I had just touched down in North Carolina for the start of the Concacaf Cup. Technically it wasn't my first time back since my injury but that still didn't settle my nerves in the slightest.
"The Queen returns! Everyone watch out because that cup is ours now!" Someone yelled, making me chuckle.
"Sup, Pinoe?" The older forward pulled me into a tight hug.
"I've missed you kid." She tightened the hug once more. "I'm glad you're back on the field with us."
"Me too." I mumbled into her shoulder.
"Queenie!" I raised my head from Pinoes shoulder and saw an eager looking Allie Long and Alex Morgan running our way. Before I could even comprehend what happened I was engulfed in a hug by both the midfielder and the forward.
"Rude!" I heard Pinoe yell when she got pushed out of the way.
"Shut up Pinoe, you had your time with the kid. Now it's our turn!" Allie shot back to a whining Pinoe. I laughed at my teammates' antiques and after a while I removed myself from their hug so I could meet up with the other players and staff members that had already arrived.
"Sofie! Long time no see." I smirked at the older physiotherapist.
"Keep it that way Queen. I love you but I don't want to see you in my room for anything but a massage after a game." I laughed at the therapist while doing our handshake.
"I keep that in mind." I chuckled.
"Yeah, do that. Ooh and thank me later."
"Why?" I was confused. "What for?
"You'll see." And just like that she walked away towards the coaching staff.
"Allright, listen up everybody. Don't worry I'll keep this short. Welcome to October camp with the Concacaf Cup. In less than a year we will be competing in the most important soccer event in the world. See this Concacaf tournament as a good preparation for that said event. So work hard, do your best but don't forget to enjoy yourself until the countdown for the world cup really starts." Jill spoke to us.
"So does that mean that we're allowed to have even more fun than in this camp?" I whispered to Kelley, who was standing next to me.
"That can be arranged." The defender smirked at me, sticking her fist out for me to side fist bump it.
"Allright that leaves us with the team meeting that will be held later tonight at 6pm. Don't be late." Jill said sternly while looking at some of the players. "And obviously the room assignments. When your name is called you can go."
Jill was handed a sheet with no doubtfully the room assignments and started listing the names of each room. I was not nervous about it because to me it didn't really matter who I was rooming with. I got along with everyone on the team.
"Sonnet and Lindsay." Jill said.
"YES!" Both girls screamed and did a little handshake.
"Eleanor and Kelley." Jill said which surprised me. Me and Kelley were rarely allowed to room together for obvious reasons and those obvious reasons being were way too hard to handle when together.
Jill soon realized what she just had said. "Wait? What? No. Who made the room assignments? Those two should not room together!"
"Ooh come on coach. We promise to behave." I tried my best puppy eyes which I knew she couldn't resist.
"Yeah, what Queenie said. I promise we will behave." Kelley helped me out but I furrowed my eyebrows together at her words.
"We? You mean you right? I mean let's be honest here. I'm the kid, the baby but most of the time I'm keeping you in che- oof!!" Before I could finish my sentence I got hit in the stomach by Kelley telling me to shut up.
"Not. Helping." She mumbled to me.
Jill kept looking at us, trying to decide whether this would be a good idea or not. Dawn was the first one to break the tension that was building.
"Let's give them a chance, Jill. Who knows, maybe they balance each other out." Dawn told Jill, who seems to agree with the English woman.
"Okay, fine but you got one chance. No more than that."
"Yup" "Okay." We both said at the same time while taking our suitcases.
"Thanks coach. Bye coach." I said hurrying to the elevator before she would change her mind.
After settling in in what will be our home for the next 2 weeks, I found myself laying on my bed with Sonnet right next to me, Kelley on her bed while Lindsey was sitting on the floor for God knows what reason. Sonnet and I were looking at funny videos on my phone while Kelley and Lindsay were watching some TV.
We were dying of laughter when suddenly I received a text from Mason.
"Who's Mason?"
"My boyfriend." I simply stated.
"YOUR WHAT NOW?!" Kelley jumped up from her bed, almost falling off it in the process. Both Emily and Lindsay had a shocked expression on their faces.
"My boyfriend." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Yeah yeah, I heard that but when did that happen?!" Kelley said clearly freaked out.
"Since yesterday."
"When were you gonna tell us?" Lindsay asked this time but before I could respond it was Emily who interrupted me.
"What about the hot Spanish midfielder?!"
"SONNET!" We all yelled at her. I just glared at the defender for bringing up Alexia again.
"Not the point! The point is that you're not dating anyone until I approve of that person!" Kelley said seriously.
"Ooh my God! Are you serious? You can't be serious right?"
"Ooh yes I am."
"I agree, besides I'm still rooting for you and the hot Spanish midfielder." Emily said with a pout on her face like a little kid.
"Really Sonnet?" I glared at her. She just shrugged her shoulders. "Lindsay, help me out here. This is getting ridiculous."
"Nope, sorry. You're on your own kid. Besides, who is this Mason guy anyway?"
"He's a Chelsea player. Well technically because now he's on loan in Derby."
"And Leah's okay with this? Or the Dutchie? What's her name?" Kelley asks.
"Yes, she is. Can we just drop it? Please?" I desperately pleaded with my 3 teammates.
"Nope, Kelley isn't one of your old Stanford mates an FBI agent now?" Sonnet looks at Kelley, who looks like she just has a game winning plan.
"Yes! Great thinking Sonnet! I'm gonna call her right now!" She grabbed her phone and started looking for the agent's number.
"Oh God!" I groaned. "I'm done." I got up and was about to walk out when Lindsay stopped me.
"Hey come on. We don't mean it like that. You have to understand where we're coming from. You're like our little sister and after everything that happened you can't blame us for being overprotective."
"Yeah, whatever. Doesn't mean I have to like it." I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and left.
I was aimlessly walking around the hotel, trying to find a quiet place to calm down when my phone went off. Without looking at the caller ID, I picked up.
"What?" I snapped at the person who was on the underside of the line.
"Well first of all this is a FaceTime call. The way that works is you hold the phone at arm's length so the other person, me in this case can see your beautiful face and second, hello to you too." You could hear the smirk in the Spanish midfielders voice.
With a blush on your face, you take your phone away from your ear and look at the screen for the first time.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."
"Don't worry about it. What's wrong?" Alexia asked softly, urging me to talk to her but at the same time not pushing me.
I sighed, trying to calm down but each breath I took, didn't seem to reach my lungs. I couldn't focus and overall felt trapped. Alexia must have noticed because she was trying to get my attention to focus on her again.
"Hey, hey. Look at me. Look at me." When I did, she continued. "Tell me 4 things you see." She asks me with the softest yet demanding voice.
I tried to look around and focus on my surroundings but it was not easy. "I see uhm, I see a carpet, a vase with some flowers. Uhm I see, uhm." I tried to focus my vision on my surroundings once more.
"2 more. Take your time. Look around." Her voice was soothing.
"I see an evacuation plan and uhm a chair."
"Good. Now tell me 3 things you hear."
I closed my eyes this time, helping my brain to block everything out and focused on the task Alexia gave me. "I hear my teammates somewhere, your breathing and I think I hear your dog." I breathed out hearing her chuckle.
"Yeah, that was indeed my dog." I opened my eyes again to look at her. She had a smile on her face and was looking at me with the softest eyes I have ever seen. "Tell me 2 things you feel." I closed my eyes again.
My mind was getting clearer and clearer with each second that passed. It wasn't that hard to focus anymore. My breathing was finally slowing down.
"I feel my t-shirt and I feel the ground beneath my feet."
"Good, what do you taste?"
"Blood from biting my lip too hard." I took one final deep breath and opened my eyes again. For the first time since I left my room I could feel the oxygen entering my body. I looked back at my phone in shock.
Over the course of several months, well specifically since Jacob, I suffered a lot of panic attacks. There's not a lot I can do about it but to ride them out and hope for the best but this time it was different. Without any trouble Alexia was able to get me out of my head. This had never happened before. Okay, in my defense no one has ever witnessed one of my attacks before either but still.
"How did you do that?" I asked her in disbelief.
"Do what?" She looked at my not really understanding what I was talking about.
"How did you stop my panic attack? You're not even here in person? I was never able to recover this quickly before."
"You've had attacks before?!" It was not hard to spot the worry on her face.
"Well, yeah. I had always had them but they've become significantly worse since Jacob."
"What does Leah or your national teammates say?" This was my cue to focus on my shoes. They suddenly became more interesting than the girl on my screen.
"You have told them, right?" I looked back at the phone and saw her looking at me expectantly.
"Uhm, no." I mumbled out.
"Eleanore!"
"It's fine Ale. I've been handling them for a while. I got it." I tried to reassure the midfielder but that didn't seem to work. "Please drop it."
"Fine, but if it happens again. You call me. You hear me?"
"Yes mother." With this she just glared at me.
"What had you worked up in the first place anyway?"
"Kelley, Sonnet and Lindsay were pestering me about the fact that I have a boyfriend." I sighed out clearly missing the look on Ale's face.
"Oh, you have a boyfriend."
"Oh God, not you too."
"What? No, no, no, no. I'm happy for you. I didn't mean it like that. Just try to see it from their point of view too. They just want what's best for you even though they are not showing it the right way."
"Yeah, I know. It's just annoying." I sighed out.
"Ha, yeah I get that." She chuckled out.
Alexia and I talked for a while more when some called out my name. I quickly thanked Alexia and said my goodbyes before hanging up my phone.
"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. What are you doing here on the wrong floor?" Rose said while walking over to me helping me up from my spot on the ground.
"Nothing, I just needed a minute." I softly smiled at her.
"Wow, one hour with Sonny and O'Hara and you're already done." She burst out laughing.
"No no, don't worry. There are a handful but I just needed a minute alone to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm back."
"And I for one am glad you're back. Come on, we need to go. The team meeting is about to start." She grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the elevator and the meeting room where the meeting will take place.