kageyama's pov—
kageyama knew you were gone forever the second those words left his lips.
and yet he didn't regret them. not a single one.
and he didn't care.
because he meant every word.
okay maybe he didn't actually mean every single word he said, but he still didn't regret them.
why?
because he loved her.
love is a strong word, but it was the right word. slowly and surely, she had crept into kageyama's hard shell.
he had figured it out over the weeks of ghosting and tried to lie to himself that he didn't have feelings for her.
he tried to push her away—because he's never felt this way before, and also because he didn't want to ruin a friendship.
he tried to stop himself from thinking about her.
because relationships get messy. and the friendship they already had was all kageyama needed.
but at the end of the day, it was her who made him smile the most.
and it was also her who made him hurt the most.
all kageyama wanted was some time to collect himself. to end the feelings. and to stay away until then.
but after what suna and atsumu told him, it seemed like y/n was completely over him.
isn't that what kageyama wanted?
so why did it still hurt so much?
when kageyama saw her coming into that cafe with oikawa of all people—and calling oikawa "toru," it made his blood boil.
and when kageyama heard that she said she loved oikawa, it made him want to slap the gleeful look off the chocolate haired boy's face.
it made kageyama forget about trying to stay away from her.
and when oikawa confessed, she didn't even move.
she was willing.
she liked him back.
and knowing that was what tore kageyama apart.
kageyama was already trying not the think about the fact that he was being replaced—but by oikawa?
of all people, it was oikawa.
of all the people that she could've liked, it was oikawa.
toru oikawa.
kageyama hated oikawa before, but it was nothing compared to what he felt now—to when he saw him embrace her.
it hurt too much seeing them together. as a result, his jealousy got the better of him.
yet he didn't regret the fight. kageyama knew that it would never have worked either way.
there was no future for the two of them.
so why even bother trying? pushing her fully away would be better.
besides, kageyama still felt the anger towards her—how could she so willingly like oikawa of all people?
even though he won't admit it, kageyama understood that he went a little too far—that maybe some things were said in the heat of the moment.
whatever. it's not like i lied.
time seemed to have gone in slow motion as y/n ran out the door.
he knew that this would be the last time he saw y/n. he didn't know how he knew... but he was sure of it.
he scoffed. so be it.
it's not like kageyama wanted to be around her anymore after the pain of the betrayal.
of being chosen over.
over someone like oikawa.
"are you fucking INSANE? you're a piece of shit." oikawa screamed at him. oikawa gave kageyama a look of pure rage as he ran out of the cafe after y/n.
"tobio-kun i—" atsumu breathed. "that was too far."
and with that, he pushed open the door and ran into streets.
suna and osamu said nothing, but casted kageyama a look of disgust before following behind atsumu.
kageyama felt a pang as he realized that nothing would be the same—ever.
he wouldn't even be able to stay friends with atsumu.
it's all gone. for good.
maybe it's for the better.
"you sure as fuck have a good explanation for that."
kageyama whipped his head around to see sakusa with an angry expression on his face.
through everything, kageyama had forgotten that sakusa was still there.
he laughed without mirth. "why are you still here then? just leave."
sakusa's cold look melted a fraction before he walked up to kageyama.
"i've seen people act with broken hearts. why did you?"
kageyama looked at sakusa in shock, but spoke in a hard voice. "i don't have to explain anything."
sakusa sighed. "you should leave then. atsumu and suna won't take your words lightly."
"you're not going to stop me? you're not going to tell me that i'm going to hell?"
sakusa gave kageyama a sad smile. "no. no i'm not."
kageyama looked at him incredously.
"why—"
"because," sakusa smiled, "once upon a time, i've done the same."
✰
your pov—
you felt the raindrops on your head.
you ignored them, letting the rain blend with your tears.
you sobbed for what felt like hours, knelt in that small, dark alleyway. not thinking about anything except for the echo of kageyama's voice.
you had deleted his number, throwing your phone onto the ground, and letting the rain slowly wreck all the memories of the texts.
letting the water seep into the device that once connected you to everything you loved.
"Y/N?"
you turned at the sound of your voice, a little hopeful that it would be the boy you ached for.
the boy you wanted the apologies from.
but your hope faded as you saw a worried oikawa run towards you.
"y/n i—are you okay—"he panted, but broke off when he realized that you were, in fact, not okay.
you were the exact opposite of 'okay'.
hot tears still flowing from your eyes, oikawa looked pained as he lost his words.
he stepped towards you, lifting you away from the ground.
all he did was hold you. in his arms, letting you sob into his chest.
"shh it's okay it's okay," he comforted, hugging you. "he's not worth shit."
oikawa's words made you cry harder.
even though kageyama isn't worth shit, a part of you still wanted him.
never again.
never again.
at that moment, you seemed to remember what oikawa had said.
it felt like years ago when the pain was as small as a confession.
but your heart ached even more as you thought about how oikawa much be feeling right now.
"i-i'm sorry," you sobbed. "toru i'm s-sorry."
"it's okay. it's okay y/n."
"b-but oiks," you cried, almost having trouble breathing. "i love—i loved him."
oikawa froze, his expression faltering a fraction of a second before his smile reappeared. it was sad this time, and you saw his eyes in pain.
"y/n, everything is going to be okay. don't cry love."
you continued crying into oikawa's chest.
no. oikawa was wrong.
nothing was ever going to okay ever again.
"WHERE IS SHE?"
you looked over oikawa's shoulder to see the twins and suna ran towards you two.
"y/n—" suna broke off seeing your tears.
without a second word, suna took you from oikawa's arms and held you.
a willing hug—for the first time.
suna understood that all you needed was to let it out. he whispered in your ear, "if you believe a single word of what that asshole said earlier—"
suna smiled at you. "i'm going to fucking kill him later."
your small laugh was mixed with a sob. nothing was able to stop the throbbing in your heart.
you listened to the sound of the rain soaking you as you held onto suna.
everything was gone.
you stood there in the rain with your friends, your broken heart tearing you apart from the inside.
it felt like you were drowning, but there was nobody that could pull you up to shore.
you allowed yourself to grieve, to feel every part of the pain.
because you were not grieving for the words kageyama said, but for the friend you lost.
for the love you had felt.
for the future you could have shared.
someone that came into your life so naturally, someone that had became so tangled in your world, someone that fit so perfectly...
was now gone forever.
— END OF SEASON TWO —