all the goodbyes and cries and teary eyes
pairing: matt jackson x reader
prompt: #28 crying during a kiss, your tears mixing with your lovers' and #29 pulling away from a kiss to ask you to marry them
genre: some angst, i would like to think some fluff?
warning: some angst, one (1) suggestive line
word count: 7.2k woah
author's note: finally got a request done aha. hope you enjoy nonnie!
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for someone who couldn't even remember what he ate for breakfast, the way he remembered exactly three instances where he knew he wanted to marry you was scary. while of course, there were more than three times where he was assured that you were the one, these were the ones that stood out to him, the ones that mattered the most. it wasn't simply a this person is cool and i want to spend the rest of my life with them thought. it was a feeling he felt in the deepest pit of his heart. it wasn't a want it was a need. he felt like he wouldn't be truly complete without marrying you because it's you.
the first one he remembers is the first time the thought of marrying you passed through his head. it was far too early in the relationship and he knew this so he didn't say anything, though he was already sure.
it was about eight months into your relationship but you've already known each other for more than a year through a mutual friend. you were invited to a small get-together and he was as well. he randomly came up to you and you two quickly hit it off.
in the past few months, he has noticed that there was a severe lack of date nights between the both of you, mostly because of his busy schedule -- not that you ever complained about it. you understood. you always did. that being said, he still wanted to make sure you knew that he cared. he didn't want anymore two am date nights where it was just either of you staying up late and texting and even though he was busy, he was dead-set on making a way.
and that he did.
one day when he was just hanging out in your living room, he randomly asked you whether you wanted to get on the road with him. he promised you funny road stories, singing along to the songs on the radio, as well as fun, unforgettable three am memories so you found it impossible to accept, much to his relief. it wasn't the most glamorous date night, but it shown that he was making an effort which is an important part in any happy relationship.
you couldn't stop thinking about when that day would come ever since matt told you about it. you felt honored that he invited you to come with him. if he wanted to be stuck in a car with you for hours on end, then he must actually like you, right?
the day finally rolled around much to both of your excitement. matt couldn't even sleep the night before. he hoped you would enjoy it as he knew it could get boring at times, but who doesn't enjoy a good road trip every now and then?
getting to know you better didn't seem like a bad idea either.
he cleaned up nicely that day, knowing that you would be trapped in a car with him for god knew how many hours and he wanted to stay fresh. he also woke up earlier than he usually did because one, he was going to pick you up as well, and two, because he wanted to go to a convenience store to get some snacks, in case you got hungry, and snacks just makes everything better.
smoothing down his hair again to make sure there was no strand out of place, he pushed your doorbell and was surprised at how fast you opened it. you were expecting him, that's for sure. he felt a wave of optimism and relief when he realized that. when he first asked you to hang out, he was worried that you felt obligated to do it since he was your boyfriend but seeing you right now with that smile on your face and you practically bouncing on your heels while you had a suitcase in your hand and a rather large duffel bag slung over your shoulders, he thought that maybe you actually did want this.
"you ready?" he couldn't help but mirror your infectious smile, the one that got wider at his words. "road trip!" you grinned and pumped your fist, the one that wasn't holding the luggage bag, into the air.
when your stuff was in the trunk of his car, he cleared his throat, "so i was thinking we can go to a convenience store first? so you can go pee if you need to and we could get some snacks if you want?"
you clapped your hands together. "that's a great idea mattie!"
simply being in a tiny store with you was lots of fun to him, he hoped you felt the same way. picking out one brand of chips over the other, the same thing with soda, and the chosen pack of candy, as well as that one sandwich just to make it feel less unhealthy was a giggle-filled debate when with you. he loved that giddy, careless feeling he got when he's with you. it felt like he was walking on cloud nine.
things got a bit sour for him when you got back in the car and was on the drive to the airport though.
the traffic was bad. typical californian traffic. he had no idea what he expected, really, but he just hoped that it wouldn't be like this the whole time for your sake. it was something that he grew up with so he was used to it. it wasn't uncommon that those fifteen minute trips to the grocery became thirty minutes. however, he didn't know how you dealt with traffic and the fact that there was a big possibility of you being annoyed at him for dragging you into this - although you agreed to it and jumped at the chance to spend more time with him - ate him up inside. and it was obvious.
you were aware that matt isn't a people person and he got awkward whenever he's around someone he doesn't know very well or isn't comfortable with, but over the past few months where you've been hanging out with each other, it seemed like he was comfortable enough with you so now, you're left wondering why he keeps on fidgeting and sweating even though the ac is on full blast. he was restless, bouncing his knee, nervously running his hand through his hair, and muttering things you couldn't quite catch. it made your wonder. he's never acted like that around you before, did he regret letting you come? did he not actually want you there?
"matt, you alright?" due to your overactive imagination, you were nervous now too.
the question didn't seem to help much because it obviously startled the man, only raising more questions about his behavior. "y-yeah [y/n], everything's fine." he nodded looking straight ahead and tense as a board. it didn't seem like everything's fine.
if it was possible that a person's mind could be going at lightning speed and not at all at the same time, it would be what's going on in matt's head. he just felt so anxious, foot hovering over the gas pedal and trying to will the car in front of him to just go before they get annoyed with me- oh. they probably already are.
he swallowed thickly and bit his lip at the thought, so preoccupied in his head that he doesn't notice the worried glance you keep on sending his way.
"matt are you sure you're fine?"
he had to stop himself from jumping out of his skin at your voice. seeing that you didn't believe him the first time be lied, he tried to be more convincing this time.
keyword: tried.
with a slow, unsure shake of his head up and down, he answered. "yep, never better."
and he wished he didn't peek at you because if you looked annoyed before - you actually didn't. matt's just being paranoid - you definitely did now -- you weren't annoyed, you were worried.
"since," you stopped what ever you were about to say then. he risked to look at you again. it seemed like you were thinking carefully about the next thing you were gonna say and he expected the worst.
since the car hasn't moved an inch for thirty minutes now, can you please pull over and drop me off? and don't bother calling me while you're at it - his negative thought was interrupted by another one of his thoughts - well, maybe not that harsh. they've always been nice.
"since it seems like you aren't fine, but you keep telling me you are, would you be okay with doing something that'll keep your mind off of what ever's bothering you?"
his shoulders subconsciously relaxed and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. you would be lying if you said you weren't proud of that. from his reaction, it was definitely the thing to do.
you started to play twenty questions then, but soon enough, you weren't able to keep track of whose turn it was. instead just asking each other about different things that interested you. different stories being told, there were even times where you forgot about a certain happening in your life, but matt said something that made you remember it and before you knew it, you were telling him all about it, the words uncontrollably spilling from your lips.
later on that night, the road trip has taken another turn. you guys weren't sharing stories anymore and you were listening to songs on the radio. it has taken a much more relaxed - much needed - turn.
for the most part, the both of you were too tired to cause a rukus while singing, usually just silently singing along to the song playing on the radio, or humming, or tapping your fingertips wherever it could reach. that was until your favorite song came on.
you let out a sound that's somewhere between a screech and a gasp, but you couldn't even be bothered to be embarrassed. the tiredness you felt went flying out the window as you turned to matt with a big grin, pointing to the car radio and saying "this is my favorite song!", then loudly singing it.
matt didn't think he saw a more beautiful sight than you so carefree and happy. he wanted to take a picture - it'll last longer - if he was being honest with himself. he was glad for the traffic now - though you could already see the airport from where you were - because he could afford to tear his eyes from the road since your vehicle wasn't moving.
god i have to marry them.
the thought frightened him too. you've been dating for just eight months. this was far too early. he was able to shake off the shock easy enough though, and laugh with you once the traffic light turned green and he stepped on the gas pedal again as you sang along.
he'd bury that thought for as long as he could, although he was well-aware that wasn't going to be forever.
another thing he used to think - you've nailed it into him enough times that he doesn't think this anymore - was that he doesn't deserve you. or you didn't deserve him.
he has spent many nights laying awake with you next to him, wondering what did i do to deserve them? because he had no idea.
you could have chosen anyone. anyone. but for a reason unknown to him, you chose him.
to him, it wasn't simply they deserve better, they deserve more handsome, they deserve more talented, or any of the likes because boy, you made him feel like the best, most handsome, and talented man in the world. he doubted it, but the way you praised him and talked to him gave him a much needed ego stroking every now and then, so it definitely wasn't that.
when he talked to nick about it, he said it was more realistic i guess. more mature.
it was the fact that he was close to being never around. there were times when he brung you with him in his travels, yeah, but more often than not, you would be in your house all alone. he hated leaving you alone. he hated leaving you, period. but all alone when after he suggested you move in together? it made him feel like a supervillain, and not in a good way.
you told him that you supported his wrestling one hundred percent and you weren't going to get in the way of that so you could just facetime or call everyday to stay in touch, as well as messaging each other at different parts of the day, if possible. he despised that there were times when he couldn't even do that. he couldn't even call or text because of his schedule. as many times you told him that it's fine, don't worry about it. i get it, baby. he knew it wasn't okay.
it was unfair to you. during the times he needed you the most, you would pick up the phone the second it rang, but he was unable to do the same thing for you. he hated himself for it. god i'm the worst boyfriend in the world.
he didn't want you to feel alone, or like you were in a relationship by yourself, or that he wasn't interested anymore because that was the furthest thing from the truth. he just had so much on his plate that sometimes, he doesn't hear it when his phone rings, or he gets a notification.
one time, his thoughts concerning the matter got really bad and he tried to leave while you were fast asleep. he loved you so much that he was willing to let you go -- even if you've never asked for it. let someone who could actually be there for you catch you. it's for the best he would tell himself.
and so he forced himself onto his feet and grabbed a paper and pen from the bedside table and started to write.
baby,
i don't know when you'll find this, but i'm sorry. for a lot of things.
i'm sorry for leaving you like this. for not even having the decency to tell you face-to-face. i don't think i could do that. i'm sorry for leaving you like a fifteen year old who dumps his partner via text. it's a coward move but maybe that's what i am when it comes to you. i don't really know anymore.
i'm sorry i've been a bad boyfriend. the worst one. i'm supposed to treat you better. i'm supposed to be better. i wish i could, but no matter how hard i try, i keep on messing up. i hate that i asked you to move in with me, only to tour here and in japan, and even in the uk sometimes. i hate how much i leave you alone. i know you have friends but god baby, i'm your boyfriend. i'm supposed to be there, actually be there, like you are for me and i can't do that. i hate how i've always wanted to be in a relationship, but now that i met the perfect person, i just can't seem to leave wrestling to keep them when i know they're more important.
i'm sorry, i love you so much, but you deserve better. you deserve someone who'll be there for you every step of the way, on every bad day that you have and i hate that that's not me.
eternally yours,
-matt
he's written and rewritten it about a thousand times. the words were being stubborn and didn't wanna cooperate with him, but he's done it. even though the paper is now tear-stained and his handwriting wasn't the best, it's there. all he has to do now is wipe the tears coming out of his eyes and pack his suitcases.
being a wrestler has its perks he thought as he got the biggest suitcase he owned from the top of his cabinet, and placed it on the floor without so much as a thud. it didn't wake you up, and he was glad. he wouldn't know what to do or what to tell you if you woke up.
he started to get the clothes from his side of the drawer as fast and quietly as he could. boxers, basketball shorts he wore at home, t-shirts that look like they should have been given away or disposed of five years ago, but had some sort of sentimental value were all carelessly tossed into the large suitcase. tank tops, other miscellaneous items he kept there because he had no idea where else to put it, socks -- he hoped they would still be in pairs with how he just threw them down.
once his side of the - previously yours and his, but now only yours - drawer was empty, he tried to arrange the clothes in some semblance of order, and he managed to do a half-assed job at that. it was unlike him, but he just wanted to get out of the house before you woke up.
next was the cabinet which was going to prove a bit more challenging as everything were in hangers, a recipe for a noisy disaster. he hated it, but he just hoped.
when you break up with your partner that you've been together with for a while now, especially if you're doing it secretly and you're actually planning to just leave them in the middle of the night - he knew he was pathetic - you tend to get lost in your head, and that's what exactly happened to matt. stopped paying attention to what he was going, and dropped a metal hanger on the floor. he was so stuck in his head that the noise made him jump.
the sudden brightness of the room caused by you opening the bedside lamp made him freeze, both physically and mentally.
there was a bit of silence during the period where you were reading his farewell letter, but soon enough, your voice filled the void.
"so you were just.. planning on leaving me in the middle of the night?" was that the wrong thing to say? you weren't quite sure. you were confused and were feeling a whirlwind of negative emotions that you could barely think. did he always feel that way? did you not tell him how much you loved him enough? you always thought you let him know about how you felt about him plenty of times.
"i'm sorry," he said turning around to face you, but looking down.
words with no action didn't feel right at that moment, so instead of asking more questions and possibly making the situation worse, you got out of bed and walked towards him. he still couldn't look you in the eyes when you were in front of him, so you lifted his face with your hand. at first, he looked everywhere but into your eyes. behind you, the bed, your neck, your cheek, your lips - his gaze lingered a bit there -, but it's not like he could stop himself forever, and he finally looked.
your heart softened at his expression. he truly looked apologetic and you hated that he looked like he actually thought the things that he said, that he wasn't enough and you deserved better.
"i love you, matt," you spoke to him tenderly, not wanting to evoke anymore negative feelings within him. that was the last thing you wanted to do right now, that was the last thing he needed.
he averted his eyes from yours once again, tugging his chin from your hand muttering an "i love you too,". you were under the impression that he felt disappointed - you weren't sure if that was the right word - in himself . he wanted to leave, but all for the wrong reasons. not because he didn't want you anymore, instead because he knew you deserved better and that wasn't him. "staying with you is selfish," he added.
this was something you struggled too from time to time. matt is a handsome, famous, talented wrestler who has a lot of fans who find him attractive - you can't blame them - so you've had your fair share of time where you were doubting yourself and starting to believe what people on social media said about you, so you were aware that simply telling him wasn't going to be enough for him to really believe you. you decided to go down a different route.
you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, burying your head in the junction between his shoulder and neck. "don't care," you mumbled into his skin.
"don't care if it's selfish, don't care if i deserve better. i want you, matt,"
silence. you didn't know if it was good or bad, but he was definitely thinking about what you said.
"even if the best of the best was in front of me, i'd still pick you,"
"you're the love of my life, matt" your voice was softer now, hand going up to play with his hair, something that always comforted him, and you knew that's what he needed right now.
finally, he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in your hair. you felt his lips when he kissed the top of it, like how he always does, and you smiled at the sensation. "god i'm selfish,"
"thank god," you pulled away before kissing him gently. "i know you're trying your best, matt. i know how much you love me, and i love you too. it doesn't matter to me that you're not always physically present. i don't know if you know it, but you're so loving. i can always feel your love even if we're miles apart,"
you smirked at him, "and sometimes i can still feel you between my legs even when you've just left,". much to your delight, he copied your smirk before picking you up - you instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso, and laying you down on the bed.
he worshipped your body all night, showing you how much he loved you. you were glad that you were able to make him stay, and he was glad he stayed because truly, he doesn't know where he would be without you, which leads us to the third memorable time he thought about marrying you.
being a wrestler isn't easy in many aspects.
there was the problem of getting booked when you were still new, and having to deal with really bad, horrible promoters who thought they could mistreat you and walk all over you because you weren't well-known. then, when you're famous, choosing booking and having to arrange and rearrange your schedule was a pain too. not just your schedule for bookings, but you also have to take into consideration the flights. sometimes a flight cancelation could derail everything you had planned for months. although matt wasn't necessarily a control freak, that was still something that really got on his nerves, and he doesn't think it's gonna change anytime soon.
you have all of that, then you also have to deal with the people. wrestling is a business grown on backstabbing and greed, that was something matt learned the hard way. sometimes, it would be directly against him and his brother, nick, or there were also instances where it would just happen around them and they paid just enough attention to catch it. besides that, there were also people who were just flat out bad human beings. there were the bookers mentioned earlier who treated younger wrestlers like trash, wrestlers who were just clearly in it for the money - somebody told them a cruel joke and said that you make tons of money with wrestling. that only happens when you work at the wwe, or when you're uber over with the fans that you get hundreds of merchandise buys everyday - and the some of the fans.
you had to have a thick skin if you're gonna get into the wrestling business because some people tend to take it a step too far all because they're saying their insulting words through a screen and they think it doesn't have consequences.
it's already a well established fact that the young bucks, as well as kenny omega, were big victims of online attacks from haters. at this point, it doesn't really affect them anymore. they're all too used to it.
you've sat next to kenny in the bullet club locker room before and had a glimpse or two of the things that came up on his twitter when his phone was too close to you to ignore. you've seen some of the tweets that were directed at him. at first, it amazed you how kenny just scrolled past a tweet mentioning him that was filled with the most deranged words, mostly composing of slurs and curse words, calling every name in the book. he didn't seem phased at all, but then, you got sad. how much of this did he have to deal with for him to be this unphased now? one does not simply get this unbothered by those types of words. you wondered about your boyfriend and his brother. did he get it worse? if they did, how much worse? are they okay?
well one day, you found out that they weren't always as unphased as they seemed to be.
matt's been acting up all day. he didn't do the things he usually enjoys doing. even weirder, usually, when he's not in a good place mentally, he would go and take a dip in the huge swimming pool in your backyard and clear his head there. sometimes that would be enough to make him feel better, sometimes it wasn't but that was his routine. and he broke it today. he just spent the entire day in your bedroom and he just didn't look quite right.
it wasn't the dark circles under his eyes that made you say that - you sleep in the same bedroom so you more or less knew what time he slept and woke up - nor was it the markings on his face - he just had a nice, hard-fought match. him having marks on his face wasn't something that was out of the ordinary - there was just something off. he looked dead and shallow, like the life has been sucked out of him. the smile you loved oh-so much didn't show up at all during that day. you made it your mission to make him smile.
you ditched the meal you were planning on making for dinner, and instead cooked his favorite food, watching tv shows that he liked while you ate instead of your shows. he looked a little bit less pale now, but he still looked a bit too out of it for your liking.
after dinner though, you realized that you couldn't just force him to be happy. he was only human, he is always going to have his moments, and that's okay, as long as he knew that you were there for him if he ever needed that. so, after you've washed the dishes, you got into your nighttime clothes, and went into your bedroom where matt already was, clad in black basketball shorts and his cellphone in his hand.
you snuggled up to him the way you always did. he seemed to like that, holding you against him.
"hey," you started, looking up at him. he seemed to be really good at pretending he was okay. if you didn't know his routines and the way he usually acted, just basing off of his facial expression and the way he moved right now, you probably wouldn't have picked up on the fact that there was definitely something wrong with him today.
he looked down at you, raising an eyebrow.
"are you okay?" he tilted his phone slightly away from you and you had no idea whether he did that consciously or not, but he did.
"everything's fine, baby," he threw a smile at you and it wasn't the smile you'd been hoping to see all day. it was fake. it didn't reach his eyes. his dimples didn't dig into his bearded cheek the way it usually did. if you weren't sure of it before, you were sure of it now. there was most definitely something wrong.
you pretended to buy it though, letting him scroll through his phone again. he held it at the height where you could see the things he was looking at and there you saw the culprit of his foul mood, hate tweets made by miserable, sad, envious people.
still acting like you had no idea what was up, you snuggled further into his side, his arm instinctively tightening around you, but his other hand continuing to scroll through the toxic app. you kissed his chest, before laying your head on it. "you're the best, have i ever told you that?"
"once or twice," but it didn't seem like he was paying attention to you at all. it was just like he was responding, solely to respond and nothing else. just so you wouldn't think he was ignoring you - technically, he was - and was mad at you. his voice was empty and devoid of all emotion.
"no matt, i'm serious," you grabbed the phone from his hand and set it on the bedside table next to him. you sat on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. "you're seriously the best,"
"at wrestling, being a boyfriend, a friend, everything. people should aim to be more like you. you know why people keep on comparing you to every tag team on the planet? because you and nick set the bar every single time. whenever another tag team has a good match, their fans aren't talking about them or their opponent. they aren't talking about the match and their favorite parts in the match, they're talking about you because you're that good,"
finally, a smile - a real smile, although not as big as you wanted it to be, but still, it's a start - creeped onto his face, dimples and all. it was a beautiful sight to see. "you know what, baby? you're right," he shut his phone off and laid you next to him, spooning you.
after a few minutes of laying there trying to fall asleep, you felt his lips against the back of your neck. that was something he did whenever he was wondering if you were asleep or not, or if he was just feeling affectionate.
you hummed at him, indirectly informing him that you were still awake, much like him. "you knew, didn't you?"
you couldn't help but laugh, both at what he said and his tone. "i always know, matt."
and he was grateful for that. for the way that you always knew what he needed, whether that be space, time, affection, silence, or whatever that may be. you always knew and didn't push him to do something he was uncomfortable with. it was greatly appreciated. life on the road can be so rough and fast-paced, he liked knowing that he could take it slow and have a break when he was with you.
like with everything in life though, being on the road often had its advantages too.
now that he has reached the status he has, it's like he's practically getting paid to be a tourist and travel around. he's been to different landmarks in the united states during these tours where the promoter was paying for everything.
being on the road often also spiced things up. every crowd he performed in front of was different which made it even more exciting and made him learn more things because a trick doesn't work twice now, especially with social media. he's learned how to expand and modify his craft to the point where it just came natural to him and he doesn't even have to think about it anymore. be feeds off of the energy and vibe of the crowd.
a really good, and important advantage though, is that even if he doesn't really need it most of the time, he can get a lot of privacy from you. that sounds suspicious, but when you take into account the things he's doing - or planning on doing - it makes a lot of sense.
thankfully, a lot his friends are friends with each other so he knows that most of the time, they're all in one place. he doesn't have to call in a weird matt's closest friends meeting or anything like that.
yesterday, he told them that he had something very important to tell them. it caught his friends by surprise, nick as well. he sounded serious, and he was rarely this serious. they wondered if it was something bad, or if it was something like him agreeing to sign with the other place.
they were in kenny's room now - he got a suite - and there was a lot of tension in the room due to matt's serious words. his friends were quite nervous for it because they had no idea what it was going to be about. nick tried to pry it off of him all night, to no avail. matt just said that it would be better to say once the gang was all together. the younger brother had some trouble sleeping then, overthinking about what it could possibly be.
finally, matt spoke. "guys, i'm thinking of marrying [y/n]."
the mood of a room never shifted so quickly. nick was the first one to get to him, tackling his older brother in a hug. matt chuckled at his reaction and patted his back.
one-by-one, each of his friends came to him, offering their positive, encouraging words. although they definitely knew that matt was planning on marrying you someday - the people he traveled with knew this especially. he wouldn't stop talking to them about you - but they didn't expect this. they were happy though. actually, to say they were happy was an understatement, because they've met you before and they very much approved of you. they thought you're the perfect partner for matt. although you have your similarities, you balance each other out. you never complained if he didn't text you back immediately, you seemed to be very supportive of his career and understood the things that came with it. overall, you seemed to be a very well put together person. they wanted nothing less for their friend.
"they're just so understanding of everything i do. they're so thoughtful too. they know me so well and they make me feel so loved. i just got a feeling with this one. i really think they're the one,"
kenny and nick went ring shopping with him since you've spend a fair amount of time with them too because they're the ones matt travels with, and when you're with him, wherever he is, you're there too. they've had a glimpse of you and have some pretty good guesses of what they think you'll like. even if they don't, those two are still good moral support for your boyfriend, soon fiancee.
it was hard to find a ring to propose to you with. there'll be a ring he's unsure of - he doesn't know if the reason he doesn't exactly like it is caused by his nerves, or if there's something actually off with it - and he'll take it to the boys who'll shake their heads at him.
"too gold,"
"too silver,"
"too plain,"
"too eyecatching"
"that would be perfect if it didn't have this thing,"
and yes, he agreed with his friend's thoughts about the rings he's shown to them, he's still getting annoyed and frustrated. be didn't know it was going to be this hard. it wasn't supposed to be this hard. while he knew you would have accepted a ring pop - maybe you would even prefer a ring pop you could eat rather than an engagement ring - he still wanted to find you the perfect one. that was easier said than done.
it had to be noted though, that it was certainly not easy, but it was also not impossible because after the nth ring he saw - he's sure the poor saleslady was sick and tired of him now - he finally found one he knows you'll love, and the boys agree with him.
it was absolutely perfect.
he buys it and stuffs it deep in his bag, making sure that you won't find it.
throughout the whole tour, it feels like it weighs a ton. he checks it all the time - when he gets to the hotel, when he gets to the arena, before his match, after his match, before he leaves the arena, before he leaves the hotel - to make sure it didn't get lost or stolen. at this point, the likelyhood of him misplacing it because of how much he checks it is much more likely than it getting stolen, although that might be because his coworkers are very supportive and wouldn't even dream of stealing this away from the both of you. that and they knew how big the young bucks were and figured it would be smart to not make an enemy out of them.
and throughout the whole tour, he was also thinking of the different ways he could propose to you. there were so many ways, it was tough to figure out which one would fit you the best. a public proposal was out. he's a hundred percent sure that you're saying yes and he won't be left there alone and feeling embarassed - he knows this because you've talked about it before. he found it weird that there are people that publicly propose without asking their partner how they feel about marriage first - but he also doesn't want to put you in that position. unless he's wrestling, he doesn't like much attention from the public either, so a private proposal it was.
flights from the city where he last performed in to california was usually a nice, relaxing one, and one filled with chatter with nick, sometimes about the crowd and their favorite matches. this wasn't the case today though. he was nervous and this was nerve wracking for him. it's a big step in your lives. and what about the small what if they say no that lingers in his head. he knows you won't, and that the worst case scenario is you saying no simply because you aren't ready - where you aren't breaking up with him, but are just saying that you don't want to get married just yet - but he can't stop himself from overthinking.
when he got home, he hoped that he was acting the way he usually did, because you always picked up when he didn't. that was the last thing he wanted or needed right now.
he greeted you with the "baby, i'm home," the way he always did, hugged you tightly the way he always did, and kissed your cheek the way he always did. he conversed during dinner, the one he struggled with the most. how could be act all normal when his mind was going a thousand miles a minute? he smiled and nodded at the story you were telling about something that happened in your workplace, pretending that he wasn't fretting about proposing. given the circumstances, he likes to think that he did pretty well.
it was the next day, the day he planned to propose. he prayed that he doesn't chicken out last minute, letting out a shaky sigh when he out the ring box into his pocket. this is happening. i want this to happen. i want to spend the rest of my life with them.
waking up to matt noisily pushing the door open with his foot wasn't a situation you frequently found yourself in, but you welcomed it with open arms nonetheless. especially when he had a tray of your favorite breakfast foods in his hands. you licked your lips at the sight, then smiled warmly at him. it smelled simply mouth-watering.
you sat up when he greeted you back, "good morning, honey," he returned your smile when he reached the side of your bed, setting the tray on your lap. "just thought i'd do something nice for you since you always do nice things for me."
"aww matt, you didn't have to," you started to eat, then adding "i'm not complaining though." when you found out how good the food he cooked tasted. your response had a chuckle come out of him.
"actually, [y/n], before you eat, i wanted to say something. i planned on saying this when you're done, but i'm afraid i'll chicken out,"
you immediately put your fork down, but not before sucking the crumb that got stuck there into your mouth. "what's that, baby? you okay?"
he took a deep breath in, then started speaking. "you are.. absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me. i love how supportive you are of me. not everyone has it in them to date a wrestler, but you've done it for years. i don't know how you do it, but i really appreciate it. i see all the things you do for me like, watching my matches and every single episode of bte. how you send me t-shirt designs you think would be good, and most of the time, it's your designs that are the top sellers," he smiled.
"you mean a lot to me. i don't-" he interrupted himself, correcting his statement. "i know i wouldn't have reached this point without you, [y/n]-"
you didn't know what it was, but you cut him off, kissing him. maybe it was because you just woke up, or because of his sweet gesture, bringing you breakfast in bed, or maybe it was because he just got home from tour, but you felt tears streaming down your cheeks as you kissed him. you recognized him tearing up as well, his tears mixing with your own.
the kiss is passionate, but not hungry. longing, but not possessive. it was like how you wanted each other so bad, but didn't feel the need to do things you didn't have to because you're well-aware that you have the rest of your lives to do it.
he pulled away far too early in your opinion, but you couldn't get yourself to be mad at him, or to be annoyed with him when he dug around for something in his grey sweatpants, turning back to you, "marry me, [y/n], marry m-" he wasn't able to finish it when you crashed your lips against his again.
"yes, yes of course i'll marry you, matt. didn't even have to ask."