27 Weeks Along
-Poppy's POV-
I hold my hand up to the large wooden door, pounding my hand against it for the fifth time.
"I know you're in there you wanker! Open the bloody door!" I shout.
My fist pounds against the door once more before it's abruptly thrown open. I resist the overwhelming urge to just pop the bugger in the jaw, instead pushing past him and into the flat.
"Why you here Poppy? Already told you on the phone..."
"Don't care what the shite you told me on the bloody phone!" I cut him off, "I won't just sit there while my best mate, your wife by the way you stupid brute.."
"Fuck Poppy..." Harry shakes his head at me, raising his voice. "Don't have to be calling me names. You think this is easy on me?"
"Doesn't seem like you're having a rough go of it, models leaving your hotel room in the middle of the night and all!" I yell, literally steaming.
"Av saw that?" Harry chokes, his eyes widening.
"No, she didn't bloody well see it! I had enough common sense to keep her away from the telly after I saw those lovely pictures on the news." I spit. "But she'll find out soon enough, and she'll be gutted."
"I didn't cheat on her. You know I wouldn't do that!"
"So why exactly was the long legged prat coming out of your hotel room at 2 in the morning?" I huff, crossing my arms over my chest.
"She was in my room.. when I got back from going out with the lads, she was sitting on my fucking bed! Heard I wasn't with Ava anymore and got it into her head that meant we would give it another go." Harry explains, pulling at his hair. "Don't fucking know why, we went on one bloody date. Ten minutes in and I wanted to sneak out the window in the loo. She's horrid Poppy. I didn't do shite with her except have security escort her out."
I narrow my eyes, trying to read Harry's face. He looks scared. But not in the 'I got caught' way.
"You did NOTHING with her?" I question.
"No." He shakes his head. "I'm having a baby with the love of my life. You really think I have any desire to be with anyone else?"
"You shouldn't."
"I don't."
"Fine."
"Thank god." Harry sighs, his whole body relaxing. "Now are we done? I just got in from a fifteen hour flight. I'm completely knackered."
"Well at least there's a reason you look like you've been run over by a bloody car." I glance over him.
I can't help the small smile that turns up my lips as I glance over him. He looks absolutely wretched, and I know it's not just from a long flight. The fact Ava's not the only one this situation is wearing on brings me a fair bit of satisfaction. If I'd found him looking his normal god-like self, I would of beat the piss out of him just on principle.
"Always so full of compliments." He rolls his eyes at me, walking over to the door and opening it. "Lovely seeing you."
"Oh no!" I promptly push the door shut, "I'm not done. Not nearly."
Harry groans, rubbing his tired eyes. "What else?"
"Ava."
"What about her? I just talked to her before the plane took off. Told her I'd ring her in the morning. She alright?" A look of concern washes over his face.
"Is she physically alright? Yes. But other then that she's a proper mess."
"What? She seemed fine on the phone. Told me she was."
"Course she did." I practically snort at how oblivious he is. "It's Ava, she's an expert at keeping her feelings hidden. You know that better then anyone."
"But... Never-mind." He shakes his head. "I'm calling her."
He pulls out a small cellphone out of his back pocket, the one I know he is keeping a secret from the bloody wankers and bastards on his management team. The same ones Ava convinced me to not physically assault. The same ones I paid a group of primary school lads to take care of for me. Amazing what a group of ten year-olds will do for fifty quid.
"You arse." I snatch the phone out of Harry's hand. "She's not going to tell you she's miserable. God forbid she puts any more pressure on her little pop-star."
"Be nice." Harry holds his hand out for his phone. "If she's upset, I'm going to call her."
"No. She needs to see you." I finally bring up the main reason I showed up on his doorstep. "This week, while you're in London."
"Poppy..." Harry sighs, running his hand through his long hair. "I can't. You know we can't do that."
"You can and you will. Sneak out if you have to."
"You know I can't sneak out anywhere." He scoffs. "We're seen together and this whole fucking thing is blown."
"She needs you right now."
"She has me. Always."
"Not the same and you know it. "
"It's the best I can do." Harry shrugs, the pain evident on his face. "I want to see her... course I do. More then anything. But I can't. Paps or fans or even fucking management find out we met, they'll know something is up. They won't leave her alone. Can't have anything else happening to her... to the baby. Love her. So much. But can't have anything else happening cause of who I am."
"She cries herself to sleep." I say quietly, breaking my promise to Ava that I wouldn't tell Harry that. "Every night when you lot get off the phone, she cries herself to sleep."
"Don't... don't tell me that." He shakes his head, sitting down on the stairs next to us and dropping his head in his hands. "I can't hear that."
"I know you don't want to..." I lean against the wall in front of him. "But I can't watch my best mate go through that and not try to do something to help. You are the only thing that can help. She needs to see you. Even if just for a few minutes."
"I can't... You know I can't Poppy."
"You won't even try?"
"Try how?" Harry looks up at me, his face hopeless. "I can't even leave this fucking flat without being followed. One person sees me meeting with her... I won't do it."
"Harry..."
"No." He cuts me off. "Can't believe you're even asking me this. We almost lost the baby Poppy. The doctor said we were lucky. I won't take that chance. I know this is hard as hell for her. It fucking kills me I can't be there with her through this. I feel like a part of me is missing.. like I'm just empty.... But I won't do it. I won't risk losing my baby, Ava losing another child.. because of me. I won't do it. I won't... I won't do it."
I look away from him when I notice his eyes are red. I hold in my own tears, wishing more then anything that I could make this all go away. For one day, make the world forget he is Harry Styles. For one day, letting him simply be Harry. The man whose wife needs him.
It's more then just crying at night. It's so much more.
I can't even begin to replace what he provides for her. I can't make her laugh when she's upset, I can't calm her when she cries, I can't comfort her from her nightmares. I can't get her to talk to me, to really talk to me.
She is dealing with so much already. She needs him with her.
She blames everything on pregnancy hormone's, but I know she doesn't fully believe that herself. I know they contribute to it, but they aren't the reason for it.
Her past is.
When she was pregnant with Maddie she was afraid to even tell Scott about it. And when she finally did, he pulled completely away from her. Left her alone.
She has me, but I know she still feels it. She talks to Harry everyday, but I know she still feels it. Cause she won't talk to me about how she really feels, and she won't open up to Harry either. Not over the phone, while she's worried she's just giving him something else to worry about. So in all the aspects that really matter, she is alone. Dealing with her worries, frustrations, sadness.. all on her own. Just like she was before.
"If...." Harry's voice comes out a bit hoarse as he looks up at me. "If I write her a letter would you give it to her? I know it's... it's not the same of course. But maybe it would help? She could read it anytime she's upset. Maybe it would remind her how much I love her.. That silly?"
"No." I shake my head, for the first time realizing how much he truly loves her. "It's not silly at all."
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I would like to dedicate th