No matter how serious life gets, you'll always have your Best Friend to get stupid with.
Chapter 23 : Back On Track
I was tired and worn out the next day when the sun rays began poking my eyes without any mercy. The few hours of sleep that I had gotten had exhausted me even more. It was as if someone had sucked out the little energy I possessed the previous day.
Pushing my drained body, I got off the bed to go shower. I grabbed the first thing I saw and went inside for a relaxing shower. The events of yesterday created a hurricane inside my mind as I tried to rinse out all these dreadful thoughts.
The one image that was scratching the back of my mind like a nail on the chalk board, was Aaron's distraught face when I had shouted at him. Never in my life I had ever yelled at him this bad.
But what could I even do?
I was terribly hurt too. Weren't best friends supposed to be honest with each other?
Shaking my head to kick out these thoughts, I let the warm water relax me. After a long shower, I got out and dressed in a baggy, old tshirt and pants. But before I could go back to sulking on my bed, something caught my eye.
I opened my closet and clutched the shiny blue material hanging loosely from one of the shelves. I pulled it out from the mess of clothes and stared.
It was a dress.
How long had it been since I wore anything above my knees?
Hell, I hadn't even worn proper shorts since years.
I touched the soft blue material that flowed into a beautiful skirt and was lined with white and navy beads on the waist. The upper half of the dress was made of a shiny white material that could out the twinkling of stars to shame.
I ran my hands up and down the piece of clothing. It wasn't that I didn't like the idea of wearing dresses. Infact, almost every girl does like to wear a dress once in a while. Every girl wants to look good for something or the other, at least once.
I had bought so many dresses over the years, with the idea of wearing them. But every single time I tried to dress up, the haunting paranoia would knock off the thought of wearing it from my mind.
The thought equally annoyed me as it scared me. The dreadful 'what if's' didn't leave my mind.
I carried the dress in front of my dressing table and stood with it in front of the mirror. I put the dress against my body and looked in the mirror. The dress fell till my mid-thigh.
The longing to wear the dress soon changed into anger. Anger towards Shelly, her group of minions and all those people who've taken pleasure by bullying people. Especially in Gradient High.
Being a nerd was never a bad thing. Infact, people who chose to be nerds are the people I adore. I was never a hard core study addict. Though I did wish I could sometimes be one. But I also wanted to enjoy life without being judged.
The Citrus Group has destroyed the school life of many, including me. And this was the last year where in we could live a somewhat protected life. And the popular group was taking it away from us.
But they weren't the only ones I was mad at. I was mad at myself for letting them do it. What the hell was I even doing with my life? Was I going to be a scaredy cat my whole life?
Hell, I was pushing away the only people in my life that had tried to help me. And for whom? Those selfish snobs? I was giving them the permission of killing my self esteem. I was the one letting them be satisfied with what they were doing with me.
My stomach let out a whining whale sound, indicating that it needed to be fed. Keeping my thoughts aside for some time, I kept the dress on my bed and jogged down the stairs.
To my surprise, I found Agent Tom and Daddy Bear sitting there, laughing with mom and dad.
I slowed down as I walked towards the room where they all were. I observed that they were celebrating something.
But what?
Mom was the first one to notice me. Her eyes that had humour before, turned soft as she asked me a silent question.
She was asking if I was okay. I gave her a slight nod and a weak smile. She gave me a loving smile in return.
That is when Agent Tom saw me standing there.
"Ali!!" She exclaimed in excitement.
I decided to keep my glum thoughts aside for some time. They were clearly happy about something and who was I to take that away?
"Hey Sarah. What's up?"
"Hey honey," dad acknowledged and I smiled in return.
"So, what's the excitement about?" I asked.
"It's just that we got really good jobs and we are back on track," Daddy Bear spoke.
I felt confused for a second before understanding dawned upon me. They were talking about their new jobs. I vaguely remember mom and dad telling me something about the company in which they worked in, shutting down and resulting in the loss of jobs for many.
"Oh, that's great. I'm happy for you guys," I said, meaning what I said. I really was glad for them.
"Thanks darling, but it's all because of Aaron, speaking of who, did you guys fight or something? He was not ready to come here at all," she said.
Guilt did come creeping up but that wasn't that what had me frozen.
"What did you say about Aaron getting you the job?"
"Oh, that. It's just that he had been going to some high class business parties for the past weekend and the one before. That is where he went with that squeaky voices girlfriend for his. Apparently her dad had organised them or something. Why?"
"I-uh, I gotta go." I said and shut the door before sliding down the wall, with my eyes wide like saucers and disbelief absorbing my mind.
Candy had been missing the movie nights to help his parents. He wanted ten to get the perfect job.
And what did I do?
I yelled at him, without letting him explain anything. I hurt him more by actually being the worst best friend in the history of best friends.
Ashamed would be an understatement of what I felt right now. Guilt came doubling and hit me ten times harder than before.
What had I done?
I had let go of the person, most important to me.
I didn't even realise that I was crying until I tasted salt in my mouth.
I had to call him and let him know that I was stupid and driven by my emotions.
How could I let go of the person who came in barging through the girls washroom when the school laughed at me.
I scrambled up the stairs and reached my room. I looked around for my phone but I couldn't catch a glimpse of it. I went to my bed and turned the sheets away when the little black device finally tumbled onto the bed.
I quickly grabbed it with shaking hands and tried to press the correct buttons. But it was hard to do because of my trembling hands.
When I finally got the digits right, I held onto the phone tightly, afraid that my shaking hands would drop it if I didn't.
The phone kept on ringing but he didn't pick it up. I tried again. It kept in ringing but no one picked it up.
By the fifth time, I gave up. I wanted to slap myself for being so stupid. So, so stupid.
I couldn't afford to lose him. Not now, not ever.
I was going to try calling him again when the doorbell rang. A spark of hope ignited inside me as I raced down to open the door. I really wanted it to be Candy. I needed it to be him.
It took me two minutes to reach the door. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door slowly.
It wasn't him.
Disappointment came rushing through me but settled a little when I spotted a familiar face.
"Hey," Sam spoke, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Hey," I said, shutting the door behind me and stepping outside.
She began to say something when I interrupted her.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out.
He eyes widened as she looked at me, before returning to their normal size.
"What for?"
"For pushing you away and for being a stuck up female dog," I told her.
She chuckled a bit. "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you into participating at all. It was your choice. And besides, I'm not the one who deserves an apology right now."
I looked at her. My eyes were barely capable of producing any more tears but one did manage to leak down.
"I know. I've tried calling him but he won't pick up," I said, my voice filled with regret.
"Well, he looked pretty hurt when I saw him an hour ago," she said, sitting down on the stairs.
Something snapped within me. And what surprised me was the fact that it wasn't because Sam said he was hurt.
"You met him an hour ago?" I asked, my voice sounding bitter.
Sam looked taken aback with the tone of my voice and so was I.
"I, yeah. I ran into him in the park," she said a bit uncertainly.
I prevented myself from asking what she was doing in the park at the same time as him. Instead I just nodded and averted my eyes.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I was baffled at the bitterness of my thoughts. A feeling that I couldn't describe, was creeping up my nerves as I sat there with my feet dangling in mid-air.
There was a soft breeze, making the small flicks of hair fall into my eyes.
After a few moments of useless staring into space, I broke the ice.
"So, what do you think I should do?"
She turned to me, a small smile on her face. "I won't say anything specific, but I'd say that you should prove to him that nothing matters to you more than your friendship."
Her words left me a bit bewildered.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked as she began to get up.
"I've gotta go, now but that's something for you to figure out yourself."
With that, she retraced her steps and vanished.
I got up and moved towards the door. I went inside the house, with my mind revolving around her words.
What could I do to prove that he really meant a lot to me?
It was when I entered the room that something came to my mind. It was something extremely difficult and was going to take every ounce of my will power to do it.
But it was the only thing I could think of. The only thing that would matter.
And maybe, it would change more that what I aimed for.
And I might be able to get my life back on track.
******
Please excuse the errors. I'm really sorry but as I told you guys before, it's getting really difficult for me to update.
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