Cole was watching the others train. He had been told to take a break after he passed out. It wasn't his fault, though. He knew he need help, but every time he brought himself to talk about it with somebody, he just sorta clammed up. No one suspected a thing. But now that he passed out during training, they all probably knew. He pulled a folded note out of his pocket. He unfolded it and started at it. It was a list of all the ninja, in order from who he trusted the most to the least. At the top of the list was Lloyd. They may have had a rough start, but now that Lloyd was happy, he wasn't so... distant. Cole was happy for Lloyd and Kai, but he was strangely jealousy of them, too. He wished he had that amount of happiness in his life. They also were so effortlessly thin. Everyone seemed that way. When Cole was stressed, it got worse. He felt so, so fat all the time! It just wasn't fair. He tried to prevent it, but after a while, he had to admit it. He had an eating disorder, and it wasn't going away. That's why he put himself at the bottom of the list. He couldn't trust himself to be happy for others, or to even take care of himself! He hoped no one trusted him. He would just let them down. He refolded the note, and put it away. Staring at the wall, he tried to figure out who to talk to. It would probably be Lloyd or Misako. Misako was in charge of taking care of people and injuries. Eating disorders were technically injuries, right? He sighed.
"Something wrong?" He jumped. Somehow Sensei Wu had sat down next to him without him noticing.
"N-nothing. Nothings wrong." Cole stammered. Sensei Wu sighed and stood up.
"If you need to talk, you know where to find me." Cole nodded. Sensei turned and went to his room. Training was about to end, so he made sure the note wasn't visible. It was Lloyd's turn to put away the equipment. Everyone else dispersed. Lloyd walked past Cole, his eyes unfocused.
"Lloyd. Can I talk to you?" Lloyd jumped. His eyes darted around until he spotted Cole. Lloyd had been rather jumpy lately. Lloyd sighed on relief.
"It's just you. Are you okay? You look really pale." Cole dropped his eyes.
"I'm fi-" Cole caught himself. "I just need to talk." Lloyd nodded. Cole stood and motioned for Lloyd to follow him into his room. When Lloyd came in, Cole shut the door and sat down on his bed. Lloyd sat next to him.
"What did you need to talk about?" Lloyd inquired. Cole was about to tell him when there was a knock on the door.
"You can come in." Cole called, silently relieved. Sensei walked in.
"Cole, you need some sleep. Loyd come with me we need to talk." Cole panicked. He couldn't let this chance go!
"Oh, uh, Sensei? Would it be okay if Lloyd stayed? In cause I have a nightmare or something?" Sensei watched Cole thoughtfully.
"I suppose that would be alright." He turned to Lloyd. "Would you like me to tell Kai where you will be if he needs you?" Lloyd cleared his throat.
"Yeah, that would be alright." Sensei nodded. He gave Cole one last look before he left. A couple of minutes passed in silence before Kai walked in. Lloyd and Kai struck up a conversation. Cole wasn't sure how long it was until he fell asleep. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep. When he woke up, he saw the other ninjas in their bunks. When he looked closer, he saw that Lloyd and Kai fell asleep together in Kai's bed, which was the closes one to him, besides Lloyd's, which was above him. They probably slept there so if he woke up, he could easily get to them. Cole was overwhelmed with gratitude. He quietly cried himself back to sleep.
He woke up to Lloyd gently shaking him.
"Cole? Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep."
I'm such an idiot! Cole scolded himself. He had been dreaming about the same thing for weeks. It started off by bring back memories of being a ghost. He hated when he was a ghost. The others had seen him crying, something he tried to avoid. Then it showed him everyone else, and his brain focused on the things they had that didn't. Finally, it reminded him he was a failure, and Sensei looking at him with disappointment.
"Cole? Are you ignoring me?" Lloyd sounded so hurt that Cole had to respond.
"I'm not ignoring you. I'm just... tired." Lloyd didn't look convinced.
Later that day, all the ninja went down to the village. Cole stayed behind. Lloyd did too. Lloyd was trying to get cole to talk to him. He looked so concerned.
"I'm FINE! You don't need to pretend that you care!" Cole exploded. Lloyd was shocked.
"But I do care! I want you to be happy and healthy! I hate seeing you like this! You haven't smiled a real smile in almost two weeks! Why won't you tell me what's wrong?!" Lloyd's voice broke off. "Why won't you talk yo me?" Cole stared at him. He hadn't known Lloyd felt that way. His face went red.
"I'm sorry. Dont take it personally. I just have.... some problems." Lloyd sat down next to him.
"Talk to me." He didn't sound upset. He seemed.. calm. Collected. Comforting. Cole took a deep breath.
"I have an eating disorder." Cole said quietly. Lloyd looked puzzled.
"How long have you had it?" Cole thought for a moment.
"About a year." Lloyd closed his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lloyd had an odd look on his face.
"I don't know. I tried, but....." Cole trailed off.
"Is that what you tried to tell me last night?" Cole nodded. Lloyd moved closer to Cole and hugged him.
"We will get through this together. I promise." Cole started crying. Misako found them there, like that, after a couple of minutes.
"Wha-what's going on?" She asked.
"Mom, Cole has something to tell you."