A couple days pass with Alex spending time with Kara and Sam trying to encourage Lena to see her own self-worth. It hasn't even been a week, but all four women are exhausted. Fueled by caffeine and sugar, they all do their best to remain focused on their work. Alex sees that L.K. Luthor published a new article on polyatomic anions. For once, she doesn't forward it to her sister. Meanwhile, Sam is helping Lena dodge reporters and journalists trying to understand if she is working on a weapon of mass destruction with these polyatomic anions.
Wednesday's session with Kelly was focused on Lena explaining her side of things. For once in her life, she hides nothing. Lena reveals that she witnessed her biological mother drown and her adoption into the Luthor family. She talks about her traumatic childhood with Lex's cruel pranks and manipulations. Lena talks about how Lillian never loved her, how she tried everything she could to gain her approval and attention. She talks about the events in Metropolis, her family's involvement. She talks about founding L-Corp to try to make up for the damage and destruction her family caused. She goes into how she was never truly supported by Veronica and Andrea. She goes into detail about her first run in with Max and Morgan. When Kelly asks about positive supports, she talks about Sam and Ruby. Two hours fly by in the session, and she hasn't even gotten to talking about Kara. Kelly promises to continue on Friday, but ultimately forces Lena to take a break.
"How was therapy today?" Sam asks as she plops on Lena's couch in her office.
Lena sighs. "I spent the 2 hours telling her everything, but it wasn't enough time. I didn't even get to talk about Kara yet."
"Lena, celebrate the win. For once in your life, you talked to someone about everything. This isn't something that will get better overnight. It's going to take work and time."
"I know, I know. I'm looking forward to Friday's session. Kelly promised to start giving me tools to practice and use."
"I'm so proud of you, Lee. I'll catch you at the board meeting later." Sam heads back to her own office. She is more than a little surprised to find Alex waiting for her. "Alex, right? What brings you here? Lena is in her office."
"I actually came to see you."
"Oh? And what can I do for you?"
"Actually, I think it's more of what can we do together. My sister is a wreck. She's barely functioning. Each day that passes, she thinks Lena won't give her a chance to even talk. She's stuck. And I'm guessing Lena is too since you are still in National City. So, I was thinking we could arrange an 'accidental' meet up."
"I like it," Sam says simply with a wide grin. They stay and plan to get their respective hopeless loved ones to the park on Saturday morning. Alex wants it to happen sooner, but Sam knows that the best bet is the day after Lena has therapy. Maybe Kelly will work some magic that will encourage her to engage with Kara.
******************************
Lena paces in her apartment. She's equally nervous and excited for her session with Kelly. She barely slept and downs a full pot of coffee before her elevator announces the therapist's arrival.
"Good morning, Lena. How are you?"
"Hi, Kelly. Can I get you some coffee or something to drink?"
"I'll take a water, and don't think I didn't notice that you didn't answer my question. We will chat more once we get settled."
Lena spends a few more moments in the kitchen as Kelly sets up in her living room. By the time Lena brings a glass of water and another cup of coffee for herself. "I guess to answer your question, I'm not sure. I'm feeling a lot of different things, but I'm not sure what they are. Anxious for sure is one of them."
"Thank you. Not knowing everything that you are feeling is perfectly alright. That's part of the therapy process. Let's start with that anxious feeling. Why do you think you are feeling that?"
"Well, I didn't quite get to everything on Wednesday. And I guess I'm kind of afraid of what you might have to say on the matter."
"This is a safe space. I won't judge you, and if you want to wait to address it, we most definitely can," Kelly gently reminds her.
"No, I really need to talk about this." Kelly settles in the chair to allow Lena the space to speak her truth. "Well, to make a long story short, I met someone. She's amazing. She was there for me in a way that only Sam has. But with her, I feel- well, I don't know what I feel. She made me feel so at ease."
After a few minutes of silence, Kelly prods, "What about her makes you feel at ease?"
"I got to know her. I spent a lot of time with her. She was like a comfort blanket. She could anticipate what I needed when I didn't even know what I needed. She's been absolutely respectful and supportive. It just felt - natural. Then, she told me something about herself that snapped me back to reality. She put so much trust in me, and she didn't even know who I was, who I am. I don't get a happy life, not after everything that happened. So- I ran. I literally ran away from her, and I haven't talked to her since."
"What makes you think that the reality is that you don't get a happy ending? What if the true reality is when you were comforted?"
"Because I'm a Luthor. My family killed thousands. They tore apart families. Why would I deserve happiness?"
"Did you run because you don't believe there is a happy ending for you or did you run because you were afraid that it is a possibility?"
"I ran because she deserves better. She lost her family as a teenager. She was adopted. She worked so hard to build her life. I would just destroy all of that."
"Lena, why did you choose to start therapy?"
Lena looks confused by the change in topic. "I guess my best friend, Sam, said something that made me realize that what my family taught me could be wrong. They are terrorists, and I'm broken enough to still listen to what they taught me."
"Alright, I am going to tell you what I see. Your brain is going to try to convince you that I'm lying or wrong. I want you to fight that instinct, and just listen as best as you can. Alright? I see an incredibly successful and brilliant woman that has been dealt a crappy hand in life. Despite being beaten down literally and figuratively by family, acquaintances, and complete strangers, you get up every day and work towards a better future. You are resilient and incredibly strong. You are someone who deserves happiness."
Lena reaches for the box of tissues to dry her eyes. She struggles to follow the instructions from Kelly. "Why do you and Sam see that, and all I see is failure?"
"I get a sense that you are a person who likes technical terms and to understand what exactly is happening: is this accurate?"
"Yes?"
"You have tendencies to filter, catastrophize, and emotionally reason. You think in a personalized and polarized way. This means that you focus primarily on the negative, imaging the absolute worse, and interpret your emotions on a situation as fact of what is happening. Everything is black and white, all or nothing to you. And you feel overly responsible for everything bad that happens. Lena, nothing is wrong with you. You are not broken. You are coping. Many, many people use these coping mechanisms. I'm going to give you some tools to try, and some homework for you."
Lena just nods. Logically, she understands that Kelly is the expert, but she emotionally thinks that all Kelly just said was that she is flawed beyond compare.
Almost as if Kelly could read her mind, she adds, "Lena, what did I say about what I see in you?"
Lena blanks. She has to really think hard to remember the start of Kelly's speech.
"You- you said I'm brilliant and dealt a crappy hand."
"You are also strong and resilient and successful. I have two tasks for you to start with over the weekend. It's part of cognitive behavior therapy, or CBT. On Monday, we will go over how it went and your perspective. First, I want you to journal every day. You can write as little or as much as you want, but you have to start and finish each entry with 2 good things. The second activity is going to be a bit draining, and it will take time to adjust. I want you to reflect after each interaction you have with someone meaningful in your life to pick out something positive or even neutral about the interaction. This is going to take practice, Lena. It's going to be hard, but I know you are a hard-worker. Do you think this is doable?"
"I suppose."
"We will pick this up again on Monday."
By the end of the day, Lena is exhausted. She had to take time after every meaningful conversation with Sam and Jess to pick out something positive or neutral. And she hasn't even journaled yet. She obviously tells Sam about the tasks, which leads Sam to sitting Lena down at her kitchen counter with a brand new journal they purchased on the way to Lena's penthouse.
"Sam, I literally don't have the energy for this."
"You said that it doesn't have to be any specific length or topic, so just write that you are drained."
"But I still have to come up with 4 positive things!" Lena whines.
"Now that, I can't help you with. But I'm sure it can be small things, Lee. What made you smile today?"
"Fiiiine," Lena sighs.
With Lena occupied, Sam sneaks off to text Alex to finalize their plans for tomorrow.
Alex BigD
Alright, I have Kara convinced to go to the fountain tomorrow morning. What about Lena?"
[7:52pm]
Sam A- Bo$$
I'm working on Lena. But I will get her there.
[8:16pm]
"Hey Lee, let's go to the fountain tomorrow morning! I want to hang out before I have to go back to Metropolis."
"I was hoping to sleep in a bit, Sammy."
"Come on. Who knows when we will get to hang out like this again. Please?"
"Oh, alright. I'm going to miss you, Sammy."
Sam hugs Lena from behind as she finishes up her journal entry. She reads Lena's final good thing: Sammy being here for me.
******************************
"Sam, why on Earth did we need to be here so early?"
"Because it's my last day with you. Plus, it hasn't gotten crowded yet. Come on. Let's sit by the fountain."
Lena is too tired to notice that Sam keeps looking around like she is expecting someone. She knows that Alex will hold up her end of the bargain, but she really needs Lena to wake up. Sam gets a glint in her eye. She casually reaches around as if she is going to just run her fingers in the water. Instead, she cups her hand and splashes Lena with the cold water. Lena squeals in disbelief and shock. Her eyes narrow at the betrayal of her friend. Lena immediately starts splashing Sam back. The pair burst into laughter and screams.
The noise attracts a lot of attention in the park, including another pair of women just making their way into the park. Alex smirks at the playfulness the two friends are exhibiting. Kara, on the other hand, slumps with her face fallen in disappointment. "Sh-she moved on."
Alex quickly tries to comfort her sister, "Hey, hey. No, that is Sam. That's her CFO."
"That doesn't look like the behavior of a CEO and CFO."
"They are best friends, Kar. Nothing more. Let's go over and say hi."
Kara just shakes her head. "How do you know who Sam is?"
"Oh, uh- I might've done some digging? And possibly showed up to her office?"
"Alex! I told you to leave it alone!" Kara's voice travels across the open park.
Green eyes immediately lock onto the blonde and her sister. Lena's mouth opens in disbelief. Sam just watches intently, trying to figure out how Lena is going to play this. Lena just mumbles to herself, "Kara."