if anyone's ever taken physics, they'd know that gravity on the earth is fairly constant everywhere on the surface.
and also that the gravity accelerates at about 9.81 meters per second, every second.
you, for one, did know this. because being a pre-med student meant that you had to take every single science.
which included physics. and gravity.
now, why did gravity matter?
it seems so mundane, so...boring. and gravity, like everything else, was something that kept you stuck on the ground.
it weighed you down, crushing you every second of every day.
even so, the force of gravity pulling you down is nothing compared to the constant thoughts in your mind. (the ones you had to constantly push away.)
you cleared your mind as you flashed a large smile at the chocolate brown-haired boy in front of you.
the loml.
"i've missed you," you hugged oikawa, smiling like there's no tomorrow.
he grinned back. "so did i, y/n-chan~ it's been so long and i—,"
"ayo. let go of her. she's my best friend."
once again, someone always had to ruin the moment. (and it's always one of the miya twins.)
you laughed as atsumu pulled you away from oikawa.
oikawa stuck his tongue out, pouting. "she loves me more, miya."
"she loves me most, actually."
all eyes turned to the source of the voice.
"oh, go to hell minho," seojun rolled his eyes, pushing minho aside playfully.
"hi kpop idols!" oikawa waved with a grin. "it's nice to meet you!"
"likewise," yuna winked. "we know all about you, mr playboy."
oikawa opened his mouth to say a retort before directing his amused gaze towards you.
he gave you a look of fake betrayal.
you immediately lifted your hands up in defeat. "okay okay, so maybe they know a little bit about you too."
oikawa let out a small laugh. "hmph, i see how it is."
you opened your mouth to respond, but suna interrupted.
"pack it up," suna rolled his eyes. "let's save the reunions for later and actually get to our destination—sometime today, preferably."
oikawa smiled.
"okay then, mr impatient. first stop: tokyo university."
✰
"this is your dorm?!"
"yep," oikawa grinned, popping the 'p'.
the seven of you { name all seven rn. do it i dare u. ps it's seven not including oikawa:b } walked into his room.
it was a whole hotel room. that's what it was.
"you live here alone?" you raised your eyebrow at the tall boy.
"yep."
"the school pays for this?"
"mm."
"you get the free university services?"
"yep."
a pause.
"can i move in?"
oikawa laughed. "i wish. but my room is only this good because i'm on the tokyo volleyball team. this entire floor is reserved just for the volleyball players, actually."
"well shit," atsumu threw his hands up in defeat. "we're on the kyoto volleyball team. where's our 5-star-glimmering-free-service-hotel-room-dorm?"
"i guess it just means we're better," oikawa hummed playfully. "but speaking of which, you guys can all have your own rooms! i asked our managers to it set up for us."
tell me why i didn't choose tokyo uni again?
"is the reason you're friends with him because he has the nice stuff?" minho pointed at oikawa. "because honestly, i would too."
you rolled your eyes. "shut up," you nudged minho. "let's go to our rooms."
suna, who was looking bored, sighed in relief. "finally. some time where i don't have to be stuck in a room with idiots."
suna paused, looking over at his best friend. "except you, samu."
wow okay, ouch.
i see how it is—
slowly, you all made your way to the door, to get ready to visit each of your own so-called 5-star-glimmering-free-service-hotel-room-dorms.
but just before you could leave, oikawa stopped you.
"y/n-chan~," he called with a smile (it's that smile. that damn smile). "you're leaving? i thought we had some things to catch up on..." he trailed off, leaving you, as always, with a wink.
you grinned, feeling the fondness in your heart grow.
"we sure as hell do."
✰
one millisecond.
the dorm was silent for exactly one millisecond.
and in that single millisecond, you braced yourself for the inevitable.
"what?" oikawa stood up in outburst.
ah.
there it is.
you cringed slightly at oikawa's expression.
"it's not...as bad as it seems...?" you broke off, not meeting your friend's gaze.
but even as those words left your mouth, you realized that you couldn't even convince yourself.
"what do you mean—," oikawa's gaze pierced through you. "you and kageyama are what?"
you pursed your lips together. "i don't know."
oikawa took in a breath before sitting back down next to you.
he sighed. "well, do go on."
"oiks, i honestly don't think you want to know the full tale anymore."
"i can take it."
you raised an eyebrow skeptically.
he met you with a determined gaze.
you didn't return it.
oikawa rolled his eyes. "i won't say a word, 'kay? i promise. not a single word from me until you're done explaining."
"really?"
"mm."
"oh-kay then," you let out slowly. "i suppose i should start from the beginning. the...beginning beginning."
god, it's been so long since you've last caught up with oikawa. and it sucks ass how much you both drifted.
it's natural for friendships to drift, yeah, yeah, whatever. knowing that still doesn't make it hurt any less.
but even so—even if you and oikawa don't see each other for years...the friendship would be just as strong as it always is.
that's a fact.
all you have to say is: screw school. screw the 457.6km distance from kyoto to tokyo.
and while we're at it, screw distance, too.
distance was yet another aspect of physics. hell, so was time. and so was the gravity that constantly pushed you down.
everything around you was physics, huh?
(enough of the fucking physics, please.)
you took in a small breath, trying to collect yourself. at the same time, you tried to dig back to the memories from over three months ago.
"so," you began. "you know about how kageyama and i did that project together near the start of the semester?"
oikawa looked up.
"you did a project with him?"
you gave him a look. it was a look that said, 'hey. remember what we just talked about?'
he fell silent, letting you continue.
"well, yes. it was all a big coincidence."
and as you reminisced your past, your mind shut off, letting your words of explanation take control.
two months ago, even thinking about the past was painful.
now? it was more so...nostalgia.
you smiled sadly.
"and that was the start of a long road of hell..."
✰
"you're kidding."
"believe me, i wish i was."
oikawa seemed to be at a loss of words.
"so you and kageyama...you're both 'okay' now?"
you gave a slight flinch at the word.
not even the word kageyama.
the word 'okay'.
because, really. how could things possibly ever be okay?
"no," you said flatly. "we're not okay. but at least, we both aren't angry anymore."
sometimes, i doubt we'll ever be okay again.
you kept that thought to yourself.
oikawa nodded apprehensively. "i still think you should stay away from him, especially since all he's ever done is hurt you..." he broke off.
"but he's a good kid on the inside. i do believe that—not that i'd ever say that to his stupid ass lookin' face," oikawa huffed.
"y/n-chan," oikawa smiled. "so long as you're happy, it's all that matters."
he squeezed your hand.
you smiled. "oiks. thank—,"
before you could even thank him, he continued on.
"but. i don't think you'll ever be happy with him, y/n. at least...not now—not the way you two are right now."
the words felt like a stab at your heart. that's all that words seemed to do, nowadays.
"maybe you're right," you choked out after a pause.
but i miss him. so goddamn much.
i just...i can't say it.
oikawa sighed. "i am glad the drama disappeared. but, i'll still never forgive kageyama for what he's done."
you said nothing in return.
in your mind, you thought to yourself.
did you truly forgive kageyama? did you really let go?
have you truly...healed?
these were things you didn't have the answer to. maybe, someday in the future, you'll be able to answer with the most confident 'yes. one thousand percent yes.' in the world.
that day wasn't today.
"c'mon," oikawa smiled, pulling you up and out of your thoughts. "let's not waste time thinking about him. it's christmas break for god's sake."
you grinned. "you did plan fun things, right?"
"of course i did!" oikawa pouted. "we're gonna do all the festive things. ice skating, festival shopping, snowball fights, skytree—,"
"no."
oikawa stared at you, a small look of shock on his face.
you blinked, not realizing what you just said.
fuck.
what happened to letting go...?
"sorry—," you met his gaze. "i didn't mean—," you paused. "please, just...not the skytree."
oikawa looked at you with an understanding smile.
he'd know. oikawa always knows.
"right. no skytree."
you gave him an appreciative look. and upon checking the time, you realized it was...2:49 in the morning.
you sighed. no sleep, even on christmas break, it seems.
"hey oiks, it is getting kind of late...i'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?"
"mm, of course!" he waved. "sleep well my love!"
you stepped out, ready to leave, when...
"can i say one thing?" oikawa spoke suddenly.
you looked back. "always."
"i...i think you should move on..." oikawa stared at you. "from kageyama. for yourself."
you smiled sadly, not answering the comment. "goodnight oikawa."
as soon as you closed the door behind you, you stared at the ground.
you stared at the exact ground that pushed you down. the one always held the weight, pushing you.
wait...not a push.
at that moment, you realized.
what if the force between you and kageyama wasn't a push? what if it's never been a push?
maybe, it was a pull. and maybe, it was a pull away from each other.
you swallowed down the remorse.
it really was time to move on. to finally move forwards.
because gravity doesn't push either, now that you thought about it.
it was only ever a pull.
a pull in the right direction.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .
author's note~
we need a small break from sadness. to lighten the moment, pls drop ur most embarrassing stories of ur life here.
i'm so intrigued fuel my curiosity, please.
ps i wrote this at 11:27pm on a school night lol i should prolly be asleep rn