just another story in the book
pairing: matt jackson x reader
prompt: based on the song WILSHIRE by tyler the creator
genre: angst. no fluff or a happy ending.
warning: some cursing, mentions of almost vomiting
word count: 5k
author's note: ... so this kinda because kenny omega fanfiction too because of the premise of the song so if you don't like him one) what are you doing here? not saying you can't dislike him but like, most of the things i write are for him, and two) this may not be for you.
votes, likes, and reblogs appreciated!
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he'd like to think he doesn't regret much in his life. he's successful, has everything he's ever wanted, is living his dream alongside his brother, has women and men alike lining up at the chance to be with him, hell even just to spend a single night with him. what does he have to regret?
god, that party. that goddamned fucking party where he met you. he regrets going to it with every single fiber of his being. even so, he can't get himself to regret meeting you, to regret talking to you that fateful night because you made him so happy, the way no one else did and when you first talked, he really thought you were it. and that's probably the part that sucks the most: how the both of you connected, had undeniable chemistry, but you still ended up just being another story in the book.
his friend iwaizumi was begging him, begging him to go to some party. the reason why, he has no idea. he's not exactly a party person. he can be loud and obnoxious sometimes, yeah, but that side of matt jackson usually came out only when he was with his friends. for pete's sake, he was straight edge! in spite of that, iwaizumi was a lot of things and persistent was one of them.
matt found himself questioning his smarts when he called nick a few minutes before going to the party. iwaizumi was supposed to pick him up so they could carpool, but he still wanted to know if his little brother knew where they were going. he almost heard the smirk in nick's laugh when they talked on the phone. "i'm not going to the party, man. you know that's not my scene."
he spluttered "but hajime-"
"told him i was sick." nick paused to let out a hearty laugh. "i agreed with him when he first asked. then i texted him this morning and told him i was sick."
matt didn't know whether to be annoyed at his brother or himself when the other man on the line muttered "i can't believe you didn't think of that." under his breath.
the next thing he heard was the doorbell ringing and apparently nick heard it too because he chimed a "have fun!" before hanging up.
matt heaved out a heavy sigh as he checked himself out in the mirror. sure, he may not have wanted to be there, ideally, he wanted to rest for the next string of wrestling shows coming up in a few months, but he wanted to look good nonetheless.
the doorbell rang once again when he was slicking back his hair, his brown locks tied in a manbun that rested on the back of his neck. "wait a sec!" he called, his face over his shoulder, then returned to looking at his reflection once again. he smoothed out his black button down shirt and matching black skinny jeans. "take all the time you need matthew! we can be fashionably late!" the athletic trainer outside his house said. matt's eyebrows furrowed at the use of "fashionably late". it didn't seem like something the iwaizumi hajime would say.
after grabbing his keys, wallet, and phone from the table beside the door and stuffing them inside his pockets, he walked to the door and opened it up. iwaizumi's face was slightly flushed at the cheeks, a smirk on his lips, and a hand on his hip, weight resting on his right foot. matt scrunched up his nose and leant forward, seeing if he'd be able to smell a drop of alcohol on the man. thankfully not. or maybe? he wasn't sure, not being too familiar with the substance. there was a hint of something there though, definitely.
"what're you doing?" hajime grinned at his friend's position in front of him, finding it a tad odd.
"yeah, something's definitely off." matt thought internally. he normally wasn't that nice. in some people's opinion, he wasn't nice at all, but maybe that's just because iwaizumi looked like an intimidating guy, all muscle and masculine features and spiky hair.
matt shook his head and locked his door, walking down the sidewalk and to his friend's car. "nothing."
"are you wondering if i'm drunk?"
matt paused for a short second, not knowing how to respond to that because he was busted. absolutely. iwaizumi continued without waiting for the long haired man's response. "just had one drink of whiskey, matt. nothing to be cautious about." he clapped his heavy hand at the professional wrestler's shoulder, walking to the driver's side of the car and about to go in. that is before matt stopped him. "no, let me drive."
"told ya, we'll be just fine!" the other argued, but matt was not having it. not at all. "yeah, that's what they all say." he rolled his eyes, snatching the car keys from his friend easily -- another sign that shown him that he was correct in what he did. normally he wouldn't be able to do that with such ease. his friend's reflexes were damn scary fast. of course, playing volleyball throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school would do that to you. especially if you were the ace of your powerhouse team, and that was exactly who iwaizumi hajime is.
the athletic trainer couldn't respond, nor could he protest because he swore, he swore he just blinked for a millisecond and then bam, matt was in the driver's seat, inserting the car keys and revving up the engine of his silver rolls royce phantom. with that, he simply huffed, his cheeks puffing out and sat in the passenger seat. "do you even know where the party's at?"
"no, but you're here and you know where it is." matt sent him a sarcastic smile and drove from the driveway with ease.
the drive lasted about thirty minutes, mostly because the only person who knew the directions was "mildly intoxicated" and kept on mixing up his rights and lefts. inside, matt wondered whether he actually knew his right from his left. he'll make sure to ask him that when he's fully sober. nevertheless, they ended up where they wanted to be: the summer home of iwaizumi's boyfriend. "he doesn't actually live here in the US. he lives in argentina, but he comes here every now and then. usually when it's off season." the man told him along the way.
apparently they were childhood friends, grew up together and even went to high school together. the fact they were the setter and ace of the volleyball club of their powerhouse school only strengthened their bond. that was one of the reasons why they stayed so strong even when they're physically far apart, vocalized iwaizumi.
"what's his name?" matt asked as he parked the car by the sidewalk. "i'd be kinda weird if i waltzed in to a party not knowing the guy's name. also, does he not mind us going together?"
"nah. he trusts me. we've been together for a long time now and if he didn't, we wouldn't have stayed together this long." he shrugged before answering matt's other question. "and his name is oikawa toru. you should just call him oikawa."
with that, they exited the car and walked towards the house. it was practically shaking from the bass playing loudly on the speakers. the large windows were covered with a thick, silk, mint green colored curtain, but from where they stood, matt could already make out the flickering strobe lights, from red to green to blue. he looked away for a second, he really wasn't into parties, but he's already there. there was no point in chickening out now.
hajime was the one to open the door for the both of them and he was immediately tackled into a hug by a brown haired man he assumed was his boyfriend. "iwa-chan!"
friends, even best friends, don't look at each other like that. nor do they smile at each other like that. it was the only conclusion the older young buck could draw up.
iwaizumi hugged back just as tightly, then pulled away to give the man in his embrace a kiss on the cheek. that was when his boyfriend, or oikawa, noticed his presence. he eyed him up, eyes squinted. "who's this?"
"oh! this is matt. the guy i was talking to you about. matt, this is oikawa, my boyfriend."
matt swore he heard oikawa whine under his breath about his last name leaving his boyfriend's lips, but he wasn't so sure.
"ah, the wrestler." he said in faint recognition, holding his hand out for the man to shake.
sensing the tension, he gave him a tight lipped smile and shook his hand. "that's me. and you're the volleyball player?"
"part of argentina's national team." he declared proudly, hands resting on his hips and tip of the nose jutted out to the sky. iwaizumi rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "stop being rude, shittykawa. i'll see you later matt!" he waved, turning and pulling his boyfriend away. he twisted his neck to face his friend and shouted "have fun!" before disappearing into the crowd.
that should have been matt's moment to escape. no one was there to make sure he stayed, no one even knew who he was there - or at least that's what he hoped because he really wasn't in the mood to answer questions about his latest feud - and he didn't have to worry about iwaizumi's whereabouts. didn't have to worry about how his friend would get back home when he's drunk since he'll probably stay the night here, so the reason he didn't turn around and walk through the door was a mystery to him. something was just pulling at him, begging him to stay though he didn't know what it was, or why.
he was leaned back against a random corner in the living room for a good amount of time before he spotted you from across the room. it didn't look like you were enjoying yourself either and he continued to convince himself that was the reason why he came up to you and struck up a conversation concerning god knows what. he doesn't even really remember anymore, if he's honest with himself. you've talked so much, so many times that he doesn't remember everything you've talked about, but without a shadow of a doubt, he remembers the way you made him feel in crystal clear hd.
warm and at ease, like he knew you all his life, when in reality, he only knew you for five months and after that, the uninformed eye would probably think you two were strangers to each other.
that night, you talked until the clock struck twelve and the only reason why you stopped was because your friend stumbled from a room and fell into your arms, drunk off of their feet. with a tsk, you hoisted them up and threw their arm over yours to support their weight. the second your eyes met his, he knew you were about to bid your farewells so he crossed his fingers and let the question that has been running in his mind ever since you guys talked out of his mouth and into your ears. "do you wanna hang out some time? i know a good coffee street around here."
you pursed your lips into a thin line. "i have a boyfriend."
"oh."
that didn't stop him from getting your number and it didn't stop you from giving it to him when he asked you of it either. "just friends, okay? i'm not cheating on this one. he's good."
thank the heavens he had good self control because if not, he probably would have rolled his eyes at your words right then and there. instead, he bit his tongue and nodded. "just friends."
he wished he meant it. it seemed like you did, but there's just too much chemistry between you two and that was obvious to anyone who saw the both of you interacting. he found you absolutely irresistible and while he was a bit guilty for feeling that way, a small portion of his heart wished that you'd break up. hell, one night when he was desperately yearning for you, you who was fast asleep in the arms of another man, the man you truly, deeply loved, wished you would just cheat on the guy with him.
he couldn't be that good, right? i mean, he's matt jackson. the matt jackson. how good could this guy be?
in a vulnerable moment, he let his cockiness get the better of him and sent you a text.
[from: matt: kinda wanna meet your boyfriend.]
[from: matt: nothing weird or anything! i'm just interested in what kind of guy he is.]
you replied a few minutes after he'd sent the text.
[to: matt: sure! he knows about you and he wants to meet you too!] was your reply so not long after, the three of you set up a time and a date for the meet up. technically, it was just the two of you though. matt has yet to talk to the man you called your boyfriend. when he asked about it during a videochat, you laughed it off, waving a hand as if to brush his question off. "don't worry about it! he wants to meet you too, i promise. he's just a bit dramatic and wants to make a grand entrance on tuesday." you said, making matt frown.
he sucked it up until tuesday and that day was when he found out how good of a guy your boyfriend is. all of a sudden, he can't blame you for choosing him, for not cheating on him because hell, you were dating his best friend. god has decided to play the cruelest prank on him. you were dating kenny omega, his road husband and how could he get in between you two? kenny was the sweetest guy, he knew. and the part he wants to hate, but can't get himself to do so. the reason for that you knew just as well as him, maybe even more. he didn't hate it because that's what you deserved -- the sweetest guy. but he wanted to hate it because that's supposed to be him -- the man you're looking at with hearts in your eyes as he tightens his grip on your waist and gives your lips a quick peck. obviously it wasn't as harmless as it seemed -- it was supposed to send a message to the man you've made friends with. and obviously, kenny didn't know it was matt, so imagine his surprise when you walked up to him and wrapped him up in a hug. "ken! this is matt, my friend! matt, this is kenny, my boyfriend!" all of a sudden he was getting really sick of these types of introductions.
the surprise was on each man's face which confused you. "do you guys know each other or something?"
to your horror, they both nodded at the exact same time, keeping tense eye contact. "we're friends."
throughout the mall trip, you did your best to make sure you were giving them an equal amount of attention, not wanting either of them to feel left out -- especially now that you've learned they knew each other. you were well aware of the way matt felt about you. one, there was him asking you out during oikawa toru's party, and even if he didn't do that, it was obvious. too obvious.
the way matt looked at you like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the first time didn't sit well with kenny at all. he didn't want to lose his friend like this, especially a friend like matt, but he'd be damned to let you slip away from him and to the arms of his friend. besides, he thought that it wouldn't be that friendly of matt to steal you away from him -- he who found you first. he loved you more, he knew he did.
it wasn't just that which made kenny feel uneasy walking and talking with the both of you. you guys, you and matt seemed to know each other very well, maybe even better than he knew you two and he hated that. he was aware that this isn't brought about by his competitive nature because you weren't some kind of contest for him to win. it deeply hurt him how you guys knew each other inside and out and he wonders exactly how much time you spend with him and what kind of things you did and talked about when you guys did spend time together.
he likes to pride himself in the fact that he's not the jealous type. he doesn't get angry at the sight of you talking to another man because he trusts you and he has faith in himself, but this is matt jackson we're talking about here. he knows how to get what he wants, he's talented and nice and attractive and everything someone would want as a partner, how he was so determined when he set his mind into something didn't ease kenny's nerves as well. he knows how intense matt can get into something and he's scared of the fact that he likes you.
finally, he felt the green-eyed monster creeping up to him and every time you laughed at matt's jokes, or slapped his arm lightly, or smiled at him, he found his fists clenched tighter and tighter by his sides. some of the jokes didn't even seem so funny to him, but maybe that's the reason why he hated it so much -- the fact his significant other and best friend had inside jokes now.
after what felt like an eternity to kenny, you met his furious, stern gaze and frowned. you kissed his cheek and wrapped an arm around his, whispering a "love you" into his ear. even if matt didn't hear, he's the furthest thing from clueless. he could already figure out what you said on his own.
there was no pleasing both matt and kenny. you'd always end up hurting one of them, or both of them no matter what you picked.
when matt told his younger brother about his predicament, the blonde buck did nothing but laugh and shake his head. "well that's one hell of a problem you got yourself in." he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.
"you know you're real insensitive sometimes!" he said, throwing a water bottle at nick who was able to catch it with ease. he twisted the cap and drank from it. "look man, i dunno what to tell ya'. just. don't do anything stupid. and don't hurt kenny or [y/n]."
was that even possible? for either of you? was it possible for matt to not hurt you or kenny? for kenny to not hurt you or matt? for you to not hurt matt or kenny? to cut a long story short, no it was not.
the few days after the trip to the mall, kenny has been acting strange. distant. it was troubling because he was never like that. he liked hugs, and kisses, and cuddles, and words of affirmations, and praise. most of all, praise. but he's been keeping his distance, never staying in the same room as you for more than an hour and though he still spooned you as he slept, there was still something between the two of you. you didn't like it one bit. you knew it was because of matt.
after the fourth day, you decided to take it in your own hands and take charge of the situation: you sat down and had a conversation about the whole unfortunate situation you three found yourselves in.
it didn't end well to say the least. things and hurtful words were thrown around like never before. kenny lost control of his temper, something that very rarely happened. you didn't even know if you've seen him like that before. little did you know, it was because he was desperate to keep you, yet in another life, it would be the reason he'd lose you.
by the end of the fight, when you both grew too tired to be in each other's presence for the night, you slept in the guest bedroom and him in the master's, you were surprised that the house was still intact and that the neighbors didn't call the police on all the racket coming from your house.
as you laid in the unfamiliar bed, cold, crying, and sad, one thing kenny had said was running on your mind. he didn't shout it at you or anything, nor did he knock something off the shelf when he said it which spoke volumes about how powerful it is and how much it bothered you - that being said, it bothered your boyfriend much, much more - "what if you met him before you met me?" he mumbled it when he turned to walk up the stairs.
you hated yourself because things would be so different if that was the case. if matt got to you before kenny, well, you'd probably be with him. kenny knew that as well as you did, maybe even more since you were in denial.
if matt got to you before kenny, you'd be his partner. you'd be in house, sleeping in his arms, whispering those three words that set a fire under kenny against his lips. you most certainly wouldn't be in this predicament.
and that clawed at kenny's brain like a vulture clawing at it's meal, helpless, lifeless, and without hope.
needless to say, matt and you didn't talk for a while after that.
you always begged kenny to let you come backstage after shows, but upon learning that he was going to be there too, and he's be sharing the locker room with your boyfriend, no less, you stopped, content with streaming the show on your laptop and texting him "good luck! stay safe!" before his match and "you did so well, baby!" after.
every time kenny's eyes lit up while looking at his phone, matt knew it was because of you. and every time matt caught that, nick would force him to look away.
he found it amusing at first, but not it's just getting plain painful for everyone involved. he cursed his brother out for asking for your number even though you were taken. "what? did you plan to be a fuckin' side chick or something?" he glared, knowing full well that wasn't how matt ran. he was the star, the best at everything he did. for goodness's sake, he thought matt was better than this, more mature than this, but he guessed he was wrong.
now you don't text, you don't meet up though you're in the same city, you don't tag along with kenny if you know he's gonna be there, and if he enters the hotel room to hang out with his friends - pretending the tension in the room is nonexistent, as always. someone help save nick from this mess, please. he hasn't done anything wrong - you're out of the door. apparently, it was a perfect day to go on a walk.
matt felt incredibly guilty when one time, his plan didn't work. he planned on visiting you and your boyfriend when it was in the negative degrees, deep into the wintertime because surely, you didn't hate him that much that you'd venture out to the cold, white city just to be able to escape him, right? wrong.
when your eyes met, you immediately went back to the bedroom, came back to the living room with more layers on and muttered something on kenny's lips about having to buy something you needed. the look in kenny's eyes seemed strained, like he didn't want you to go out for obvious reasons, but also didn't want you to stay for reasons that are equally obvious. he let himself be selfish and let you walk out of that door to return two hours later, red in the face and shivering violently. until this day, matt and kenny hate themselves for that.
who knew all it took for you and matt to reconnect was your boyfriend being gone? certainly not matt.
he texted you with not so high hopes one night, finally gaining the courage to do so after so much time. he was fully aware that you were avoiding him so during the days he had a grip on himself, his finger would only hover on the "send" button and never actually doing it. that night though, at eleven thirty four in the evening, he was desperate. he'd missed you so much. he felt like he was in purgatory never being able to see or talk to you.
[from: matt: do you want to hang out sometime? it's been a while]
when "delivered" popped up under his text, he buried his face in the pillows resting below him, wanting to scream out his deep frustrations. you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with him so what the hell was be doing wasting not only his time, but yours as well? and when his phone chimed, signaling that someone - most likely you - texted him back, he felt that night's dinner tickling his throat in nervousness. he almost, almost kicked nick awake to read the message for him before taking a deep, shaky breath and opening his phone.
[to: matt: sure! when/where did you have in mind?]
that, truthfully, was the last thing he expected, but he couldn't complain. a smile was painted on his pink lips as he wrote back to you, hands shaking a bit because he couldn't contain his excitement.
[from: matt: maybe this sunday? at the mall?]
[to: matt: great! looking forward to it :D ]
he considered that day to be one of the best days of his life, albeit he hypothesized that the only reason you agreed to come with him was because kenny was in the united kingdom for a string meet and greet events with his fans and you were lonely. he did his best not to think about it, even when nick himself confronted him about that. "i'm not saying they're using you or anything, but they're kenny's s/o and we all know you're more than friends. are you sure this is a good idea?"
it should have concerned him that nick, nick of all people talked to him about his unwise life choice because looking at his track record, it spoke volumes, but matt's selfish, dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid, and probably a tad both masochistic and sadistic side won and he continued with his plans to take you out while kenny wasn't around -- as friends, of course.
shopping sprees, and starbucks, and nike stores, and getting stopped by fans, he did his best to impress you, to show you what it'd be like to be his significant other to no avail.
because it was the last day he got to spend with you happy.
because kenny found out through social media and got mad at you.
because you two fought about it.
because matt was the one you dialled and called when things got too much and you needed to breathe.
it wasn't easy to see your heartbroken face, tears streaming down your cheeks, bloodshot eyes, and messy hair. and it was even harder to accept the fact that he was partially the reason for it. you were at fault too for agreeing, but matt, well, he felt like he took advantage of you when you were sad and lonely and needed someone to show your affection to.
he was wiping off tears from your face when you spoke the words that should have been uttered months ago. "we need to stop doing this."
matt saw it coming. everyone saw it coming. they all saw the way you looked at kenny, like he was the only man in the world and they knew you weren't leaving him for matt jackson, no matter how big the name is and no matter how much chemistry you had. but despite that, he still feels the breath from his lungs exit his mouth at a fast rate like got punched in the gut. if that wasn't enough, you kept on talking. "we both know this-" you gestured to the space between the two of you "-isn't going to happen so what're we doing? we're only hurting ourselves, and i'm hurting kenny. i can't play this game anymore."
he didn't take you to his house then. he didn't see a point in it. you cried in his car, you talked it out, got closure, and he drove you back to your home where kenny waited with tears in his eyes, not knowing whether you'd end up in his arms or matt's tomorrow.
he couldn't look at you when you left the vehicle, only being able to utter a polite and final "goodbye" to the space in front of him, his eyes cast downward and a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. you nodded, "drive safe."
when the car door slammed shut, the dam broke and his tears spilled everywhere. he brought his fists to his eyes and sobbed. after everything, the happiness and sadness and all the other moments in between that he'd spent with you, he couldn't believe you were just another chapter in the book, or rather he was just another chapter in yours.