After hearing how Monty's Father died by saving four kids, my heart was in my stomach, and it couldn't ache any more than it already did for Monty. His Father had died trying to save the fifth kid; that's when Ice Nation got him. The whole time Hannah and then Pike told what happened; there was a lump in my throat I couldn't swallow.
And after Pike claimed that all Grounders were the same was when I moved over to sit next to Bellamy on a rock closest to the cave entrance. Bellamy was antsy; he hated sitting here and waiting — I could tell. He could barely go five minutes without bouncing his leg or fiddling with his hands. When he started to play with his hands yet again, I reached over and took one of them to stop his fidgeting.
"It's going to be okay." My voice was barely above a whisper as I started to rub my thumb over the back of Bellamy's hand. "We'll get her back."
"I hope your right." He murmured before turning to face me.
"Hey," When Bellamy tried to move his head back to looking through the cave, I put two fingers under his chin to make him turn back to me. "don't shut down on me. If you need to talk, talk."
Bellamy's lips parted as though he was going to say something, but he didn't as his eyes stayed on mine. After what felt like an eternity, he slowly leaned his head forward, so his forehead connected with mine before he spoke quietly. "I'm okay. I promise."
A small smile pegged at my lips, and I wasn't sure the reason behind it; being around Bellamy just sparked a smile in me. As I released my grip from Bellamy's hand and got up from my sitting position, I said, "I'm going to go check on Monty. You're not going to do anything stupid, right?"
The smile I had been looking for this entire time finally made its way onto Bellamy's lips as he nodded. I knew when Bellamy said that he was "okay," he was lying because I knew him, and whenever he played with his hands, he was nervous, and that was all he had been doing since he got in the cave.
Moving over to where Monty was, I saw he sat with his back against the cave wall with his legs pulled to his chest; I mirrored his position as I sat down. I didn't say anything when I slid my back against the wall to sit next to Monty — there wasn't much I honestly could say, but I knew if it were me, I would just want someone to be around. The only thing that I did was wrap my arm around his shoulder and pull him closer in a comforting manner.
Everyone was quiet for a while as we all sat in the cave, each spread out to collect our own thoughts. Before we had gotten to the cave, Indra had informed us that she couldn't come with us because she needed to tell the Commander of the Ice Nations marching toward their land. So now, it was up to us to get Clarke before the Ice Nation did.
I wasn't sure how long I was sitting with Monty as my mind had been filling with thoughts. I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation going around me either because Monty was telling his Mother what had happened out Mount Weather. There wasn't even a tiny part of me that wanted to relive what happened, so I just ended up tuning out the sounds around me.
"Forty-two of us got out alive. We did what we had to." Was the first part of the conversation I actually heard clearly.
"You did the right thing. Kill or be killed." Pike expressed as a solemn look came on my face when I watched Hannah try to comfort her son after reliving what had happened. "So Mount Weather is ours now?"
"Yeah." Said Kane as he got up from the rock he was sitting on as Monty did the same and walked away. I didn't question where he was going; I just let him walk as Kane continued. "We use it for supplies."
"Supplies?" Pike questioned in what seemed like disbelief. "It's a nuclear hardened underground city."
"We established a truce." As Kane spoke as I went up to the two men, one of which had an extremely annoyed look on his face.
"And we need to make sure we hold that truce if we want peace." As I spoke, I kept my hardened glare on Pike.
"We need to think about perception." Kane added.
Pike shook his head. "No, you need to think about what happened when the Grounders break the truce, because they will."
My mouth opened to argue with Pike further that all Grounders weren't the enemy when Monty called out from closer to the entrance, "Jo, come here. Bellamy's gone."
Those were all the words I needed to be rushing from where I stood with Pike and Kane over to where Monty was. He was crouched in front of one of the dead Grounders, one of whose armor had been completely removed, and that made my heart drop. What made it fall even further was when I saw Bellamy's discarded guard's jacket on the ground, and as I went to pick it up, I looked over to Monty.
"What the hell is he doing?" I muttered before rushing over to Kane with Bellamy's guard jacket in hand. "He's gone. We have to find him."
And with my words, no sooner were we out of the cave searching for Bellamy, who had gone rogue from what he had told him. I was trying my absolute hardest not to scold him in my mind because we said to wait for the army to pass and what does Bellamy do, not wait and goes marching into a freakin' army. He was being irrational, and if he wasn't dead by the time we got to him, I might just kill him myself.
Pike led the way as he tracked Bellamy's footprints that he was obviously not trying to hide. The army had fully passed and allowed us to go through the now open field. By looking at Bellamy's footprints and the path he took, he must've gone right through the army, which only caused my frustration to surge more. Bellamy wanted to get Clarke back — I knew this — but I didn't know the lengths he would go to get her back which only again made my frustration grow more.
When we finally made it into the trees was when I went ahead of the group to find Bellamy. And luckily, it didn't take any time for me to spot him limping from tree to tree, which only meant he was hurt, which tempered me further. As I started sprinting ahead to Bellamy, I saw he had his right hand covering a wound on his left leg.
"Are you crazy?" I all but shouted at him when I got close enough to see that the wound on his leg was still bleeding. My hands almost immediately nuzzled their way under Bellamy's to hold pressure on it. As Bellamy tried to move again, I moved one of my now bloodied hands from his wound and to his shoulder to push him back against the tree before putting my hand back to where it was. "Stop trying to move. What happened to not doing anything stupid?"
"I — I — I almost had her — she was there." Bellamy's face was covered in sweat — probably because of the trauma his body went through from being stabbed in the leg. At least, that's what the wound looked like — a stab wound. Looking from the stab wound to Bellamy's face, a part of me felt guilty that I let him do this. I didn't stay with him — I didn't make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Me being distracted and lost in my own thoughts caused me not to pay attention and not notice when Bellamy left the cave.
As Bellamy started to try and move again, I pushed him back before chastising, "You big idiot, we told you to wait. You could've died."
"I'm sorry." Bellamy panted through breathes as he finally looked up to meet my eyes with his that had turned soft. "It was stupid, I know, but—"
"Bellamy!" Monty's voice was what cut Bellamy off and had me moving my eyes back to see the remaining part of our group rushing toward us. "He's hurt."
My hands pressed harder on Bellamy's wound, causing a small groan to come from his as everyone caught up to us. Kane wasted no time in chastising Bellamy just like I did. "We told you to wait for the army to move.
Monty came up beside Bellamy, glancing once at where my hands were on his leg before looking between the both of us. "What happened?"
As Kane came up and caught sight of what had happened, Bellamy repeated to Monty the words he said to me. "I almost had her."
"And you got stabbed in the process, Bellamy." I said, looking at him.
"Pike, find their trail." Kane ordered.
"It's useless." Stated Pike. "He knows he's being followed now."
Hearing these words made Bellamy try to move yet again, and it made me push him back against the tree and Kane to come up closer to Bellamy. "You can't even walk."
"So what? We give up?" Bellamy asked, eyes moving between Kane's and mine. "Let him kill her?"
When Bellamy attempted to move once more, this time, Monty stopped him by grabbing hold of his arm. "I wanna find her, too. But look at your leg. You could die out here, and we have no trail—"
"We can't lose Clarke!" Bellamy bellowed and caused a defining silence to come over everyone before Bellamy whispered more quietly, "We can't lose her."
It hurt me to see how much this was hurting him — sometimes he cared too much, and that's what hurt him the most. He has the biggest heart and feels the obligation to care for everyone — to care for every little thing. I was well aware that Bellamy spoke with his heart, and it scared me — it scared me because of how kind and passionate he was about everything. I feared that it would hurt Bellamy in the end because of how deeply he cared for everyone. But I needed Bellamy to be okay, and if he got hurt because of this, I would feel as though it would be my fault.
"We'll get her back, Bellamy." My pleading eyes met Bellamy's again as I spoke in a soft and soothing voice. "But Monty's right. You could die, and you'd be dammed if I let that happen, so please, come back to Arkadia, let Abby check your leg out, and when your good to go, we will find Clarke. Just please, come back home."
The look on Bellamy's face clearly said that he didn't want to cause me or anyone else to have this pain. Through labored breathes, he stayed locked on my eyes as he slowly nodded. "Okay."
Small breaths left my mouth as I kept my hands firm on his thigh, stabilizing him, which was something he indeed needed now. He allowed Monty to wrap his arm around his shoulder to help him walk as I kept the pressure on his thigh. A small sigh of relief left my mouth at the fact that Bellamy wasn't going to push anymore and by the fact that today, he wouldn't make any more life-threatening decisions.
❣︎
A/N
so bc i'm always going over this book, and i want it to be the best that i could possibly get it to be, i'm gonna add like... idk what they're called, but like chapters in between s1 and s2. so there is going to be one before s1, one in between s1 and s2 and then one in between s2 and s3. i also wanted to do this bc i wanted to do this thing i saw on pinterest by putting like a collage of pictures together, and i really wanted to do that for each season, so that's another reason as to why. just thought idk let y'all know, so those don't just out of nowhere pop up for you. oh and they'll being coming out sometime this weekend.
well that's all for now
-annie