After a lot of bossing around and a lot of 'Bellamy, can you carry this over there?' We finally had the batteries tied in and everything else ready, and violá, we had flares.
I stood next to Clarke, waiting for the flares to go off. When they did, Bellamy came up and stood next to me on my left. Watching the flares go up was so beautiful; the pink light that illuminated off of them lit up the whole sky. I hoped they'd be able to see them from the Ark and that they'd see them in time.
It made me think of my brother. I wondered if he could see the flares. If he was still alive, that is. I wonder if he knows I was looking at the same thing he was looking at. This gave me a sense of peace, feeling connected to him in this weird way.
"Think they can see it from up there?" Bellamy questioned from beside me.
"I don't know. I hope so. Can you wish in this kind of shooting star?" This caused both me and Bellamy to look at the blonde. Seeing our looks, she said, "Forget it."
Wishing upon a shooting star only seemed like a dream for me; I thought I'd never get to do that. On the Ark, people could probably see shooting stars as they passed by, but not me. I never had that privilege because of my life. It then dawned on me that this would technically be my first shooting star, and therefore, I considered this a shooting star you could wish upon.
"I wouldn't even know what to wish for." Bellamy answered Clarke's question. "What about you?"
The blond didn't answer; she just looked over to where Raven and Finn were sitting watching the flares. So, I decided to answer Bellamy's question. "I know what I'd wish for."
I could feel Bellamy's eyes on me. "Your brother."
"Yeah." I simply answered, looking up to meet Bellamy's eyes. I took a moment and thought hard about what I was going to say. "I'm sorry for all the things I said to you. I shouldn't have said them, but... I can't forgive you. Not yet, at least."
"I think I can live with that."
❣︎
It was sometime in the middle of the night when someone came barging into mine and Harper's tent. It was just me in here because Harper was on watch.
"What the hell?" I whisper-shouted at the figure who is standing at the entrance. I sat up from my cot, covering my top half that was currently bare. Hey, don't judge, it's comfortable, and I'm by myself.
"Jo?" I heard Bellamy's voice.
"Bellamy, get the hell out of here." I said, throwing Harper's pillow at him, which he easily dodged.
"Have you seen Octavia?"
"No." I said, trying to keep myself covered. "Why? Is she missing?"
"I haven't seen her since we got back." He explained.
"Alright. Give me a second, and I'll be right out." Bellamy closed the flap of the tent and left. I got dressed as quickly as I could. I threw on my boots and headed outside. Bellamy was standing right at the entrance waiting for me.
There was something on his features that I had never seen on Bellamy before. He wasn't just anxious about finding his sister, there was sheer panic on his face. It had my face softening as I looked at him because he was obviously freaking out.
"Jo, I've looked everywhere, I — I can't find her."
"It'll be okay. You finish checking the tents, and I'll look in the Dropship. Sound like a plan?" I asked.
"Yeah."
We then split up in search of the missing Blake sibling.
❣︎
After me, Bellamy, and a newly added Clarke searched the whole camp twice; we'd determined that Octavia's not here. It had my heart dropping to my stomach a little, wondering where the missing Blake sibling could be.
Bellamy decided to wake everyone up and demanded that they search for Octavia. I'd do the same thing for John if I could. I got what he was going through more than anyone — I understood how scared he was.
"Hey, everybody, gather around, grab a weapon." He ordered the now active kids before dropping a tarp filled with weapons out for everyone to take one. I saw something oddly familiar, which had me narrowing my eyes at the object. Picking said object up, I recognized it as my brother's knife, the same one used to kill Wells. I decided I'd take that, even if it were the thing that killed Wells, it reminded me of my brother, and that's good enough for me. I put a tight grip around the yellow handle as I listened to Bellamy announce, "My sister's been out there alone for twelve hours. Arm up. We're not coming back without her."
I walked alongside a now somewhat healthy Jasper when Clarke stopped him. "Hey Jasper, you don't have to do this. You haven't left camp since we brought you back."
"Clarke, I need to do this." He told her. I could tell he had so much fear in his voice, but he wanted to do this for Octavia.
Jasper had only been active for a matter of days, and I wouldn't lie and say that I wasn't worried about him because I was. Who knows what could happen out there and who knows if Jasper would be ready for it. It had me looking concerningly over to the timid boy.
"We need all the people we can get." Bellamy interjected, coming from behind Clarke.
Jasper and I continued to walk towards the entrance of the camp as I told him reassuringly, "I'll be right by your side the whole time."
"How are you holding up, Jo?" Jasper asked as we stopped at the camp entrance waiting for Bellamy with the group of people gathered around.
"Perfectly fine." I assured, trying to give him a convincing smile.
"Are you sure? You know you don't have to go out there either."
"Thank you, Jasper. But Octavia's my friend, and I want to help her." I said as I started twirling the knife in my hand.
The group started moving when I heard a voice speak up. "You know if you keep doing that, you're going to cut your fingers off."
"Ha, ha." I mockingly laughed as Bellamy came up to Jasper and me.
"You see that?" Some kid called out, stopping the group from moving. "Look up there."
Trying to see what they were looking at, I looked up at the stars to see many flicking lights. Only, they weren't lights. I knew exactly what they were, and my breath caught in my throat as I whispered, "No."
"They didn't work." Raven said, joining the group, as did Clarke and Finn. "They didn't see the flares."
Bellamy looked at Raven with a puzzled expression. "A meteor shower tells you that?"
"It's not a meteor shower." I informed him.
"It's a funeral." Clarke added. "Hundreds of bodies being returned to Earth from the Ark. This is what it looks like from the other side. They didn't get our message." Clarke said as she turned to Raven.
Raven's eyes turned to fury as she came up to face Bellamy. "This is all because of you!"
"I helped you find the radio." Bellamy defended.
"Yeah, after you jacked it from my pod and trashed it!" Raven countered, now needing to be held back by Finn and Clarke.
"Yeah, he knows," Clarke told her. "now he says to live with it."
"Amongst other things." I mumbled to myself.
Bellamy looked back at the sky before saying, "All I know is that my sister is out there and I'm gonna find her." He turned his gaze to Finn. "You coming or what?"
Finn slightly nodded his head. "Yeah."
"Then what are we waiting for? Move out!" He announced to the crowd and headed off to lead the search party. I stayed next to Jasper, both of us waiting for Finn and Clarke to come with us.
Still looking at the stars, Clarke said, "Three hundred won't be enough, the oxygen level will just keep dropping. And if we don't tell them they can survive down here, they'll kill more people. They have to."
"Guys." Jasper tried to gain their attention, and they all looked at the two of us. "They're leaving. We gotta go."
Finn started to walk away before turning back to Raven. "You should probably stay and fix the radio."
"Fix it?" Raven asked, shocked like Finn was asking the world from her. "The transmission's smashed, unless there's a parts depot down here, we're not talking to the Ark."
A look of realization spread across Clarke's face. "Art supplies store." She and Finn shared a look before Clarke turned to Raven. "I know a place where you might be able to get a transmitter."
"Great." Raven said almost hesitantly. "It looks like your coming with me instead."
"Finn." Jasper called out, causing me to take a moment to look at his face and see that he was so scared and tense. "We can't find her without you."
"Come on, Jasper, he'll catch up." I said, leading the boy out of the camp and into the woods. I didn't want to hear or see the rest of that awkward conversation.
Octavia, we're coming for you.
❣︎
Walking through the forest at night gave me the creeps with the different sounds that made me turn my head thinking that something was out there. The eerieness of it all — it just made me so uncomfortable. I also felt like I had eyes on me, which made me even more uncomfortable. It just felt like someone was watching me through the dense forest.
As I walked alongside Bellamy, I could feel he was tense. We walked side by side, with neither of us sparing a glance at each other as our eyes scanned the forest. We walked in silence for a long time, allowing me to feel the wordiness radiating of Bellamy for his younger sister. I was the one to break the silence as we continued to walk.
"Guess you'd never thought you'd be in my situation, huh? You know, not knowing if your sibling is alive or dead. Wondering where they are and if they're okay. Now you know how I feel." Bellamy gave me a look, and I quickly apologized, not processing what I had said. "Sorry. I'm trying really hard not to be mad at you and make rude comments." I paused for a second, my tone now more serious. "But in all seriousness, our siblings are going to be the death of us."
Before Bellamy could say anything, someone called out, "Over here," which had Bellamy and me running up to the source of the voice to see Mbege at the edge of a ridge. The rest of the group followed behind us, stopping at the edge.
"What is it?" Bellamy asked with hopefulness in his tone.
"Right there, you see it?" He asked, pointing down the ridge at a red ribbon stuck on a bush. "Is that Octavia's?"
"Rope." Bellamy demanded.
"Wait, what are you doing?" I asked as Bellamy took the rope.
"That's what I'm wondering." Finn said, coming to stand next to me.
"We need the rope to get back up." Bellamy said simply before throwing the rope down the ridge after tying it to a tree. "Flashlight." He then demanded and was handed what he asked for. He took one more look at the bottom before he started to make his way down to the bush. Bellamy took the red ribbon off the bush and inspected it before shouting to us, "It's hers! I'm going all the way down."
Jasper seemed to have an internal debate before he handed Finn his torch and started to go down. I looked at the rope for a second before turning back to Finn, who still held the torch in his hand.
"What the hell." I mumbled while shrugging at Finn. I took the rope and slowly but surely made my way down with Finn coming down behind me.
Finn and I walked over to Bellamy and Jasper, who are kneeled in front of a rock, inspecting the blood on it and some visible footprints. I didn't know whether this was a sign of hope or a warning that we should be worried.
"Someone else was here." Bellamy observed.
Finn took a look at the prints before pointing at the footprints. "It's deeper going that way. He was carrying her.
I heard kids jumping down behind me, so at least I knew it was just not going to be the four of us. Looking at Bellamy's face after what Finn said, he had the same fearful look written all over it.
"If they took her, she's alive." Jasper said in a somewhat hopeful tone. "Like when they took me."
All Bellamy needed was that glimmer of hope to keep going. We started walking forward, looking for any more signs of Octavia.
❣︎
I'd been walking alongside Finn in the front of the group for a while when I finally decided to speak up. "So, what's going on with you, Raven, and Clarke?"
Finn just kind of stared at me before saying, "Nothing."
"Okay, I'm gonna be honest, that's a load of crap." I said, earning a light laugh from Finn. "Seriously though, what's going on. You can talk to me."
"It's just... I've known Raven my whole life. I've loved her my whole life, and then I meet Clarke, and suddenly things change."
"So it finally happened between you two?" I asked with a teasing smile.
"Shut up." Finn said playfully.
"Just go with your heart." I advised him. "Do what makes you feel happy. Just don't hurt them, okay? They both love you, just make sure you let one down as easy as possible."
"You know I should ask you about what's going on between you and—" Finn cut himself off as we came across yet another horrifying sight.
Looking forward in our path, skeletons were hanging on trees as far as I could see, my eyes widened in shock at the sight. The whole group had stopped behind Finn and me, presumably staring at what lay ahead f us just like the two of us were doing.
"I don't speak Grounder..." Finn started with terror in his voice. "But I'm pretty sure this means keep out."
❣︎
A/N
i love finn and jo
and just to be clear, jo is still upset about what happened. she hasn't forgiven bellamy, but she knows she has to be semi-nice and at least tolerate him.
fun fact: my mom teaches kindergarten, and she has a kid named literally john murphy coming to her class and i thought that was kinda cool
well that's all for now
-annie