In your past life you resented Diana. A beautiful foreign dancer with her enchanting dance captured the heart of the Cold Emperor all the while you watched from sidelines. You helpless watched the man you loved the most fell in love with her while your feelings never truly reached him, were never acknowledged by him. You wanted to hate Diana but it was impossible. She was beautiful like a rose, free spirited like a bird, bright like the sun. There was nothing about her you could hate, so you resented her.
But that was then and this was now. As you stared into her shimmering rosy eyes filled with happiness with slight tinge of sadness, you could never resent her.
But that didn't stop the pain that flooded your heart. You had came prepared for all the heartaches and goodbyes and yet you were so unprepared to face it.
Diana's hands were on her stomach as she happily looked at you.
"We are having mini Diana soon, aren't we?" You exclaimed excitedly at her with a toothy grin.
Diana was taken aback and her excited face fell as though your words poured cold water on her excitement.
"How did you know that? Here I was waiting so eagerly to tell you!"
You couldn't help but stare at her as she sulked. You gaze went on her stomach that was quite visible.
How the hell do you miss that?! It's glaringly obvious she's pregnant!
You deadpanned and pointed at her bulging stomach poorly concealed under her oversized gown. "It's so obvious you can't even pretend not to see that!"
"...You're right." Her sullen face drew a laugh out of you. And Diana pouted at you. "You don't look all that shock."
"Of course I'm in shock!" You comically widened your eyes to emphasize. "Can't you see it? My wide shock filled eyes."
Diana pouted. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?"
You laughed at her sulking self. "It's fun poking at you. You look cute when you pout!"
Diana smiled and gently shook her head. "You haven't changed at all. Still the same eccentric girl."
"You bet I am!"
As you flashed her cheeky grin, she stared at you with complicated eyes as slowly her expression filled with hesitance.
Grasping that she had something to say but was reluctant, you quickly grabbed her hands and said softly, encouragingly. "Spit it out already! I came all the way here for you, so don't be stingy to vent out whatever is troubling you!"
Diana looked shaken before she gave you a teary smile. "Ah, saying such words so carelessly, you really don't have sense of mind. It makes me more guilty."
"Huh?" You tilted your head at her confusing words. What did she mean by that?
There was a strange emotion in her eyes almost as if she felt guilty of something. She opened her mouth hesitating, before finally blurting out.
"Do you who is the father?"
Your hands twitched as you kept the smile plastered on your lips, making sure it didn't waver regardless how rattled you were by that the single questions.
You tapped your chin in thought at Diana's probing stare. "I can take a guess. Hmmm. Let's see you live in Ruby palace and are doted by the Emperor. Hmm?"
Diana watched you with baited breath.
You mused, exaggerating your thoughtful expression and fist pumped in fake realization. "A-ha! I know who the father is. It's --wait for it--The Emperor!"
The same guy that I once loved. But not anymore. Not when I know what kind of monster he is.
You bitterly smiled to yourself.
Diana softly laughed at your childish antics before looking solemnly at you. "(Y/n). Were you and my majesty close?"
Your smile fell off and you stared at her silence. How did she know about that?!
Gaining your wits back, you replied in strained voice. "No. And even if we were, it doesn't matter anymore. It's water under the bridge."
Diana looked even more conflicted. "Was his majesty the reason you ran away?"
You flinched. You couldn't tell Diana how close she was to the truth. "No. Remember what I used to tell you. About how I want to travel the world and not get tangled with the nobles. Well, one chaotic night I got the golden opportunity and Bam! I totally took advantage of it and sneaked away."
Diana looked doubtful. Before she could fire off more questions you cut her off. "Geez what's up with all the questions? Did pregnancy upped your curiosity or something?"
"I just.." Diana shook her head. "I thought you and majesty were close. Because whenever your death is brought up, he always gets upset."
Your eyes widened and you stared at her dumbfounded. Claude upset over your death? You could see Felix doing that but Claude..You bit your lips agitated at the sudden conflict in your heart. Were you wrong? What if Claude wasn't heartless as you made him out to be?
No. Now wasn't time to lose yourself in emotions. Even if you had doubts about Claude, you couldn't forget the past and the incident that would happen in the future. Maybe your fake death would come handy in escaping from here without being hunt down.
You quickly shook off your conflicted thoughts and answered Diana. "Must be the agitation of losing such young talented Healer like me! I was excellent at healing afterall. It's nothing more than that. You are looking for more when there isn't."
"Is that so." Diana pursued her lips at your flippant words and opened her mouth but she must have seen something in your expression that made her sigh deeply. She gave up further pursuing the topic. "Guess I was the one overthinking about things and getting stressed."
"Don't worry about it. I overthink all the time! But don't get stressed now, it ain't good for the baby!"
Diana slightly smiled at your attempt to lighten up the atmosphere before she murmured. "There is something else I want to tell you."
Tension surrounded her as she gazed at you with wavering eyes. You kept quiet, letting her gather her courage to keep her mind.
"(Y/n). After I got checked by the Royal doctors they said my body was too fragile for childbearing and the child inside me is strong. If I want the child I'd have to sacrifice myself." She said in rushed voice, all in one breath.
Her petals like eyes focused on you, trying to gauge your reactions to her words.
The news didn't surprised you, you knew all along but the pain did. Even though you steeled yourself for this. Talked yourself into confidence that you would be strong. Nothing could lessen the blow of the news of her dying. Your heart clenched painfully.
You knew Diana was worried about how you would take the news. You had to choose the right words to dispel her concern.
So forcing down your own pain, you smiled at her.
"Diana, whatever your decision is, I'll respect it. If you want the child, I'll stand by your choice and even if you don't, still you would find me beside you. Whatever happens you're not alone in this." You placed your hand on her cheek and said with geniune smile. "You have me so you don't have to this alone."
At that Diana burst into tears, startling you. Panicked you took her into your arms as you tried shushing her.
Diana collapsed into your arms in hiccups and gasps. Unable to grasp the situation you flailed around to calm down.
Did I say something wrong?!
But her next words froze you. Her suppressed emotions came tumbling over in small painful gasps.
"My majesty doesn't want our child, (Y/n). He wants me to choose him over our child. He even begged me. But I can't do that. I don't want to give up on my child. This is my baby, our baby, how can I give--!"
You hugged her close as soft cries left her mouth in small hiccups. Stroking her hair to calm her down.
You looked at the moon with distant eyes as the rays fell on the crying Diana and you holding and consoling her. Her words echoed in your mind, painfully ringing. Somehow you understood why Claude didn't want Diana to go through the pregnancy. He didn't want to lose Diana because he loved her and Diana didn't want to give up the baby because it was proof of their love.
It was tough choice for both of them. But more tough it was for Diana. She had to choose between her lover and her unborn child. And she already made her mind even at the risk of upsetting her love.
Their love for each other brought on the conflict between them.
You carefully chose your words, ignoring the heat in your heart.
"Don't cry. You choose the child, are you regretting it?" You softly asked.
She immediately shook her head within your chest. "No! I will never regret choosing our baby. But my majesty....I don't want my majesty alone hurting all by himself."
You stroked her hair and smiled bitterly. "You can't do anything about it, Diana. He has to respect your choice. He cares for you, so losing you while knowing he could stop it wouldn't be easy for him. For now, give him space. Once he cools down, he'd come around it." You lied through your teeth.
You felt guilty for lying to her. You knew the future. What would happen once she's gone. But you didn't want Diana to hurt till her last breath, knowing in the near future her child would be abandoned and killed at one point by the hands of the man she's entrusting her child to.
Of course you came here to prevent that. There was no way you were going to let that happen again.
Your words seem to calm Diana as her crying stopped, turning into silent hiccups.
"I'm so glad you came back." She sniffed, cheeks flushed red and stained from tears.
You wiped her tears away and thought ways to cheer her up. Now that she could everything off her chest, you weren't going let a single drop of tears fill her eyes.
"Oof-- what's with all this depressed aura, huh?! Tsk, tsk crying doesn't suit your pretty eyes." You pinched her cheeks, lightly pulling it. "Begone gloominess!"
"Ah!" She let out a startled squeak, looking wide eyes at you as you lightly stretched her flushed cheeks.
You grinned at her suprised face. "Tell your sadness to take backseat because it's time to let happiness have a test drive!" You declared proudly, puffing up your chest.
"W-What?"
"It's boring to be sad all the time. So let's be happy, okay. I'm here to kick sadness in the face and drag happiness here in your lap by its ear. So smile all the time for me. Got it?!"
Diana puffed out a soft laugh, finally relaxing back. "Smile. I can do that."
"Yep, that's the spirit!" You gave her thumps up. "Now that all depressing stuff is done and over with. Let's talk about exciting stuff!"
You got on your knees and put your ears to her stomach. You could feel the movement of the baby against your cheeks and suddenly you jumped when the baby kicked.
You giggled. "Little one, recognises her aunt! Hi there little one, I'm your aunt. Remember me okay, cause I'm gonna be the coolest best aunt in whole history."
Diana shot you down real quick. "You're not her aunt.
You gaped at her in pure shock. "What, why not? I'm your sister-like-best friend right! So technically your baby is my niece and I'm her aunt. The cool aunt!"
"No. You can't be her aunt."
You put your hand on your chest and cried out in fake pain. "Diana this is betrayal! The ultimate betrayal. I thought you get me. But here you are taking my rightful position away that I dreamt when I was only a child. How could you do this to me?!"
Diana softly scoffed, pushing you away with a laugh. "I don't want you to be the aunt."
"You want me to be the uncle then? Isn't that weird?"
"God, no! Goodness how do you even come up with that." Diana had a exasperated look on her face as she stared at you incredulous.
You pouted at her. "Then I don't get what the problem is! Explain to me now!"
Diana grabbed your hand and placed it on her stomach witha bright beam. "Silly, I want you to be the Godmother of my child."
You were stunned to silence. She wanted you to be her Godmother. Emotions you couldn't describe started welling up, bring slight tears to your eyes.
My past self would've been so happy to hear this. The child she loved so much, cared so deeply, becoming her Godmother would've been the greatest honour she could ever receive. Too bad she died without ever getting her feelings acknowledged.
"(Y/n)?"
Cheeks flushed red, you rubbed the back of your nape bashfully, blinking away the painful tears. "Oh yeah. Definitely. I'm mean it's a bit different than what I expected but then again who are we talking about? Me! I can the best Godmother to ever be."
Diana smiled. "I'm sure. I want you to care for her and love her like I'd do."
"You don't even have to say it! I will love her to moon and back. I'll be her Godmother, her guardian, her protector, anything she wants me to be. I won't let anything or anyone hurt her. This my promise to you."
You put your hand on her stomach gently and whispered softly. "This my promise to you."
Diana beamed at you with a grateful smile. "My child would be happy to have you, (Y/n)!"
"I hope so." You mumbled shyly. Diana giggled at your flustered self making you pout at her.
Suddenly your hood started to rustle and unsurprisingly Ether popped on your head and you glared looking up at him with annoyed look.
"Finally! Where the heck do you vanish to when I need you the most?!"
Meow. Ether lazily pulled your hair making you squeal in pain.
"Stupid cat!"
Diana's eyes started sparkling as she watched Ether with longing. Her dainty hand outstretched towards him.
"Can I pet him?! Pretty please?"
Ether seeing her hand, let out a growl and you grabbed him before he could bolt or attack her.
"Ether." You warned him in low voice as you handed him to Diana.
With a grumpy look on his face, Ether went limp in her hands letting her pat his soft fur to her heart's content.
You snorted at his grumpy look. You deserve it, you troublesome cat.
"Now let's call everyone. They must worrying about a stranger being alone with their Lady."
You opened the door and Hannah and Ces toppled over each other, tumbling in the room with a surprised squeak and nearly giving you heartattack.
This two gossipers...
You blinked at them blankly before your lips curled up into devious smirk. "I wonder what Lily would think of you two eavesdropping on us. Such ungracious behaviour for maids."
Hannah and Ces paled visibly and your mischievous smirk widened when you see Lily coming this way.
They got up hastily got up, stiffly looking at you with puppy eyes.
You snorted. "I won't snitch you."
Hannah and Ces looked relieved but paled when you added. "For now."
"Come in, you guys. Let's introduced ourselves."
Once everyone came inside, looking curiously at you. You clapped your hands together and grinned at them.
"So let me introduce myself officially. I'm (Y/n) Scarlett. Call me (Y/n) and I'm a mage Healer who happens to be Diana's childhood bestie and I'm going stay here until the pregnancy is over. I hope we get along!"
Lily looked at Diana who happily nodded before she breathed out in relief much to your confusion.
Ces deadpanned looking doubtful of your words. "You look way too young to be Healer. Aren't they like old grandpas?"
"Don't judge someone by their age! I might be young but I can do tons of stuff if I put my mind into it." You finished it with a shrug and added nonchalantly. "Which rarely happens. Consumes too much energy, ya know."
Your lazy declaration made Hannah shout in exasperation. "You were doing great at the beginning, now you don't sound convincing at all?!"
You scratched your cheeks and you gave her a timid smile. "Well I'm not midwife. Just a healer who can use magic. And I think I would be real help with the whole pregnancy process."
Lily came forward with a smile. "We welcome you. I'm Lilian York. If you need something, please don't hesitate to say so."
"You got it, Lily!" You gave her a thumbs up with your signature grin. "Is it fine if I call you Lily?"
Lily looked suprised before she nodded. Your eccentric seem to take everyone by surprise. But that's fine. You were here to surprise everyone, make them happy. To dispel the depressive aura and make the last moment with Diana count.
There was a growl and you all looked at blushing Diana who patted her stomach.
"I'm think I'm might be hungry. My child is making a fuss inside my tummy."
You snickered at her red face before you proudly puffed your chest. "You hungry? Well, no fear when I'm here. Let me whip out something real quick."
You stormed out with determined steps.
"Does she know where the kitchen is?" Lily enquired. Hannah and Ces shrugged while Diana just smiled.
Minutes later a crash sounded startling everyone in the room.
Everyone rushed towards the kitchen worried while Diana took her time with Lily helping her.
"What on earth?!" Hannah exclaimed once she reached the kitchen.
Black smoke was coming out from the kitchen.
"Lady (Y/n)?!"
Hannah and Ces rushed in with perplexed faces. Once they entered they found you leaning on the counter coughing out your lungs. Their gaze swept through the kitchen which was a disaster with all veggies and equipment strewn around absurdly.
You coughed violently, waving your hands to keep the smoke away as you leaned in the counter, eyes tearing up from the smoke.
"Lady (Y/n), are you alright?!
"Haha. I'm fine but..." You laughed nervously at them.
"But?"
"Well, there was something wrong with the oven."
The oven was missing from its place as the bewildered maids searched for it.
"What happened to the oven?" Hannah asked dumbfounded
"Actually the oven..." You trailed off fidgeting with a nervous smile.
"Oven, yes?" Ces demanded.
You looked up.
Both of them followed your gaze and were stunned, their jaw dropped to the floor.
The oven was stuck in the ceiling with smoke coming out of it.
"H-how?" Hannah uttered in disbelief.
"I thought you could cook with the confidence you showed earlier." Ces said blankly.
You avoided her scrutinizing gaze. "I can cook, not sure if it'd be edible. But cook nevertheless. However, the oven decided to rebel against my wishes and launched itself into the ceiling."
"Not e-edible..?!"
Your words seem to shock them. Still bewildered Hannah and Ces exchanged a look before looking down at you with a 'she's definitely crazy' look
"Please lady (Y/n) leave the cooking to us." Hannah pushed you out the kitchen.
Diana was softly laughing as you were pushed out from the kitchen and you sheepishly grinned at her. "Guess you can't be talented in everything."
"Certainly not. Especially cooking." Diana snickered.
After Lily took the command and cleaned the mess you created, she cooked dinner for everyone which you gobbled down in hungrily until your felt like exploding from its deliciousness.
You sighed in satisfaction as you patted your stomach. "It was delicious, Lily!"
"I'm glad you like it." Lily humbly said.
Diana laughed, having finished her own food, looking content.
You shot her a look. "What, it was delicious. I couldn't stop myself."
Diana shook her head, puffing her cheeks "I did not say a word!"
"Your eyes are judging."
"I'm not!"
You continued teasing Diana who pouted at you like a puffer fish.
You were happy that she was finally back to her cheerful, smiling self. Your efforts seems to payoff. Her smile was more than enough compensation for your hardwork.
You told her all about your adventures as bounty hunter. Her curious yet shocked expression made you laugh out loud.
"It's late. I'm sure Lady Diana and you are tired. Please rest." Lily order requested you.
Your throat was dry from all the talking and you made your way to the kitchen only to be stopped by Hannah who shook her head rapidly.
"I'm not going to burn the kitchen. I just want water."
"Miss..." You gave her a long stare and she changed her words. "Err (Y/n). I think it would better for everyone's safety that you stay away from the kitchen. Wait here I'll get the water for you."
You grumbled under your breath, slightly offended by her words. "I'm not a kitchen hazard, am I?"
"After almost burning down the palace, the answer should be obvious." Ces snorted. And you glared at her.
"Lily, look Ces is being a big meanie to me!" You complaint to Lily.
"Don't be mean, Ces but (Y/n) you should stay away from kitchen for your own safety."
"Wahh! Lily is a meanie too! Diana you're my only true friend here."
"Lily is right, (Y/n)."
You sulked at a corner. "Wow! Everyone is ganging up on poor me. Great!"
Diana put a finger to her lips to suppress her laugh. She realized just how long it had been since she laughed or even smiled. After the big fight with majesty she constantly felt depressed. She hasn't seen the emperor since then making her even low spirited but... Diana looked at you sulking in the corner and smiled to herself. It's only your first day and you already made her so happy with your cheery, eccentric personality.
"(Y/n), I have your favourite chocolates with me. Want to share?" Diana asked beaming.
Immediately you brighten up and shot up from your crouching position. "Of course! Besties always share!"
Lily sweat-dropped. "She switched her mood."
Hannah added. "So quickly at that!"
Ces standing beside her said in firm voice. "I'm still betting she's mental."
Night quickly deepened and everyone retreated to their room. Diana and you were sharing the same room, only difference was you were taking the couch while the bed was hers.
After Lily's horrifying suggestion that you might accidentally kick Diana, you decided to sleep on the couch.
"(Y/n)"
You were adding fluffy pillow on the couch to make it comfortable to sleep when Diana's soft voice made you turn towards her with a tilt of your head. "Yes?"
"Why didn't you come earlier? I'm almost 7 months into pregnancy." Diana asked as she laid down on her own bed, bringing the covers to close her chin.
You did expected her to ask you that. You plopped on the couch and rolled over your back and looked at her.
I went to find someway to save both you and the unborn baby. But sadly I couldn't. Now I'm here to just support you and make your pregnancy as painless as possible.
You didn't tell her that. That would open a whole new can of worms.
"I had things to take care of before I came here. Sorry." You gave her apologetic look but Diana only shook her head with a gentle smile.
"I was only curious. No need to blame yourself. You're here, that's all that matters."
Her sincere words warmed up your heart as a hopeless smile formed on your lips as you repeated her words with more genuineness. "Yeah, I'm here. That's all that matters."
Here to change the tragedy by all means necessary.
You looked out the window. The sky was cloudy and gloomy. I wonder if Lawrence escaped the backlash of helping me escape? I hope so. I'd never forgive myself if something were to happen to him because of me.
Your gaze lingered on the Garnette Palace. You turned away and forcefully shoved away the memories that came rushing in with bittersweet feelings.
Exhaustion took over your body and your eyes fluttered close. Breath becoming steady as your whole body sank into the comfort of the bed.
Sadly no peace came, only the regrets of past life haunted your dreams like demons clawing at their helpless prey.