried to open the door, pushing the handle up and down vigorously, gripping it undeniably forcefully, but it was no use. I stared at Bellamy through the reinforced glass; his head tilted down like he couldn't look at me after what he had just done. And if he had just done what I think, which was lock me inside this room, then I'd understand that he couldn't look at me because he felt goddamn guilty.
I began to pound relentlessly on the door with a flat palm, my hand turning a bright shade of red, peering at Bellamy as I felt tears once more fill my eyes, already beginning to fall down my face at a rapid pace. Internally, I was panicking — he didn't do what I think he did, right? Bellamy surely wasn't that insane.
"Bellamy. Bellamy, don't do this. Bellamy! Stop! I need to be there to get Raven." My voice was raw against my throat, my words coming out louder and louder, enunciating more as I continued to let out pleas for Bellamy to open this door. Fury was boiling up inside of me, and it was only a matter of time until I couldn't contain it, releasing all the pent-up rage building right now. "Bellamy, open this door! Please. Please, Bellamy!"
"I wish there was an easier way." He said meekly, still not looking up at me, his face obscured by his hickory curls as he spoke with a voice coming out more like a croak. "I'm doing this for your own protection."
My teeth gritted together in rage, the bones grinding against each other as I continued to feel the tears stream down my face in anguish, my voice becoming reminiscent of a wail. "Then look me in the eye and tell me this is what you what. Don't be a coward! Look me in the eyes and tell me that you are going to leave me here."
Bellamy didn't say anything as he just continued to look down towards the floor, the key mindlessly spinning in his hand. He couldn't look at me as vehement shouts left my mouth — he couldn't face what he had done, so he was choosing not to look at me. There was no way he could look up and see the pain he was causing me; he couldn't face it.
Fervently, fuming sobs found their way out of my mouth, scratching against my throat as tears continued down my face. I couldn't stop them no matter how hard I tried; the angered and wretched tears would not stop. My eyes were puffy, so much that they were now obscuring my vision, Bellamy turning into a blurry blob in front of me. I was so furious and enraged with him that I didn't want to look at him, but still, something inside me forced me to.
"Bellamy, let me out right now, o — or I swear on my Father's grave I'll never forgive until the day I die." My tone was filled with rage and vexation more potent than ever before, the emotions surging through my body like a live electric wire coursing through my veins, powering my fury — that and the betrayal I felt were unmatched. "You said you'd never leave me again. Bellamy, let me out!"
When he finally found the courage to tilt his head up to look at me, I saw the tears brimming his own eyes and his tear-stained cheeks. I saw the utterly pained look on his face as he met my eyes, his lower lips trembling — his tears kept cascading down his face. He looked just as bad, if not worse than I did, coming across as if he was tearing himself apart over this, something at this point in time I did not care about.
The last thing I heard before a piercing scream tore through my throat was Bellamy's gruff voice, wavering as he muttered, "My family, my responsibility."
❣︎
A/N
I'M SORRY
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME
I WAS REALLY SCARED TO POST THIS
IT GETS BETTER
MAYBE
LOVE YA
BYE CUZ I'M SCARED TO SEE Y'ALLS REACTIONS