- I follow you, dark doom honey, I follow you -
Wind is hitting the thick polished glass mercilessly, dust dancing in a ray of sunshine above my eyes as students in uniform pass by, a disarray of blue and grey, polished black shoes hitting the squeaky tiles.
"How do you know Jimin?"
Crystal and Paris had dragged me in a corner as soon as the third period bell had rung. The both of them now stand before me with their arms crossed and serious expressions drawn on their faces, indicating I'm definitely in some kind of trouble.
The atmosphere is bleak and icy, the winter sun bathing little patches of the hallway into a dull grey light. My hands are sweaty and I run them down my skirt, the plaid material ruffling gently against my thighs.
"Look," I say, "It's not like Jimin and I are friends or anything..."
I wouldn't qualify him as a friend, yet I did get imprisoned in a closet while his brother was having sex behind the door... I guess this makes me a decently close acquaintance.
"Why was he talking to you then? It looked important! Do you know how he got a black eye?" Crystal asks, getting impatient.
It's lunchtime and everyone around us is walking to the refectory, not paying the least attention to the three of us, but I still put a straight finger against my lips, indicating they should make sure no one is able to eavesdrop on us.
"I - I don't think I.... I'm not supposed to say anything," I whisper.
Paris narrows her eyes.
"Since when do you keep secrets from us?"
"I'm not keeping secrets," I defend, which I now notice sounds infinitely more suspicious.
"Oh god, did his dad hit him?" Crystal asks, her eyes widening in concern yet her mouth stretches into an excited grin, knowing this is the kind of worthwhile information that could boost her popularity if gossiped about.
"No!" I whisper loudly, then I take both of my friend's shoulders in my grip, bringing them closer to me, "This is why I'm not supposed to say anything. I don't want to start any rumours. This problem doesn't concern me or anybody other than Jimin and his family, so blabbering about it to my friends is the last thing I should do."
Crystal huffs, her leather brogue nipping the ground impatiently.
"Look, me and Paris talked about you and we agreed that lately..."
"You guys talked about me?" I frown.
"You're acting kind of weird," Paris answers softly, "We feel like there are things you are not telling us."
Like Taehyung staying at my house for the holidays? Hoseok shooting Yoongi? The high probability that Jimin's brother and his lover are after me and will try to murder me in my sleep because I'm partially responsible for ruining their lives?
"I don't know what you're talking about," I say instead.
"Girl," Paris says, taking a tone that makes my stomach churn, "Stop playing games. Taehyung has been walking you home every day this week and you ran away with Yoongi right before he got shot. Now, Jimin pulls you out of the atrium this morning in front of everyone and you get detention for skipping class that same day, I don't have to be a detective to know something is going on."
I don't say a thing, opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of its tank.
I assess my two friends. When have their stares become so judgmental? I frown back at them, crossing my arms on my chest to copy their mutual pose.
"I told you," Crystal says, addressing Paris, "She's fucking all of them and is too embarrassed to admit it."
"Excuse me!" I let out, baffled, "That's really what you think of me?"
Paris shakes her head.
"Of course not," she says, sending a dirty eye towards Crystal, "We're just trying to understand why you have the need to hide things from us. We tell you absolutely everything! Why can't you do the same."
"I - This is just..." I huff in annoyance, "complicated."
"So there IS something," Crystal says victoriously, "You're part of their little club now?"
Her tone is so derogative that I feel the attack all the way to my chore.
Paris swats Crystal's hand, urging her to shush.
I stay there for a minute, opening and closing my mouth. I realize I can't tell them anything about the recent events without telling them about the dead kid on the train tracks. And the truth is... I don't feel like sharing any of it with them for now. They talked about me in my back and Crystal is in such a judgmental mood, I'm too angry to give them the satisfaction of sharing any kind of detail.
"You know what," I finally say, newfound determination making my voice clearer "I don't have to say anything to you guys. I don't owe you anything and this has nothing to do with you."
Paris grabs my wrist.
"Sage, we're worried! These guys are up to no good and we don't want you to get involved into something dangerous or illegal, we just want to look out for you. Also, keeping secrets is not good for anyone. One day, the truth is bound to come forth and then you will want to have us by your side when it happens. Let us be there for you!"
Her eyes tell me she's genuinely worried for me and my tongue loosens in my mouth. Maybe I should tell them everything after all... It's true that keeping all of it from them hasn't been easy at all.
"She just thinks she's too cool for us now that she's friends with the royals. Just give up, Paris." Crystal spits.
And just like that, the concessions I was willing to make go straight down the drain and annoyance surges instead.
"I think I'm going to leave now," I say, pushing them aside to get through.
The corridor is deserted now. I turn back to them before getting to the stairwell. They both look baffled at my sudden ill temper, not used to outbursts coming from me.
"When you two are done scheming in my back and are ready to accept me despite the fact that I have a life outside of you two, you can come talk to me. In the meantime, stay out of my way."
I hear Crystal mutter a 'bitch' in my back, but I act as if I didn't hear, turning a corner to go to the refectory join the others for lunch. This is probably the first fight I ever had with Paris and Crystal. I'm proud of myself for holding it together and not crumbling in front of them.
I'm at the entrance of the refectory when I suddenly realize I have a problem. I can't sit with them at lunch after this, and I'm certainly not going to sit all alone in my corner. An idea dawns to me and I confidently stroll towards Taehyung, Jimin, and Yoongi, already seated at the designated spot for the highest ranked students.
"Are you lost?" Jimin asks as I hover over their heads, lunchbox in hand.
"Can I sit with you guys?" I ask.
My heart hammers in my chest. What if they say no? I feel thousands of eyes glued to my back, people wondering why little Sage Stewart is talking to the nobility. Yoongi frowns slightly. I don't think they're used to anyone asking to sit with them at lunch anymore. A long time ago, they rejected everyone else who wanted to join their squad and since then, nobody tempted their chance again.
"Sure," finally says Taehyung.
He scoots left of the bench, giving me the spot right between him and Yoongi. I can't help but smile triumphantly as I sit between them. A sudden wave of loud chatter invades the room, but I ignore it, smiling at the three boys around me wildly.
"Thanks," I say to Taehyung who is smirking devilishly.
Jimin seems kind of dubious, rubbing his hands together and frowned eyebrows directed at Tae. He seems to take my presence reluctantly and I shake my head, stealing a potato wedge from his plate.
"Come on Chim," I tease, borrowing the name I heard his friends call him, "I'm fun too, I swear. Just the other day I was thinking we should change all of the 'r' letters to 'c' all over town, so that Dirkwood becomes Dickwood on every public sign."
I laugh loudly.
"Can you imagine? People who never came in town and see a big sign 'Welcome to Dickwood' as they cross the border?"
Yoongi laughs and Taehyung shakes his head, snickering in his hand. Jimin finally smiles back at me.
"Can't believe I didn't think of that myself," he tells, "Dickwood General Hospital and Dickwood Mall does sound absolutely divine."
"Music to my ears," Yoongi adds.
"And it would actually be pretty easy. We got paint and tools from our last prank... it's been a while since we haven't had our fun."
He's referring of course to their Halloween joke and all the reversed Christian crosses around the Academy.
"We should wait for Jungkook to come back," Jimin says.
"When is he coming back?" I ask.
Taehyung tenses at my side, just the slightest change in his posture. I feel like the fight they had not too long ago was quite horrible, because every time the boy's name is mentioned, Taehyung shuts down completely.
"I don't know," Yoongi admits, "He hasn't answered any of my texts."
"Me neither," admits Jimin, "Is there any Wifi in Korea?"
"God, you're so dumb sometimes!"
"What do you mean? It's a legitimate question!"
I laugh, digging into my sandwich. I'm actually so happy they included me in their group. It's something to hang out with me within the shadows, but it's another for them to accept me in front of everyone we know.
A new kind of satisfaction bubbles in my stomach when Paris and Crystal finally enter the cafeteria and gaze towards me. Both their jaws drop to the floor when they notice where I'm sitting and with who, and I beam at them, sending them a wave as they both run out of the refectory altogether.
"I can't wait for tonight," Taehyung suddenly directs at me in a sarcastic tone, unaware of the distraction.
"Huh?"
"Detention! It's tonight, remember?"
"Seriously, it's already Friday?" I ask, surprised.
His eyes narrow and he grins mockingly. The sight of his face so purely expressing joy makes me almost choke out my sandwich, and I smile back at him with wide eyes, feeling the air get knocked out of my lungs.
"Time goes by so fast when you're having fun," the boy says in my ear, just low enough for me to hear and I can feel the heat rising up by body.