College parties are a great place to find hot chicks.
Snagging a tortilla chip at the entrance, I place it on my tongue and stick it out for Emery to promptly lick off into his own mouth.
One of the arts majors we met at orientation - Daisy - approaches us with some of her friends. They're all smokin'.
"Hey, stud," she greets with lips curled in a sumptuous smirk. "And Emery, was it?"
Like any good bro, I am Emery's de facto wingman, but he's too damn loyal to Aly for it to matter.
I give Daisy my quintessential charming treatment, chatting all three girls up while Emery curls up on the nearest couch, texting.
"So... You guys a couple?"
I laugh, hard.
"No; we're just friends."
I jump on top of him, making the couch squeak in protest.
"You're gonna have sex with her?" Emery inquires.
"Nah. Jim dumped her. I don't want rejected sloppy seconds."
Daisy holds out her phone and I position Emery on my lap with one arm around his neck, using the other hand to flip the camera off.
"Send it to me," I instruct her after.
"I don't have your number."
"He'll give it to you." I nod towards Emery.
Spotting an even hotter group of girls across the room, I take off.
It takes me two seconds flat to get a girl to make out with me. I show up with my guns and my handsome face and my killer smile and say, hey, wanna make out? And then I find myself upstairs, making out with her on some bed. Some partiers stand on the sidelines, alternately watching us and snogging each other.